Text Order Bride (7 page)

out a shout and collapsed on top of her. Burying his face in her neck, he

fought for control.

“Are you okay?” she asked as she stroked his back soothingly.

He laughed and rolled to his side. “I’m supposed to ask you that, silly girl.”

She grinned and stretched. “I’m trying to figure out what I was so nervous

about. That was incredible.”

He wrapped his arms around her and settled her head onto his shoulder.

“We’ll have to do that again sometime.”

“Sometime very soon,” she agreed.

Amanda felt almost sad on Monday as she packed up their things to head

back to Stratford. She had enjoyed the days of getting to know her

husband so much more than she’d ever dreamed she would. While she

was happy that they would be starting their lives together, and she would

be moving into her new home, she was going to miss having Jason’s

undivided attention.

Jason walked up behind her and wrapped his hands around her waist. “I’m

going to miss our little hotel room.”

She turned in his arms and rested her head on his shoulder, still marveling

that she had the right to touch him this way. “I was just thinking the same

thing. I’ve enjoyed getting to know you with no other obligations.”

He nodded. “That’s exactly what I mean. I love farming; don’t get me

wrong. I wouldn’t change what I do for anything, but I would have loved to

be able to take another week away from everything.”

He brushed a quick kiss across her mouth then picked up the bags. She

grabbed the garment bags holding her wedding dress and his tuxedo and

followed him out to the truck.

They held hands and talked about the community they’d be living in as he

drove back. He asked again if she was sure that she felt okay about giving

up her job.

“Yeah, if I feel like I want to work, I can always offer a quilting class or

something of that nature. They’re fun to teach, because the women taking

the classes actually want to learn. When I taught high school, even though

the classes were electives, it was obvious that most of the girls were just

there to get a credit toward graduation. None were really there because

they had a strong desire to learn to cook or sew.”

Jason nodded thoughtfully. “I can see that. I just don’t want you to be

sitting around the house with nothing to do.”

Amanda laughed. “I really don’t think I’ll run out of things to do. I’ll

probably start out by putting my own touches on the house. New curtains,

quilts, and that type of thing. I’m sure I’ll be cooking and cleaning on a

daily basis. By the time I have the house the way I want it, I’ll hopefully be

pregnant, and then I can start sewing maternity clothes and baby clothes.

And I did put in my application to sub with the Stratford schools.”

“My mom always dreaded sewing. Do you really like doing that kind of

thing?”

“I didn’t when I started out. I first began to sew when I was twelve and

could no longer fit into regular sized women’s clothes. I’m sure you

understand how that goes. Men have the big and tall shops, but women

only have plus sized shops, and I’m too slender for those clothes. It was

either learn to sew or wear men’s clothes for the rest of my life.”

“But now you like it?” he asked.

“As I got better at it, I started to like it. I had a lot of fun fixing up my little

house in Texas. Some of the moms of the girls I taught hired me to make

their prom dresses for them. I even made wedding dresses for some of

those girls a few years later,” she told him. “It’s nice to be able to do

something that’s appreciated. There’s no way I’d have been able to buy an

off the rack wedding dress in my size.”

“I guess that makes sense,” he agreed.

Once they were home, he changed into some work clothes and went out to

do the evening’s milking while she took inventory in the kitchen to find

something that she could cook for dinner that night. There wasn’t much to

choose from. He hadn’t lied about living on frozen dinners, sandwiches,

and frozen burritos. It was too late to get any shopping done, but she put it

on her mental to-do list for tomorrow. For tonight, they’d have to make do

with sandwiches.

As she started scrubbing off the kitchen counters and cleaning out the

microwave, she realized that this was the first time she’d been alone for

more than ten minutes since the wedding. As she thought back over the

last few days, she wondered what the future would hold. She knew she

could be content to keep house and make love with Jason every night, but

she wasn’t sure if she could be truly happy without his love.

She was so deeply in love with him it hurt. Could she love him, and not be

loved in return without being miserable?

*****

Before that week, Amanda had no clue how many hours per day a farmer

actually worked. Jason explained that summers were the busiest time of

the year, but freely admitted that he worked a whole lot of hours no matter

what time of year it was. She quickly began to feel like the only time she

got to see her husband was when they were eating and when they were

making love.

She had never been one to think she needed to be around other people at

all times, but the quiet on the farm started messing with her head at times.

She made sure that she always kept a list of what they needed from town

posted on the refrigerator, and when she needed to see another human,

she would head into town, grocery shop, and meet Stephanie for lunch.

They’d been married for around a month, when Amanda realized she was

going insane from the quiet again, so she invited Stephanie and the kids

out to the farm for lunch that day. When Stephanie arrived without the

children, Amanda was thrilled. She’d finally have a chance to talk to her

friend privately.

