Taking Chances (Blackrock Book 2) (14 page)

My
mind shoots all different thoughts around but I eventually settle on
one; the girl I’m holding in my arms who is crying so quietly
she sounds like a newborn kitten. I smooth her wet hair off of her
shoulders and wipe the tears with my thumb. Her body trembles either
from being cold or from the pain of whatever dream she was having.

“Let’s
get you dressed, darlin’.”

Putting
her down, I grab her clothes from the floor. She doesn’t have
any clean stuff here so I grab a new pair of boxers and t-shirt from
the drawer for her. I want to talk to her so badly about all the
things I have been feeling lately but the pain in her eyes sticks the
words in my throat.

“You
hungry?” I ask, needing to do something to make her feel
better.

She
wipes her face with the towel and blows out a breath. “Not
really. What time is it?” she answers as her eyes loose all
traces of pain; that emotional guard is back in them.

“It’s
just after six. I have pizza.” I smile taking, her hand and
walking into the kitchen. She sits in the chair and the wood protests
its age. “Hey how about on Saturday we go shopping for a few
things for this place?” I ask, putting two slices of pizza in
the microwave.

She
just shrugs, looking down at the table. My heart thumps in my chest
with an emotion I can’t quite grasp. I want to take her pain
away and make her feel better, but I don’t know how and I
really don’t know if my love is enough.

Bailey

Watching
Knox make pizza from the corner of my eye, I can see he is stressed
out by the tenseness of his shoulders. Although his voice is soft and
caring, I think I may have freaked him out a little. It’s been
a while since I had a nightmare about that night, the night I found
Summer, but it came back and rocked me to the core. I don’t
want to close my eyes again for fear it will return,

“How
come you let me sleep until now?” I ask my voice rough from
sleep.

“I
just got back.” Knox smiles at me, putting my pizza and soda in
front of me. He takes the chair opposite and watches me.

“So
what did you want to talk about?” I ask, looking for anything
to take my mind off of that dream.

Knox
frowns. “It’s okay, we can talk tomorrow.”

Shaking
my head no, I bite my pizza. “No lets do it do now. Like a band
aid, right?”

He
looks confused. “What do you mean?”

Sighing,
I finish the food in my mouth as he waits for an explanation. “Just
get it done quickly like a ripping off a band aid.”

Knox
laughs at me and his eyes shine bright behind his thick dark lashes.
“Darlin’, me telling you my feelings may be worse than
ripping off a band aid.”

With
that one sentence I loose my appetite and my stomach clenches so bad
I feel, ill. “Okay, speak now or forever hold your peace,”
I say, drinking my soda.

Knox
smiles at me. “I like that.”

“Okay,
so the other day outside the bar you got me thinking about us and
what’s going on between us. I do love you darlin’, but I
don’t know if it’s good enough or if it’s what
you’re looking for.” He shrugs looking at me.

My
mouth hangs agape trying to comprehend what he just said.

“I
am sorry for going off on you but I was just so angry at someone and
you happened to step into the firing zone. And as far as your love,”
I sigh as my palms begin to sweat, “it is enough for me. In
fact it’s more than I deserve,” I say hanging my head
because I don’t deserve him or his love. I have been a pain in
the ass since I got here.

“Look
I’m sorry about today too. I didn’t mean I regret falling
in love with you. I just think I regret coming here in such a mess
and falling so hard and so fast without giving me or you a chance to
really get to know me or fix myself.” Jesus this is so hard. I
don’t want to loose the only person who I consider as close to
me as Summer was. Not even Roger knows me that well.

Knox
watches me for a few minutes as I argue within myself. Reaching
across the table, he interlaces his fingers with mine.

“Okay,
then we will get to know each other better and you deserve my love
and much more, darlin’. I just hope I’m the person who
can give it to you,” he says rubbing his thumb across my
knuckles.

“I
thought we did that already.” I smile, remembering our outings
to the secret mountain spot.

He
shrugs. “We can do it again but first you need to move in here
to OUR apartment.” He pulls his lips into a tight line waiting,
but I can’t. It’s too much, too soon.

“Can
I think about it for a few days?”

His
eyes lose their shine as he shrugs, letting my hand go. “Sure
darlin whatever you want.”

