Take My Hand (4 page)

Hold on a sec… I was supposed to be focusing
on
Jared –
not Mr Anonymous.

“Hey, cutie!” Jared gleamed with a smarmy
grin as he beckoned me over to join him. Cutie?
Really?
I suddenly felt
even more nauseous.

“Hey,” I mumbled back.

“You wanna catch a drink here or head
straight out?” Hmm. After pausing briefly to think about it I decided the pub
might be best to start with. It was somewhat familiar and there were plenty of
witnesses, so I perched myself gracefully onto a red velvet-topped barstool
next to him. My heart was bouncing like a pogo stick in my chest. I was absolutely
not
cut out for this being sociable lark.

“Here’s fine.”

Talk, Em! Remember? Chat, speak, converse…
reply with sentences longer than two syllables.

“So do you live near here?”
Go on girl!
An
actual, well constructed, reasonable question without a hint of a crack in my
voice.

“Yeah not too far. I rent a flat in Kings
Cross.” Now from my limited knowledge of London, I was pretty sure Kings Cross
was a fairly affluent district of the city. But then, he worked in a pub so it
was possible (and more likely) I was mistaken. “What about you? Am I allowed to
know where you live now your friend’s not around?” he teased. God I wished
Rachel
were
there. My mouth was so dry my lips were sticking to my
teeth.

“Rachel and I share a ground floor flat in those
maisonettes opposite Tesco over there.” I pointed over my shoulder like the
supermarket and flats in question could
actually
be seen from where we
were sitting. Then I felt stupid about it.

“Rachel. She’s, um… quite the feisty type I
noticed.” I couldn’t help but giggle at that. Feisty was a serious
under-evaluation.

“Yeah. She is,” I agreed with a smile.

“And she’s pretty hard to miss with the
purple hair and all the tats. I was kinda surprised she doesn’t tone it down a
bit – blend in. What with… you know… the chair and shit.” This was
definitely the point where someone with a dirty mouth would’ve yelled ‘what the
actual fuck?’

“Excuse me?” I snapped, offended. His cocky
smile dropped instantly when he realised his mistake. His now beaming red
cheeks were a sharp contrast to his sandy-blonde hair and he stuttered as he
tried to choke out what I hoped was an apology.

“Hey I’m- I mean I… Look that was a stupid
thing to say. I wasn’t judging I swear. Guess I’m just not sure I could be as
outgoing as her if the roles were reversed. But that’s my issue, not hers.
Fuck, you must think I’m a total dickhead.” Hmm, yes I was leaning towards that
conclusion. “Sorry.” He sounded sincere so I decided to let it go. I had to
give this being sociable thing longer than five minutes if I was to succeed.

“No worries. Just don’t ever say that to
Rachel. Her legs might not work but believe me that wouldn’t stop her kicking
your arse twice over,” I said with a forgiving smile even though I was
deadly
serious. No one messes with Rachel more than once and lives to tell the
tale.

“Yeah, I kinda got that vibe from her last
night,” he muttered, staring down at the bar. “Right, what’ll it be?” Jared
asked, beckoning Mr Nameless over with his empty pint glass.

“Just a Coke for me please.”

“Same again and a Coke, mate,” he said whilst
never taking his cheeky brown eyes off mine. Mr Nameless nodded and set about
getting our glasses.

“He always so chatty?” I quipped to Jared and
I was actually a little proud of myself for finding something amusing to say
all on my own. Jared made a grunting kind of laugh sound and cocked one of his
overly bushy eyebrows.

“Totally. Can’t shut him up most days,” he
teased – or at least I assumed he was teasing. I can’t imagine the
brooding American having a full-on conversation with
anyone.
Miserable
pig. “Nah, he’s cool when you get to know him.” Oops. Guess my face must’ve
given away what I was thinking. “Just likes his own space, you know.” Oh. Maybe
miserable pig was a little strong. I detest people who judge others and that
was precisely what I just did.

**********

Jared and I chatted for almost two hours and
it soon became pretty effortless. In all honesty
he
did most of the
talking but I’m pretty sure I held my own. Eventually I found myself rambling
on without even needing to pre-empt my next words.

