Taking Chances (11 page)

“Better?” I asked. He threw me a nasty look, and I laughed.

“Come here,” I said, patting the wound dry and applying pressure with a clean paper towel. After the bleeding stopped, I applied triple antibiotic cream on it. His hands were rough from the work he’d put in today, and I tingled all over as I touched him. I put the gauze on and secured it with tape. “Done,” I said, looking up at him with a smile. He looked exhausted, and sweaty too, but with no running water at the moment he’d have to do with wiping himself off if that’s what he wanted. I secretly wished I could do him the favor myself, but backed away from him when I saw that familiar gleam in his eyes, remembering the plan to keep my distance.

“Thanks,” he said, his eyes expressing so much more than simple gratitude. Harvey walked right over and put his good hand behind my head, pulling me to him. It was impulsive of him, but my lips met his without a second thought. All traces of reason vanished momentarily. I tasted him, but I wanted more and grabbed at his shirt. He made to take it off, but I stopped him when my good sense returned to me. We pulled apart, my mouth open as I tried to catch my breath and still my heart, which nearly pounded out of my chest. I wanted desperately for him to touch me but…

“Our parents,” I whispered. He was as turned on as I (it was obvious from the way his shorts jutted out in front of him), but he nodded, running his uninjured hand through his hair. At that moment, the guest room door opened. We jumped away from each other, and Mrs. Garrett strutted in, cooing over her injured son. I left them and went to the back door, letting myself outside.

I tried to focus on other things, like the surrounding disaster. The backyard didn’t look much different than the rest of the tossed-about neighborhood, but I sat on a plastic chair that had dried by then. It was much cooler out here than inside, but that wasn’t saying much. The heat invaded everywhere, but with the temperature inside increasing every minute, and not a breeze to go through the house, it was getting stuffy. I didn’t notice it as much until after Harvey kissed me.

Harvey kissed me. Again. It was so mind-blowingly amazing to be kissed by him that I didn’t think I’d be able stop him a third time. I waited for my body to return to normal, but it didn’t. There was a constant buzz now that wouldn’t shut off.

After a while, all the parents joined me, and my dad turned on the barbecue to grill us the meat from the freezer before it went bad. My mom used the little stovetop on the side of the barbecue to make some mashed potatoes, using the milk she had transferred to the freezer that morning. Soon all of it would spoil, and we didn’t know how long this power outage would last. We had listened to the radio in the car that morning, but it hadn’t given us any real timing. The news was that around a million people were without power from the storm. Mrs. Garrett turned on a battery-operated radio now, and we listened to that.

I checked my phone again, and saw a few texts coming through, one of them from Laurie, who asked how we had passed the storm. I texted her back letting her know we were fine. She reported they survived the storm, but she wasn’t too sure how her kids would survive the power outage without TV. I saw Greg’s new string of texts and simply responded, “We’re OK.” I turned off my phone, trying to conserve the battery for emergencies.

Our early dinner was ready, and Mrs. Garrett went inside to wake up her son. Harvey came outside, tired yet hungry. We were all hungry, not having eaten a proper meal until now, and the sun was about to set. I watched the stunning colors in the sky melt into the broken landscape and got bummed out by the state of my life. What would I do now? Live at home with my parents in a small town trying to recover from a natural disaster? I wanted to run away from home, if that made any sense.

Instead, I excused myself and went up to my room. I searched through my drawers with a flashlight, trying to look for momentos from my childhood, but nothing remained. My mom had given it all away back when I told her I had no use for the stuff. Sure, she had some things tucked away in the attic, and of course, she had saved the pictures. Yet I wished a drawer was hidden away like a time capsule filled with concert tickets, school dance souvenirs, or notes from my high school friends. Stuff from a time when life was so much simpler. What I wouldn’t give to go back and become an angsty teen again. I’d tell myself to get over it— that I didn’t know how easy I had it back before my dad had a heart attack, before my husband cheated on me, and before I became a stay-at-home wife with no career of my own.

Who had I become? The only thing to do now was figure out who I wanted to be. All I knew was that I did not want to be the woman that came back to live with her parents after the divorce. That might be fine for some people as a stepping-stone, but I knew myself— it would become my crutch, and I’d stay stuck. I had to get out as soon as possible. These thoughts whirled through my mind as I sat alone in the darkness until a knock at the door broke into my thoughts. I sighed.

