Tell Me Why (11 page)

Chapter Fourteen

Caleb-

It sucks that I’m the bartender tonight,
I thought, as I dried the glasses, stacking them for easy access when we got busy.
I’d much rather be on the other side of the bar after today.

Weariness seeped through me, as if someone had pulled a plug in the bottom of my feet and all my emotion and energy had swirled out down the drain. Danica wasn’t any better
; my dad was still an ass, and then, hearing Anna say she’d been accepted to a great school in California, hadn’t done me any good either.

Anna had become everything to me
; I was smart enough to recognize that. Like a preserver in a swelling sea, I’d taken to hanging onto her for my very life. She was the one bright ray of hope in my world of madness.

And you don’t deserve her
.
My inner voice chastised again, but I shoved it quickly down. I was lying to Anna to protect her. Surely that outweighed my deceitfulness.

Lying wasn’t something I was a stranger to. I’d
lied to myself and to past girlfriends regarding my feelings for Anna for a while. My conscience pricked at me now, though, because Anna was special. She was the one person I never wanted to lie to. The truth be told, I wished, at times, I could tell her everything. My heart was being torn to pieces and my personal grief over Jessi’s death went far beyond what anyone else knew. There was no one I could talk to about it. Yes, I knew drinking wasn’t going to fix anything, but her personal betrayal toward
me
, the one thing no one knew about, was slowly eating me away. Drinking jumbled all those thoughts into a whirl of oblivion. It numbed me—if only for a short while—and made my pain bearable.

Except for when I was with Anna. Being with her made me dream of happy futures filled with beautiful moments. I trusted her, knowing she always had my best interests at heart. She was everything I ever wanted.

A shapely blonde sat down at the bar. “Can I get a vodka and cranberry juice, Caleb?” I recognized her immediately as having been here before. For the life of me, I couldn’t remember her name; but I definitely remembered the way she’d dragged me into the cleaning closet and how her plump lips felt around my—.

Yanking my thoughts back to the present, I smiled. “Sure thing. How are you tonight?”

“Great, I hope,” she replied, biting at her lower lip.

Glancing around, it was still early enough that the bar was basically dead
; and I found myself wishing there were more patrons. There was no doubt in my mind she was here for a repeat performance. If there was one thing I’d learned well in my line of work, it was how to read a horny woman. One look at her ultra short, low cut red dress and spiked heels revealed plenty. She wanted to be noticed tonight.

It was no secret I liked women
; and, in the past, I never turned down the opportunity for a little action—unless I had a steady girlfriend that I was really into. Physically, I always tried to be faithful to whomever I was with; but mentally, Anna had been on my mind a lot. Things were different now though.

As I mixed the drink, I found myself trying to figure out a way to keep this from becoming an awkward situation. There was no way I’d ever cheat on Anna—physically or mentally. She was everything I’d ever wanted and I was already walking the wire of deception with her. I definitely wasn’t going to consider anything else that would mess it up.

“Here you go,” I said with a smile, setting the drink in front of her. “Do you want to pay as you go or run a tab?” I asked, grabbing a towel to wipe away a few wet spots.

“Oh, I think I’ll stay for a bit
; so run me a tab,” she answered with a wink, wrapping her bright red lips around the small straw as she looked me over hungrily. “How’ve you been?”

“Pretty great,” I answered. No one wanted to hear the bartender
’s problems. Customers simply wanted to spill their own.

“Really?” She smiled as she twirled a piece of her wavy hair around her fingers. “And what’s got you in such a great mood?”

Here was the perfect opening I needed. “That would be my amazing new girlfriend.” I responded with a grin. “She rocks my world.”

Score. Her face fell. “Oh, that’s cool.” It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out she didn’t mean a word of it. “So
, are you two pretty serious then?” And there was attempt number two, digging to see if I’d be willing to cheat.

I nodded. “Things are looking good so far. I plan on asking her to move in with me as soon as she graduates.”

“Wow, a college graduate. That’s impressive.”

I laughed. “No, high school actually, but she’s eighteen already.”

She raised her eyes in surprise. “How’d a high school girl manage to land you?” Attempt number three: Make the current girlfriend seem less than deserving. I knew this game so well.

“She’s been one of my best friends almost my whole life. At some point it developed into something else. I’m not sure exactly when it happened, but I’m crazy in love with her.”

“That’s awesome. Hey, you know what? I remembered I’m supposed to meet a friend somewhere. I guess I’ll pay for this after all.”

Game. Set. Match. A perverse sense of satisfaction washed over me. I en
joyed knocking her down a notch for some reason, probably because of her veiled attempt to discredit Anna.

“No problem,” I replied, taking her credit card and discreetly glancing at the name. Erika Lindsey. I rang up the transaction and slid the receipt over for her to sign.

“It was nice seeing you again, Erika.” Not. “Hope you have a terrific night.”

“You too
.” She finished signing. “Good luck with the new girlfriend.”

“Thanks.” I didn’t bother watching her leave, instead taking her nearly untouched
drink and disposing of it. The door opened again and a bunch of rowdy college age guys entered, heckling Erika as they passed by.

“Leaving already?” one of them called. “I just got here, baby.”

She laughed, glancing briefly toward me. “I’m supposed to go meet a friend.”

“Is your friend a girl?”
his friend asked.

“And is she as hot as you?”
Another piped up.

Erika blushed and nodded her head.

“Call her and tell her to come meet you here.”

Erika glanced at me again and I simply smiled, turning my back to her, but continuing to watch the scene unfold in the mirror behind the shelves of bottles.

