The Art of Seduction (58 page)

and most powerful woman in France. He tickled her imagination with a

few brief encounters at the court, letting her catch glimpses of his wit, his audacity, his cool manner. She would begin to think of him when she was alone. Next she started to bump into him more often at court, and they would have little conversations or walks. When these meetings were over,
Falling in love
she would be left with a doubt: is he or is he not interested in me? This
automatically tends toward

madness. Left to itself, it
made her want to see him more, in order to allay her doubts. She began to
goes to utter extremes. This
idealize him all out of proportion to the reality, for the duke was an incor
is well known by the
rigible scoundrel.

"conquistadors" of both

sexes. Once a woman's

Remember: if you are easily had, you cannot be worth that much. It is
Poeticize Your Presence
•
283

hard to wax poetic about a person who comes so cheaply. If, after the initial
attention is fixed upon a
interest, you make it clear that you cannot be taken for granted, if you stir a
man, it is very easy for
him to dominate her

bit of doubt, the target will imagine there is something special, lofty, and
thoughts completely. A

unattainable about you. Your image will
crystallize
in the other person's
simple game of blowing
mind.

hot and cold, of

Cleopatra knew that she was really no different from any other woman,
solicitousness and disdain,
of presence and absence is

and in fact her face was not particularly beautiful. But she knew that men
all that is required. The
have a tendency to overvalue a woman. All that is required is to hint that
rhythm of that technique
there is something different about you, to make them associate you with
acts upon a woman's
attention like a pneumatic

something grand or poetic. She made Caesar aware of her connection to
machine and ends by
the great kings and queens of Egypt's past; with Antony, she created the
emptying her of all the rest
fantasy that she was descended from Aphrodite herself. These men were ca-
of the world. How well our
people put it: "to suck

vorting not just with a strong-willed woman but a kind of goddess. Such
one's senses"! In fact: one
associations might be difficult to pull off today, but people still get deep
is absorbed
—
absorbed by

pleasure from associating others with some kind of childhood fantasy fig-
an object! Most "love
afairs" are reduced to this

ure. John F. Kennedy presented himself as a figure of chivalry—noble,
mechanical play of the
brave, charming. Pablo Picasso was not just a great painter with a thirst for
beloved upon the lover's
young girls, he was the Minotaur of Greek legend, or the devilish trickster
attention.
•
The only thing
figure that is so seductive to women. These associations should not be made
that can save a lover is a

violent shock from the

too early; they are only powerful once the target has begun to fall under
outside, a treatment which
your spell, and is vulnerable to suggestion. A man who had just met
is forced upon him. Many
Cleopatra would have found the Aphrodite association ludicrous. But a
think that absence and long

trips are a good cure for

person who is falling in love will believe almost anything. The trick is to as-
lovers. Observe that these
sociate your image with something mythic, through the clothes you wear,
are cures for one's
the things you say, the places you go.

attention. Distance from

the beloved starves our

In Marcel Proust's novel
Remembrance of Things Past,
the character
attention toward him; it
Swann finds himself gradually seduced by a woman who is not really his
prevents anything further
type. He is an aesthete, and loves the finer things in life. She is of a lower
from rekindling the
attention. Journeys, by

class, less refined, even a little tasteless. What poeticizes her in his mind is a
physically obliging us to
series of exuberant moments they share together, moments that from then
come out of ourselves and
on he associates with her. One of these is a concert in a salon that they at-
resolve hundreds of little
tend, in which he is intoxicated by a little melody in a sonata. Whenever he
problems, by uprooting us
from our habitual setting

thinks of her, he remembers this little phrase. Little gifts she has given him,
and forcing hundreds of
objects she has touched or handled, begin to assume a life of their own.
unexpected objects upon us,

Any kind of heightened experience, artistic or spiritual, lingers in the mind
succeed in breaking down
the maniac's haven and

much longer than normal experience. You must find a way to share such
opening channels in his
moments with your targets—a concert, a play, a spiritual encounter, what-
sealed consciousness,
ever it takes—so that they associate something elevated with you. Shared
through which fresh air and

normal perspective enter.

