The Accidental Mistress (23 page)

Lily would sometimes buy a few pence worth of flowers and had once been tempted to purchase a pair of beautiful yellow canaries. Ultimately she had decided against bringing the little birds into her home, though, for fear Mouser would take it in his head to stalk and eat them.

She could have gone to one of the parks, she supposed, and promenaded in fine style with the rest of the ladies and gentlemen. But she rather preferred being left to her own devises and musings without the need to pause every couple of minutes to engage in ten additional minutes of meaningless small talk.

This morning in particular she found herself in need of the exercise as well as the distraction. She had not slept well, her mind and body plagued by haunting, erotic dreams of Ethan that left her bleary-eyed and needy.

Last evening she had attended a rout and had seen him.

She'd been sipping a glass of sherry, waiting for her next partner to claim her for a dance, when she'd turned her head and found Ethan standing across the room. He'd been conversing with a ravishingly beautiful blond, smiling at whatever it was the other woman said.

Glancing up, his gaze had met her own, the smile falling from his countenance. For a long, almost painful moment, his eyes had lingered, his chin dipping in silent acknowledgment. Then he'd returned to his conversation and had not glanced at her again.

She'd waited for hours in a panic of anticipation, wondering how she would react when he sought her out. Would he ask her to dance? Would he try to lure her away to a private alcove or a shadowed garden to steal a few new kisses?

But as the evening wore on, he did none of those things, making no attempt to approach her. His response answered her earlier question about whether he'd forgotten her already. Apparently he had, his raw desire for her assuaged by their single night together at the inn. Her fault, she supposed, for having refused his offers.

Still …

When she'd called for her cloak, she'd vowed to be done with him, once and for all. But by the time she'd been tucked beneath the sheets, her eyelids lowered in sleep, the traitorous dreams had come.

Troubling her mind. Tormenting her body.

She'd awakened early, knowing she had to get up and out as soon as may be.

Turning her face to the sunlight now, she strode along, hoping each step would cleanse her spirit and drive away her distress. She was halfway around the square, nearing the Pendragons' townhouse, when the front door to the mansion opened.

The baroness emerged with her young son in her arms and a nursemaid trailing after. Behind them followed a tall, bald mountain of a man, an elegantly made wooden stroller held in his brawny arms. He carried it as though the contraption weighed no more than a matchstick. Negotiating the front steps with ease, he set down the little carriage on the sidewalk, then stood aside while the women tucked the toddler comfortably inside. The dark-haired child giggled, clapped, and kicked his small legs, clearly excited about the outing.

Beginning to feel a bit like an interloper, Lily decided she really ought to say something. "Good morning, my lady," she called, joining the group. "I see you are taking your boy for a stroll. Campbell, is it not?"

Julianna turned her head, her dark, faintly exotic beauty complimented by her indigo muslin day dress, the flowing skirt of the Empire-waist gown doing nothing to conceal the rounded shape of the new baby growing inside her.

A lively smile came to the baroness's mouth as she straightened to her full five feet one inch. "It is indeed. How do you do, Mrs. Smythe? Forgive me, but I only just noticed you. I hope you have not been standing there long."

Lily shook her head. "Only long enough to observe that you are very well occupied."

Lady Pendragon laughed in good-natured amusement. "Getting Cam and myself out of the house these days does tend to be an event."

"Cam!" the boy declared, thrusting his little arms into the air before bursting into a round of giggles, his vivid green eyes an exact replica of his father's.

Julianna's lips curved in an indulgent smile. "He is very taken with his name at the moment and uses it at every opportunity. His other favorite words are Mama, Papa, and Ben-Ben, who is his beloved stuffed bunny."

"Ben-Ben!" Cam repeated, the grin falling from his face a second later as he looked around, unable to locate the toy. "Ben-Ben. Ben-Ben."

"Some days I am not sure whom he loves more, Mama, Papa, or Ben-Ben," Julianna teased. Leaning over, she reached into the area of the stroller seat behind the child and extracted a floppy, brown velvet bunny with embroidered blue eyes and a pink nose and whiskers.