“Okay,” she replied, reaching to dig into her small handbag for her phone.

Her reply was met with whoops of glee and
, before long, she was seated on a lap and one of the preppies was rubbing a hand against her bare leg. It looked like Erika was going to get lucky after all; and, with the attention she was getting from the group, I was betting it would be more than once.

The door
opened again and I glanced over, surprised to see Anna walking in. She was dressed in a pair of faded, skin tight, shredded jeans. Her black shirt, bunched tight around her tiny waist but loose on the top, dipped casually off one shoulder, revealing a creamy expanse of skin. Small mismatched black leather bands were jumbled together on her wrists, matching her black leather shoes. Swaying loosely down her back, her long hair looked sleek and perfect. Even her dark eyes sparkled in the dim light. A small smile curved her lips as she noticed me and headed my way. It amazed me how, without even trying, she managed to light the entire place up.

“Hey, sweetheart,” one of the guys with Erika called out. “You want to join us?”

Anna paused, glancing over her shoulder. “No, thank you.” She responded politely.

Immediately, I stepped around the bar, going to meet her. “Sorry. This girl’s with me,” I said, staking my claim on her as I dropped my mouth to hers for a quick kiss. “What are you doing here?” I asked, noticing over Anna’s shoulder that Erika
was staring at us with a frown. Grabbing Anna’s hand, I led her away to the bar. “I’ll be right with you guys,” I called to the group at the table.

“Take your time,” the guy with Erika on his lap said.

“You sounded down when we spoke on the phone earlier, so I thought I’d come see if I could lift your spirits,” Anna said.

“Well, it worked,” I
bent to kiss her lips lightly again. “How long can you stay?”

“As long as you want—or at least until the last ferry. I do have school tomorrow.”

Hugging her close to me, I whispered in her ear. “I say you stay all night and catch the early morning ferry back home for school.”

Laughing against my shirt, she shook her head. “What am I going to do with you?”

Kissing the top of her hair, I pulled away and made my way around the bar. “I can think of plenty of things you could do with me,” I said as she took a seat on the barstool across from me.

She rolled her eyes and sighed. “I’m sure you can.”

“Don’t roll your eyes at me. You know you’d enjoy every bit of it.” I smiled wickedly at her.

“Do I now? You know I don’t really have anything to compare it to. How will I know if you’re any good
?”

The smile dropped from my face. “You’ll know. I promise,” I replied seriously.

She grew serious too. “And how will I know if I’m any good?”

Leaning over the bar, I stared her in the eye
s. “You don’t need to worry. I’ll teach you everything you could possibly want to know.”

“Okay,” she replied breathlessly,
a blush stealing heavily across her face.

“Miss?” I said to her as I straightened. “I need to see your ID.”

She laughed and reached into her pocket, sliding her fake ID across the bar toward me. Picking it up, I pretended to study it carefully, gazing back and forth between her and the picture.

“Damn, you’re beautiful. Has anyone ever told you that?” She blushed again
, and I handed it back to her. “Think about what you’re having while I go check on these guys over at the table. You and I have some things to talk about. Be right back.”

She nodded and I made my way over to the table. “What’s everyone having tonight?”

“Miller.”

“Lots of Miller
.” Another added.

“From the tap.”

“A pitcher of Miller then?” I asked and everyone nodded except for Erika. “What about you?” I asked.

“I’ll stick with the cranberry and vodka
, for now,” she replied.

“Put it on my tab,” the guy underneath her
offered.

“Got it. Anything else I can get you guys?”

“Any other hot babes that come in here.” One of them chuckled.

Laughing, I nodded. “I’ll be sure to let any I see know
that you’re interested.”

“Even that one?”
The guy nodded toward Anna.

Forcing my smile to remain relaxed, I shook my head. “Sorry
, I don’t share. She’s all mine.”

“Well, damn. I figured it didn’t hurt to ask.”

Turning away, I went back to the bar to fill their drinks.

“Are you all right?” Anna asked with a puzzled look. “You seem angry.”

“Those guys asked me if they could party with you. I’m trying to refrain from the urge to beat them all to a pulp.”

A loud giggle escaped her. “Pipe down
, tough boy. I’m not going anywhere—even if they did ask.”

“Be careful. I don’t want them hitting on you.”

“You forget I work in a bar too. I know how to handle drunk idiots.”

“Sorry, I’m just feeling a little possessive tonight.”

“How come?”

“I think your news about C
al State rattled me a bit. I can’t help but think you should pursue this great opportunity; but you won’t, because I’m holding you back. It’s not fair of me to do that to you. I want you to be able to live your dreams.”

Reaching her hand across the bar, she placed it on my arm, stilling me. “I
am
living my dream, Caleb. I’m singing in a band I love and the guy I’ve been secretly crazy about for years has finally noticed me. Trust me. I don’t want to be anywhere else but right here. You have nothing to worry about. I’ll go to college at UW and everything will be great. You’ll see.”

At that
moment, I wished the rest of the world would fade away and it was just her and me. I wanted to kiss her senseless, kiss until her heart was pounding like mine.. I wanted to claim her so badly that it made me ache inside.

“I love you,” I whispered as I finished filling the tray of beers. “Thank you for everything.”

“Everything?” she asked.

“Everything. You have no
idea what having you in my life has done for me. And, if I weren’t at work right now, I’d carry you off to my loft and thank you properly—right this minute. Tests be damned.”

Smiling
, she blushed as she bit her lip. It made me want to lick it.