Tequila & Tea Bags (18 page)

‘Morning,’ I smile to Mavis behind the counter. It’s slowly getting easier to look her in the eye. I can see why everyone thinks I’m lying about her. She really does seem like the sweetest lady.

‘A brew, love?’ she asks, her usual smiley face looking a bit forlorn. The bags around her eyes are puffier than usual. Shagging your husband at all hours will do that to you. Dirty scally wag.

I nod even though I see Riley’s got me a coffee.

‘Are you okay, Mavis?’ I follow her to the counter so that the others can't hear.

‘Yes, love, just a bit stressed out. Got a few unsuspected bills today.’ Was that before or after rogering your husband? The dirty mare. She looks far more stressed than she’s letting on.

‘But…you’ll be okay though, right?’

A look of panic flashes over her face, before she plasters on a fake smile.

‘Of course. We’ll…we’ll get through it. Just…struggling without the regular contracts from the other villages. But we’re fine.’ She hands over my tea and walks back over to Mrs Elerry.

How can this village feud be affecting their trade and
still
people are insisting on keeping it up? It’s dumb. They’ll all be bankrupt and living on the streets before they admit they need their help.

‘Hey,’ I smile at Riley, sitting down and taking a few large gulps of the tea. I need the caffeine. She looks at the coffee she got me, seeming embarrassed by the snub. I didn’t mean to be vicious.

‘You look great, Rose,’ she smiles, her eyes scanning me excitedly.

I look down at my skinny jeans and Elsie’s baggy pink jumper. Now I
know
she's lying.

‘Yeah, right,’ I snort. ‘Just tell me the real reason I’m here today. I already said I won't tell Will about you and James.’

‘I know and I’m so grateful,’ she gushes. ‘This might sound weird, but James and I don’t even like each other. We use each other sometimes when we’re missing affection, but there’s no real love there. I’m pretty sure we’re both in love with other people.’

In love with someone else? Will? She
is
after him. I just know it.

‘Is it Will? Is something going on between you?’ I ask before I can stop myself from sounding less pathetic.

‘Oh my God, no!’ she shrieks, blushing and fanning her face. ‘We’ve been just friends for ages now. It’s just…okay, I’m worried about you.’ She folds her hands over each other on the table.

‘About me? Why?’ I take a sip of my tea, trying to think over her intentions. Why the hell should she be worried about me? Surely this whole thing was to persuade me not to tell?

‘I just want you to be careful of Will,’ she warns, her voice grave. Her eyes are sympathetic.

‘Careful? What do you mean, careful?’ I sound far more intrigued than I should, my voice high pitched and needy, but damn it, I want to know what she’s going on about. Is it because she’s fucking him too?

She looks down into her coffee. ‘It’s just…I know you really like him and I don’t want you hurting yourself.’

‘Why would I get hurt?’ I scrutinise her body language. She seems awkward, but her hands are open while she talks. Isn’t that supposed to mean honesty? Or is she just trying to upset me?

‘Err…no reason.’ She avoids my eye line.

I narrow my eyes on her. ‘Tell me, Riley,’ I demand, hitting my hand hard on the table.

The ladies stop to stare at the drama.

‘Nothing to tell,’ she laughs, seeming as if she wishes she hadn’t said anything. She starts to signal Mavis. ‘Can we get two muffins over here please?’

‘Stop changing the subject.’ Although I could do with the muffin. ‘What has Will done?’ I demand, getting angrier by the second.

‘Nothing,’ she says, waving her hands dismissively. ‘I’m sure it’s just me being stupid. I really wish I hadn’t said anything. So how’s the volunteering going?’

Is she seriously trying to change the subject?

I pick up my butter knife and shove it in her face.

‘Tell me now or, I swear to God, shit’s about to get real!’

Possibly a little dramatic. She looks back at me, her eyes wide and stunned.

‘Shall I call the police, love?’ Mr Baker asks her, looking over his newspaper as if I’ve lost my mind. Maybe I have.

