Take My Dress Off (24 page)

I shuffled through
my papers, looking for my winter break extra credit. I couldn’t concentrate, my mind skipped like a broken record. The events of the previous night played over and over in my head. Danielle dragged in and plopped down in the desk behind me. We both knew Dillon wasn’t showing up today.

“Here,” she said shoving some papers toward me. “You’re gonna need this.”

“I was looking for that.” It must have gotten mixed up with hers when we were at breakfast at the diner this morning.

Todd Guthrie bounced into the classroom in tight white jeans, a loose, sherbet orange shirt, a white linen jacket, and flowing white scarf. He looked like a Creamsicle. He gracefully slid into his chair and twisted toward me.

“Hey ladies,” he beamed.

I definitely was not in the mood for him today. My head was pounding from vodka soda revenge.

“You’re wearing white after Labor Day,” Danielle snickered. “Aren’t the Gay Police going to come after you?”

“You’re wearing fishnets under shorts. They’ll drag you away first. Madonna is so 1985, honey.”

Danielle flipped him off.

“You’re awfully chipper for a Monday morning, Todd.” I pushed my Ray Bans up the bridge of my nose. The fluorescents overhead were killing me and Todd’s outfit wasn’t helping either.

“I had the most amazing evening. I think I’m in love,” he gushed.

“Again? What happened to Ben?” I asked.

“I’m so over him, darling. I was too much for him to handle.”

“Todd, turn around,” glared Danielle. “No one cares.”

“Jeez, Danielle, back off,” I whispered.

The bell rang and Mr. Haines marched into the room. Everyone passed in their work as he wrote the warm-up problems on the board.

“You’ve got five minutes, gang,” he said as he collected the papers from the front of the rows. When he got to Todd he paused and shook his head, making a poor attempt to conceal a smile.

“What?” asked Todd looking up to Mr. Haines.

“Nothing, Mr. Guthrie,” he said taking the papers from Todd. A few students giggled. “Get to work, gang.”

“You people don’t get fashion,” Todd scoffed, bowing his head into his notebook.

I struggled with the problem. The numbers swirled around on my paper. I couldn’t focus. My head was pounding and I regretted coming to class with each passing minute.

“Alright, gang,” began Mr. Haines. “Turn to your partner and compare your problems.”

I looked back to Danielle but her head was down on her desk, her dark curls spreading over the edges. Todd handed me his notebook. I glanced at the problem but it still didn’t make sense.

“How much
did
you drink last night?”

“A lot,” I grimaced.

“While you were getting polluted I met my soul mate,” Todd beamed.

“Where did you meet him?” I asked feigning interest as I copied his problems into my notebook.

“Rumors.”

I stopped writing and looked up. “Rumors? I was there last night.”
And it’s the last thing I wanted to remember today.

“Seriously?” he asked. “I didn’t see you,” he smiled. “Anyway, he’s a complete babe.”

“Do I know him?” I asked and handed back his notebook.

“Probably not, he’s like, older. He goes to Palomar.”

“Who doesn’t?” I said, praying I didn’t end up there too.

“His name is Chaz.”

“What?” A shot of adrenalin pierced my heart, my chest squeezing like a steel trap.

“Chaz Serna,” Todd smiled dreamily. “What an amazing kisser….” I didn’t hear the rest of what he said because the blood was rushing through my ears.

Danielle shot up from behind me. “Shut the fuck up! I told you to keep it to yourself!”

I grabbed the sides of the desk, I was going to faint.

“Hey!” shouted Mr. Haines. “What’s going on over there?”

“Oh my God!” I screamed.

I leapt from the desk and ran into the hall, Danielle fast at my heels behind me. I collapsed against the wall and slid down, covering my ears with my hands but I couldn’t block out Todd’s voice. It kept repeating over and over in my head. Danielle slid onto her knees next to me, pulling me into her embrace. I couldn’t move. I was numb.