Jared has a degree in media studies and he
explained in detail what that entailed. I still have absolutely no idea. I
briefly went on to discuss my own fast approaching studies and what I hoped to
gain from them but quickly changed the subject in case I was boring him. His
parents are both doctors and his younger sister has just completed the
foundation stage of her police training so it sounds like he comes from quite
an intellectual family. He asked me about my own family but again I didn’t go
into too much detail. I don’t have anything to say that would paint such a
glowing picture of my parents and I didn’t want him to think badly of them.
They’re still my parents and although they have flaws, I love them dearly.

When the pub crowd started picking up we
headed out for something to eat. There was a Pizza Hut within walking distance
so we went there because Jared had been drinking. My brother will be pleased to
know Jared does in fact drive and is the proud owner of a flashy BMW. I just
know
Chris’s next question will be ‘does he have points on his licence?’ but
come on… how do you pop that into general conversation with an almost stranger?

We were just finishing up the large,
stuffed-crust pepperoni we were sharing when Jared’s phone rang, interrupting
us. Jared was silent while a very audible voice on the other end of the line
seemed to be ranting on in his ear. Then Jared made that grunting/laugh sound
again (that was
so
not an attractive noise) before biting on his bottom
lip to try and stop any more sounds from escaping.

“Sorry, mate. You’re right it’s not funny.
It’s fuckin’ hilarious! Ah, come on, mate I’m just messing with you… Jesus…
three weeks! Um, sure… Grab what you can and I’ll make my way home to let you
in… sure, mate… No worries… Bye.”

“Something wrong?” I asked curiously, hoping
that wouldn’t be classed as prying. How long do you need to know a stranger for
before you can ask about their personal phone calls?

“Nothing serious. For
me
anyway. My
mate’s got a burst pipe – his flat’s totally flooded and needs a place to
crash for a couple of weeks. Looks like I’ve been landed with the role of
putting him up while his landlord sorts the place out.” I nodded in
acknowledgement. “So I’m really sorry but I’m gonna have to get going.” I think
I breathed my first comfortable breath in over three hours.

“Of course. That’s fine. You go.” And it
really
was
fine. Jared was a nice lad who was becoming increasingly
easier to talk to but nevertheless it was an overwhelming experience and I was
more than a little relieved it was coming to a close. “Hope your friend gets
things sorted.”

“Me too,” he replied, rising from his chair.
“I’m not used to sharing my space.” I stood up along with him and pulled out my
purse to settle our bill. I wasn’t sure how things like this worked on dates.
Was it old-fashioned to assume the guy would pay? “Put that away,” he ordered,
shaking his head and letting his bleached-blonde fringe slap across his
forehead. “This is on me.”

“Thanks,” I replied shyly, stuffing my purse
back in my handbag. “I had a really good time,” I added, because it was true.
Despite the initial apprehension it definitely went better than expected.

“Me too. I’d love to do it again sometime.”

“Sure. Me too,” I agreed, lying just a teeny
bit. I really did have a good time but after just one evening I wasn’t anywhere
near cured of my social phobia. I suppose I’m exaggerating a little. I’m not
scared
about meeting new people – I just don’t know how to do it.

“Great. Gimme your phone and I’ll put my
number in it. Then I’ll call you in the week.” A genuine smile erupted across
Jared’s face, causing small lines to form around his playful eyes. I teased my
phone from my bag and handed it over. Then Jared used it to call his own phone
and tapped his name alongside it. “There. Now you’ve got mine too.” He winked
at me, injecting my belly with waves of nerves. What did he mean? Why did I
need
his
number? Did he expect me to call him first? Was it so I
recognised his number when he called?

Dear God, I had some serious learning to do
on the social front.

I rang myself a taxi before popping my phone
back in my bag and then after accompanying Jared to the counter to pay for our
pizza, he walked me outside to wait for it. Then came the moment I’d been
dreading. He positioned his feet so he was just centimetres apart from me and a
confident smile tickled the edges of his lips. I knew what was coming even
before he leaned down to my level.

“Thanks for a
great time,” he whispered, and then I felt a slight breeze across my face as
his lips made their way to mine. Quickly and instinctively I jerked my head to
the side and his kiss landed on my cheek which was now on fire. When he pulled
himself away he looked almost pleased with himself – not even a bit
offended by my kneejerk reaction to his touch. I smiled bashfully but inside I
was yelling for the taxi to hurry the hell up. Immediately, yet a lifetime
later, my taxi slowed to a stop as it mounted the curb slightly. “I’ll call
you.”

“Okay.”