After gushing over all the work done on the house, Stephanie pulled

Amanda down onto the couch with her. “Well?” she asked.

“Well what?” asked Amanda.

Stephanie rolled her eyes. “I need to hear how everything is going. You

seem happy with Jason.”

Amanda blushed. “Jason and I get along great. He’s really everything that I

was hoping for.”

Stephanie smiled brightly. “I was hoping you’d feel that way!”

“Yeah, he’s really wonderful.” She paused for a moment looking down at

her hands. “I just hope I can keep him from finding out how much I love

him.”

“He is wonderful, and… What?” Stephanie got a confused look on her

face as Amanda’s words finally sank in. “Why would you not want to love

your husband?”

Amanda shook her head staring at the floor.

“Amanda! Why?”

“I honestly don’t think I could stand it if he knew how I felt, and he never

had any feelings for me,” she whispered.

Stephanie stared at her. “Why do you think he doesn’t love you?”

Amanda shook her head, tears starting to fall. “No one ever has. I’ve

known for years that I’m just one of those people that can be loved by

friends, but not romantically.”

“Are you serious?” Stephanie asked incredulously.

Amanda nodded, her head bowed.

“Wow. I had no idea you felt that way.” She was silent for a moment as if

searching for the right words. “Amanda, you’ve never really even dated

anyone. You scared all the guys off when you could see over the top of

their heads. Which one of those numbskulls would have fallen for you?”

Amanda hiccupped a laugh. “Numbskulls?”

“Absolute numbskulls,” Stephanie said adamantly. “Jason isn’t a

numbskull. If he wasn’t half in love with you when he asked you to marry

him, sight unseen I’ll remind you, then I’d be shocked.”

“Do you really think so?” At Stephanie’s nod, she said, “I hope you’re

right.”

Stephanie grinned. “Oh, I’m right.”

The door opened then, and Jason stepped inside. “Oh, hi, Stephanie. I

didn’t know you were visiting today.” It had started raining, and he was

hoping that he could lure his wife into bed. If he couldn’t work, he might as

well be doing something fun.

Stephanie looked at Amanda. “I’m on my way out.”

Jason looked between them. “You don’t have to leave just because I’m

here.” He liked Stephanie. Why would she leave?

Stephanie smiled and hugged Amanda. “I’m already gone.”

Jason stood in the middle of the room baffled. He watched as Stephanie

left, and Amanda got up and fussed around. “Mandy,” he started reaching

out to take her arm. “Were you crying?”

She shook her head and pulled away straightening the pillows on the couch

as if it was the most important thing she could do.

“Mandy, stop that!” He grasped both of her arms in his hands. “What’s the

matter? Have I done something to offend you? I know I’m working all the

time, but it’s raining! I have the afternoon off until milking time.”

“It’s not that,” she mumbled, not meeting his eyes. “I expected you to work

all the time. I didn’t come into this marriage blind.”

“Then tell me what it is. I can’t fix something if I’m not aware it’s going on,”

he told her. “I hate seeing you cry.”

Amanda took a deep breath. “I was just talking to Stephanie about how I’m

afraid I’m falling in love with you.”

He tensed for a moment, thrilled that she had feelings for him, but worried

because of the way she’d phrased that. “Would that be the end of the

world?”

Amanda shook her head, the tears starting to fall again. “I just hate the

idea of having feelings that don’t go both ways. It would be much harder to

be in a marriage with love on one side, than it would be to be in a loveless

marriage, which is what we signed on for. Does that make any sense at

all?”

Jason nodded. “It makes perfect sense. And you’re right. It is hard to be

in a marriage with love all on one side. I know. I’ve been there since the

day I married you.”

Amanda looked at him in shock, “But, you married me because you wanted

kids and we got along so well online and on the phone and stuff. It wasn’t

for love.”

Jason shook his head. “Maybe it wasn’t love on your side, but it certainly

was on my side. I’d never have asked you to marry me otherwise.”

Amanda smiled and brushed away the last of her tears burying her face

against him. “I’m so glad I’m not in this alone. I love you, Jason.”

He laughed and grabbed her in a bear hug. “And I love you, Mandy.”

She laughed and kissed his chin. “I’m so glad it rained.”

He leaned over to kiss her. “Wanna go upstairs and see my bedroom?”

“It hasn’t changed much since this morning,” she told him. “I mean, the bed

is made now, but that’s about it.”

“Let’s go unmake that bed.” He grabbed her hand and pulled her toward

the stairs.

“Are you going to make it worth my while to have to remake it?” she asked

laughingly.

“You bet. And I plan on keeping you in it for long enough that making it

again will seem pointless.”

“Do you promise?” she asked as he closed the bedroom door to shut out

the world.

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