‘No, it’s fine,’ she smiles at him, swallowing hard. She hunches over the table, lowering her voice to a whisper. ‘He…he kind of said that he was going to nail the new girl when he heard you were moving to the village.’

My mouth drops open as I stare at her aghast. This doesn’t sound like Will. She must be making this up. I mean, we haven’t even had sex yet. The guy’s a perfect gentleman. She’s just jealous. But then, he said not to tell anyone. How does she even know about us? He wouldn’t have told her, right?

‘He said he was going to play with you for a while; wait for every other guy to have a go first and then lure you in. He planned to refuse sex for a while, so you were eager and willing to do absolutely anything in bed.’ She twists her hands in her lap, looking apologetic.

I sit there, my body still, as my mind reels. Play with me for a while? Refuse sex…willing to do
anything
in bed? How can this be happening? How could he have said all of that? Riley wouldn’t know this unless he’d actually said it. She’d never guess that we hadn’t slept together yet. The whole village thinks I’m a slut. If she had any suspicion of us she’d just assume we were shagging.

‘I’m so sorry,’ she says, showing pain I know I should be feeling.

All I feel is numb.

‘No, thanks for telling me,’ I whisper, my voice hoarse.

I stand up and walk out without saying goodbye. I don’t think I could speak if I wanted to. I’m barely out of the door before the tears start trickling down my face. I’m surprised I feel them. I can't feel anything else. I won't allow myself to truly digest this until I’m home.

I jog the few streets to the cottage, collapsing over with a stitch once I reach the door. Lauren’s coming out of her house, so I quickly turn away, fumbling for my keys.

‘Hey, Rose!’ she calls.

I turn and wave at her, still avoiding eye contact. I open the door, slamming it behind me. I rest back against the door and let the emotions surface.

I’m nothing but a joke to Will. Some silly little slut from Watford who is too thick to realise when someone’s being fake with her. I’m nothing to him.
Nothing.

A sob escapes my chest, so loud I’m shocked it even belongs to me. I feel physically wounded, the hurt twisting inside me. I startle when the door bangs behind me. I stand up, wipe my tears away with the back of my hand and plaster on a smile. I pull the door open to find Lauren. God, she’s persistent.

‘I’m coming in,’ she says, pushing past me. She turns to me, her face questioning. ‘What the hell is wrong?’

I burst into tears, them falling thick and fast. Hardly the kind of actions of someone trying to compose herself.

She pulls me to the couch and cradles me into a hug. You can tell she's a mum. She just knows what to do in situations like this.

I tell her everything, off-loading all of my worst fears and worries. She nods encouragingly, grimacing in the right places. She opens a bottle of wine and makes us some cheese on toast. Maybe she really is an angel.    

‘That’s so shit, babe,’ she sighs. ‘What can I say, but all men are bastards.’

I snort out a laugh, unwittingly blowing a snot bubble out of my nostril.

‘You can say that again,’ I sniff, placing my head in her lap. I need to be treated like a cat right now. Marbles never seems to have problems. ‘Is Noah’s dad a bastard?’

She sighs. ‘He’s not even a bastard. Just…someone who made a mistake.’

She doesn’t hate him for abandoning her while pregnant? How can she be so forgiving when he ruined her life?

‘So…who is Noah’s dad?’ I ask, twirling a piece of hair in my hand. My attempts at flicking it around in her lap, hoping she’ll be encouraged to play with it, doesn’t seem to be working.

‘No one,’ she says quickly, jumping up and pushing me off her lap. She collects our plates and starts putting them in the dishwasher. ‘Why? What have you heard?’ Her voice is clearly panicked.

‘Nothing! I just…I guess I just wondered is all. Were you already pregnant when you moved to the village?’

She walks back into the siting room and sits down on the sofa.

‘Yeah. Eight months.’

‘So why move here? Didn’t you live in Leeds? Doesn’t it make more sense for you to live there, so you could be closer to work?’ I can't help but blurt them all out. I’m so curious.