"Here he is, sweetheart," Julianna cooed, handing the well-worn toy to her son.

The boy hugged the bunny close. "Mama."

Lily laughed and leaned closer to waggle a set of fingers at the child.

Suddenly shy, he hid his face against the rabbit, peeking out at her from behind a set of long, floppy ears. His head popped up a second later, however, apparently recovered. "Cam!" he exclaimed.

Adorable,
Lily mused.
What would it be like to have one of my own? I suppose I shall never know considering I do not plan to marry.

An image of a child flashed inside her head, a tiny blond boy with hints of red in his hair, his face the image of Ethan.

Good God!

Her heart kicked, and she banished the fantasy.

"Well," she said, her voice strained. "I should let you continue on with your outing. I had no wish to intrude."

"Oh, you are not intruding at all. We are just going down the street. Are you headed in any particular direction?"

Lily shook her head. "No, I am merely taking a stroll."

"Then why do we not walk together, if you do not mind a slightly reduced pace? We are going to a confectioner's shop three blocks over. The proprietor sells the best caramels in London and lately I have been giving him a great deal of business." Julianna laid a palm over her protruding belly. "Terrible cravings, you see. Rafe advises me to send a footman 'round to purchase a fresh supply, but I fear I'll turn as round and ripe as a pear if I do not engage in a bit of exercise. And this way, I do not have to feel guilty when I eat the entire bag." She laughed.

Lily couldn't help but laugh with her, finding herself liking the other woman very much. Besides, company might help keep thoughts of Ethan at bay, which, considering her recent musings, would be a very good thing indeed.

"Yes, thank you," she agreed, "that would be lovely."

Julianna moved to take hold of the stroller bar so she could push her son, while Lily fell into step at her side. The maidservants walked behind, starting up a low-voiced conversation, while the huge bald man assumed a position at the rear of the group. Casting him a furtive glance, Lily repressed a shiver, his black eyes some of the most menacing she had ever seen.

Julianna apparently saw Lily's look. "Never mind Hannibal. He looks fearsome, but he's harmless. Well, mostly."

Having overheard, Hannibal scowled, his dark eyebrows boxing like a pair of pugilists on his forehead.

"Rafe feels better knowing I am accompanied," Lady Pendragon continued, "especially since I find myself with child again. It's easier to indulge him rather than squabble. Actually, when Rafe cannot accompany me, having Hannibal along can be very reassuring. There was a time … but that scarcely signifies now."

Pushing the stroller, the two of them continued onward.

"How do the lessons go, then? I heard Lord Vessey has been teaching you to drive."

So much for forgetting about Ethan,
Lily mused.

"The lessons are finished, my lady. Lord Vessey has deemed me fit to drive on my own."

"Well, congratulations! What a liberating talent to possess! You shall have to take me up one of these days. Perhaps we can go shopping."

"That would be delightful, though I have not yet purchased my own rig and team."

"Oh, I am certain Ethan would be most happy to assist you in that endeavor."

Lily made a noncommittal noise in response and turned the conversation to more neutral topics.

The confectioner's shop proved diverting, and surprisingly busy considering the early hour. Replete with caramels for both herself and the baroness, their small party made the return walk in complete accord.

When they reached the townhouse, Julianna invited her inside. "Oh, do come in. It will only take me a few minutes to settle Cam in his room; then we shall have tea and eat these sweets."

Lily hesitated, thinking of the household accounts she ought to be reviewing at home. With an inner shrug, she decided she could do them later. "Thank you, yes, I will."

* * * * *

"More tea?"

"Yes, please," Lily agreed, passing her cup to Lady Pendragon, or rather Julianna, as she now thought of her.

During the past two weeks, ever since she and Julianna had shared that first walk together, they had fallen into a pattern of sorts, strolling together in the mornings as often as their schedules permitted. Frequently little Cam and the rest of the entourage would accompany them. Afterward, Julianna always asked her in for tea, an invitation Lily accepted with alacrity.