Within seconds I was strapped inside the back
of the car breathing for the first time in ten minutes. Thank God that was
over. Bring on round two.

Dexter

“
Don’t
,” I
ordered firmly when Jared came into view outside his apartment block. The shit
was laughing at me and I seriously wanted to punch him in the face. The
rational part of me knew
I
too would find it amusing if I caught sight
of
him
looking like a drowned rat with his entire life’s belongings
rolled into a soggy heap by his feet. But it wasn’t him. It was me. And I was pissed
off to the max.

After managing to compose himself just long
enough to pull his keys from his pocket, Jared buzzed us inside and led me up
to the twelfth floor of the fancier than anticipated building. I’d never been
to Jared’s before. He’d been to my place a couple of times but that was
uninvited and unannounced so I didn’t really get much choice in the matter.

Compared to Jared’s apartment, I live in a
cesspool. Everywhere is chrome and black granite with white leather furnishings
and glossy black gadgets everywhere – the ultimate bachelor pad. I’m
guessing his rich daddy had more than a little to do with it.

“Nice place,” I stated, absorbing my
surroundings.

“Cheers, mate. The girls think so too.” He
winked at me and I gave him my best revolted glare.

“Dude, you fucking flirting with me or
somethin’?”

“In your dreams, pal. Look it’s only a one-bed,
but the couch is pretty comfortable. I’ve spent many a night on there when I’ve
been too wasted to be arsed hauling my butt off to bed. You can use it for as
long as you like.” Jared’s a good guy. I’ve only known him a month or so but I
knew almost straight away he was the kind to get your back if you need it.

“Thanks, man. The landlord thinks it’s gonna
take three or four weeks, but I’m still hoping it’ll be sooner. The place is
ruined.” I’d been out for a run and when I came home I was met with a tsunami
of freezing cold water spurting in every direction. I don’t own much but
everything I do is absolutely drenched – including myself. The whole
place needs re-plumbing and in the meantime it’s uninhabitable which means I’m
effectively homeless. “And of course I’ll match the rent I was paying on my
place. My tenancy’s on hold till it’s all sorted so I’ll just transfer the
standing order over to your bank instead.”

“Don’t worry about it. Maybe save for some new
furniture or whatever other shit you need to replace.” Wow. Wasn’t expecting
that. Free rent? Get in. I knew I should argue and insist he take the money
from me, but the truth is I’ll have extra money to send over to Aunt Sarah and
there’s no way in hell I’d pass on a opportunity to do that.

“I really appreciate this,” I said sincerely,
tossing my sodden suitcase on the floor by my new couch-shaped bed. I couldn’t
fit the case on the back of my bike so I had to hail a cab. “And sorry if I
ruined your big date.”

“Yeah well I almost had that one covered
myself,” he admitted, rolling his eyes at no one in particular.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I kinda said I was surprised her mate in
the chair had the balls to sport the mad hair and tattoos and stuff. I sort of
implied she had enough reasons for people to stare at her.”

“Ouch. Not cool, man.” I can’t believe he said
that! What a dumbass. “Never,
ever
, diss a chick’s friend. It’s like
rule number one.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Sometimes I just can’t seem
to stop myself talking through my arse. But hey, that was in the first few
minutes and she stuck around so I’m pretty sure I’m forgiven.” That’ll be
because she’s a Tootsie. Tootsie’s forgive way too easily. Hence the fact
they’re so much easier to hurt and let down.

“Mind if I take a shower and crash?” I asked. I
was cold, wet and in a mood so vile I detested my own company.

“Sure, mate. Bathroom’s down the hall to the
left. I’ll leave some sheets and pillows on the couch for when you get out.” I
nodded gratefully before unzipping my suitcase and taking out a handful of the
toiletries I’d thrown loosely inside, and then made my way to the bathroom.

This day needed to be over. Fast.

**********

Day three of sleeping on Jared’s couch and my
neck is as stiff as fuck. Lectures start tomorrow – that should be fun
when I’m this freakin’ exhausted. At least I’ve got two nights off work so I
can chill while I get used to the whole ‘being a student’ thing. Sometimes I
wonder what the hell I’m getting myself into. I’m a twenty-four year old
freshman. That just seems wrong somehow. But it’s my fresh start – my
chance to put right some of the crap I’ve caused and make Aunt Sarah proud of
me again.

I won’t let her down. I can’t.