‘Aren’t you Miss Questions this evening?’ she grins.

I blush, but then realise she’s avoiding the question. ‘So really, why?’ I push.

She looks away and sighs heavily. It’s as if she’s considering whether she should tell me or not. I hope she does.

‘The father wanted me to move here,’ she admits reluctantly, twiddling a thread on her jeans.

My mouth drops open, dribbling wine onto my lap. ‘No fucking way! The father lives here?’

‘I didn’t say that!’ she retorts flicking her curls back. But her cheeks are uncharacteristically red.

‘But it’s true!’ I can tell by the way she’s avoiding eye contact.

Oh my God. How awkward must that be! Imagine your baby daddy being round the corner, but you’re sworn to secrecy.

‘Okay, it’s true. He wanted me to move here so he could be closer to Noah.’

‘I can't believe he moved his mistress here! The dirty bastard,’ I laugh.

‘I’m not his mistress!’ she exclaims, suddenly rattled. ‘We broke it off as soon as I found out I was pregnant.’

‘How lovely of him,’ I snort. Sounds like a right charmer.

‘Don’t blame him. He’s got a lot to lose.’ She looks out of the window, her eyes clouded with grief. I realise how heartless I’m being.

Oh my God, what if it’s Will? No…right?

‘Like what?’

She looks down at the floor. ‘Like a family of his own.’

She had an affair with a married man!

‘WHAT? Who is it?’ I shout, jumping up and down in my seat.

I’m already going through the options in my head. Who the hell could it be? I didn’t think there were any good looking guys here. Especially married ones.

‘I’m not telling you,’ she says defensively. She drains her wine glass in one go.

‘Why not?’ I whine, putting on my best sad eyes.

‘Because he’s a pillar of the community. This coming out would ruin his life, and I don’t intend to be the one to do it.’’

‘So let me do it!’ I joke.

‘Ha-ha,’ she deadpans, not at all seeing the funny side. ‘Let’s change the subject. Did something happen between you and James?’

Oops. I’d tried to keep that out of the story, but I’m obviously a little transparent.

‘Err…it’s complicated.’

‘Exactly,’ she smiles cunningly. ‘Drop it, Rose. I’ll never tell you, so just stop.’

***

She left and didn’t tell me, but I can't stop thinking about it. Noah’s dad is living here in the village. I think I’m probably clinging onto it, so I don’t have to concentrate on my own problems.

Elsie comes in, slamming the door. She heads straight for the kitchen. God, she's a drama queen.

‘What’s up, Els?’ I shout in after her.

‘Nothing,’ she shouts, slamming the fridge door loudly. ‘Only that the vicar’s wife, Jeanette, is such a bitch.’

I giggle to myself. I love when she swears. It shows there’s a natural, honest person in there who would rather eat shit than be a nun. She won't last two minutes.

‘I swear,’ she continues, walking in with a large glass of red wine, ‘I have no idea how he’s managed to stay married to her for so long. She’s such a witch.’

I look down at my hands, thinking of Will’s betrayal.

‘People in love do stupid things,’ I reason. Not that I’m in love. Of course not.

‘I really don’t see love in his eyes, though.’ She moves Marbles from the sofa so she can sit down. She hisses in protest. ‘I think he feels he has to just hang in there because of his status and the girls.’

‘Poor guy,’ I scoff, hardly feeling sorry for him. He could walk away at any time.

He must have his reasons though, I suppose. His status. Hang on a minute…pillar of the community? Lauren’s son is called Noah. As in Noah’s Ark. He lives in the village and has a family of his own and a squeaky clean reputation to up hold.

Holy shit. The vicar is Noah’s dad.

Monday 3
rd
November

‘I am so excited, Rose!’ Megan beams at me. ‘I’ve told everyone we’ll text them on the evening so they can't blab the location. I’m literally all the school is talking about right now!’

