Temperance (38 page)

As the door to his chambers opened and then closed again, he returned his attention to the only other occupant in the room—Ry’Ker.

“So, you did lose the women.”

“
I
lost no one.”

The amount of pride and arrogance in those four words spoke volumes on Ry’Ker’s character, and Bastian found it interesting that he’d been accused of exactly the same traits earlier.

“I think you’re lying.”

“And I think you should shut your mouth.”

Bastian leaned back against the wall and absently scratched at his shoulder. He caught Ry’Ker’s eyes shift there, wary and intense, before they came back up to lock with his own.

“You know, for someone who just asked if I could help him, you are not being very persuasive, Guard.”

“You lost your usefulness when you stated you didn’t know how helpful you could be.”

He pretended to mull that over and then shook his head. “You’re still lying. You’re afraid to release me.”

When Ry’Ker’s eyes turned to slits, Bastian knew he’d struck a nerve.

“When did you first feel it?” he asked, letting his eyes wander down Ry’Ker’s white shirt and black leather jerkin, which was laced to the middle of his chest and matched his pants. “When did you feel your energy feeding mine?”

Ry’Ker clenched his fists by his sides, leading Bastian to believe he was
still
feeling the effects from the contact.
 

“I’ll not let you play me, sensualeer. You think I’m not aware of what your kind does, what feeds your power?”

Bastian could tell he was trying to appear undisturbed by what had taken place, but Ry’Ker’s entire demeanor had changed.

“Unchain my arms.” He gave the demand in a voice he didn’t recognize. Not since having been locked away. Not ever.
 

“That was never an option and you know it.”

“Then unchain the one hand just as you said you would.”

Ry’Ker sized him up, and Bastian wanted to know what he was thinking. The disgust etched into his features made it clear that it was not something particularly pleasant.

“And then what? I’m to bring you someone for you to whore all over until you are fully functioning?”

 
Bastian took immense pleasure in the guard taking a full step back as he stepped forward.
Ahh, the first sign of weakness is showing your fear.

“If you want me to find the missing women, then yes, your best option is what you suggest. However, it is perhaps not as crude as you would imagine. I merely need contact, as in a brief touch. Really, your mind is quite dark, Ry’Ker. Is that why you keep it locked away?”

He knew he was getting under the other man’s skin, because the anger coursing through his veins was evident in the reddish tinge now hitting his cheeks.

“Eat something,” the guard demanded, “and I’ll bring you what you need.”

Ry’Ker turned and walked towards the door, and as he reached for the handle, Bastian couldn’t help himself.

“The healer would do nicely. He’s so malleable.”

Ry’Ker didn’t bother with an answer. He merely pulled open the door as though he wanted to rip it from its hinges and then stormed outside.

* * *

Stomping down the stairs away from the East tower, Ry’Ker made his way outside to the courtyard. Night had descended, and as he passed by the men who lounged against the walls while they drank, he made sure to glare at them so they each scurried off into the shadows.

Little pissants.
 

He was fuming mad. Not only was he irritated with the guards who’d let the women escape, he was also mad at himself for having inadvertently given the sensualeer the upper hand.

He let his eyes adjust to the darkness as they scanned over the men milling about. This was the time of day they were usually settling in. Locking the gates, eating a warm meal, and making sure no threat breached the walls.
 

And what was he doing? Chasing down three puny women who were trying to escape these very walls.
Stupid women.
 

Didn’t they realize the dangers beyond the castle? Not only were they risking his wrath, but they also risked their virtue from the men beyond the Commander’s reach.
Oh well.
What could he do if they wanted to be reckless?

Then he thought of Si’Bastian…
Yes.
He was the key here, the solution.
 

If he could work out a way to get the sensualeer’s mind-reading ability up and functioning, then they’d be able to track them down. That, however, meant risking other abilities reemerging—strengthening.
 

It also meant putting someone else besides himself in harm’s way.

“Ry’Ker?”