I’ve spent the last three days drying off my
stuff and this afternoon’s task was to iron out my clothes and pile them neatly
beside the couch out of the way. Yeah I know – I’m a domestic god. You
should smell my Apple Pie – I’m a mean baker too.

I left the apartment empty when I ran to the
store to buy food for the glossy black cupboard I’d claimed as my own in the
kitchen, but when I got home Jared was back – new piece-of-ass in tow.

“Hey, mate. You remember Emily right?”

“Sure. Hi.”

“Hi,” she mumbled nervously back, flicking her
fiery hair to the sides of her face. She was sitting next to Jared, in jeans so
mouth-wateringly tight they should be illegal, looking altogether flushed.
They’d so obviously been making out on the couch. The couch where
I
have
to sleep. Ugh.

“I’ll leave you two to it,” I said eagerly,
holding my bags of groceries in the air and planning to take them through to
the kitchen.

“No need. We’re just leaving.”

Good.

 
“Don’t
wait up,” he added with one of those disturbing winks. Seriously what guy winks
at his friends? It’s freakin’ weird.

“Wasn’t planning on,” I retorted, and then
headed to the kitchen to put the food away.

When I was done I threw a couple of cream-cheese
bagels down my throat and went about gathering my things for the morning. It
felt like the first day back at school counting my pens and notes books. I even
got myself a satchel – how cool am I? Next I made up my makeshift bed on
the couch before slipping myself under the hearts and stars comforter (which
Jared has assured me numerous times an ex-chick left behind) and flicking
through the TV channels.

Ah, Jeremy Kyle re-runs. A UK sensation filled
with what Jared calls ‘chavs’ arguing about who’s the daddy - guaranteed to
numb my brain for a couple of hours.

**********

An almighty crash and what sounded like a tussle
jolted me awake. I shot up from the couch and headed towards the noise where I
found Jared being held upright by his visibly struggling new girlfriend.
Immediately I leapt forward and took the dead weight from her, stirring Jared
from what appeared to be an alcohol induced coma.

“H-hi, hon-honey. I’m hooooome,” he slurred as
he attempted to clap me on the back but missed and ended up stroking my cheek.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t know what to do with
him,” Emily said, doubled over as she strove to regain her breath. Why was she
sorry? If the jackass decided it would be cool to drink his own body weight in
what - judging by his repulsive breath - smelt like rum, that was his own
stupid fault.

“I’ll just…” I trailed off, nodding my head
towards the end of the hall where Jared’s bedroom resided.

I dragged Jared’s sorry ass through to his room
and shoved him not so gently down onto the bed before rolling my eyes and
leaving him and his painfully irritating singing to it. When I closed the door
behind me he was massacring the chorus of There Must Be An Angel by the
Eurythmics. Where’s a tape-recorder when you need one?

“Is he okay?” Emily asked, looking genuinely
concerned when I joined her back in the hall. What, had she never seen someone
wasted before?

“He’ll be fine after twenty-four hours sleep and
a bath in some strong coffee.”

“Right,” she nodded. “Guess I’d best be off,”
she added, rifling through her purse. “Damn!”

“Something wrong?” I felt obligated to ask.

“I can’t find my wallet. I must’ve left it on
the bar or something,” she mumbled – her voice wavering as if she might
cry.

“You need some money to get home?” I assumed
that was the issue here.

“No, no,” she said while shaking her unmissable
red curls from side to side. “Actually, yeah. I suppose I do.” She bit down on
her bottom lip as she looked up at me nervously through her jet-black
(obviously fake) lashes. “I’ll pay you back of course.”

“Sure, whatever. Will a twenty cover it?” I
asked, grabbing my wallet from the pocket of my tan leather jacket which hung
on the chrome coatrack just behind me. She better had pay me back too – I
can’t afford to give to charity.

“Absolutely. You’re a lifesaver. Thank you.” She
plucked the note from my hand and then pulled out her cell to ring a cab.
Fifteen minutes the goddamn thing took to arrive. Fifteen minutes of awkward
silence with a girl who blushes more frequently than she takes a breath was
not
my idea of fun.

I had the door held open for her before the
cab’s horn had even finished sounding.

“See you around,” I muttered dutifully, eager to
get back to sleep before my first day of lectures.

“See you. And thanks again.” Slamming the door
behind her, I let out an impressive yawn and scratched my head all the way back
to the couch.

I was asleep before my ass touched the cushions.