That Night With the Rich Rancher (14 page)

When she crawled into bed, it was almost four in the morning. As soon as her head touched the pillow, memories of better moments with Tony bombarded her. Then she thought about tonight with him and felt her anger return.

* * *

The next day she sent a text to Abe that she couldn’t work. She needed to tell him about her pregnancy, but she had to get a grip on her emotions. When she talked to Abe, she had to be able to tell him that she had decided to turn the daily running of the ranch over to him, and she had to be able to say it without tears. She loved her ranch, working on it, raising her horses, dealing with livestock and making decisions. Her land was beautiful to her, spreading endlessly to a blue horizon with gorgeous sunrises and sunsets. Tony wasn’t going to marry and take that away from her.

She had been nauseated after breakfast this morning and she wondered if that was something she would have every morning. She needed to find a Dallas doctor, as well as decide where she would live in her ninth month.

Three days later she still hadn’t told Abe anything except that she couldn’t work. Soon he would come to see about her, but she dreaded telling him. He could keep it quiet, that she could count on. But him knowing just made it more real.

She tried to do some of her paperwork, but she couldn’t keep her mind on it. There was no call from Tony, but that didn’t surprise her. What did surprise her was how much she missed him.

She sat staring into space and thinking about Tony. If she wouldn’t marry him, would it hurt when he married later? Would she be able to watch him go out of her life except when it was necessary to see him because of their child?

She hadn’t considered that before and it hurt to think of Tony marrying someone else. If the thought of Tony marrying hurt, how much did she really care for him? Could she be in love with him?

No way she could be in love with him. He was too authoritative, too opinionated, so certain he was always right. There was a point where all her affection and his appeal came to a stop.

They would have their lives tied together for years to come, but going out with each other the way they had been had ended. She saw that clearly and felt it was for the best. Just as swiftly, she felt a pang at the thought of not going out with him, of not making love to him. Startled, she shook her head. Life with Tony was over and that was the way she wanted it. She would stop missing him soon.

And what about Tony? He might want out of seeing her just as much. He had been in shock last night. The proposal had been a knee-jerk reaction. Now that he was home to think things through alone, his conclusions about the future might have changed.

The idea made her feel even more forlorn, as if she were losing someone important. As the day passed, she tried unsuccessfully to shake the feeling of loss. How long would it be before she stopped missing him?

Ten

A
s each day passed, Tony tried to adjust to the situation. Without thinking, too often he reached for his phone to call Lindsay only to stop himself. He’d reminded himself how mulish she could be. But that didn’t stop him from missing her.

Friday afternoon, the second of October, when he returned from work he saw Lindsay’s pickup on his drive.

His heart jumped and he sped up his steps, all tiredness leaving him instantly. Lindsay stepped out of her pickup and his breath caught in his throat. She wore tight jeans, a clinging red T-shirt with a vee neckline. Her hair was in the usual braid and she had a wide-brimmed brown hat on her head. She looked great to him and his pulse raced as eagerness to talk to her made him walk even faster.

“Hi,” he said as he approached, smiling.

She gave him a fleeting smile and he drew a deep breath because she kept a wall between them. He could feel her coolness toward him and knew there was a specific reason for her visit.

“Come in, Lindsay.”

“No, I just thought I’d stop in and talk in person instead of on the phone, but this won’t take long. Now that my waist is getting a bit bigger—”

He looked down at her and wondered if she could even be one inch larger. “You don’t look it.”

“I feel it. Anyway, as I was saying, now that I’m getting bigger, I want to tell my family that I’m pregnant and I want to tell Abe and the guys.”

“Lindsay, have you even thought about our baby?”

Her eyes narrowed and her cheeks flushed. He was certain she would start yelling at him any minute. He struggled to keep his temper.

“Yes, I have,” she said. “I still don’t want to marry you. You would want to take charge of every detail of my life and of our child’s upbringing. Hell, no, I’m not marrying you.”

“You’re so damn stubborn, you’d mess up your own life.”

“It still is my ‘own life.’ Are you okay with telling our families? I’ll just tell them that we’re working out our plans. They’ll accept what I tell them.”

“That’s probably a good idea, because you need to get a doctor and word has a way of spreading, especially when it’s about babies. I’ll tell my family, too. And Keane and the guys. And I’ll tell all of them I asked you to marry me and you said no—but that opens you up to some pressure.”

“No more than I’ll get anyway.” She opened the door to her pickup. “Thanks, Tony. We got that settled.”

He put his hand on her door and blocked her way from climbing in.

“It doesn’t have to be this way.”

“I don’t see how things can be any other way,” she said. He dropped his hand and held the door for her while she climbed in.

“Bye,” he said as he closed the door, feeling as if this was a real and lasting farewell. That any intimacy or closeness they’d shared—the laughter and joy and steamy sex—all of it was over. Stepping away, he rested his hands on his hips as he watched her drive away, heading back to the county road to go home to her ranch. As her pickup widened the distance between them, he knew he would always remember the day she drove out of his life. He didn’t think they would ever be close again. A cloud of gloom, along with his anger, settled on him as he entered the house.