“Come in,” I said, figuring it would be my mother, worried (rightfully so) that I’d be sitting alone in the dark. It was.

“Sweetie, the Carters across the street have invited us over for a couple of hours. Come with us. There’s nothing to do here in the dark,” she said.

“No thanks, mom. I might just read by flashlight for an hour or so and then go to sleep early.”

“OK, goodbye,” she said hesitantly, gave me a kiss, and then closed the door. A few minutes later there was another knock.

“Mom, I don’t care to go anywhere,” I called out.

“It’s not your mom,” I heard Harvey’s voice. I got up and opened the door. “They left,” he said, his voice low. He was here for one thing and one thing only, and I wanted the same thing. What the hell. I leaned in for it, the inevitable kiss, and our lips met— no they collided, and then our arms surrounded each other, roaming and finally tugging at clothes.

I let him lift my shirt, revealing one of my new lacy pink bras. Without pause, he kissed my neck. I threw my head back, savoring his mouth on such a sensitive area. His lips traveled the length of my neck, up and down and then farther along to my breasts. His hands found their way behind my back, and he unclasped my bra. It had done its job, but now it lay on the floor, my breasts exposed to Harvey’s eyes. He drank me in with his sight in such a way that I felt embarrassed and even covered myself up with my shirt that had fallen on the bed.

“What are you doing?” he said, reaching for the shirt.

“Why are you staring like that?”

“Cause you’re fucking gorgeous,” he said, stepping forward and grabbing my hands. He pushed my hands and the shirt down. Then he reached up and caressed my breast, my nipple hardening from his touch. “I’ve been wondering what you look like naked, and the reality is so much better than my imagination,” he said and dropped his head towards my nipple, sucking on it. I gave a soft moan, and he reached under me, lifting me up.

I straddled his waist, and he lowered me onto the bed before taking his shirt off. I’d seen him like this before, and I’d seen him with only a towel, but still I was in awe at the muscles on his chest, how his abs seemed to flex in anticipation and then at my touch. He smiled and then swooped in to kiss me once again, our lips locked in a battle neither could win. I needed this. No, I needed
him.

Soon his hand was inching down the elastic of my yoga pants, and again I moaned as he touched me through my lace panties. I felt my wetness below, and I knew he could too. I whimpered and moved my hips beneath him. His fingers kept toying with the lace, and I almost yelled at him to rip the rest of my clothes off when he stood up and pulled off my pants and, along with them, my underwear. There I was— completely naked in front of Harvey by the light of the lantern, in my parents’ house, after a hurricane. It was surreal, and yet I’d never been more alive.

“So fucking beautiful,” he said, and then he lowered his head to my breasts once again, leaving me in a kind of ecstasy I didn’t know existed. His tongue made circles on my belly button as his hands ventured lower. I gasped when a finger slipped inside of me, finally giving me a hint of what I needed. My breath hitched. He removed his finger and lowered his head below my belly, but I panicked and lifted his head up in fear.

“I, uh... I don’t like that,” I said, still trembling from his touch.

“Why not?” He looked confused.

“I just don’t.” I didn’t want it all to stop, but I was afraid my insecurities would scare him away. He shrugged his shoulders and then came back up to kiss me.

“Do you like this?” he asked after a long kiss.

“Yes,” I said breathlessly.

“And this?” He asked as his fingers alternated between entering me and tickling every sensitive spot down there.

“Mm-hmm,” I said unable to speak. I had enough wherewithal to reach over and work on his jeans button, and he helped take them off and then his boxers. I tried not to stare, but I couldn’t help myself. Holy crap, he was
big.
I was shy about it, but when he touched me again, I reached over and put my right hand around his shaft. He closed his eyes and kissed me harder, and I began to move my hand up and down. His groan was like fuel to my fire, and I burned for him.

“I want you inside me,” I said, not sure if I actually said it out loud, but then he did just that, and I nearly died of pleasure. The way he filled me so completely, the way our eyes connected, the way he smiled down at me...

It started out slowly— each time he thrust in deeper than the last, and then he picked up the pace. I moved with him, and together we were rocking to an intoxicating rhythm. Soon I was aware of a buildup, taking short gasping breaths, and reaching the end. It was intensely glorious, the orgasm spreading throughout my body in spasms beyond my control. I cried out in rapture and then felt his own release pulsing inside me as he slowed to a halt above me. His mouth was open and a low grunt escaped him before he uttered the word, “Fuck.”