“Ladies?” called Mr. Haines from the doorway. “What’s going on?”

“Her cramps are killing her,” shouted Danielle.

“Do whatever you need to do,” he said and quickly ducked back into the classroom.

I stared at Danielle. Her dark eyes were wide as she studied me in return. “You fucking knew!” I screamed. “You told Todd to shut up! Oh my God!” My back flattened against the wall. “How could you keep this from me?” I sobbed and choked back the bile creeping up my throat.

“Paige, I told you a million times I thought something was off about Chaz. You wouldn’t fucking listen!”

“But you knew about Todd…”

“I saw them at Rumors last night. That’s why I had Dillon get you out of there. After you left I confronted Donny. I pressured him pretty hard and he finally confessed. He said Chaz is bi just like him. I swear I was going to tell you, Paige. I was trying to figure out how, when.”

“Oh my God!” I covered my face with my hands. “Everyone knows but me.”

Danielle shook her head, “No, no, honey.” She drew me back into her arms. She stroked my hair as I sobbed.

“I want to go home,” I sniffed and wiped my cheeks. “I can’t stay here.” I thought of the scene I’d made in the classroom. Sloane was going to have a field day with this.

“Sure, let’s get out of here.” She stood first then pulled me to my feet.

“Shit! My stuff is still in the classroom. I can’t go back in there,” I whimpered as I steadied myself against the wall.

“I’ll get it. I’ll meet you at your car.” Danielle squeezed my hand and gave me a reassuring smile.

***

“You’re going to have to face him eventually,” said Danielle as she chewed on her striped straw. She talked me into going to Rocket’s for lunch but I had lost my appetite.

“I know. Part of me wants to march straight over to his house and punch him in the face and the other part of me never wants to see him again.”

“Me too,” she said, dragging her fry through a pool of ketchup.

“What if he won’t talk to me?”

She glared. “He better talk to you. That’s the least he can do after all this.”

“I feel so foolish.” Another round of tears stung my eyes. “How could he do this to me?”

“He’s one confused mother fucker that’s for sure,” she snorted and set her drink on top of the napkin so it wouldn’t blow away. I opened my mouth to speak and stopped myself. I was about to defend him, like I so often did with Danielle. But this was different. I was surprised she hadn’t said
I told you so
yet.

“Is Donny going to tell him that I know?”

“No. I made him swear he wouldn’t.”

“I don’t trust him. I don’t trust any of
them
.”

“Hey!” Danielle pinned me with her eyes. “Don’t rope Don into this. He’s never pretended to be something he’s not. He’s always been straight with me.”

I raised my eyebrows to her. “Straight and Don don’t go in the same sentence.”

She smirked. “You know what I mean, what you see is what you get with Don.”

“And you’re okay with that?”

“Do I have any other choice? That’s Don. It’s who he is and I accept it.”

I shook my head. It wasn’t that easy for me. I needed rules, I needed black and white. I didn’t understand when the colors blurred to gray. I thanked Danielle for lunch and dropped her back off at school.

I knew what I was going to do.

***

I cruised along Riverside Drive and pulled over to a pay phone. He picked up on the first ring.

“Come over. Now.”

He was waiting in the doorway, INXS’s
What You Need
blasting behind him. I tried to hold it together as I walked up the steep drive.

“Come here,” he said and I fell into him. His lips softly brushed against mine and my fingers tangled into his hair. He swept me up into his arms, kicked the front door closed, and carried me down to his bedroom.

“No one’s home,” he reassured as he lowered me down onto his waterbed. I collapsed back onto my elbows as he adjusted the volume on the stereo.

“You know about Chaz,” I began.

“Yes.”  He sat next to me.

“You’ve known for a while, haven’t you?”

The question shot out into the space between us, swirling around overhead, not knowing where to land.

Dillon cast his eyes down to me, glittering in the faint light of the room. “Yes.”

“How long have you known?” I sat up, stiffening.