The following week, Tony saw he had a text from his sister, Madison; she wanted to come see him. With a sigh he sent her a text in return.

Yes, you can come see me. Tonight’s fine. Tomorrow morning is fine. Take your pick or suggest a time.

They had finally settled on early Saturday. He waited on the porch because it was a cool, sunny morning.

He watched Madison come up the walk. Her brown hair was in a ponytail. She wore jeans and a tan cotton shirt that was not tucked into her jeans. In spite of hiding her waist, it was obvious she was months along in her pregnancy. He placed his arm around her shoulders to give her a brief hug, then led her inside the house. “Haven’t seen you in a while. I have breakfast ready. Or anything else you’d like.”

“I’ve had breakfast. I’ll just have a glass of ice water. It’s a beautiful morning and what is even more wonderful is that rain is predicted next week—they give it a twenty-percent chance.”

“If it actually happens, I’m going out to just stand in it. Might take a picture of it since it’s been so long since I’ve seen any.”

She smiled. “Is Gwynne here?”

“Not on Saturday. How are you feeling?”

“Fine. Just bigger by the day.” She faced him, her green eyes sparkling. “Tony, congratulations. I’ve talked to you on the phone, but I wanted to tell you in person. I’m so happy for you and Lindsay. I know you have things to work out, but you will. A baby is so wonderful.”

“Thanks, Madison. It’s sort of a mixed blessing at this point in my life.”

“It’s an enormous blessing. And our babies will not be so far apart in age,” she said, rubbing her stomach lightly.

“I can’t think that far ahead,” he remarked drily. “I’m just getting accustomed to this becoming-a-dad business.”

She laughed and accepted the glass of water as he handed it to her. “I’ll carry your coffee, Tony,” she said as he helped himself to scrambled eggs from a pan on his stove. He added a piece of ham and picked up a slice of toast.

“I’m set. It’s beautiful outside. Let’s sit on the porch.”

As soon as they were seated at a glass-topped iron table, he sipped his coffee and sat in silence, certain she had a mission.

“Tony, any chance you want some sisterly advice?”

“Actually, no,” he said, smiling at her, “but since this drive to visit me was unprecedented and a little difficult for you under the circumstances, I’m sure I’m going to get some.”

“I’m just concerned. And Jake is concerned about his sister. She’s hurting, and I came to see for myself how you’re faring.”

“I’m faring fine,” he said, startled to hear about Lindsay. He’d figured she had gotten on with her life and wasn’t giving much thought to him. He knew she had stopped working with the men.

“Mike Calhoun’s wife is expecting her baby this month, which is exciting. We’ll have the three new babies, plus Cody and Scotty. Our families are growing and I think it’s exciting and wonderful.”

He smiled at her. “At the moment, you’re in love with Jake, having his baby, and the whole world looks rosy to you,” he said, studying her and realizing she looked happier and prettier than ever before.

“You’re right,” she agreed. “Are you okay?”

“I’m absolutely fine. And you’re looking good yourself. I think marriage and motherhood really suit you.”

“I’m happy, Tony. So happy with Jake,” she said.

“Our dad should have stayed out of your lives and not deceived you about Jake, as well as driving him away,” Tony said quietly. “I don’t know how you can ever forgive him. Dad and I have butted heads since I was able to talk back to him. I paid for it, but I never got along with him the way Wyatt and Nick did.”

“Wyatt is quiet and peaceful. Nick’s the politician who’s going to please the world and he started by pleasing Dad. And I always, well, until high school, did what he wanted. I never dreamed he would interfere in my life the way he did.” Her frown disappeared and she smiled. “That’s over. Jake and I are married, having a baby and I’m happier than I ever dreamed possible.” Impulsively, she reached out to squeeze her brother’s hand. “I hope you find that with Lindsay, Tony. You can’t imagine how wonderful marriage can be.”

He laughed. “I do believe you’re in love, sis. That’s good. You and Jake deserve all the happiness in the world. I’m amazed Jake hasn’t punched Dad out.”

“Jake isn’t going to hit an elderly man, much less hit my father.”

“He has a right to.”

“Whatever,” she said, flipping back her hair. “Anyway, I’m glad to hear you’re okay. I just wanted to see for myself. I’m excited our babies will be fairly close in age. December and May aren’t really far apart after the first year or two.”

“Madison, you didn’t drive out here to tell me how thrilled you are about our babies being close in age. You could have done that on the phone.”

“Well, I more or less did. And to see if you’re okay.”

“I’m quite okay. But what’s wrong with Lindsay?”

“I think she’s just unhappy.”

“Well, Jake should realize that being pregnant has put a big crimp in her lifestyle. For corn’s sake, look how she’s always lived—like one of the guys. Suddenly, she’s a woman and her body has limitations because of her pregnancy. She’s not accustomed to that, didn’t expect it and evidently is having difficulty adjusting to it.”