After a minute of recovery, Harvey looked down at me and kissed me. Then he fell onto the bed, pulling me towards him. We were spooning, and I was vaguely aware that we had just had unprotected sex on my childhood bed, and my parents might be home at any minute. I didn’t care. His arms around me made me feel safe— safer than I had felt in a long time, and I fell asleep.

S
omething bright was streaming
onto my face, and I opened my eyes to see light filtering through my entire window. I was sweating even though I was still naked. The room was steamy and disgustingly hot. I looked around, saw that my bed was empty, and crossed my fingers that no one had seen Harvey leave my room last night. I lay in bed reminiscing how my body had trembled under him, how my mind had shut out everything except for our lovemaking. Despite the temperature in the room, I got goosebumps thinking of him touching me the way he did the night before with those expert hands of his. How could I look him in the eye again after all the ruckus I made?

I searched for my clothes, thrown around the room, and stuffed them into the hamper. After opening my bedroom window to let fresh air inside, I put on a tank top and shorts and went downstairs in search of breakfast. My mother was organizing of the pantry, and I saw Harvey and my father outside in the yard, Harvey taking down the shutters as my dad supervised. I wonder what they were talking about. I sat down at the kitchen counter.

“How was last night?” I asked my mom, praying she didn’t ask about my evening.

“Very nice. They wanted to share their food and water with us, which was very generous, but remember we had eaten BBQ earlier. We took some water with us. You never realize how important water is until you have a limited supply. But we should be fine with everything Julie brought with her from her house. I hope their house is fine. Harvey says he’ll give it another try today.”

“I hope they can make it,” I said.

“Audrey, I hate to ask you, but the radio this morning said they’re giving out bags of ice down by the shopping center. Would you mind going over there and getting us some?” she asked. “I don’t want your father standing in the sun so long, and there will be a long line.” Boy, did I know it. I still remember from the last time the desperation of getting a couple of bags of ice and what it does to people waiting in line for hours.

“Yeah, mom. Sure.”

“I’m going to start cleaning up the yard,” she said. She was still sorting through canned foods, picking out our lunch I assumed.

“What can I eat for breakfast?” I asked, picking my hair up in a ponytail.

“Well, there’s cereal, and the milk has been sitting in the ice, which is mostly melted. But it should have kept it fresh until you bring more ice.”

“Sounds delicious,” I said grabbing a bowl. As I was finishing, my father, Mrs. Garrett, and Harvey walked in. My body betrayed me immediately, and I was afraid a blush covered my face when our eyes locked. He was sweating from the outside work, and his own face was flush from the heat. I gave him half a smile, and he returned it with full measure.

“Good morning,” he said to me. I hoped only I noticed the wink he gave me.

“Good morning— everyone,” I said. We discussed our plans for the day. Harvey and his mother were leaving soon to attempt to reach her house. My mother would work on the yard, and my father would relax and try not to let the heat overpower him, according to my mother. She suggested he give himself a sponge bath since the water was still not running. The news on the radio said it should be back by the next day, at the earliest, but a boil water warning would be in effect until further notice.

Off I went to the shopping center to get ice. Unfortunately, the line was exactly what I expected. I put on a baseball cap, sunglasses, and sunscreen, and waited for an hour to get a few bags of ice and a couple of extra water gallons. I brought my car over when it was my turn and loaded it in myself since the relief workers were busy with a handicapped woman. I recognized no one in line, which was kind of strange, and I wondered if there were people there from other towns.

As I drove away, I thought I spotted someone I would not have liked to run into, and I thanked the Lord I did not. My high school boyfriend Justin. If it were not for Greg, I might have dated Justin far longer than I should have. He was an abusive boyfriend, and my young teenage self didn’t realize it until too late. I shook my head to dispel the memories and kept driving, hoping that woman standing next to him was stronger than I was.

Upon returning to the house, I rested a few minutes after unloading everything and putting the ice bags in the freezer. After I’d cooled down, I went out back to help my mother.

“Tia Lucy says hello,” she said.

“Oh, you spoke with her?” I asked, filling a trash bag with debris.