Bless Megan and her enthusiasm. I’ve told her we can have the party at the old abandoned castle I found with Will. It’s far out enough that no one should see.
Will
. Just thinking of him makes me want to wallow in my disaster life. I hate how he just thinks of me as the new slut in the village. The village bike. I’m used to people having opinions about me at home, but this feels different. I can't believe I actually bought that he was different. What a joke. He’s just an evil knob head. Far worse than anyone I’ve ever gone home with.

‘You don’t seem very excited!’ Megan whines, poking me in the ribs.

I shake my head, trying to get out of my own thoughts.

‘Sorry, Megs. Don’t worry, it’ll be amazing,’ I say as upbeat as I can muster. I still sound hollow. I am.

I was up all night telling Elsie and I think I’ve exhausted myself from all of the heavy emotion. I’ve never cried so much in my life.

The pub door swings open dramatically, hitting the wall with a hard thump. I jump out of my skin before turning round, my heart in my throat. Standing before me is Will and he looks furious. His face is red and blotchy and it looks like he didn’t sleep very well last night. What the hell has
he
got to be upset about? The pig.

I have to get out of here. I can't see him yet. Just a quick glance at his beautiful face and I’m already trying to talk myself into forgiving him.

I turn to Megan, sat at her usual spot at the bar. ‘I’m taking my break.’

I haven’t had the heart to tell her what happened. She’s so excited about the party. She doesn’t need to worry about my drama. Being a teenager is hard enough. She looks back at me strangely, obviously thinking I’m a weirdo.

I duck out of the bar and run to the back room to grab my bag and coat. I escape out of the back door and am almost out of their garden when I feel an arm on my shoulder, roughly pulling me around. I face Will, his green eyes boring angrily into mine. Crap.

‘Rose! Slow the fuck down!’ he shouts, his voice hoarse.

I sigh heavily. I don’t have the energy for this. I
cannot
have this conversation right now. Please God, let something happen so I can get away. Some earthquake, some thunderstorm, something!

Suddenly something drops onto my shoulder. I swivel my head to find what it is, but an intense pain in my neck stops me. It feels like…teeth, clamping down on me. I look at Will, and he’s staring in open repulsion.

‘What is it? Get it off me!’ I scream, breaking into a sprint, running back and forth the length of their garden. I desperately try to bat it away, but at the same time I’m scared to touch it. Whatever it is has locked its bloody jaw around my neck. What if it’s a fox?

‘Calm down, Rose,’ he says slowly, his eyes showing his barely concealed panic.

‘AAAAGGGGHHHH!!! Please get off me, you bastard!!!’ I start ramming my neck into the fence. I nearly collapse from the force. Why won’t this fucking animal get off me?! I can feel its teeth biting into me. And what the hell is it? It’s too small for a fox. A bird? A cat?

‘Rose, it’s a squirrel!’ he shouts over my screaming, his hands through his hair in desperation.

‘A squirrel?’ I shriek. A bloody squirrel? What is a squirrel doing attacking me? ‘Throw it a fucking nut or something!’

He bursts out laughing, spitting all over me. I glare at him. He quickly recovers himself, seeing I’m in no joking mood. Well, with his help I’m done for.

I’m feeling weaker now. The original adrenaline slowing down in my veins. I’m going to die. This fucking squirrel is going to kill me. How pathetic. I can go home drunk with bloody randoms and somehow end up not raped and murdered, but oh no, a squirrel will get me. I knew I wasn’t made for the countryside.

‘Err…stay there,’ he says, backing out of the room before turning and running off.

Is he fucking
serious?
As if I could go anywhere! Where the hell does he think I’d go?

Right, think Rose, think. How do you bargain with a squirrel that wants to kill you? With all of the self-help books out there you’d think they’d be a
living in the country survival guide
or something. God, if I survive this I’m googling it. I need to know what other risks are out there.

