That Infamous Pearl (25 page)

"Nonetheless, it
was indiscreet. I will not have you giving rise to rumors with your impetuous
behavior."

"If anyone's
behavior is gossiped about tonight, it will be yours," Rowena snapped out.
"You practically allowed yourself to be seduced in the middle of the
ballroom by Mrs. Peckham. Your behavior was disgusting. I am sure that everyone
was taking careful note of it."

Alaric folded his
arms over his chest. "You must realize by now, Rowena, that a woman's
behavior is judged much more harshly than a man's. I may conduct myself as I
please, while you are not free to do so."

"Until I give
you a son, you mean. After that, I suppose you will allow me to carry on with
as many men as I please. Perhaps I will rival Mrs. Peckham in the number of
lovers I take!"

Alaric shrugged. "I
would never allow my wife to behave in such a manner. Mrs. Peckham is amusing,
of course, but I expect higher standards from my wife."

Rowena felt like
screaming. Alaric's calmness was infuriating, and the superior look he bent on
her made her itch to slap him.

"I don't care
what you expect, Alaric," she said sharply. "I cannot live up to the standards
you set because they are unrealistic. You have a totally false vision of me. I
have told you the truth again and again, and you refuse to believe me. Why
should I obey your ridiculous rules now?"

"And why should
I believe your protestations of innocence? You have told me far too many lies
for me to believe you."

Alaric's eyes
narrowed as he gazed at her. She was too lovely, he thought angrily. He shouldn't
care with whom she strolled onto the balcony, but he did, and desperately. It
had taken all of his control not to smash Grantly's frightened face with his
fist.

"I was wrong to
lie to you, I have admitted that. I only wanted to wait until all was well with
Malcolm. Surely you must understand that, Alaric."

"I understand
that you place your brother before your husband, and that you always have."

Rowena stamped her
foot. "You are unbearably stubborn. I cannot tolerate this for another
moment. You will obviously believe as you choose, but you have no right to
dictate my actions to me. If I want to stand on the balcony with Mr. Grantly, I
shall."

Alaric took a step
closer and stood staring down at her. His eyes were very cold. "You will
do no such thing. If you attempt it, Rowena, you will not like what happens."

"As though it
matters," cried Rowena. "As though watching you flirt with Mrs.
Peckham while you treat me so unkindly is not enough punishment. Do you think I
enjoy watching you, Alaric?"

"I think that
you married me solely in an attempt to gain revenge for your brother. I cannot
imagine why my talking to other women might upset you."

Rowena bit her lip. This
was certainly no time to admit that she loved her husband; he was so angry with
her that he would only use the information to hurt her.

"It is unkind of
you to hold me up to ridicule," she said. "You use me as you would a
mistress; I see nothing of you unless you wish to make love to me. Am I nothing
more to you than that?"

Alaric stiffened. "I
treat you as I would a mistress?" he repeated. He glared at her. "You
don't know what you're talking about, Rowena. The world of those women is
something you could never imagine."

"It must
certainly be preferable to the way you treat me," Rowena retorted. "At
least you show them some kindness from time to time, I imagine. I have had
nothing from you but coldness this past week."

"And you believe
you deserve more?" asked Alaric, his voice filled with contempt.

"I am your wife,
not your mistress. You should treat me decently, and trust me. I meant only to
be helpful, Alaric. You cannot truly think I wanted to harm you."

"Yes, you are my
wife." Alaric looked at her thoughtfully. "And I treat you very well,
Rowena. You have anything you might ask for, and are respected because of who
you are. You have nothing in common with my mistresses."

"I would rather
be your mistress," said Rowena angrily. "At least then when you came
to me at night you might pay some attention to me."

Alaric gave a short
laugh and seized her arm. "Come with me, Rowena."

She pulled back,
unwilling to accompany him. "I wish to remain here."

"You will come
with me now, Rowena, and quietly, or I will pick you up and carry you. Do you
understand?"

Rowena looked up into
his implacable face and saw that he meant what he had said. Alaric was stubborn
enough to carry her, protesting, through a ballroom. He wouldn't care in the
least what anyone said about it.

"Very well,"
she said with ill grace.

Alaric hurried her
back into the ballroom and out of the building, without even pausing to say
good night to their hostess. Rowena glared at him as he thrust her into their
carriage.

"Where are we
going?" she asked.

"Home." Alaric
folded his arms across his chest and gazed at her. It was obvious that he had
no intention of explaining anything to her. Rowena shrugged and looked out the
windows, ignoring him as much as she could.

When they reached
their house Alaric assisted her out of the carriage and into the front hall. He
looked at Ferguson, who was standing nearby.

"Is the supper
ready?" he asked.

"Of course, sir,"
he answered. "It is awaiting you in the upstairs sitting room."

Alaric nodded. "I
took the liberty of asking Cook to prepare a small supper for us to enjoy after
the ball. Come along."

