Tempt Me Eternally (18 page)

“Breean—”

“It has to be this way. I'm sorry. I wish it were otherwise, but . . .”

He felt guilty, she could tell from the tattered emotion in his tone, but she also realized there really
would be no convincing him to rethink his strategy, no matter what she did or how hard she tried. His determination was as solid as hers.

That depressed and angered her, because it meant their time together was over.

Still. If she'd learned anything about him these last few days, it was that he truly wanted to make a home here and would never purposely hurt the innocent. So she tried one more time to make him see the light. “You want to destroy the Schön, yes? Well, if they were to appear today, AIR would be divided, trying to find you
and
fight the Schön. What if this planet falls because you are too stubborn to try to make something work? Please, just let the men go and—”

“Enough. I've spent the last two years fighting, searching for a new home, and making preparations for that home. Finally I'm here. Finally I have a moment's respite with a beautiful woman I—a beautiful woman I like. Why can I not enjoy that for a bit?”

“Because time is our enemy. AIR will find you. And knowing them as I do, I know that if you have failed to initiate a gesture of goodwill, they will show you no mercy.”

He sighed. “I'm monitoring things, Aleaha. I promise you that. I'll know when the Schön queen arrives. I'll know when AIR has softened toward me.”

She laughed bitterly. How many times had she told him that AIR was not known for softening?
You have to act now. No more stalling, waiting, hoping.

Despite her resolve, she knew it was only a matter of time before he attempted to seduce her again
and she caved. His scent was in her nose, his touch branded on her cells, and she would soon find herself begging for more. She always did.

“I hate to disappoint you, Aleaha. I do. But this is for the best, I promise you.”

“Of course.” Hating herself—and him—she rolled from his side, facing away from him. She would free the agents, no matter what needed to be done, and then she would . . . what? Come back for Breean? Would he even want her after that?

Probably not, but it was worth the risk. To save his life, to save her friends, it was worth the risk.

His fingers traced the line of her spine. She shivered, even as her blood heated. How could she still desire him? How could she still crave him so potently, knowing what was about to happen?

“Where are you going?” he asked.

“I'm hungry,” she said, rising and walking to the bowl of fruit he had refilled every morning. Her legs shook.
Stop,
her heart shouted. Or rather, what remained of it.
Don't do this.

This is the only way,
her mind replied. As if clumsy, she knocked the bowl from the vanity, and it shattered on the floor. Pieces of fruit spilled in every direction. “I'm sorry,” she said, trembling as she bent to pick them up.

Don't.
Stupid heart. First, she palmed the longest, sharpest, shard.
No other way
.

Breean was by her side in the next instant, helping her.

Do you really want to do this?

No, she didn't. But she would.

“Go lie down,” he said, clearly concerned for her. “I don't want you to cut yourself.” Yep. Concerned.

If you do this, you are the monster you always considered yourself.

Not true
. And damn it, why couldn't her heart and mind play nice? Keeping the shard hidden, she did as Breean had requested. For Devyn and Dallas and even Macy, for
Breean,
she
would
do this. She gulped back the lump forming in her throat. When the smoke cleared—and by
smoke cleared
she meant
blood dried
—she would speak to Mia and tell her what Breean had not. His purpose, how his planet had fallen, what he wanted, what he needed, how wonderful he was, and how she herself planned to aid him.

And if that got her fired, fine. If that got her imprisoned for aiding an alien, fine again. She'd find a way to escape. She'd find another way to save Breean and his people.

After he'd cleaned up the mess, Breean settled beside her, an orange in hand. He tossed it in the air, caught it. “Still hungry, sweet?” By the sensual bent of his tone, she knew he was thinking about her licking the juice off him.

Now or never. Do it, just do it. It's for his own good, after all.
Aleaha rolled into him. Before he could figure out her intent, she pressed the shard into his jugular, deep enough to draw blood but not deep enough to kill. Blood trickled down his neck, thick and gold. Her hand was wobbling.

He stiffened, and the orange hit the mattress. “What are you doing?” The words were strained.

She shifted as close to him as possible, making it tougher for him to shove her away. “I'm doing what I have to do.” Yet she couldn't deny a sense of wrongness.
Damn it! He didn't give me any other choice.

“Threatening me is a
have to
?”

Her gaze swung guiltily away and landed on the Christmas tree. Only a few more days until Christmas Eve. Maybe she should have waited to do this. They could have exchanged gifts—not that she had one for him—and then—

No. No! With the holiday approaching, the agents needed to be home with their families more than ever. She'd made the right decision. “Apparently it is,” she said.

Breean's tongue traced his teeth. “I thought we were past this.”

“You thought wrong. As long as you're in danger, as long as my friends are captives, we will never be past it.”

A pause. A slight transfer of his weight. “You do realize I could move to the door in the blink of an eye, do you not, taking the weapon with me, leaving you helpless against my fury? All you've done is proven I cannot trust you.”

“You can trust me more than any other. And just so you know, I could sever your head before you moved an inch. I can move quickly, too. Don't forget.”

Eyes slitting, he pushed out a shuddering breath. “It doesn't have to be this way.”

“If you won't see to your future, I will do so. Afterward, I want to be with you. I want to make this thing work between us.”

“You plan to make it work by cutting my throat? Funny. To Rakans, that's the fastest way to end something.” The fragrance of honey began to thicken the air. “Put the shard down.” Even his voice was like honey now. “I want you to be with me, too. You must trust me in this.”

She hissed as her nipples hardened and her mind fogged with desire. “Stop that!” She pressed the shard deeper, and more of that golden blood trickled. Knowing how it tasted, like sugarplums plucked from a freaking rainbow, caused her mouth to water. Was no part of her safe from his appeal?

“Remove your breasts from my side if the smell offends you.”