moments of exuberance have immense seductive pull. Also, any kind of object can be imbued with poetic resonance and sentimental associations, as —JOSÉ ORTEGA Y GASSET,
ON LOVE: ASPECTS OF A

discussed in the last chapter. The gifts you give and other objects can be-
SINGLE THEME,
TRANSLATED BY

come imbued with your presence; if they are associated with pleasant TOBY TALBOT

memories, the sight of them keeps you in mind and accelerates the poeticization process. Although it is said that absence makes the heart grow fonder, an absence too early will prove deadly to the crystallization process. Like Eva
284
•
The Art of Seduction

Excessive familiarity can
Perón, you must surround your targets with focused attention, so that in
destroy
crystallization.
A

those critical moments when they are alone, their mind is spinning with a
charming girl of sixteen

kind of afterglow. Do everything you can to keep the target thinking about
was becoming too fond of a

handsome young man of
you. Letters, mementos, gifts, unexpected meetings—all these give you an
the same age, who used to

omnipresence. Everything must remind them of you.

make a practice of passing

Finally, if your targets should see you as elevated and poetic, there is
beneath her window every
much to be gained by making them feel elevated and poeticized in their
evening at nightfall. Her

mother invited him to
turn. The French writer Chateaubriand would make a woman feel like a
spend a week with them

goddess, she had such a powerful effect on him. He would send her poems
in the country. It was a

that she supposedly had inspired. To make Queen Victoria feel as if she
bold remedy, I admit,

but the girl was of a
were both a seductive woman and a great leader, Benjamin Disraeli would
romantic disposition, and

compare her to mythological figures and great predecessors, such as Queen
the young man a trifle
Elizabeth I. By idealizing your targets this way, you will make them idealize
dull; within three days she

despised him.
you in return, since you must be equally great to be able to appreciate and see all of their fine qualities. They will also grow addicted to the elevated

— S T E N D H A L ,
L O V E ,

feeling you give them.

Symbol:
The Halo.

Slowly, when the target is alone, he or she begins to

imagine a kind of faint glow around your head, formed by all of
the possible pleasures you might offer, the radiance of your charged
presence, your noble qualities. The Halo separates you from other
people. Do not make it disappear by becoming fa-

miliar and ordinary.

Reversal

It might seem that the reverse tactic would be to reveal everything about yourself, to be completely honest about your faults and virtues. This kind of sincerity was a quality Lord Byron had—he almost got a thrill out of disclosing all of his nasty, ugly qualities, even going so far, later on in his life, as to tell people about his incestuous involvements with his half sister. This kind of dangerous intimacy can be immensely seductive. The target will poeticize your vices, and your honesty about them; they will start to see more than is there. In other words, the idealization process is unavoidable. The only thing that cannot be idealized is mediocrity, but there is nothing seductive about mediocrity. There is no possible way to seduce without creating some kind of fantasy and poeticization.

Disarm Through Strategic Weakness

and Vulnerability

Too much ma-

neuvering on your part may raise

suspicion. The best way to cover your tracks

is to make the other person feel superior and

stronger. If you seem to be weak, vulnerable, enthralled

by the other person, and unable to control yourself, you will

make your actions look more natural, less calculated. Physical

weakness
—
tears, bashfulness, paleness
—
will help create the ef-
fect. To further win trust, exchange honesty for virtue: establish
your "sincerity" by confessing some sin on your part
—
it doesn't
have to be real. Sincerity is more important than goodness. Play
the victim, then transform your target's sympathy into love.

The Victim Strategy

That sweltering August in the 1770s when the Présidente de Tourvel

was visiting the château of her old friend Madame de Rosemonde,

leaving her husband at home, she was expecting to be enjoying the peace and quiet of country life more or less on her own. But she loved the simple pleasures, and soon her daily life at the château assumed a comfortable pattern—daily Mass, walks in the country, charitable work in the neighbor-
The weak ones do have a
ing villages, card games in the evening. When Madame de Rosemonde's
power over us. The clear,
forceful ones I can do

nephew arrived for a visit, then, the Présidente felt uncomfortable—but
without. I am weak and
also curious.

indecisive by nature myself,

The nephew, the Vicomte de Valmont, was the most notorious liber-
and a woman who is quiet
and withdrawn and follows

tine in Paris. He was certainly handsome, but he was not what she had ex-
the wishes of a man even
pected: he seemed sad, somewhat downtrodden, and strangest of all, he
to the point of letting
paid hardly any attention to her. The Présidente was no coquette; she
herself be used has much
the greater appeal. A man

dressed simply, ignored fashions, and loved her husband. Still, she was
can shape and mold her as
young and beautiful, and was used to fending off men's attentions. In the
he wishes, and becomes
back of her mind, she was slightly perturbed that he took so little notice of
fonder of her all the while.
her. Then, at Mass one day, she caught a glimpse of Valmont apparently lost —MURASAKI SHIKIBU, in prayer. The idea dawned on her that he was in the midst of a period of
THE TALE OF GENJI,
TRANSLATED BY EDWARD G.

soul-searching.