He seized Rowena's
elbow and hurried her up the stairs to the sitting room. Rowena looked around,
momentarily charmed. A fire was lit in the grate and candles burned brightly in
the wall sconces, illuminating the charmingly furnished room. A table sat near
the fire, covered with brilliant white linens and sparkling silver and crystal,
and an elegant dinner was spread out and waiting for them. She drew in a tiny
breath of surprise.

"Alaric, why did
you do this? I thought..."

Alaric frowned at
her. "I meant to discuss with you calmly exactly how we would conduct our
marriage. Believe it or not, I am unhappy as you are with the situation we find
ourselves in, and wished to come to some sort of an understanding in which we
could at least live with one another comfortably. But then tonight I find out
that you think I have been treating you as I would a mistress. You have a great
deal to learn, Rowena."

"I don't see
why," said Rowena. "You use your mistresses for your pleasure, and
that is how you have been using me. Can you deny it?"

Alaric grimaced. Try
as he might, and despite the obvious availability of Mrs. Peckham, it was only
Rowena he wanted. He hated the thought that she still had this power over him,
despite her duplicity and the way in which she had treated him. It was as
though he had no control over his own desires, he thought resentfully.

"Perhaps you
would like to know how I might treat a woman I had bought and paid for,"
murmured Alaric. "What if you were totally in my power, with no recourse,
no family, no money? What if I were to tell you that you would take off your
clothes and service me, now, this moment, whether you chose to or not?"

Rowena stepped back,
frightened by the black look on his face. She had never seen Alaric like this,
not even when he was at his most angry with her.

"Stay away from
me!" she exclaimed, backing further away as quickly as possible. She
looked nervously towards the door.

Alaric gave a
humorless laugh. "You see, I haven't treated you as poorly as you think.
If you ever truly wished to turn me away, I would honor that. But you have
never made me think that that was what you wanted." He moved closer to
her, the terrible expression receding from his face, and lay his hands on her
shoulders.

She shuddered, and
then looked up at him as he leaned over her, wondering if he was still angry
with her.

Alaric gazed down at
her and fought the desire to pull her into his arms and hold her close. She was
so desirable, so lovely, so tantalizing, and it tore at him to think that she
had deceived him. How could he live knowing that he needed her but couldn't
trust her?

"Tell me what is
wrong, Alaric," she said softly. "We must defeat what has come
between us. I can't live this way any longer."

"Nor can I,"
said Alaric. He led her to the table and seated her, and then took the chair
across from her and looked at her thoughtfully.

"Alaric, I
cannot go on this way," said Rowena. "I'm sorry I lied to you, but I
did not mean to hurt you. If you cannot believe that, then I think that it is
best that I go away. I inherited some of my mother's lands; I have a home of my
own in Yorkshire. If I went there you would not have to see me, and I would not
have to watch you with...with other women. Perhaps that would be for the best.
I could continue to pursue my father's studies. He said I had the making of a
scholar."

She looked up to find
that Alaric was staring at her in amazement. Her offer had taken him completely
off guard. He could never let her go far away, he knew, because his need for
her was almost overpowering. But he also realized, with a sudden flash of
insight, that if she left him she could not continue to pursue her revenge. Why
was she offering to go away?

"Surely you do
not mean to go into permanent retirement?" he asked.

Rowena shrugged. "There
is nothing here in London for me. You no longer spend time with me, and if
Malcolm is to be a life-long outcast I will be unable to see him, anyway. At
least in Yorkshire I wouldn't have to put up with the gossip and the pity."

"And what of me?"
asked Alaric.

Rowena looked
surprised. "I may have already conceived, and if I have not you may come
to Yorkshire from time to time in order to--well, to--I am sure you understand
me, Alaric."

She looked down at
her hands. In a perverse way she hoped she was not pregnant; as long as Alaric
needed a child he would still spend at least some time with her. She knew that
she would be able to occupy her time in Yorkshire with her studies and duties
on the estate, but she would miss Alaric dreadfully; he had become an integral
part of her life. But perhaps it would be better if she gave him a son quickly.
If he continued to come in and out of her life, each new separation would be
renewed agony.

Alaric frowned. "What
makes you think I wish to be separated from you?"

"You can hardly
tell me that your recent behavior is designed to make me think you enjoy my
company," said Rowena, some of her spirit returning. "I have been
miserable this past week. I would prefer it if you would stop punishing me and
let me go away."

Alaric shook his
head. He had a sudden blinding vision of what his life would be like without
Rowena. He would return to his collecting, which he now realized he had not
thought about at all in the past two months. He had not added a single item to
his collection since he had begun his pursuit of Rowena. He would return to his
mistresses and his long nights at his club, or visit gambling dens with
Charles, or attend prizefights. There would be no one to share his afternoons
with, or to sleep with at night, and no one to frustrate him and make him
laugh. He glared at Rowena. How had she managed to insinuate herself so
thoroughly into his life in such a short period of time?

