That Carolina Summer (North Carolina) (14 page)

It seemed impossible to be more aware of him, but she was. Yet there wasn't any nervousness, even though this was the first time she'd ever been alone with a man in his apartment. She had attended parties before at a male friend's place, but there had always been a horde of other friends there, as well.

“What are you thinking about?” Josh asked, his gaze playing over her features.

“How comfortable I am,” she admitted, and took another sip of champagne. This time she didn't choke on the bubbles.

“You managed that without a cough or a sneeze,” he observed. “Your glass is nearly empty. Shall I refill it for you?"

“No,” Annette refused. “I hadn't better have any more on an empty stomach. It goes to my head too quickly, and you'd wind up with a slightly tipsy blonde at dinner."

“Very sensible,” Josh murmured, and drank from his glass.

Her glance studied the tanned column of his throat as he swallowed, the wine. Her fingers curled with the desire to touch him, but she kept them around the stemmed crystal glass.

“If you'd like to pour yourself some more, don't let me stop you,” she offered.

“Why? Do you want me to get ‘slightly tipsy'?” He mocked her with her own phrase.

“That's an interesting thought,” she murmured provocatively.

A low chuckle came from his throat. “And I always thought the man was supposed to get the girl drunk."

“Turnabout is fair play,” Annette countered with a half shrug, the weight of his arm lessening the movement.

“Is it?” He set his glass down on the end table, then took hers and placed it beside his. “In that case, you can kiss me."

She started to laugh, then realized Josh was serious. On second thought, she rather liked the idea of being the one to initiate an embrace. The hand that had been so anxious to touch him curved itself to the ropy muscles along his neck, applying pressure to bend his head to hers.

Her lips mobilely found the warmth of his and it ceased to matter who was the aggressor. Josh was turning to her, his hand reaching for her. It seemed he was burying his mouth in hers, filling all the intimate recesses. His thin shirt was like a second skin; her caressing hands had all the sensation of touch of his muscled shoulders and back. Latent power rippled beneath her fingers.

She was drunk on the taste of him and it affected all the rest of her senses. Wild vibrations swept her as Josh nuzzled her neck and rediscovered the sensitive pulse point at the base of her throat. The wayward roaming of his hands was creating a havoc of its own, exciting and arousing her to a fever pitch.

His hand slid along her thigh, trying to mold her to him. “This is as bad as a car,” Josh sighed in frustration, and lifted her onto his lap.

The kissing and caressing continued with greater freedom. Her hands made a tactile exploration of his hewed features, memorizing the cut of his jaw and the curve of his cheekbone and discovering the softness of his thick lashes. Lengthening shadows outside darkened the room as twilight purpled into night. Josh stirred, a hand smoothing the hair near her face.

“Are you hungry?” It was a very reluctantly issued question.

“No.” And she wondered if he had wanted her to say yes.

“Good.” Josh gave her the answer, a fire slumbering in his dark eyes. “I wasn't looking forward to making love on a full stomach."

The breath disappeared from her lungs. His arms tightened to keep her cradled against him as he rolled to his feet. Her hands automatically linked themselves around his neck. Familiarity with his surroundings allowed Josh to carry her to the bedroom without the benefit of a light.

Inside the room, he let her stand. His hands settled onto the soft points of her shoulders, kneading them lightly. Her heart was thudding against her ribs as Josh bent his head and kissed her with warm slow desire. Annette swayed toward him, but his hands kept her away. Lifting his head, he looked at her deeply.

With a slight pressure, he turned her in a half circle. His hands moved and Annette closed her eyes as they glided down her back, unzipping her dress. They came back to slide it off her shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. The semidarkness of the room added to the sensation of intimacy as Josh undressed her.

He carried her to the bed and stripped back the covers to lay her on the silkiness of the sheets. Kissing her, he sat on the edge of the bed, leaning to her. His hands made restless trails over her softly full curves, tingling her flesh wherever they touched.

When he straightened to sit erect, Annette reached out a hand, letting it trail over his hair-roughened chest. Josh finished unbuttoning the shirt and removed it, tossing it aside. His skin felt hot to the touch, on fire, as she was. The touch of her hand compelled him back to her.

His mouth rocked over hers, then wandered to the pulsing vein in her neck. Her hands moved restlessly over his shoulders, fingers running in and out of his thick hair. A quivering rush of emotion swelled within her when his hand cupped the roundness of a breast. As his mouth made a foray over its nubile peak, Annette sunk her teeth into her lower lip to silence the wanton murmurs of delight. His hard male lips came back to her throat as if to investigate the faint sounds.

“You are so incredibly beautiful, Annette,” he murmured huskily.

His words broke the lock she'd placed on her own voice. “I love you, Josh,” she whispered with overwhelming certainty.

He was motionless for an instant, his mouth against her skin but not caressing. Slowly he levered himself a foot away from her. Even in the darkness she was conscious of his gaze searching her face. At first she thought he didn't believe, her. Her lips parted to reaffirm the statement.

But Josh spoke first, a rather weary, “I should have known.” He sat the rest of the way up.

Annette was bewildered. “What do you mean?” she murmured. He hadn't turned away from her or stopped looking at her.

“Why did you choose this particular minute to say that?” he asked.

“Because it's what I feel.” She frowned her confusion. “I thought I should tell you."

“But why now?” Josh persisted.

“What difference does it make?” She didn't understand what possible significance that had. A coolness began to drift over her naked flesh without the arousing warmth of his hands to shut it out. “You aren't making any sense.” She didn't like being on the defensive. And why did she have to defend her love for him? “Why are you cross-examining me? What's your reason for subjecting me to the third degree all of a sudden?” she challenged him.

