Take My Hand (12 page)

“I’ll
get going too,” I uttered quietly to Emily.

“You
don’t have to. Chris, you go and hop in my bed and I’ll sleep out here on the
couch when Dex goes home.”

“You’re
not sleeping on the couch,” Chris and I countered in unison. That was the first
time we eyed one another up. It was like a silent standoff – glaring into
each other’s eyes and trying to ascertain the genuineness behind the other
one’s protectiveness of Emily.

“It’s
fine, doll. It’s late. You should get some sleep.” I rested my hand on her
shoulder and the disgusted look from Chris didn’t go unnoticed.

“I’m a
big girl and I’m saying I’m not tired yet,” she protested. “Chris, go to bed,”
she ordered.

“I’m
not leaving you alone with him,” he sneered. His eyes pierced mine and I could
tell he wished he had laser powers in them so he could take me clean out. My
eyes widened in response and my breath hitched. Was he just taking the whole
Big Bro title to a ridiculous level, or did he know something about me?

“Chris!”
Emily scolded.

“It’s
fine, Em-” I interrupted but she clamped her hand over my mouth. Jesus Christ
the feel of her flesh over my lips did crazy things to my insides. My heart
started to beat so fast I was sure it was about to dive out of my mouth. Maybe
the smell of the alcohol had somehow gotten me drunk.

“It’s
not fine!” she snapped. “He’s my friend, Chris. A friend that you haven’t even
tried to get to know while you’ve been here so don’t start spouting your
overprotective brother crap on me now.” So she noticed?

“Whatever.
This way yeah?” he asked pointing in the direction of Emily’s bedroom. Emily
nodded and he walked – or should that be stumbled – down the hall,
shaking his head.

“I’m
sorry about Chris. He’s just looking out for me and he gets a little pissy when
he’s drunk.” Hold the phone – did I just hear the word ‘pissy’ come out
of those innocent lips of hers. I felt adamant that was the first time I’d
heard her swear and for some peculiar reason, it kinda turned me on. Then I
found myself wondering what other dirty words would sound like trickling out of
them…

FRIEND.
FRIEND. FRIEND.

“No
problem, doll,” I assured her, settling back into the couch. “So what shall we
talk about?” I asked teasingly.
She
wanted me here and I was curious as
to why.

“We
could play the question game?” I tensed automatically. I didn’t like the sound
of that game. “I’m not even sure if it’s a real game, but Rachel and I have
been playing it since we were little. It’s basically just an excuse to pass the
time by taking turns to ask stupid questions. And you can’t ask the same
question as the other.”

‘Stupid’
questions. That I could do.

“Sure.
You go first.”

“Hmm,
gimme a minute.” She chewed on her bottom lip while she pondered and I couldn’t
draw my eyes away from it. I was starting to think I was losing my mind. “Got
it!” she declared proudly. “Have you ever gone a whole day without wearing any
underwear?”

“Seriously.
That’s your question?” Yeah, I could
definitely
handle this game.

“Just
answer it.”

“Then
yes. Today in fact.”

“You’re
lying!”

“I can
prove it if you’d like,” I teased, reaching for my zipper. This game was gonna
be fun.

“Erm,
no need for that… I’ll take your word for it.” Her soft cheeks pinked and she
looked down to her knees. It was the cutest thing I’d ever seen. “Your turn.”
She was so easy to embarrass and I could see I was about to have a helluva lot
of fun.

“Have
you ever had the pleasure of experiencing a multiple orgasm?” And there she
went… instantaneously her pink cheeks turned redder than her hair.

“You
can’t ask questions like that!”

“The
rules say I can ask whatever I want and that you have to answer.”

“I
never said that was a rule,” she pointed out, unable to look directly at me.

“Well
I’m making it one. So?” She started chewing on that perfectly plump bottom lip
of hers and I was starting to interpret that as a sign she was flustered.
Weirdly, I felt kinda proud I had that effect on her.

