The Art of Seduction (38 page)

great thinkers and poets of her time, talked of literature and philosophy—

companions," he said,

anything but the boudoir (and anything but the money that was also her

"where have you been

goal). Johannes, the narrator of Søren Kierkegaard's
The Seducer's Diary
, fol
hunting? On what
mountain ridges?" She
lows his target, Cordelia, from a distance; when their paths cross, he is po
raised herself from the
lite and apparently shy. As Cordelia gets to know him, he doesn't frighten
grass: "Greeting, divine

her. In fact he is so innocuous she begins to wish he were less so.
mistress," she cried,

"greater in my sight than

Duke Ellington, the great jazz artist and a consummate seducer, would
Create a False Sense of Security
—
Approach Indirectly
•
183

initially dazzle the ladies with his good looks, stylish clothing, and cha-
Jove himself
—
I care not
risma. But once he was alone with a woman, he would take a slight step
if he hears me!" Jove
laughed to hear her words.

back, becoming excessively polite, making only small talk. Banal conversa-
Delighted to be preferred to
tion can be a brilliant tactic; it hypnotizes the target. The dullness of your
himself, he kissed her
—
not
front gives the subtlest suggestive word, the slightest look, an amplified
with the restraint becoming
power. Never mention love and you make its absence speak volumes—your
to a maiden's kisses: and
as she began to tell of her

victims will wonder why you never discuss your emotions, and as they have
hunting exploits in the
such thoughts, they will go further, imagining what else is going on in your
forest, he prevented her by
mind. They will be the ones to bring up the topic of love or affection. De-
his embrace, and betrayed
his real self by a shameful

liberate dullness has many applications. In psychotherapy, the doctor makes
action. So far from
monosyllabic responses to draw patients in, making them relax and open
complying, she resisted
up. In international negotiations, Henry Kissinger would lull diplomats
him as far as a woman
could . . . but how could a

with boring details, then strike with bold demands. Early in a seduction,
girl overcome a man, and
less-colorful words are often more effective than vivid ones—the target
who could defeat Jupiter?

tunes them out, looks at your face, begins to imagine, fantasize, fall under
He had his way, and
returned to the upper air.

your spell.

Getting to your targets through other people is extremely effective; in-— O V I D ,
METAMORPHOSES,
TRANSLATED BY MARY M. INNES

filtrate their circle and you are no longer a stranger. Before the seventeenthcentury seducer Count de Grammont made a move, he would befriend his target's chambermaid, her valet, a friend, even a lover. In this way he could
I had rather hear my dog
gather information, finding a way to approach her in an unthreatening
bark at a crow than a man
manner. He could also plant ideas, saying things the third party was likely
swear he loves me.
to repeat, things that would intrigue the lady, particularly when they came —BEATRICE, IN WILLIAM

from someone she knew.

SHAKESPEARE,
MUCH ADO

ABOUT NOTHING

Ninon de l'Enclos, the seventeenth-century courtesan and strategist of seduction, believed that disguising one's intentions was not only a necessity, it added to the pleasure of the game. A man should never declare his feel-
I know of a man whose
ings, she felt, particularly early on. It is irritating and provokes mistrust. "A
beloved was completely
woman is much better persuaded that she is loved by what she guesses than
friendly and at ease with
by what she is told," Ninon once remarked. Often a person's haste in de-
him; but if he had
disclosed by the least

claring his or her feelings comes from a false desire to please, thinking this
gesture that he was in love,
will flatter the other. But the desire to please can annoy and offend. Chil-
the beloved would have
dren, cats, and coquettes draw us to them by apparently not trying, even by
become as remote from
him as the Pleiades, whose

seeming uninterested. Learn to disguise your feelings and let people figure
stars hang so high in
out what is happening for themselves.

heaven. It is a sort of

In all arenas of life, you should never give the impression that you are
statesmanship that is
required in such cases; the

angling for something—that will raise a resistance that you will never lower.
party concerned was
Learn to approach people from the side. Mute your colors, blend in, seem
enjoying the pleasure of his
unthreatening, and you will have more room to maneuver later on. The
loved one's company
same holds true in politics, where overt ambition often frightens people.
intensely and to the last
degree, but if he had so