Twice, Lord Pendragon had put aside his work to join them, charming Lily with his interesting conversation and intelligent observations. The way he treated his wife charmed her even more, his affection for Julianna unmistakable, his every gaze and gesture expressing the great depth of his love. And it was clear Julianna felt the same about him, her eyes gleaming with a happy inner light each time she so much as mentioned his name.

But more than love, Lily observed their commitment, saw the bond of loyalty, trust, and friendship that existed between them. Witnessing their happiness gave her pause, leaving her to wonder if she might have been too harsh in her former assessment of the marital state. Maybe all marriages were not the stuff of nightmare and misery such as she had observed growing up.

Still, Rafe and Julianna were an exception to the rule. Simply because they had been lucky enough to find lasting love did not mean such miracles happened to others. Finding real, genuine love was no more likely than being struck by lightning. Yet as improbable an occurrence as theirs might be, whenever she saw the Pendragons together, her thoughts eventually turned to Ethan, what-ifs drifting through her mind.

Though today she couldn't even use the couple as an excuse for her musings about him, since she and Julianna were on their own, Lord Pendragon apparently working in his study.

Widgeon,
she chastised herself.

Obviously Lord Vessey had found it easy to relegate her to his past, and she would be wise to do the same with him. Perhaps he was one of those men who enjoyed a woman's favors once, then moved on to another, like a hummingbird flitting from flower to flower, never returning to the same one twice.

Her chest pinched tight at the idea of him making love to someone else, and for an instant she could not breathe.

Stop it,
she warned.
He is not mine and never will be. Not that I want him to be, because I do not.

"Lily?" Julianna's voice cut into her musings.

She glanced up and found Julianna holding out the teacup she'd passed her moments ago, tiny spirals of steam curling off the top of the refreshed beverage.

"Thank you," she said, accepting the saucer and cup. Careful not to scald her mouth, she drank a slow sip.

"What were you thinking about just now?" her friend inquired.

"Nothing of any importance." She flashed a smile. "So, you were telling me about your home in West Riding."

"You are right, I was," Julianna agreed. With a proud smile, she launched into a description of her and Rafe's country estate.

Twenty minutes later, they were trading a tidbit of gossip about Caro Lamb's latest indiscretion in her illicit pursuit of Lord Byron when a quick rap of knuckles sounded at the door. Seated in a wing chair whose tall back shielded her from the room's entrance, Lily couldn't see who approached.

A second later, she didn't need to.

"Good morning, Julianna. Rafe said you were here," Ethan stated in his rich, unmistakable voice, his footsteps quiet on the carpet as his long legs carried him deeper into the room. "I thought I would pop up and say hello before I—Oh, I didn't realize you had company."

Her shoulder muscles tightened, sensing him standing near. Too near.

"Pardon the intrusion, ma'am," he said as he strode around to face her. "I—Lily!"

Raising her head, she met his gaze, fighting to slow her suddenly erratic pulse. "My lord."

Straightening, he executed an elegant bow, his hair and eyes fiercely gold against the dark brown cloth of his coat. "Mrs. Smythe, how do you do?"

She angled her chin. "Quite well, thank you."

Lily didn't ask how he did. She could see that for herself. If possible, he was even more beautiful than she remembered. Ridiculous, considering that little more than a week had passed since she had seen him from a distance at yet another ball. Nevertheless, he was delectable enough to make an ice woman melt. Holding herself firm, she did her best not to drip.

Julianna glanced between them. "Come, come," she invited. "Sit and visit with us."

His brows drew tight, then smoothed again with a clearly conscious effort. "I was just visiting Rafe. I cannot stay long."

"Long enough surely to enjoy a cup of tea." Julianna poured, adding a spoonful of sugar before extending the beverage to him.

Politeness dictated he accept. After a small hesitation, he took the saucer and cup, then lowered himself onto the sofa. His position put him in a direct line of sight with Lily.

She lowered her gaze.

He stirred his tea.

Julianna cleared her throat. "So, of what were you men talking?"

Ethan set his silver teaspoon onto the saucer with a faint click. "The usual. Business, politics, the latest million Rafe just made on the Exchange."

"Ah," Julianna said with a smile. "That would be the usual. Rafe does have a unique talent for acquiring wealth."