“No. My
turn.” She choked the word so quietly I barely heard it. That was a travesty.
This girl is special. She deserves to be treated as such. Jared was a fucking
idiot for letting her go.

“Have
you ever had any piercings?” she asked, double-checking my ears. Damn she was
about to blush again and she had no freakin’ idea.

“I have
four piercings,” I said, trying desperately hard not to grin.

“
Have?
”
she asked, searching my face with her eyes. Instead of telling her where I kept
them, I looked down. “Oh my God you haven’t!”

“I can
prove it if you’d like?” I teased just like before. And of course… she blushed.
I win!

“I
believe you,” she rushed out, shaking her head. “Now ask me something nice or
I’m not playing.”

“Aww
sowwy pwincess. Am I upsetting you?” I said as if talking to a baby. She pouted
at me and I laughed louder than intended, causing Jared’s lifeless body to stir
on the floor but thankfully not wake up. Hmm, something nice…

I
didn’t know if it would be classed as ‘nice’ but nevertheless it was something
I genuinely wanted to know so I asked it anyway.

“What
are you running from?” I whispered, the atmosphere around us turning thick and
serious.

“What
do you mean?” she answered, her baby-blue eyes widening in what looked like
surprise.

“You
never talk about your life before you came here. And it’s obvious how much
you’ve missed your brother so why did you move so far away from him? There are
plenty of universities in the north.” I swear she was gonna make that bottom
lip of hers bleed if she chewed it any harder.

“I came
with Rachel. Apparently The University of London offers the best art program in
the country and she needs someone with her. What with her disability and
everything.” She was lying I knew she was. You don’t need to be best friends
with Rachel to know that she doesn’t
need
anybody. She is stronger and
more independent than anyone I’ve ever met before. Plus her eyes were looking
anywhere but at mine. So why would she lie to me? “My turn,” she added before I
had the opportunity to respond.

“Why
don’t you drink?” This game wasn’t so much fun anymore. But I guess I’d brought
it all on myself with my ridiculous need to discover what was going on behind
those beautiful, troubled eyes of hers. My instinctive reaction was to make
something up but then I figured this was my perfect chance to push her away. If
she knew the truth, she would most likely kick me out, and as much as I didn’t
want that to happen, it would eventually. I no longer saw the point of delaying
the inevitable.

“Because
I’m a recovering addict,” I admitted, looking her straight in the eyes and
awaiting her disgusted reaction. But it never came. Her lips parted ever so
briefly and she inhaled a gentle breath.

“So you
were an alcoholic?” she asked cautiously. I could’ve just nodded and wrapped
this thing up there and then, but instead I thought fuck it – why stop
now?

“I’m an
everything-a-holic, doll. Always will be. It’s not something you ever get
better from, just something you learn to control.”

“Everything
as in…
drugs?
” This was it. She was definitely gonna kick my ass out
now.

“Yeah.
You name it I’ve tried it. But it was the alcohol and cocaine which landed me
in rehab. I just got out in the spring. That’s why I’m here I guess. Completely
new start away from all the shit that took over my life,” I admitted, still
staring intently into her eyes – as if I was trying to
see
what she was thinking.

I
waited patiently for her snap. Or for her to get up and open the door for me to
leave. But… she didn’t. And I didn’t understand why.

“Wow,”
she sighed. “And your parents are okay with you moving thousands of miles away
after everything you’ve been through?” I may have been honest so far but my
parents were one issue I would never be willing to discuss with her –
with anyone.

“My
parents are dead.”

“God,
I’m so sorry,” she condoled. But I didn’t want her pity so I quickly changed
the subject.

“McDonald’s
or KFC?” She looked a little confused for a second but then caught on to what I
was doing. Running from the truth…

“McDonalds.
Custard or ice cream?”

“Ice
cream every time. Sweet or savory?”

“Savory.
Summer or winter?”

“Summer.”
You don’t see many barely dressed chicks in the winter do you? “Cat or dog?”