I
know I have just hurt him but I can’t just move in with him,
can I?

.”I
have to meet with my dad tomorrow so I better get going.” I
stand up, picking up my plate and glass walking to the sink.

Knox
looks at me with wary suspicion. “Yeah is he home then?”

Shaking
my head, I wipe my hands on a napkin. “No, just for tomorrow.
He has a business dinner then he flies to New York; he never stops
working.” I smile thinking how much I miss him. I only got him
back but I have rarely seen him over the last seven months.

“Okay,
darlin’. See you tomorrow.” He walks me to the door,
standing half behind it as he rests his hand above his head holding
it open. I lean in to kiss him but he turns his face so I get his
cheek.

Lifting
my hand, I place it on his face. “Don’t do that to me.”
My voice cracks as I step away from him and run down the stairs.

By
the time I reach my car, my emotions are all jumbled up angry, sad,
hopeful but most of all hurt. He didn’t have to do that just
because he didn’t get his own way. Putting my seatbelt on, my
door opens and I jump with fright. Knox leans down putting his hand
on the back of my head and crushing his lips to mine. Kissing me like
never before, all his emotions pouring out in that one kiss as his
tongue explores mine. Both of us speak a wordless language, kissing
deeper and harder until our lips hurt. Pulling back, he rests his
forehead against mine.

“You
drive me crazy, Bailey, but I love you..So fuckin much…it
hurts,” he whispers. I release my seatbelt turning so I can
wrap my arms around him. “I won’t loose you, darlin’.
I’ll keep coming back for more.”

“You’re
not loosing me, Knox. I just need time to think, okay? I promise we
are good.”

Raising
his head, he plants a soft kiss on my lips. “Promise we’ll
be alright?” I nod as fierceness tightens my chest. “Okay,
call me when you get home.”

Sliding
into the car, I watch him wave as I pull out onto the main road.

*****

Watching
the moon, shine through my window keeps me occupied long enough to
keep my thoughts at bay. Knox stayed on the phone for about an hour
mostly talking about school and taking me shopping on Saturday. My
ears heard him but I wasn’t listening. By the time we hung up I
had another shower before climbing into bed, and began my fixation on
the moon trying not to fall to sleep back into those dreams that pull
at my heart and cause me to tumble down the rabbit hole I so
desperately climbed out of. But my eyes are heavy and my emotions are
battling for preference. Closing my eyes, I allow the darkness to
suck me under again.

“
Hey
Brad, can you put those balloons on the door handle?” I ask
handing him a bunch of pink helium filled balloons. Skipping into
Summer’s bedroom, I smile as I hear the music coming from the
bathroom. I am happy that I can surprise my friend and hopefully get
her back so we can plan our lives Together. “Bails,” I
hear her calling me so I tap on the door. “Hey Summer, did you
call me?” I don’t get an answer so I tap again but am
greeted again with quiet. Turning around, I tie the balloons to her
bedposts. I let the rest float to the ceiling grinning like a clown.
I knock on the bathroom door again, louder this time. Putting my hand
on the handle, I push down and the door swings open. It takes a
minute for my brain to comprehend what my eyes are seeing. Screams
rip from my throat as tears blur my eyes. Running, running with my
arms out stretched toward her but I can’t reach her. Summer! I
cry running but she moves away. Further and further away. My screams
echo in the empty room and she is gone……

Flailing
in bed, I wrestle to get the blankets off of me as I tumble onto the
floor. Landing on my back, hot tears course down my cheeks as I lie
there still; the only movement is the rise and fall of my chest. My
heart physically hurts. I don’t know what is going on anymore,
why am I dreaming again? Why can’t my mind let me be? Rolling
onto my side, I raise myself up onto my knees grabbing my phone to
check the time. Two in the morning. I slump back against the bed,
drawing my knees up and resting my cheek on top of them as I try to
calm myself down.

With
some effort I stand on shaking legs and pack a bag. Slipping on my
sandals, I walk down the stairs and out to my car. I arrive at the
apartment fifteen minutes later, not sure why I even came here. The
parking lot is deserted as I look around. Climbing out of the car I
grab my backpack and bag of clothes, only now do I realize I am
wearing my Nickleback t-shirt and sandals nothing else. I walk fast
to the building and up the stairs. Opening the door of the apartment,
I see the bedroom light is on. I walk over and push the door but the
room is empty, so I walk into the kitchen where I find Knox sitting
at the table wearing only jeans and reading a book. His head snaps up
when he feels my presence. He takes in my t-shirt and shoes and
smirks at me.

