Taking Passion by Storm (6 page)

What
the hell was she doing working in an office for a high school? Not that it
wasn’t honest work, but there was talent and passion deep inside this girl. He
longed to reach in and find it, then nurture it. At the same time, from the way
Lee kept cutting his gaze from her to Addison, he also realized his
long-standing desire for Nadine would have to wait for now.

This
wasn’t the time or place to do anything about it. It was his own damn fault for
waiting so long, but he’d just have to deal with it now. They were here to find
her father, and he couldn’t let his hormones get in the way of that. Backing
off before that earlier near-kiss went any further was the right thing to do.

Chapter
Six

Nadine
was grateful for the questions about her father, but when the conversation
steered toward the job she’d held for almost seven years, she gave
non-committal answers in the hope they’d all change the subject. She couldn’t
help noticing that Addison watched her closely. Was that because he was curious
about what she needed to tell him, or was there another reason?

What
he’d said to her earlier reverberated in her mind, setting off alarm bells and
sending her arousal to heights it hadn’t gone near in over four years. How
could one man cause such a dichotomy within a person’s brain? She was both
attracted to him and fearful of allowing that attraction to take root.

Would
telling him her secret help, or would she soon wish she’d stayed behind
underground, safe in the cocoon she’d built? No. It would have killed her to
wait for news of her father. But how was this any better? She was stuck in this
bunker for a few days with not only Addison, but the creepy Lee who had caught
Addison about to kiss her.

Lee’s
stupid grin taunted her, but she wasn’t afraid of him. Rather, he reminded her
of a teen who lived to tease everyone because he didn’t know how else to
interact with people. She noticed that the others didn’t include him in
conversation as much, and she caught Addison giving him guarded looks more than
once. Addison had hand-picked this team, or so he’d said, so he must trust Lee.

When
they all finished lunch, she was ready to volunteer to help clean up, but
Addison pulled her aside. “Let’s talk now.” He looked more anxious than she
felt. The poor guy must have been wondering what she wanted to tell him all
during the meal.

He
took her into one of the bedrooms near the back of the complex where it looked
as though he’d already stashed his gear. “This is the room I use when we come
here. Have you chosen one yet?”

She
shook her head. All her things were still in a pile in the main room, along
with the things everyone else had simply dumped there.

“
The ones back here are the quietest.”

“
Thanks for the heads-up.” She glanced around. At least
this one had a chair to sit on, but Addison chose it before she could, so she
took a seat on the bed and faced him. “I guess I need to just get this out.”
She was suddenly nauseous, but she forced that away. This had to be done.

“
Is it really that difficult to tell me?”

“
Yes. I’ve never told anyone. Not even my father
knows.” Not quite true. She’d told Brenda and countless police officers, plus
the DA and a couple of her assistants. But she’d never told other coworkers,
friends, or family.

He
leaned forward slightly. “This sounds serious.”

Where
should she even start? Nadine took several deep breaths and let her mind wander
back. She could do this. “They hired a new custodian at
NorthWest
high school just over four years ago. I don’t say his name, and I don’t name
the city where he’s incarcerated. Because I gave the police so many details,
they were able to link him to—”

Addison
held up a hand. “Whoa. Hold on a second. Police? Nadine, what did this guy do?”

She
let out a shaky breath. Addison Carlyle wasn’t a man who liked to wait through
details. “He raped me.” Just saying it was so damn liberating
she
almost cried. The last time she’d said it out loud had
been four years ago. This had been the right decision. She knew that now.

Addison’s
jaw dropped. “Oh … oh my God. Oh, Nadine.” He shocked the hell out of her by
moving next to her on the bed and pulling her into his arms. It happened so
fast she had no time to get freaked out by it, but she didn’t flinch or try to
pull away. The truth was that it felt pretty damn good to be held and comforted
like this. “I’m so sorry. I never imagined it was anything like that.”

He
pulled away and looked into her eyes. “Why didn’t you tell anyone?”

“
Well, by not telling anyone I mean family or friends.
I told the police, and of course Brenda Washington, the school principal. They
were able to link him to multiple rapes across the country and there wasn’t
even a trial. He pled guilty and is in jail.”

“
For how long?” His voice was tense.

“
Twenty-five years, but he gets no parole hearings.”

Addison’s
gaze turned hard. “That isn’t good enough for a fucking scumbag like that. What
can I do?”

“
You’re doing it,” she said quietly. “You’re
listening.”

He
shook his head. “It’s not enough. Did you see a doctor?”

“
Yes. That’s why they had DNA and were able to track
down all the other crimes.”

“
Did any of his victims come forward?”

“
A few did initially, but he …” She sighed. “Most were
too afraid because he threatened them just like he did me.”

“
What did he threaten to do to you?”

“
He knew everything about me. That was his MO. He’d
change his name, get a job where he could dig into records and watch his
intended victims, and then because by the time he … he attacked them, he knew
so much about them, he was able to threaten them. He told me he’d find my
father and kill him if I said anything, but that idiot didn’t know my father.”

“
I take it that your mother wasn’t listed in your
personnel records, then?”

She
shook her head. “No point in doing that.”

“
Does she even know your dad is missing?”

“
I left her a voice mail message and sent a couple of
emails. No response.” She already knew that Addison was well acquainted with
the history of Wendy and her father, and that was fine with her. It saved her
from having to relay the story again.

“
You said this was four years ago.”

“
That’s right.” He looked like he wanted to say
something else, but it was clear he was either debating whether to bring up the
subject, or having difficulty choosing his words. She decided to put him out of
his misery. “No, I haven’t had sex with anyone since then. I wasn’t a virgin
before, but I’d had limited experience. Let me rephrase that. I’d had sex with
one boy, one time before that.”