“Yes, I hadn’t received anything from her except that text message she sent saying they were fine, but she called me a few minutes ago. They didn’t have enough plywood to cover all the windows, so a tree broke the sliding glass door to her master bedroom. They have a lot of damage in that room from the water, not to mention having to put a new door and have the tree removed. She says Jack has been out there for the past two days with a chainsaw because another tree fell on their shed. The only thing we can be thankful for is that we didn’t get hit by the tornado and that there wasn’t so much water to flood us.”

“Hopefully, the same can be said for Mrs. Garrett’s house,” I said.

Not too long after, Harvey returned and came outside to say they had news about his neighborhood. I tried to listen and show my sympathy, but really I was staring at his arms. I remembered what those strong arms could do.

“We learned that all the houses had been submerged on that street and there’s still too much water to make it down that way,” he said. “My mom’s in the guest room. She said she was going to take a nap, but she’s real bummed.”

“Well, it’s no wonder. Poor Julie. Listen, Harvey, whatever plans she wants to make for where she’ll stay are fine, but she’s invited to stay with Elton and I as long as she needs,” my mom said. I was so proud of my mom, always helping everyone.

“Thank you, Mrs. Whitman,” Harvey said, genuine in his gratitude. “I spoke to the restaurant I manage, and I have to be back on Monday morning. I’m going to see if flights are taking off yet so I can leave tomorrow. It gives me some peace of mind that my mom is safe here.”

“Of course, sweetie, you do what you have to do. I know how work can be,” she said, and Harvey looked at me and made a motion for me to follow him.

“Um, mom, I’m going to get a drink of water,” I said, walking behind him inside to the kitchen.

Once inside, I whispered, “What’s up?” He closed the door and pulled my hand until we were out of view from any window, and he drew me to him. He kissed me softly, and I responded, our lips molding together. When he ended the kiss, he put his forehead to mine and whispered, “I don’t want to leave you.” I smiled, goose bumps traveling over every inch of my skin.

“Harvey, I—” I stopped because I didn’t know what to say. What did I want to tell him? That I didn’t want him to leave either? Because I definitely didn’t, but to what end? Were we going to carry on an affair here in my parents’ house until it burned out? Impossible.

I wasn’t going back to my house. Not yet. And what would we do there anyways? Date? We were the cheated-on spouses having a little revenge sex. That’s all. Right? So what could I tell him?

“Audrey, let’s go somewhere later,” he said.

“Where? Everything is closed,” I said.

“Let’s go to the park. I’m going to clean myself up as best as I can, and we’ll go.”

“What do we tell our folks?” I asked right before he kissed me again. My mind went blank.

“Whatever. Tell them we’re visiting a mutual friend.”

“OK,” I said, melting as his hands grazed the small of my back. He let go then.

“OK,” he said and winked at me before he walked away. I leaned over the kitchen counter and put my head down on the cool granite. What the hell was I doing?

Like he’d suggested, we drove to a large park about 15 minutes from my parents’ house. I brought a blanket and sandwiches my mom had made and kept cool in the freezer. Unfortunately, when we approached the park, the gate was up.

“It’s closed,” I said, disappointed. I was looking forward to a picnic. He parked the car on a strip of grass right next to the fence. “What are you doing?”

“We’re going in.” He got out of the car.

“But it’s closed,” I said, also stepping out.

“It’s a small fence. Come on.” Harvey grabbed the blanket and bag of food from the back. He hopped over the fence with ease and helped me down when I made it over the other side.

“What if we get in trouble?” There I went, always worrying about something or other. Why couldn’t I be the free-spirit? The spontaneous one?

“I think the cops have other things to worry about than people sneaking into a park right now,” he said, holding my hand.

We followed a trail to a forested area that winded into a raised wooden boardwalk that put us up amongst the trees. We walked along that for a while, until Harvey settled on a spot, and we lay the thick blanket out.

“This is nice,” I said. “It’s very pretty. Don’t think I ever really appreciated how pretty it is until right now.”

“Me either.” He gave me one of his intense gazes.

“Harvey, what are we doing?” I asked, at last voicing my inner turmoil.

“We’re having a picnic.” He took the sandwiches and chips out of the bag, avoiding my eyes now.

“You know what I mean.”

“Right, that,” he cleared his throat. “Well, I haven’t felt this good in such a long time. Just being next to you is like a breath of fresh air.”

