The Art of Life (90 page)

               
“Like
what?” I ask.

               
“Ugh,
stuff guys have on their computers.
 
I am
surprised with Jeremy being so private that he lets you use this.”

               
I
can’t help but snort.
 
“There is actually
nothing that Jeremy and I don’t know about each other.
 
We don’t hold things back anymore.”

               
Slowly,
she turns and looks at me.
 
“So, you know
about his past?
 
Like the mystery that is
Jeremy, you know it?”

               
“Yup,”
I articulate, “But I will never tell.”

               
“I
wasn’t asking you to.
 
I am just
surprised, that’s all.
 
It’s good that he
finally has someone he can connect to.
 
This doesn’t mean there is something going on between you two, right?”
Cassandra asks curiously.

               
That
makes me look to the side.
 
“There is
nothing going on.
 
Trust me, there will
never be something going on again.
 
Not
if I can help it.”

               
“Whoa,
slow down, again?
 
What do you mean
again?” Cassandra says.

               
“Oh,
nothing, never mind,” I stammer.
 
“What’s
the website?”

               
She
puts her hand on top of mine.
 
“No, fess up girl, what happened?”

               
“I
don’t want to talk about it,” I mumble.
 
“It still hurts.”

               
“What
did that shmuck do?” Cassandra snaps.

               
Vigorously,
I shake my head.
 
“He did nothing.
 
It isn’t anything he did on purpose.
 
It was just a mistake.”

               
“Isabelle,
you sound upset.
 
I really think you
should talk about it.”

               
I
take a deep breath in.
 
“A few weeks ago,
Jeremy came home drunk.
 
He was with
another girl in the living room and I interrupted them accidently.
 
So I came into my room to give them
privacy.
 
A few minutes later he was at
my door.
 
He sent the girl home, because,
he said, her touch was hollow, or something along those lines.
 
He asked if I ever just needed the touch of
someone, of someone who matters.
 
I got
upset, because obviously that has never happened to me.
 
The next thing I knew he was kissing me.”

               
“You
have kissed each other before though,” Cassandra points out.

               
“Umm
not with our tongues,” I retort.
 
“We
spent the night together.”

               
Practically
screaming, Cassandra yells, “YOU HAD SEX!”

               
“No!”
I exclaim, “No, no, no.
 
I think he
wanted to, but I said we needed to stop.
 
I mean, we had on everything but his shirt, which, let me tell you, made
it very difficult to keep my head straight.
 
Anyway, we were fully clothed but it wasn’t all innocent.
 
I have never experienced anything before, so it’s
difficult to describe it.”

               
“Okay,
but obviously he said something asinine to hurt your feelings about it.”

               
That
makes me click my tongue.
 
“Not exactly,
it’s worse than that, he doesn’t remember.”

               
There
is a really long pause.
 
“Let me guess,
you never told him what happened.”

               
Slowly,
I shake my head.
 
“What would I say?
 
It would just make things awkward.”

               
“Isabelle,
you should tell him.”

               
“No,”
I state harshly.
 
“He doesn’t need to
know, but I am going to make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

               
We
are silent for a minute and then Cassandra asks, “Was this before the night at
the club?”

               
“Yeah,”
I whisper.

               
“So,
the look on your face when he went and kissed that girl, it was because of all
that?” Cassandra inquires softly.

               
Wiping
away a tear that I didn’t even know was there, I whisper, “I guess.”

               
“You
care about him, don’t you?
 
As in more than friends.”

               
I
bite my lip and then shake my head.
 
“No,
no, it’s not like that.
 
It was just one
stupid night.”

               
“
Mmmhmmm
,” Cassandra hums.
 
“Well, I think you should tell him.
 
You shouldn’t have to hold onto this.
 
It’s not healthy.”

               
“No,”
I choke out.
 
“I can’t tell him.
 
He can’t know.
 
Promise
me,
swear to
me, that you won’t tell him.”

               
Sighing,
Cassandra nods her head.
 
“Okay, I
promise.”

               
“I
would rather him not know, than…..regret it,” I barely whisper.

               
“What
if he wouldn’t regret it?
 
Have you
thought about that?” Cassandra asks.

               
The
thought really has never crossed my mind.
 
“I don’t think I have ever even registered that idea.”

               
“Tell
him,” Cassandra urges.
 
“He cares about
you so much.
 
Nothing has scared him off
yet.
 
I don’t think this would.”
 
I slowly nod.
 