Her
face burned, and she had to avert her gaze. It was the bluntest, most intimate
comment she’d ever made to any man about her personal life. Why the hell was
she spilling her guts to Addison? She’d known him all her life but had never
had such a personal conversation with him. What was it about him that allowed
her to trust him so much now, of all times? Was it because of the
circumstances, or had she felt this way all along and never realized it?

“
It must be very difficult for you to trust anyone.”

She
met his gaze because the tone of his voice was so tender it surprised her. Who
was this guy? She’d been so wrong all these years. His earlier confession came
back to her. Did he regret it now? “Not you, for some reason. I’m not sure why
that is, but I feel as if I can tell you anything.”

The
way his face softened, and the look of delight in his dark eyes sent her heart
pounding. This time, she wasn’t afraid. All she felt was profound relief at
finally saying the words to someone other than Brenda or one of the countless
officers and attorneys she’d spoken with all those years ago.

Someone
else knew.
Finally.
He hadn’t judged
or admonished her for not telling her father. Instead he’d asked if there was
anything he could do. No wonder her father had always spoken highly of Addison.
Now she could understand why he admired the man so much.

“
You have no idea how happy I am to hear that,” he
said. “Only I wish I hadn’t told you what I did earlier. In light of this, it
seems insensitive.”

So
he
was
thinking about that. “It’s
not. You couldn’t have known.”
And it’s
time I moved on.
Could she say that to him? More importantly, could she
allow herself to do that, finally? Was it really possible? She wasn’t even sure
she knew how.

“
None of my business, but did you see anyone afterward
to talk about the rape?”

“
You mean a therapist? I’ve been seeing one for four
years, for all the good it’s done me.”

He
frowned. “Why hasn’t it helped?”

“
I wish I knew. I’ve been taught visualization
techniques, told it would take time, and been offered medication, which I’ve
refused. I wish I knew what else to do.”

“
Are you able to talk about the details?”

She
sighed. “I haven’t talked about them in years. We talk about my fears, my
nightmares, and my inability to let myself get close to anyone.”

He
nodded slowly as if realizing something for the first time. “If you want to get
the details out now, I’m here to listen.”

“
Why do you want to know them?”

“
I don’t, but it might help you to verbalize them.”

She’d
heard that so many times, and now realized those who had said it to her were
only trying to help, as Addison was. Maybe it was time to let someone in that
far? She could always stop if things got too frightening for her. “Where should
I start?”

“
Where did it happen?”

“
In one of the classrooms. I was there early one
evening working on end of semester grades, and he was the only other person in
the building. I knew who he was, of course, but had no reason to fear being
alone with him. He came into the office and asked me to come into one of the
classrooms. He said he’d found bloody pads in a corner, along with evidence of
who might have put them there.”

“
Pads?”

“
Like girls wear when they’re on their periods. He
didn’t want to touch them, and he said he wanted a witness to the evidence of
who might have left them there in case anyone challenged him on what he’d
found.”

“
Sounds legit.”

“
Yes. Exactly. He knew I wouldn’t have any reason to
doubt his story, so of course I went with him.” She closed her eyes for a
second or two. She could do this. “He locked the door behind us, and then he
was on me before I could do anything. I was so damn scared, and I remember
fighting like crazy through the fear, but he tied my wrists with my own clothes
and slapped me…”

She
stopped as panic, hot and fast, like someone had just poured lava into her
veins, spread through her. Addison pulled her close again and held her. “It’s
all right. You don’t have to continue if you don’t want to.”

“
No. I want to get this out. All of it.” She pictured
the details as she always tried to now, a black wisp circling in the air. In
her mind, she held out her hands and scooped the mist into them, then pictured
herself standing on the shore of the ocean.

“
I’m right here. Take your time.”

“
Thank you. Just give me a second.” Nadine closed her
eyes again. In her mind, the ocean always looked as blue and peaceful as she
remembered it. She tossed the mist into it, and it disappeared in the water,
where it could never do anyone harm again.

“
What can I do?” he asked gently.

“
I’m all right. Honestly.” The mere act of holding him
and absorbing his warmth and strength soothed the demons back enough that she
was able to continue. “He slapped me so hard I thought he’d broken my jaw. The
pain was searing. I almost passed out, and then when he … when he forced
himself inside me, I tried to remember everything because I knew I was not
going to let him get away with this. I was so afraid, but at the same time I
was so damn
angry
. That this … this
pig
would have the nerve to do this to
me.”

He
pulled away and looked into her eyes. “You are your father’s daughter, after
all.”

“
Yes. Yes, I am. When he finished, he stood up and
laughed. He
laughed
at me, lying
there, tied up with my own damn clothes. He said if I told anyone he’d find my
father and kill him. He had so many details about me that he rattled off. It
was obvious he’d read my personnel file in the office. He said no one would
believe me that it had been rape because he’d tell them it was consensual, and
that I’d stayed after hours on purpose to wait for him to come into work.”

Addison
didn’t say anything. She watched the muscles in his jaw twitch, and saw his
eyes flash with anger. Nadine knew in that instance if he had known about the
rape immediately afterward, even if they hadn’t been dating,
that man
never would have made it to
prison. Addison would have killed him. She saw that on his face, and it gave
her courage to keep going.

“
Then he untied me and left. I heard his shoes on the
floor in the hallway, and I heard the doors at the end that led to the parking
lot slam shut. I lay there for a long time. I don’t know how long. I’d … I had
wet myself at some point. When I finally got up, I realized he’d taken the
condom with him, but there was something that looked like skin under my
fingernails, and dried blood on my bra. It could have been mine, but if it
wasn’t, I realized I had DNA from him. I knew I had to touch nothing, clean
nothing, and get someone in authority there as soon as possible.”