“Just be nice to her, Tony. It’s a big change and for Lindsay, without a husband, without planning for a baby, changing her entire life and future is an enormous upheaval.”

“She’ll adjust. And she could have a husband if she wanted,” he said, unable to keep the bitterness out of his voice. “She turned me down absolutely. Lindsay will handle this just like she handles everything else—in full control.”

“You think a lot of her, don’t you?” Madison asked.

“Sure, I do. Every rancher in the area does. She’s capable and intelligent.”

“You didn’t take her out because she’s capable and intelligent.”

He laughed. “No, she can be fun and pretty.”

“Lindsay has the looks of a model when she wants to. I saw her at the auction. Anyway, you be nice to her. She needs you now.”

“I’ll be nice to Lindsay,” he said with amusement. “Though I don’t think she needs me or wants to see me or talk to me.”

Madison sat quietly so long that he turned to look at her. “What?” he asked.

She stood. “I’ve seen that you’re doing fine. I don’t want to pry into your life with Lindsay. I just want you to know that I’m excited about your baby. I should go home now.”

“That was a short visit, but I’m glad you came. Madison, let me know when Mike’s baby is born. I might not hear about it.”

“Lindsay will tell you,” she said.

“Lindsay isn’t going to tell me one damn thing.”

Madison looked startled and stared at him intently.

“We don’t speak, we don’t see each other. It’ll have to change later, but that’s the way she wants it now.”

“Sorry to hear that. I’ll tell you about Mike and Savannah.” She gave him a hug, then leaned away to look intently at him again. “Be patient with Lindsay. This is a giant change for both of you.”

“Sure,” he answered, knowing his sister meant well. He stood on the porch and watched her drive away, his thoughts on Lindsay. Lindsay was unhappy? She did what she wanted to do.

And how unhappy was she? It had to be a lot to worry Jake enough to get Madison to drive out and talk to him. He wished Lindsay’s unhappiness was because she missed him, but he knew better. She was probably unhappy with him and unhappy she had to change her lifestyle.

He carried his dishes into his empty house. As he passed his landline, he stared at the phone, tempted to pick it up and call Lindsay to just talk. He missed her and every time he realized that he missed her, it surprised him.

How important had she become to him?

He couldn’t answer his own question.

* * *

The next week he threw himself into work, going to the corral to ride some of the unbroken horses at night with a few of the men who worked for him, just keeping busy. But none of it stopped the moments of longing for Lindsay.

Nights were long and unpleasant. He had always fallen into bed and been asleep instantly, sleeping soundly until early morning. Not anymore. His nights were filled with memories of Lindsay, dreams about her, moments of missing her.

The weekends were worse because he had no one he wanted to go out with. He missed her and the longing to see her intensified instead of diminished, until he finally sat up in bed one night, tossed back the covers and walked out on his porch.

The gray dog was still recovering, but better. The bandages were gone and his hair, where they’d had to shave it away to work on his cuts, was growing out again. He had gained weight and his coat was shiny now. Tony kept it brushed so it wasn’t a tangle.

Tony let him stay at the house with him. The dog seemed a faint tie to Lindsay, and Tony enjoyed having him around. When he went to the porch, the dog followed him, sitting with his head on Tony’s knee while Tony scratched his ears. “Maybe I should invite her over to see you,” he said to the dog, who wagged his bushy tail.

Tony sat quietly while he thought about Lindsay. He thought about her constantly each day. Was he in love with her and hadn’t realized it when it happened?

If he was, he didn’t know where it could lead. She was as stubborn as ever, refusing to give an inch, while she had accused him of being too take-charge and bossy. Plus, he was a rancher—the kind of man she said she would never marry.

He sat in the dark and mulled over his feelings for Lindsay and the problems between them.

Madison had said Lindsay was unhappy. Was their parting a cause of her unhappiness? Could he ever get past her stubborn nature? He had some of the time. His heartbeat quickened at the thought of getting past their problems. Could he think before he told her what she should do?

Could he live without her?

Was he in love with her?

Staring into the dark, he realized he was. He wanted her in his life. Lindsay would be a challenge, but if he loved her, he would cope with her. But could he get her to consider working with another rancher? That wasn’t impossible. He worked with them all the time and for that matter, she did, too.

Suddenly feeling better, he wanted to call her and he wanted to be with her. One thing he knew for certain: he didn’t want to lose her. Someone would come along and marry her and, at the thought, he felt as if he had been punched in his heart.

He needed to get her a ring and tell her how he felt and propose—for real this time. He had fallen in love with her and hadn’t even recognized the depth of his own feelings.

He remembered her call at three in the morning when the dog was howling. It was about four o’clock now. What would happen if he called her, told her he had to see her? Could he get her to listen to him and go out with him?

Or was she out of his life no matter what he felt for her?

* * *

Lindsay sat up and shook her hair back away from her face. She stared into the dark bedroom as she clutched the phone. “Tony?” she asked, sounding more alert. “It’s four in the morning. What’s wrong?”