“That’s sweet,” I said. It’s how I felt, too.

“It’s the truth.” He proceeded to eat half the sandwich in one bite. Good thing I brought an extra one for him. I ate too, and we continued our picnic in silence. Still, I had no answers. When we were finished Harvey stood up and reached his hand out to help me stand. He walked us over to the tree canopy, a verandah keeping us from falling to the ground. His arms encircled me from behind as I faced out into the woods. I closed my eyes and breathed in the fresh pine scent, forgetting all about soon-to-be-exes and hurricanes. He kissed my head, and I turned around to look at him.

Whatever we were doing, it did feel good, like he’d said. He leaned into me and we were kissing again. We kissed so well, it was becoming my favorite thing to do. Soon we were on the blanket, getting much more heated, his hands touching me everywhere over my clothes. He played with the bottom of my shorts and spread my legs until his fingers found my panties. Within seconds, he pushed those aside, and he plunged a finger into me, and then two. I threw my head back in ecstasy, trying not to be so loud as the night before, but I couldn’t help the soft moans that escaped my lips.

He kissed my neck and with his other hand and pulled down my shirt and bra to expose my breast, which he sucked on while his fingers continued to drive me to oblivion. I was holding on to his head, running my fingers through his hair and down his neck until he came up for another kiss. I pushed him off and took off his shirt. He pulled mine over my head, and we finished undressing. I had barely slipped off my underwear when he straddled me on top of him. He leaned back on one arm, and with the other, he positioned himself and pulled me onto him. I shut my eyes as he buried himself deep inside.

My fingers dug into his back while I adjusted to the sensation that tore through me. I rocked back and forth on top of him, guiding us to a state of nothingness where only the sense of touch existed. We were breathless and out of our minds from the impending orgasms, which spread through me like wildfire. I couldn’t hold the sound in this time, and I cried out in ecstasy. He laid back, his eyes closed, and I fell on top of him, kissing his face and neck.

“You’re so incredible,” he said, catching his breath.

“You’re only saying that because I gave you revenge sex,” I said, letting the truth slip out. I hadn’t intended to be so blunt, but there you had it.

“Revenge sex?” he said, sitting up. “Is this revenge sex to you?”

I sat up too, tensing up, and pulled my bra and shirt on. “I mean, revenge sex, or rebound sex, or sex to get everything off our minds, whatever you want to call it. Are you upset?” I asked, seeing his face change. He almost looked angry. He stood up and put his shorts on.

“Harvey? This is why I asked what we were doing. I wanted to know what you thought we were doing,” I said, as I put on my sandals. He was already packing up our trash.

“Audrey, if this is just revenge sex, then I thank you for it, I guess. But, no, that’s not what this is for me,” he started walking back towards the car.

“Harvey! Don’t walk away,” I said. He stopped and turned around. I continued, “I like you a lot, obviously. I like doing that with you. But what else can this be? We’re not even divorced yet. I recently had a miscarriage with my husband who I was— and maybe still am— in love with. This can’t be anything else but revenge sex.”

“I get it,” he said with a sigh. He didn’t sound angry anymore, but I read the disappointment in his face.

“You’re angry with me?” I asked. I couldn’t stand it if he remained upset with me.

He walked back over to me, and kissed me, but it was a quick peck, unlike any other kiss he’d given me. “No,” he said, and we walked back to the car, this time not holding hands. The drive back was quiet, and I was sad that things had changed between us. What did he want from me? I wasn’t ready to be anyone’s girlfriend.

We got to my mom’s house, and there was a car in front. It wasn’t my Aunt Lucy’s beat up minivan, and a neighbor wouldn’t drive over when they’d simply walk. I approached the front door with a hint of anxiety. When we walked inside I stopped short, seeing that my father was coming from the kitchen, and behind him, my husband.

“What are you doing here, Greg?” I spit out, an unknown rage building inside me. How dare he invade my only place of sanctuary?

“I wanted to make sure you were alright,” he said, keeping his distance. He looked behind me at Harvey, his face darkening.

“I texted you telling you I was fine,” I said. I looked past him at my dad, “Why did you let him in here?”

“He says you two haven’t had a chance to talk, and I think every marriage, even a broken one, deserves a conversation, Audrey. Don’t you?” he said. My dad, always quiet, picked now to speak up.