The voice came from behind him, and when he turned and spotted Ai’Den, he remembered the way he’d been unable to resist the pull Si’Bastian had projected and knew that most would have reacted the same way.

“Ry’Ker? Where would you have me search?”

Right… The women.
 

“Do a perimeter sweep. Take my horse and get Niall to go with you. If the three of them have made it outside the walls, I have to believe they are armed—or we need to retrain our men on hand-to-hand combat.”

Ai’Den nodded his understanding and made a move to leave. Before he was one step away, Ry’Ker said his name.

“Ai’Den?”

The healer looked over his shoulder at him with a questioning expression.

“Did you sense anything from the Prince? Is he in good health? I didn’t get a chance to ask earlier.”

Ai’Den came back to stop in front of him and frowned. “The strangest thing about that…”

“Yes?” Ry’Ker questioned, moving closer to the man.

“I couldn’t sense any kind of living signature from him. Nothing. It was similar to that of the redhead’s earlier. But unlike hers, where I sensed death…with him…”

Ry’Ker waited, not realizing he had been holding his breath until he demanded, “What? What did you sense from him?”

“I am not even certain,” he murmured.

Ry’Ker grabbed his arms, shaking him. “Tell me.”

“I can’t. I’ve never felt anything like that before.”

Relieved for the moment that Ai’Den seemed none the wiser to the man locked away, he released his hold on him and was even more resolute in his decision to keep Si’Bastian away from fresh eyes. Eyes with questions—questions he’d been forbidden to disclose answers to.

“Go. Search the perimeter with the men. They may need you when they find the women.”

With a quick nod, Ai’Den turned and then made his way across the courtyard to the stables to retrieve his horse. Ry’Ker stared up at the closed window of the tower and knew what must be done.

It was the exact thing he’d dreaded for as long as he could remember.

* * *
 

“What do you mean you killed your mother?”

Kai heard the question, but as he looked into the disbelieving eyes, he wished he could avoid it. He didn’t want to retell this story—certainly not to her.
 

Dragging his eyes from hers, he stood from the bed. Discarding the covers, he let the cold stone of the floor make his feet ache as he walked to the window. The shutters were closed, and as he unlatched and pushed them open, he felt the punishing, cool air hit his naked flesh. It was icy, immediately dampening any desire he may have had to go back and take the woman on the bed.

“Kai?”

Her voice was uncertain as he heard the covers on the bed move under her weight. He looked over his shoulder at her and saw that she was kneeling on his side with the furs held to her breasts.

The shame that hit him in that moment was the most consuming kind he’d felt since the day of the act itself. How could he explain to her, to this stranger in his bed, that he had had to drive his sword through his mother’s heart? That she’d begged him to?

He looked away, back out into the darkness. “We are very different, Naeve.” He thought about how idiotic that statement was.
 

Clearly, she felt the same way. “I realize that. I’m trying to understand.”

“Trying to understand what?” he bit out and turned back to face her. “That you just let a murderer inside your body?”

“No,” she denied.
 

Kai could see that the thought hadn’t actually occurred to her until he had said it. But now that he had…

“Is that why you live all the way out here?” she asked. “Are you wanted for murder?”

“I live here because it is my home.”

“And because you aren’t allowed at L’Mere?”

Kai’s fingers dug into the ledge of the windowsill as he grated out, “I’m allowed to enter L’Mere. I was there with you, was I not?”

She seemed to think over that and nodded, “Yes, but—”

“But what?” he thundered, marching back over to the bed. Gripping her chin, he tilted it back so she was forced to look up at him. “But my brother threatened my life? And so did the Commander? Yes, they did. And they do that not because I ended my mother’s life, but because I had the nerve to.”

He saw tears welling in her eyes, and he wondered at the cause of them, but he was already too far in, too deep within his own darkness to stop or show mercy. If his little rabbit wanted the gory details, then she would hear them from him. Others would only tell vicious rumors and lies, too blinded by tales of his desertion to see in him one of their own kind.