“Answer me one question.”

               
“What?”
I ask.

               
“How
often do you think about it?”

               
My
mouth opens, but I can’t speak.
 
“I don’t
understand…..”

               
“Just
keep it to yourself, but I want you to really think about how it makes you feel
when you think about what happened.
 
Not
his response, not what you are overthinking, but how HE made you feel.
 
I think you are lying to yourself Isabelle,”
Cassandra sighs.

               
There
seems to be no words after that.
 
We just
sit quietly staring at the wall.
 
Finally, I mumble, “What’s the website?”

               
“Here,”
Cassandra says, taking the computer.
 
“Let me show you how it’s done.”

               
We
go through dress after dress.
 
Some of
them are so bad we laugh until we cry, but then it’s like a light going
off.
 
We find the dress.
 
I exclaim, “Oh, oh, oh, that’s it!”

               
“It’s
gorgeous!” Cassandra agrees.

               
It
is a purple ball gown.
 
The top is a
crystal studded corset and the skirt is wispy layers down to the floor.
 
It is all marbleized deep, rich purples and
violets.
 
“Is it too much?”

               
“This
is a formal right?” Cassandra asks.

               
“Yeah,
there is a sit down dinner beforehand,” I reply.

               
Grinning,
Cassandra says, “Then that’s the dress.”

               
She
clicks on it and then my eyes bulge.
 
“Dear lord, that dress is 600 dollars!
 
Jeremy would kill me!”

               
“No,
he wouldn’t.”

               
I
am about to argue and then I stop.
 
“Yeah, you are probably right, but he did just spend a lot of money on a
car for me.”

               
“Yeah,”
Cassandra agrees.
 
“Where in the world
did he get the money for that?”

               
“He
saves really well,” I answer.
 
“We are
making payments.
 
I am still going to
call him about the dress.”
 
Picking up my
phone, I dial his number.
 
It rings and
rings and then I hear it pick up.
 
There
is just a lot of background noise.
 
“Jeremy?”

               
There
is some laughing and then, “Yeah, what’s up?”

               
“Umm,
not to bother you, but I found a dress.”

               
“Uh
huh,” he responds, as there is more laughter.

               
That
makes me pause because it’s like he isn’t paying attention.
 
“And I have been abducted by aliens.”

               
After
a loud outburst of noise, Jeremy says, “What?”

               
Why
is this aggravating me?
 
“I found a
dress,” I emphasize.

               
“A dress?
 
OH, yeah, okay…….why
are
you calling me then?” He asks.

               
“
Geesh
, I didn’t know I needed a reason to call you,” I
retort harshly, probably too harshly.
             

               
“Hold
on babe,” I hear him say.
 
There is a lot
of background noise and then I hear silence.
 
“Now, what’s going on?”

               
Almost
pouting I reply, “I didn’t mean to bother you.”

               
Jeremy
chuckles.
 
“You aren’t bothering me.
 
I just couldn’t hear you and a million people
were talking at once.”

               
“Oh,”
I say quietly.
 
“Where are you?”

               
“The
strip club,” Jeremy states.

               
 
Nearly dropping the phone, I yell, “You are at
a strip club!?”

               
Cassandra
sits up.
 
“They are WHAT!?”

               
“Yeah,”
Jeremy says.
 
“Why?
 
What’s wrong with that?”

               
“What
do you mean, what’s wrong with that?
 
There are a million things wrong with that!”

               
Yanking
out her cell phone, Cassandra hisses.
 
“I
am going to kill my fiancée.”

               
“Uh
oh,” I articulate.
 
“Cassandra is calling
Kent.”

               
Suddenly,
Jeremy exclaims, “No, no, no!
 
Stop her!
I was kidding!”

               
I
grab her hand.
 
“He was joking.”

               
She
snatches my phone away from me.
 
“That is
not funny Jeremy!”
 
There is a
pause.
 
“Yeah, I didn’t think Kent would,
but I don’t know about you and Josh!”
 
She glares at the wall.
 
“I did
not find it humorous.
 
Fine,” Cassandra
thrusts the phone at me.

               
Taking
it from her, I giggle.
 
“You are in so
much trouble Jeremy.”

               
“Yeah,
I think I am, but what did you need honey?” Jeremy asks nicely.

               
Honey,
I like the sound of that.
 
Stop it
Isabelle!
 
“I found a dress and it is so
pretty and I don’t get excited over dresses, not like this.”