“Nice
outfit darlin’.”

I
look down at myself still holding my bags. “Yeah I guess I
forgot a few things.”

He
walks over to me, taking my stuff and putting it on the table then
wraps his arms around me. “You okay?”

“No,”
I whisper, squeezing him closer to me.

Taking
my face in his hands, he smiles at me. “Let’s go to bed.”

Nodding,
we walk into the bedroom and he takes off my sandals. He allows me
into bed first then climbs in behind me, wrapping me in his embrace
and kissing my temple until I fall asleep, again.

My
alarm shrills at seven o’clock, waking me up from a deep sleep.
The bed is empty and I hear the shower. I follow the sound of singing
and smile to myself as Knox showers, and sings his heart out. Pulling
off my t-shirt, I open the bathroom door. The shower curtain blows in
the draft as I twist my hair up on top of my head. Knox reaches out a
hand without saying anything. Placing mine in his, I step behind the
curtain to find a grinning Knox standing and looking down at me.

“Mornin
darlin’.” He winks then continues to sing as he rubs
small circles of shower gel over my shoulders.

I
smile as I listen to him sing one of Mumford & son’s songs.
He turns me around and using his hands he rubs shower gel over my
back and shoulders. Just the touch of his hands on my shoulders makes
me sag against him, feeling the tension dissipate.

“Darlin’,
you’re wound tighter than a clock,” he says in a low
voice close to my ear.

His
hands slide around my stomach, pushing my ass flush with his
hardness., Kissing my neck, his hand moves lower teasing me as he
cups my breast with the other hand.

“I
have class,” I whisper but he is not fazed. His hand slips
between my legs as he moves slowly. Dipping his fingers inside of me,
a moan of pleasure escapes me as I close my eyes.

My
pleasure is stolen all to quickly as Knox wraps his hand around my
midsection gently pushing my shoulders forward so I am bent over.
Bending his knees he enters me from behind, both of us moaning. His
thrusts are slow and steady as he braces his free hand against the
wall in front of me. I put my hand on top of his, linking our fingers
as he rocks harder inside of me. His fingers slide between my
sensitive flesh again, pushing me over the edge. I call out his name
as my knees weaken and threaten to buckle under the release. Knox
grips my waist again as he thrusts harder two more times finding his
own release.

Leaning down he rests his chest
against my back and kisses my neck softly. “Best shower ever,”
he teases, pulling me up as he slides out of me. He pulls the shower-
head out of its cradle and rinses both of us off before turning the
water off. Stepping out I watch him wrap a towel around his waist and
hold his hand out to me. Deciding I want to be playful, I step onto
the ledge of the bath and jump onto his waist, locking my ankles
behind him. He cups my ass and smiles. “Love you darlin’.”
Smiling back I nip his bottom lip as he wraps a towel around my
shoulders. “Someone want’s to miss class today.” He
raises his eyebrow at me as I walk into the bedroom.

“I
can’t. I have to meet Ryan for our project.” He nods,
lowering me onto the bed. “Why are you up early? You don’t
have class until this afternoon.”

He
kisses me again; slipping his tongue inside my mouth groaning then
pulls away.

“Things
to do; people to see,” he says cryptically smiling down at me.

I
watch him leave the room and get dressed. I pull on my black dress
with the swing skirt and do my hair and makeup then hunt around for
my sandals that Knox threw over his shoulder last night. Walking into
the kitchen gets me a wolf whistle and I twirl.

“Why
are you dressed up for school?” he asks, smiling at me and puts
a coffee into my hands.

“I
told you I’m meeting my dad today” he makes an “O”
with his mouth. “You didn’t believe me?” I smirk at
him.

“No, I didn’t. I
thought you were going to avoid me today.” He hands me a
grilled cheese for breakfast and I frown. “I need to go grocery
shopping.” he shrugs then pulls out a bottle of ranch from the
fridge for me.