“Awhile.” He reached for my hand and took it into his lap.

“Before or after I started seeing him?” I squeezed my eyes shut.

“Before,” he whispered.

Tears slowly ran down the sides of my cheeks.

“Why…didn’t…you…tell…me?” My breathing was staggered as I tried to form words. “How could you…keep this… from me?”

“Paige, I swear at first I thought you knew. He was a friend of Donny’s for God’s sake.” 

And then
Almost Paradise
softly poured from the speakers. 

“Oh my God!” I cried. “Turn that off, fuck!  Why do you have that stupid song on your tape?”

“I like it,” he whispered. 

My head was spinning.

He braced his arms on my shoulders and turned me toward him.  “I thought you were okay with it, all that bisexual stuff. Like Danielle is with Donny. When I realized what he was up to…it was too late.” His hands dropped from my shoulders. “You wouldn’t have believed me anyway.” He reached over to his desk and grabbed a tissue box.

“What he was up to?” He held the box in front of me and I took one. “What in the hell is that supposed to mean?” I said as I wiped my nose.

“Chaz only went after you to get back at me.”

His words hit me like a slap across the face. “Back at you? For what?”

Dillon rested his hands on his knees and lowered his head. “Did he tell you about Miranda Chavez?”

“Chaz’s old girlfriend? What the hell does Miranda have to do with this?”

“I used to date her little sister, Shelley.”

“And?”

“I don’t quite remember when Chaz started hanging out here but that guy Spade brought him over to party one night.”

“Spade?” I thought back to my first date with Chaz. It was the night we saw
Rocky Horror
at the drive-in. “I know him.”

“They were partying pretty hard and when the coke came out I bailed and went to bed.

“Coke?” I gasped. “As in cocaine?”

He nodded and handed me another tissue. “I got up in the middle of the night to take a piss and…and…when...” He took a deep breath. “When I walked into the bathroom…” The words stuck in his throat.

I shook my head. I knew what was coming.

“Chaz was in there…with Donny.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “It was just so weird.
My brother
. I was so fucking mad at both of them, I just…reacted. I called Shelley and told her. She told Miranda so of course that was it for her and Chaz. Donny kicked my ass pretty bad for that one.” He shook his head. “Anyway, Chaz blamed me for losing Miranda and Donny made me promise to stay out of it when you came along.”

I rose from the bed. I felt like there was no one left to trust. Danielle, Donny, now Dillon. Everyone had known I had made a fool out of myself except me.

“I have to get out of here. I feel so sick.” I reached for my bag.

“You hate me, don’t you?” His dark eyes pleaded with mine.

I couldn’t reply. I had nothing left to say. The intro to Journey’s
Open Arms
filled the room and suddenly I didn’t care about any of it. I wanted to feel something besides pain. I needed Dillon’s skin pressed against mine, his hands on my body, in my body, anything to get this sick feeling to go away. Because right now I felt like I was vanishing. I had given Chaz everything that made me feel alive.

I reached my arms up around Dillon’s neck and sought his lips. He softly returned my kiss and I felt that familiar heat that burned through my core. I still wanted Dillon and I was finally ready to admit to myself that I had never stopped.

Dillon pulled back sharply. He loosened my hands from his neck and held them firmly at my sides. Pinning me with his dark eyes he said, “Paige, I don’t want to be a rebound fuck. I need more than that. I’m not chasing you around anymore.”

“You’re not a rebound.” I reached my arms around his neck again. “I’ve wanted you for so long, Dillon.”

I tugged at the hem of his t-shirt. He shrugged out of it and tossed it to the side. Of course I had seen him without his shirt before but never like this. His shoulders were broader, the muscles more defined. Sharp lines shot down in a V on either side of his lower abdomen. My pulse quickened as I thought about where they led. I ran my hands across his chest, relishing the feel of his hard body as I kissed his neck. He backed me to the bed and when I felt my calves touching the frame I sunk into it.