“And I'm questioning your motive for declaring your love for me at that precise moment,” Josh replied grimly, and reached over to switch on the lamp by the bed.

It bathed Annette in its light, suddenly making her self-conscious of her nudity when she hadn't been before. Instinct had her reaching for the covers and pulling them over her to hide her nakedness from his eyes.

“There wasn't any motive,” she protested. “I just wanted to tell you."

Looking at him in the light, she could see the effects of their lovemaking. His mahogany-dark hair was rumpled from her raking fingers. Passion continued to lurk in the corners of his velvet brown eyes. There was a sensual fullness to his masculine lips, a direct result of their many kisses. Yet he wasn't holding her or touching her or making any attempt to eliminate the small distance between them in the bed.

“I suppose you didn't have it in mind to declare your love just before we had sex for the first time in order to implant a subconscious guilt in me because I was taking your virginity.” The quietness of his voice seemed to carry an accusing ring. “Afterward were you hoping to make use of that guilt by applying a little emotional blackmail to persuade me to marry you?"

“No.” Annette denied the allegation. “I didn't have anything like that planned."

“Then you aren't expecting me to marry you?” Josh asked for a clarification.

That was one she couldn't give. It caused her to falter, betraying herself. She looked at him, searching his features for some sign of emotion for her.

“Don't you want to marry me?” she murmured with a sinking heart.

“No.” His reply was brutally simple.

“But—” A hard lump welled in her throat. Annette had to pause to swallow it. “I thought...” She tried again. “This afternoon you asked if I would be interested in having your baby."

A wry kind of amusement flickered across his features. “Annette, that was another way of asking to make love to you,” he explained with droll patience. “That is how babies are made, but I have absolutely no intention of getting you pregnant."

To her shame, Annette realized she had read into his question something he hadn't meant at all. She, who had prided herself on being so clever, had just made an incredibly stupid error. She felt sick. She stared at the sheet, her eyes burning with hot tears that wouldn't fall.

“I didn't understand what you meant,” she admitted stiffly.

“You know I've made love to other women in the past,” Josh stated his own experience. “Haven't you considered how many other women have lain in this bed with me?"

Part of her wanted to cover her ears to shut out the things he was saying. And another part wanted out of the bed he had shared with someone else. It made her feel unclean.

“No, I haven't.” There was a hoarseness in her voice. “I thought I was different ... special.” The bitterness of self-conceit coated her tongue.

“Because you are a virgin?” Josh took a deep breath and released it in a heavy sigh. “Annette, men have had virgins before, and not married them."

“All ... all you wanted was an affair.” She nearly choked on the word, still unable to look at him, her stomach churning.

“Yes."

“Why didn't you tell me that?” Annette protested on a surge of anger.

“Because, until this afternoon, I thought you knew,” he replied.

“Well, I didn't!” she flashed. “Where are my clothes? I want my clothes."

The mattress shifted beneath her as Josh stood up and walked to her pile of clothes in the middle of the floor. He took his time picking them up, then held them, his hand moving as if he were mentally weighing them. Returning to the bed, he offered them to her. Annette felt hot under his steady regard. One hand clutched the covers while she reached out with the other to snatch her clothes from his hand.

“Turn around so I can get dressed,” she ordered harshly.

Josh shook his head in mocking amazement. “It's a little late for modesty, Annette, What more could I possibly see that I haven't already seen?"

“Just turn around,” she said, because the circumstances were vastly different to her.

His mouth curved in a humorless line of resignation and he turned his back to her. Annette slipped from beneath the covers and began hurriedly to dress. She was unbearably conscious of Josh standing nearby, naked from the waist up. Even though he wasn't watching her she was uncomfortable. Yet something was nagging at her—something Josh had said that didn't make sense.

She was about to pull the dress over her head when she remembered. Stopping, she brought the dress down and stood there in her slip. Her gaze slid to his wide shoulders and tapered back.

“Why did you say that you thought I knew you were only interested in an affair until this afternoon?” She stressed the time frame.

“After I left you today, I had a visitor,” he replied.

“Who?” Annette demanded. “Why should that have made a difference?"

Impatience rippled through his frame. “This is ridiculous,” he muttered. “I'm not going to talk to the wall. Whether you like it or not, I'm turning around.” Josh pivoted to face her, his gaze automatically raking her partially clad figure.

“Who came to see you?” Annette repeated the question, a gnawing suspicion already forming, but she wanted to be wrong.

“Your father,” Josh answered.

She felt as if a thousand-ton weight had just landed off her. Her head moved to the side in a dull reaction. “He came to see you?” She didn't want to ask why.

“He wanted to find out my intentions toward you,” he said, explaining the reason for her father's visit, one she had already guessed. “It came as a shock when he suggested you were thinking in terms of marriage, since the possibility never crossed my mind."

She wished Josh wouldn't keep repeating that. “Why didn't you tell me about my father's visit when I arrived here tonight?"

A wryness stole across his expression. “Because I wanted you. So—” one shoulder lifted in an expressive shrug"—I half convinced myself that your father didn't know what he was talking about. I think fathers would sometimes prefer their girls to become nuns. I told myself that he made up this marriage thing because he couldn't accept the idea of your having an affair.” Josh paused to study her. “It didn't occur to me that you didn't know the score."

“Until I said that I loved you,” Annette remembered, unable to make up her mind whether she wished she could retract those words. She was hurting inside and the backlash from the pain was anger.

“That was the wrong timing,” he said. “You wanted me to say I loved you then, didn't you?"

“Only if you meant it,” she retorted, and yanked the dress over her head, pulling the skirt past her hips with a careless regard for the rich silk material.