“Dog…”

The
game had become fun again and we went on asking pointless questions for over an
hour. By the end of it I was pretty sure I knew this girl better than anyone
I’d ever known before in my life. And despite her only scratching the surface,
she definitely knew
me
better than anyone I’d ever met before too. Apart
from Aunt Sarah of course.

By 4 AM
Emily was fast asleep, sat up on the couch with her legs sprawled across my
lap. Gently, I shuffled free and rolled myself on to the floor before lying her
down and covering her over with a comforter thrown over the back of the
cushions. I knelt down beside her, unable to move – staring at her like
some kind of fucking stalker.

Her
fiery hair was settled across one side of her face, billowing ever so slightly
every time she let out a breath. Before I could stop them my fingers were
reaching out to touch her cheek. I knew it was creepy and I told myself to stop
it but I just… couldn’t.

I
brushed two fingers along her jaw, for no other reason than I wanted to know if
the skin there felt as soft as it looked. It did. Then I stroked the lock of
hair that was sticking to her lips away and tucked it behind her ear.

“G’night,
doll,” I whispered before giving in to the urge to touch her once more and
smoothing the back of my hand down her exposed cheek. Her eyes began to flicker
and I couldn’t tell if it was because she was stirring or dreaming but I jumped
swiftly to my feet, stepped over a passed out Jared and headed out for my bike,
making sure to close the door gently behind me.

I found
myself smiling as I straddled Jenny. One of those genuine smiles that you
couldn’t stop appearing even if you wanted to. The type that make your jaw
ache. How the fuck did this happen? I came here expecting – no not
expecting,
planning,
to keep myself to myself. I swore I wouldn’t let
anyone in. Promised myself I wouldn’t give myself the opportunity to hurt
anyone.

Yet
here I was… going home after spending the evening with friends. Fucking
friends! And not just friends, but someone I considered to be my new
best
friend.
I hadn’t had one of those since I was fourteen – before I destroyed
everything.

And you
know what? It feels fan-fucking-tastic.

Emily

I
woke up with a severe crook in my neck and the very first thing I
wondered was where had Dexter gone. The second was who had covered me over with
the blanket my nanna knitted for me before she died.

Rubbing my neck I sat up and looked around for signs of life. Jared was
curled up on the floor, though I’m not sure that counted as a sign of life.
After exhaling a rather impressive yawn and stretching my stiff arms above my
head I stood up and headed to Rachel’s room.

“Go. A. Way,” she growled the second I opened her door. Great. Ordinary
Rachel was hard enough to deal with in the mornings, but Rachel with a
hangover? That’s someone I learned a long time to steer well clear of. Keeping
silent, I closed the door as quietly as I could. Then I turned and knocked on
my own.

“Leave me alone,” Chris grumbled through the wood. Well wasn’t this
awesome? Looked like I was in for such good company today.

I huffed all the way through my shower, and whined to myself through
getting dressed. I was bored, lonely and in an excessively bad mood. I tried to
distract myself with clearing up the mess they’d all made last night, but our
flat was so small it was done in under twenty minutes. Then I decided to watch
some telly, but couldn’t get to the remote because Jared was passed out on top
of it.

I huffed again and then purposely knocked a book from the shelf above
the couch, hoping that it would wake somebody up. It was then I realised a
giant train crashing through the walls of the building wouldn’t disturb these
guys.

Usually when I felt like this I would either find something fun to do
with Rachel or call Chris. But seeing as they were both comatose just a few
feet away from me I was just going to have to deal with the insane boredom on
my own.

“”Ah fuck I’m gonna throw up,” I heard Jared groan – already
divebombing to the bathroom.

Sod this. No way was I spending what should be a relaxing Sunday
surrounded by bad moods and vomit.

Me: R U busy? X

I waited nervously for Dexter’s reply,
hoping he didn’t think I was becoming clingy. I’d hate to be
that
friend who pestered
the hell out of you but you were too polite to tell them no.