Offends? Had the situation been any different, she would have snorted. “I'm not moving.” Yet. She had to make him understand why she was seemingly choosing AIR over him. “Someone has to make you
and
AIR see reason. Working together will benefit you both.”

He reached up and grabbed her wrist, though he didn't try to shove her away. “I do see reason. I want to work with them, but your boss wants my head. Which you now seem perfectly willing to give her.”

That touch . . . Her skin flushed, her blood pumping wildly for him. Only him. Aleaha held her breath and tried to figure out what to do next. She'd hoped he wouldn't force her to take this all the way.

“Drop your weapon and we'll pretend this never happened,” he coaxed. There was a dark glint in his eye, and she knew there would be no forgetting. Not for a long while.

Still she surged ahead. “Promise to release the agents. Today.”

“You would believe me?”

Would she? More than anything, she wanted to. Then she could curl back into his arms and give him time to heal from the wound in his neck, and they could make love again. “Yes.”

“Even knowing I always fight dirty.”

“Even knowing.” With her, he'd always been honorable.

“Damn you, Aleaha. As I've told you multiple times, I would be putting everyone in this house at risk.”

“As I've told
you
multiple times, they're already at risk.”

His expression hardened. Had he expected her to say something else? “Either kill me or drop it.” Obviously, he'd reached the end of his patience. He squeezed her wrist, and it was enough to make her bones ache, but not enough to make her release the shard.

You know what you have to do.
There wasn't going to be another opportunity like this, he would make sure of it.

His grip tightened, his anger clearly overriding his promise never to hurt her. “I'm done waiting, Aleaha.” Tighter . . . tighter . . .

Do it. Now!
“If there'd been any other way . . .” she whispered with a sob. “I'm sorry. So sorry.” Then she slashed. Hard.

He jerked in shock, and instantly blood poured, thick like syrup. His eyes were wide and accusing as they stared at her, but he was unable to speak. His hands flew to the injury, knocking her to the side.

Tears filling and burning her eyes, she next cut her own wrist. She had to push his hands away to hold it over his wound, dripping her blood into the center, mixing red with gold. “You'll heal faster this way. I know because I've done this before. Not slit someone's throat, but shared my blood. You won't die. I won't let you die.” Babble, babble. “And I promise you, you will not catch a disease because of this.” But he
would
be too weak to come after her. “I'm sorry.”

All he could do was gurgle. He'd bled her that day to save her, as well as a few times afterward, all of which he'd considered dangerous. Her actions now were a thousand times more so, and they were against him. He might not be able to get past them.

Wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand, she shoved to her feet. As fast as her feet would carry her, she rushed around the room, grabbing his garments. She quickly dressed, unable to stop her shaking. Constantly her gaze roved back to Breean. He, too, was shaking.

I really am a monster. How could I have done that to him?
“I'm so sorry,” she choked out. He'd only given her joy, and this was how she'd repaid him.
You had to do it. There was no other way.
Except . . .

What if she freed the agents and they really did bring AIR to his doorstep as he feared, her recommendation to make peace disregarded? What if he was killed or imprisoned? What if he was tortured for information? She'd never seen an interrogation firsthand, but she'd heard the screams.

Maybe she could blindfold the agents, as he'd suggested, and lead them out. Maybe— She snorted bitterly. Yeah, right. Like they'd really wear blindfolds.
Free them, talk to Mia, and if she won't cooperate, help Breean hide.

If he'd let her. Stomach rolling, she bent and pressed a soft kiss on his lips. They were still warm, yet stiff from the pain. “I'll come back for you. I'll help keep you and your people safe.”

He glared up at her. He'd probably rather kill her than spend another moment in her presence.

A sob congealed in her throat. “Good-bye for now, Breean.”

She strode to the door, forcing her body to grow, to develop muscles. Her skin became that lovely shade of gold, the power inside her humming. When the switch was complete, she pictured the house, mentally navigating her way toward the cells. Now all she had to do was walk there. Without incident.

Twice she was stopped and questioned in the Rakan language; both times she merely nodded and shooed the men away with a wave of her fingers, as if she couldn't be bothered. They regarded her strangely, but allowed her to pass. God knows what she would have done if they hadn't. She couldn't get
her heartbeat under control and was sweating profusely.

Finally she reached her destination. The air was stuffier here, laden with dust, and she could hear an urgent murmur of voices. Poor guys, stuck in this dank, ugly place while she'd enjoyed the royal treatment.

In the corner were two Rakan guards. They straightened when they spotted her.

“I'm taking over tonight,” she told them, praying they found nothing odd about her use of English. “You're free to do whatever you wish.”

Grins split both their faces. “Even go into town?” one asked.

“Absolutely. Tell everyone else they've got permission to go as well.”

Waiting only until they rushed off, she kicked back into gear. Just before she reached Devyn's cell, she summoned Macy's image. Her body shortened, the bones shrinking, and her facial features rounded. She didn't have to see herself to know her skin was now tanned and her hair pale.

I'm not this person,
she wanted to scream.

The clothes might be hard to explain, since they suddenly bagged on her, but oh, well. Curling her fingers around the bars, she saw that Devyn was seated against the far wall, his knees upraised and his head in his hands. “Devyn,” she said, her voice no longer her own, either. She'd just gotten used to being herself, damn it.

His head whipped up, and when he saw her, he
grinned and stood. In no way did he look like a man who'd spent several weeks in captivity. He looked ready for a party.

“Lolli, darling.” His eyes were like amber fire in the murky darkness, raking over her. Other agents had been moved to his cell; a couple tried to approach the bars, but he waved them back and they obeyed. “How'd you escape the big guy?”

Nausea churned in her stomach.
Oh, I slit his throat and left him bleeding in his own bed.
“I made myself look like him and walked out.” It was the truth.