I take a deep breath, summoning up the last bit of courage I can muster and clench my hand around its tiny, hairy body. God, it feels creepy. I can feel its bones. And not soft like I thought it would be, but covered in coarse fur. I start pulling it away, but it’s got such a latch on my neck that it’s just going to rip my throat out. Breathe Rose, breathe. Will’s gone to get help.

BANG!

A gunshot makes me jump so high I have time to wonder if I’ve wet myself with fear on the way down. I look around, my body trembling, to see Phil and his shot gun. I look behind me to see a hole in the fence. The squirrel scuttles off, clearly shitting itself.

‘I told you about those fucking squirrels!’

***

‘You didn’t have to come with me,’ I moan bitchily, as I slump down onto a plastic chair in the A & E waiting room.

That’s not really true; Phil insisted Will drive me. Not that I made the journey easy on him. I basically blanked him the whole time, only answering with a ‘FINE!’ every time he asked me how I was feeling. Everyone knows fine in girl code means go fuck yourself.

‘I could hardly leave you to drive yourself.’ He sighs and sits down next to me.

I humph. He’s so bloody logical. It’s infuriating.

His scent invades my nostrils. He’s too close to me. I can feel my body already reacting to him, wanting to curl into him. I try to remind myself that he’s a two faced bastard. Not a delicious, beautiful hunk of a man.

‘Well, I’m here now. You can go,’ I snap, folding one arm over my chest. The other is still holding a tea towel to my wound.

‘Just shut up, will you,’ he berates, his voice frustrated. ‘Let me see it.’ He leans in closer to my neck.

I sigh wearily, tired of arguing. I lower the tea towel to give him a look. I hear, rather than see his sharp intake of breath.

‘Is it really that bad?’ I ask, my eyes wide and scared.

Now I’m worried. Maybe that squirrel bit a vein and I’m close to death. I could be bleeding out right now and I’d have no idea. And I’m really hungry. I didn’t ever imagine dying hungry. If I had a snickers bar I’d go happily right now. Just a bloody snickers, universe! But of course I forgot to bring my bag. There’s something about bleeding from your neck that makes you forget anything logical.

‘No, I was joking,’ he says forcing a smile, unable to hide the repulsion.

‘Jesus, Will. At least lie well!’ I shout, my voice wobbly. I shoot him a look of utter contempt.

‘So…are we going to talk about why you were running away from me in the first place?’

I turn to face him fully, my face like thunder. ‘What do you want from me, Will?’ I ask acidly, narrowing my eyes at him.

The worst thing is that he looks hurt at my tone of voice and that actually makes me want to burst into tears and rush to him. He’s made me feel so much affection towards him without me even realising it. The sneaky bastard. No, he’s an arsehole. Remember that.

‘Do you mind telling me why you’ve been ignoring me?’ he demands, his face contorting in rage.

Why the hell is
he
angry? He has no right.

‘Ha!’ I snort, not so delicately. ‘I’m afraid your little secrets out, Will.’ Sudden tears prick my eyes. I blink them away. Do NOT cry. Don’t give him the satisfaction.

His face crunches up in confusion. He rubs his forehead, as if trying to gather jumbled thoughts. Lies more like.

‘Little secret? What the hell are you talking about?’

I study his face, trying to read it.

‘Miss Chapman?’ I look up to see an Indian lady doctor. Saved by the bell.

She assesses me and then a nice nurse gives me some butterfly stitches, covering it with a large white plaster. I walk back into the waiting room thirty minutes later to find he’s still waiting for me. I was kind of hoping he’d leave me alone to get a taxi. Not that I can afford one.  

‘You stay here. I’ll bring the car round.’ Bossy as ever.

I nod, having no energy to smile and be gracious. I slump down onto a chair and put my head into my hands. Why is life so bloody hard?

I look up, right into the face of a young teenage girl in black clothes, sitting across from me. She’s got red spiky hair cut close to her head. She’s looking at me really intensely. She must know I’m a former teenage Goth. It’s the only explanation.