Dexter: Just getting ready for my run. U OK?

He runs? Of course he does. A body like
Dexter’s doesn’t just happen by the grace of God.

Me: I’m fine. Was just a little bored. Enjoy your run :-)

If I was honest with myself I was kind
of disappointed. I must’ve gotten myself excited about spending time with him
without even realising it. How stupid was that?

Dexter: Come with me?

Okay so
that
wasn’t the kind of
time I would’ve gotten excited about spending with him.

Me: I can’t run x

Or at least I didn’t
want
to. Especially with
someone as fit as Dexter. I doubt I could outrun him to the bathroom.

Dexter: Sure you can. It’s like walking. Only faster. ;-)

I smiled at his reply. He was being
playful and it made me giggle like some pathetic thirteen year old with a
crush.

Me: Maybe another time x

I was lying through my bum cheeks of
course. There was no way he would ever convince me to go with him. I kept my
phone in my hand while I waited for his reply but it never came. Again, it
disappointed me and that made me angry with myself that I’d become so desperate
for company. I didn’t like being alone though. I never have. I spent too many
days crying all alone in my room as a kid because I had no one to play with and
my mum was too busy. I suppose that’s why Rachel and Chris have always been on
call whenever I’m bored.

When the disgusting sound of the third
bout of hurling came from the bathroom I knew I had to go somewhere.
Anywhere.
So after dragging
my trainers on I picked up the keys for my car and strolled towards the door. I
had nowhere in mind which usually meant I’d end up at the supermarket. Maybe I
could grab some breakfast from the café while I was there.

“Steady, doll,” Dexter said, making me
squeal as he steadied my shoulders with both hands. I opened the door while
checking the time on my phone, obviously not expecting anyone to be standing
there – hence the smacking straight into him at full force.

“What are you doing here?” I asked,
confused and probably more standoffish than I’d intended.

“I’m taking you running. So get your ass
back inside and change,” he ordered.

“I’m not running with you,” I protested.
As much as I tried to stop myself I couldn’t help staring at how distinctive
his muscles were through his tight-fitting t-shirt. Then I caught them… the
sweat soaking through the thin white fabric had made it transparent enough to
make out two perfectly round rings dangling from a place I shouldn’t be
looking. The only way to cool my cheeks down right now was to close my eyes and
swallow… hard.

He must’ve thought I was crazy.

I
thought I was crazy.

“Yes you are. Now change.”

“No.”

“Don’t make me strip you naked right
here in the doorway and change you myself.” He wouldn’t. Would he?

“Dexter, please. I haven’t ran since I
was a kid.”

“No shit. Maybe you should start and
tighten those thighs of yours up. Might stop ‘em wobbling when you walk,” he
teased. He better had’ve been anyway. “Look, seriously… you said you were
bored. I’ve come to make you un-bored. We can just walk if you want. But you
can’t send me away when I’ve ran all this way to see you now can you?”

I looked past him and out on to the
street for his bike. There was definitely no bike in the vicinity.

“You
ran
here? But you only texted me like fifteen minutes
ago!”

“I’m a fast runner,” he replied
nonchalantly. This was exactly what I was afraid of. It would take me four days
to run as far as Dexter’s building. “I’ll wait here all day, doll. You might as
well get it over with.” So this was what wanting to punch someone felt like?

“Fine,” I snapped, huffing for the
billionth time this morning. “Wait inside if you want.” Grinning wickedly like
the Cheshire Cat, he brushed passed me and walked over to the couch. How did he
get me to agree to this?

It took me half an hour to change into some leggings and a white v-neck
tee. It wasn’t so much the clothes, but finding a bra that would keep my boobs
from jiggling too much. I could practically hear Rachel laughing in the back of
my head while I did it. Yes, they may be small but they certainly have jiggle
potential if put under pressure.

Stepping out into the cool October air, I couldn’t believe I was about
to do this. I was going to die today. I could feel it.