"Believe me,
Rowena, if I meant to punish you, it would be much more severe," he grated
out.

"Well, it feels
like punishment," said Rowena. "I can't bear to be treated so coldly,
to know that you think I have been lying to you, that you don't believe my
affection for you is honest. I miss the time we used to spend together, Alaric,
and the fun we had."

"You think I'm
fun?" said Alaric slowly. No one had ever suggested that before.

"Of course I do,"
said Rowena. "Why else would I have allowed you to spend so much time with
me when we first met? I was bored to tears in London before I met you."

Alaric ran a hand
through his hair. Rowena looked like some sort of nymph, sitting on the couch
across from him, her nakedness covered only by his coat. With a sense of
annoyance, he realized he was becoming aroused again.

"You cannot go
away," he said abruptly.

Rowena looked
startled. "Surely you don't want to continue living this way," she
answered softly. "Perhaps it is not as unpleasant for you as it is for me,
but this cannot be the way you wish to conduct our lives."

"It is very
unpleasant for me," Alaric snapped. "But we are married and we shall
live together."

"Alaric, I cannot,"
whispered Rowena. "Please let me go."

Alaric stood up. Her
evident unhappiness tore at him. Did she want to leave because she hated him
and knew he had won the little game she was playing? Or did she perhaps truly
care for him and was hurt by his coldness?

"Rowena, why do
you want to leave me?" he demanded. "Surely if you mean to pursue
your aim of clearing Malcolm's name, then you would need to remain in London."

"As long as you
do not trust me, there is nothing I can do," cried Rowena. "I hoped to
find the true criminal with your help, but you believe I wish to hurt you. What
can I do? I would rather be far away, where I do not have to see how much you
hate me."

"I don't hate
you," Alaric ground out.

Rowena looked up. "You
don't?"

"No, I don't. I don't
know what I think anymore, thanks to you. You have completely turned my life
upside down. I was once a very satisfied man, Rowena--or at least my life was
ordered--and now I don't know what to believe."

"But you don't
hate me," repeated Rowena.

"God help me,
no." Alaric sat down again and stared at her.

Rowena reached out
tentatively and laid a hand on his arm. "Do you think that you might come
to trust me again?"

"Aren't you
asking a bit much?" said Alaric grimly.

"Alaric, I have
never tried to hurt you. I promise that I was not plotting against you with
Malcolm. You believed Lady Bingham instead, when you know that she will do
anything to hurt our marriage. I know you are angry with me, but it hurts that
you would take her word before mine. Please try to understand why I behaved as
I did. If you would only agree to meet with Malcolm, and speak to him, perhaps
the two of you could come to believe in each other's innocence."

Alaric shook his head
slowly. "No matter what conclusion I come to, Rowena, your brother will
never believe that I am not a killer. He has hated me for years."

"I had almost
convinced him that day in Green Park until you arrived and made him so angry,"
said Rowena. "He wants to believe me, I think. I am his sister, after all.
He wouldn't want me to be married to a killer. And he knows that I believe in
you."

Alaric drew a deep
breath. If she was leading him into another trap he stood a good chance of
being made a fool of again. But her arguments were persuasive. Why should he
put more faith in Lady Bingham's word than in Rowena's? He knew from experience
that Rowena was by far the more honorable woman, and that Marguerite would do
anything she could to hurt him. She had been trying to drive a wedge between
him and Rowena for months. Had he allowed her to succeed at last?

Rowena's violet eyes
shimmered with tears. "Please, Alaric. If we can put this matter behind
us, it will make a great difference in our lives. I would do anything to repair
the harm I have caused, but there is no way I can make it better except by
convincing you that I speak the truth. Please meet with my brother."

"What makes you
think Malcolm will wish to meet with me?"

Rowena grimaced. "He
won't; he is almost as stubborn as you. But he knows that he can never come home
until this mystery is fully solved. That will be enough inducement for him."

Alaric shrugged.
Perhaps he was being an idiot, walking into a trap with his eyes wide open. But
he couldn't stand being estranged from Rowena. He had to know for sure if she
was honest or not. This was the only way to find out.

"I will meet
with Malcolm," he said softly. "But," he added, raising his
voice as Rowena gave a tiny shriek of excitement, "But that does not mean
that I will believe him."

"I am sure you
will be convinced, Alaric." Rowena bobbed up and down with joy. "Thank
you, Alaric. You will not regret this, I promise you."

She stood suddenly
and rushed to him, wrapping her arms around his neck. After a moment's
hesitation, he stood and placed his arms around her and drew her close.

"I hope not,"
he said. "And in the meantime, I think we should get you to bed."

Rowena looked up and
smiled. "Only if you come with me."

"Trust me. You
will not be alone tonight." Alaric swept her up in his arms and carried
her out of the room.