I lean back and cross my arms, feeling self-conscious. I look out of the window, hoping Will will appear in a minute. I glance back and now I’m sure she’s staring at me. What the hell is her problem? She stands up and walks to sit next to me. Great. I turn to look at her questionably, now unable to ignore her.

‘Your neck,’ she points with a black painted fingernail. ‘What happened?’

No hello, how are you? How bloody rude are teenagers these days?

‘A squirrel bit me,’ I say, no emotion in my voice. I’m too exhausted.

‘Oh, aye,’ she smiles suspiciously. ‘Animal attack, eh?’ She raises her eyebrow questionably. Why is she being so weird?

‘Err…yeah…a squirrel. Like I said.’ I nod, trying to turn away from her. Why do I always attract the nutters?

‘It’s okay,’ she whispers, leaning in close. ‘I
know.’

‘Know what?’ This bird is seriously freaking me out. Is she psychic? Did she see the squirrel attacking in a dream or something?  

‘That you’ve been bitten. It’s okay. I know you need to feed to fully turn.’ She looks around us. ‘If we find somewhere quiet I don’t mind letting you do it. But only if you turn me afterwards.’

‘What?’

Did we wander into a mental ward by mistake? What the hell is she going on about?

‘You can cut the bullshit,’ she snaps, quickly turning on me. ‘I know you’re a vampire. So are you going to turn me or what?’

‘A VAMPIRE?’ I shriek, my mouth gaping open.

‘Shush!’ she snaps. ‘We can’t have people hearing. They’ll have you locked up straight away.’

‘I’m not surprised. Anyone who believes in vampires is insane.’ She narrows her eyes at me. ‘Look, I don’t know what you want, but I am not a fucking vampire!’ I hiss low so no one can hear me. I can hardly believe I’m having to clarify this.

Will’s car horn beeps and I stand up, seeing his car out of the window. I look back to her. ‘I suggest you forget about this stupid conversation.’

‘Oh, no,’ she smiles, ‘I’m not on Vervain. That’s why I offered you my blood. I’m sure the whole of Yorkshire’s on it, so good luck,’ she snorts, folding her arms and leaning back.

What the hell is Vervain? And why is she picking on me?

I basically run out to the car and jump in, still feeling her eyes on me. What a creepy bitch.

‘You okay?’ he asks with a bemused smirk.

‘Yeah fine, just…yeah, I’m fine.’

Somehow I don’t think he’ll appreciate the vampire story. I lean back into the chair, ready to sleep this nightmare away.

‘So…are we going to talk about why you’ve been ignoring me?’ he asks, keeping his eyes on the road. I suppose we’re doing this now.

I breathe out a heavy sigh in exasperation.

‘I know what you really think of me, Will. I know that you went around bragging that you were going to screw the new slutty girl.’ I want to spit out the words, but my voice carries no emotion. I really wish I was looking gorgeous when I confronted him, not pale from blood loss.

‘Huh?’ he mutters, his eyes off the road, narrowing on mine.

‘But what I really don’t get,’ I’m on a mission now, anger and humiliating spurring me on, ‘is why bother with the whole nicey nicey thing? Why not just fuck me and get it over with? Why all this fucking with my head?’ My voice is finally carrying some conviction.

His eyes dart helplessly from side to side.

‘Rose, you’re being crazy. I have no fucking idea what you’re talking about.’ He sounds sincere, but I should know by now what a great actor he is.

‘Of course you don’t,’ I snarl sarcastically.

My chest crushes with the need to cry. Why the hell do I want to cry when I’m so bloody angry? He hurt me and he won’t be allowed to do that again. I’ll kill him first.

He notices I’m about to bawl and leans over to me, his hand going to dry my tears.

‘No!’ I snap, throwing his hand away in disgust. Even though I want nothing more than for him to comfort me. ‘Don’t you dare try to be nice to me, Will! Don’t you dare. Just drive me home.’

I’m silent for the rest of the ride home. Silent apart from the tears that escaped and refused to go away.