Vladimir Ilyich Lenin at first glance looked like an everyday Russian; he
much as hinted at his inner
dressed like a worker, spoke with a peasant accent, had no air of greatness.
feelings he would have
This made the public feel comfortable and identify with him. Yet beneath
attained but a miserable
fraction of the beloved's

this apparently bland appearance, of course, was a deeply clever man who
favor, and endured into the
was always maneuvering. By the time people realized this it was too late.
bargain all the arrogance

184
•
The Art of Seduction

and caprice of which love is

Symbol:
The Spider's Web. The spider finds an innocuous corner in
capable.

which to spin its web. The longer the web takes, the more fabulous

—IBN HAZM;
THE RING OF

THE DOVE: A TREATISE ON THE

its construction, yet few really notice it
—
its gossamer threads are
ART AND PRACTICE OF ARAB

LOV
E, TRANSLATED BY A. J.

nearly invisible. The spider has no need to chase for food, or

even to move. It quietly sits in the corner, waiting for its

victims to come to it on their own, and ensnare

themselves in the web.

Reversal

In warfare, you need space to align your troops, room to maneuver. The more space you have, the more intricate your strategy can be. But sometimes it is better to overwhelm the enemy, giving them no time to think or react. Although Casanova adapted his strategies to the woman in question, he would often try to make an immediate impression, stirring her desire at the first encounter. Perhaps he would perform some gallantry, rescuing a woman in danger; perhaps he would dress so that his target would notice him in a crowd. In either case, once he had the woman's attention he would move with lightning speed. A Siren like Cleopatra tries to have an immediate physical effect on men, giving her victims no time or space to retreat. She uses the element of surprise. The first period of your contact with someone can involve a level of desire that will never be repeated; boldness will carry the day.

But these are short seductions. The Sirens and the Casanovas only get pleasure from the number of their victims, moving quickly from conquest to conquest, and this can be tiring. Casanova burned himself out; Sirens, insatiable, are never satisfied. The indirect, carefully constructed seduction may reduce the number of your conquests, but more than compensate by their quality.

Send Mixed Signals

Once people are aware of your presence, and

perhaps vaguely intrigued, you need to stir their

interest before it settles on someone else. What is ob-

vious and striking may attract their attention at first, but

that attention is often short-lived; in the long run, ambi-

guity is much more potent. Most of us are much too obvi-

ous
—
instead, be hard to figure out. Send mixed signals:
both tough and tender, both spiritual and earthy, both inno-

cent and cunning. A mix of qualities suggests depth, which

fascinates even as it confuses. An elusive, enigmatic aura

will make people want to know more, drawing them

into your circle. Create such a power by hinting

at something contradictory within you.

Good and Bad

In 1806, when Prussia and France were at war, Auguste, the handsome twenty-four-year-old prince of Prussia and nephew of Frederick the

Great, was captured by Napoleon. Instead of locking him up, Napoleon allowed him to wander around French territory, keeping a close watch on him through spies. The prince was devoted to pleasure, and spent his time
Reichardt had seen Juliette
moving from town to town, seducing young girls. In 1807 he decided to
at another ball, protesting
visit the Château de Coppet, in Switzerland, where lived the great French
coyly that she would not
writer Madame de Stae'l.

dance, and then, after a

while, throwing off her

Auguste was greeted by his hostess with as much ceremony as she could
heavy evening gown, to
muster. After she had introduced him to her other guests, they all retired to
reveal a light dress
a drawing room, where they talked of Napoleon's war in Spain, the current
underneath. On all sides,
there were murmurs and

Paris fashions, and so on. Suddenly the door opened and another guest en-
whisperings about her
tered, a woman who had somehow stayed in her room during the hubbub
coquetry and affectation.
of the prince's entrance. It was the thirty-year-old Madame Récamier,
As ever, she wore white
satin, cut very low in the

Madame de Staël's closest friend. She introduced herself to the prince, then
back, revealing her
quickly retired to her bedroom.

charming shoulders. The

Auguste had known that Madame Récamier was at the château. In fact
men implored her to dance
for them. . . . To soft

he had heard many stories about this infamous woman, who, in the years
music she floated into the
after the French Revolution, was considered the most beautiful in France.
room in her diaphanous
Men had gone wild over her, particularly at balls when she would take off
Greek robe. Her head was
bound with a muslin fichu.