“She was dying, Naeve. Infected by this wretched curse. One of her men,
our
men, turned on her. They stabbed her right where I told you to.” He reached down and touched her side. “In the soft spot…her gut. But she was smart and quick, and she managed to draw her weapon to slice open his jugular. Even wounded, my mother was a fighter…”

Naeve blinked up at him and a tear rolled out of the corner of her eye, but Kai schooled his features into the hardened face he’d been wearing for years. He didn’t think he remembered how to feel sorrow.

“Ry’Ker and I had been away training at L’Mere. We returned that day to an empty house and a trail of blood—her blood. And it led to her room, where she’d barricaded the door. I remember the pain in my shoulder as both Ry’Ker and I rammed against the wood, trying as hard as we could to enter her chambers. And finally, it worked and opened a crack.”

He released the hold he had on her chin and moved to sit down on the bed next to her. Still naked, he would’ve thought the air would bother him, but he realized that all he felt was numb as he recalled the darkest hours of his life to the warm, vibrant woman beside him.

“We ran inside to see her crumpled in a ball. Curled in the corner of her room, clutching her side. There was blood everywhere… So much blood.” He felt a small hand touch his shoulder but was too far inside his memories to acknowledge it. “I got to her first. Ry’Ker… He stayed by the door, rooted to the spot…” His voice trailed off as he revisited that day, that moment in time he was so careful to avoid…

“Mala’Kai…”

“Mother,” he said as he rushed over to her side, his feet slipping slightly underneath him as he stepped into the pool of blood, which had spread out beside her.
 

Her hair was a disheveled mess of inky black around her face, and her ivory-colored gown was stained crimson. Crouching down beside her, Kai placed his hand over hers, but she shook her head adamantly and scooted away, wincing at the pain from her wound.

“Do not touch me…and you must not touch my blood.”

Kai looked down at his boots and then back at her with questioning eyes. “Mother?”

“I’ve been infected, son…”
 

As her words trailed off, he frantically thought back to the latest report at L’Mere. Their home, Claremont, was said to be one of the remaining havens, one of the places where the water still ran clean.

“How?”

“I…” she started and then sucked in a sharp breath from the obvious pain.

“Shh. It doesn’t matter,” he tried to tell her, but as he stared at her colorless face, he swore he would find out. Then he glanced back at Ry’Ker, who was still standing where he’d originally stopped. “Don’t just stand there, brother. Come closer. Can’t you see she is dying?”

Ry’Ker’s eyes, the same as those of his own, moved over her in a frantic search, almost as though he were looking for a way to make it not so. When it appeared he wouldn’t be moving anytime soon, Kai looked back to his ailing mother.

“What can I do?” He wanted to ease her suffering, go for help if need be. But before he could suggest it, she uttered words he couldn’t quite believe.

“End it.”

The words were so quiet that he thought he’d imagined them at first, but when his eyes found hers, he knew he had not. The resolve in them was clear. She’d made her decision and she was asking it of him.

“Mother…”

“Mala’Kai, do not fret. It is okay. This is what I want.”

He looked at her, unbelieving of the request she was making of him. “Mother…no. There has to be another way.”

She shook her head sadly. “There is not. And even if there were, the infection alone puts you and Ry in harm’s way, and I would ask the same thing. But with this…”
 

She drew her hands away, and blood began to seep from the cut in her dress. The hiss of pain pulled her parched lips into a grimace and had him once again reaching for her.

“No, Mala’Kai,” she warned, and he snatched his hand away. Lowering her voice to a whisper, she made her case once more. “This is the only way.
You
are the only one I could ask. With your father gone, you are the head of Claremont. You have been in training. You know how to do this swiftly. I
need
you to do this, Kai.”

Her eyes shifted beyond him to where he knew Ry’Ker stood. Her request was unknown to the boy standing behind him, and as Kai reached for the hilt of his sword, she nodded.

“Ry…” she murmured, stretching a hand out to his brother. Kai stood aside, understanding what she was about to do. “Come here to me, my sweet, sweet boy.”