her evening wrap, revealing the diaphanous white dresses that she had made
She bowed timidly to the
famous, and dance with such abandon. The painters Gérard and David had
audience, and then,
immortalized her face and fashions, and even her feet, considered the most
spinning round lightly, she
shook a transparent scarf

beautiful anyone had ever seen; and she had broken the heart of Lucien
with her fingertips, so that
Bonaparte, the Emperor Napoleon's brother. Auguste liked his girls
in turns it billowed into the
younger than Madame Récamier, and he had come to the château to rest.
semblance of a drapery, a
But those few moments in which she had stolen the scene with her sudden
veil, a cloud. All this with
a strange blend of precision

entrance caught him off guard: she was as beautiful as people had said, but
and languor. She used her
more striking than her beauty was that look of hers that seemed so sweet,
eyes in a subtle fascinating
indeed heavenly, with a hint of sadness in the eyes. The other guests con-
way
—
"she danced with
her eyes." The women

tinued their conversations, but Auguste could only think of Madame
thought that all that
Récamier.

serpentine undulating of

the body, all that

Over dinner that evening, he watched her. She did not talk much, and
nonchalant rhythmic
kept her eyes downward, but once or twice she looked up—directly at the
nodding of the head, were
prince. After dinner the guests assembled in the gallery, and a harp was
sensuous; the men were
wafted into a realm of

brought in. To the prince's delight, Madame Récamier began to play,
187

188
•
The Art of Seduction

unearthly bliss. Juliette was
singing a love song. And now, suddenly, she changed: there was a roguish
an
a n g e fatal,
and much
look in her eye as she glanced at him. The angelic voice, the glances, the
more dangerous for looking
energy animating her face, sent his mind reeling. He was confused. When
like an angel! The music

grew fainter. Suddenly, by
the same thing happened the next night, the prince decided to extend his
a deft trick, Juliette's
stay at the château.

chestnut hair was loosened

In the days that followed, the prince and Madame Récamier took walks
and fell in clouds around

her. A little out of breath,
together, rowed out on the lake, and attended dances, where he finally held
she disappeared into her
her in his arms. They would talk late into the night. But nothing grew clear
dimly lit boudoir. And

to him: she would seem so spiritual, so noble, and then there would be
there the crowd followed

her and beheld her reclining
a touch of the hand, a sudden flirtatious remark. After two weeks at the
on her daybed in a loose
château, the most eligible bachelor in Europe forgot all his libertine habits
tea-gown, looking
and proposed marriage to Madame Récamier. He would convert to Catholi
fashionably pale, like
cism, her religion, and she would divorce her much older husband. (She
Gérard's Psyche, while her

maids cooled her brow with
had told him her marriage had never been consummated and so the
toilet water.

Catholic church could annul it.) She would then come to live with him in

— M A R G A R E T TROUNCER,

Prussia. Madame promised to do as he wished. The prince hurried off to
MADAME RÉCAMIER

Prussia to seek the approval of his family, and Madame returned to Paris to secure the required annulment. Auguste flooded her with love letters, and waited. Time passed; he felt he was going mad. Then, finally, a letter:
The idea that two distinct

elements are combined in
she had changed her mind.

Mona Lisa's smile is one

Some months later, Madame Récamier sent Auguste a gift: Gérard's fa
that has struck several
mous painting of her reclining on a sofa. The prince spent hours in front of
critics. They accordingly

find in the beautiful
it, trying to pierce the mystery behind her gaze. He had joined the com
Florentine's expression the
pany of her conquests—of men like the writer Benjamin Constant, who
most perfect representation
said of her, "She was my last love. For the rest of my life I was like a tree
of the contrasts that
struck by lightning."

dominate the erotic life of

women; the contrast

between reserve and

seduction, and between the

Interpretation.
Madame Récamier's list of conquests became only more
most devoted tenderness

and a sensuality that is
impressive as she grew older: there was Prince Metternich, the Duke of
ruthlessly demanding
— Wellington, the writers Constant and Chateaubriand. For all of these men
consuming men as if they
she was an obsession, which only increased in intensity when they were
were alien beings.
away from her. The source of her power was twofold. First, she had an an— S I G M U N D FREUD,
LEONARDO

gelic face, which drew men to her. It appealed to paternal instincts, charm
DA VINCI AND A MEMORY OF

HIS CHILDHOOD,
TRANSLATED

ing with its innocence. But then there was a second quality peeking