As soon as word had leaked out that Valmont was at the château, the Présidente had received a letter from a friend warning her against this dangerous man. But she thought of herself as the last woman in the world to
Hera, daughter of Cronus
be vulnerable to him. Besides, he seemed on the verge of repenting his evil
and Rhea, having been
past; perhaps she could help move him in that direction. What a wonderful
born on the island of
Samos or, some say, at

victory that would be for God. And so the Présidente took note of Val-
Argos, was brought up in
mont's comings and goings, trying to understand what was happening in
Arcadia by Temenus, sou
his head. It was strange, for instance, that he would often leave in the
of Pelasgus. The Seasons
were her nurses. After

morning to go hunting, yet would never return with any game. One day,
banishing their father
she decided to have her servant do a little harmless spying, and she was
Cronus, Hera's twin
amazed and delighted to learn that Valmont had not gone hunting at all; he
brother Zeus sought her
had visited a local village, where he had doled out money to a poor family
out at Cnossus in Crete or,
some say, on Mount

about to be evicted from their home. Yes, she was right, his passionate soul
Thornax (now called
was moving from sensuality to virtue. How happy that made her feel.
Cuckoo Mountain) in

That evening, Valmont and the Présidente found themselves alone for
Argolis, where he courted
her, at first unsuccessfully.

the first time, and Valmont suddenly burst out with a startling confession.
She took pity on him only
He was head-over-heels in love with the Présidente, and with a love he had
when he adopted the
287

288
•
The Art of Seduction

disguise of a bedraggled

never experienced before: her virtue, her goodness, her beauty, her kind
cuckoo and tenderly
ways had completely overwhelmed him. His generosity to the poor that
warmed him in her bosom.

afternoon had been for her sake—perhaps inspired by her, perhaps some
There he at once resumed
his true shape and ravished

thing more sinister: it had been to impress her. He would never have con
her, so that she was
fessed to this, but finding himself alone with her, he could not control his
shamed into marrying him.

emotions. Then he got down on his knees and begged for her to help him,

— R O B E R T GRAVES,

to guide him in his misery.

THE GREEK MYTHS

The Présidente was caught off guard, and began to cry. Intensely embarrassed, she ran from the room, and for the next few days pretended to be ill. She did not know how to react to the letters Valmont now began to
In a strategy (?) of
send her, begging her to forgive him. He praised her beautiful face and her
seduction one draws the

other into one's area of
beautiful soul, and claimed she had made him rethink his whole life. These
weakness, which is also his

emotional letters produced disturbing emotions, and Tourvel prided herself
or her area of weakness. A
on her calmness and prudence. She knew she should insist that he leave the
calculated weakness, an

incalculable weakness: one
château, and wrote him to that effect; he reluctantly agreed, but on one
challenges the other to be
condition—that she allow him to write to her from Paris. She consented, as
taken i n
. . . . •
T o seduce
long as the letters were not offensive. When he told Madame de Rose
is to appear weak. To
seduce is to render weak.
monde that he was leaving, the Présidente felt a pang of guilt: his host
We seduce with our
ess and aunt would miss him, and he looked so pale. He was obviously
weakness, never with
suffering.

strong signs or powers. In

seduction we enact this

Now the letters from Valmont began to arrive, and Tourvel soon re
weakness, and this is what
gretted allowing him this liberty. He ignored her request that he avoid the
gives seduction its strength.

subject of love—indeed he vowed to love her forever. He rebuked her for

•
We seduce with our
her coldness and insensitivity. He explained his bad path in life—it was not
death, our vulnerability,

and with the void that
his fault, he had had no direction, had been led astray by others. Without
haunts us. The secret is to
her help he would fall back into that world. Do not be cruel, he said,
you
know how to play with
are the one who seduced
me.
I am your slave, the victim of your charms
death in the absence of a

gaze or gesture, in the
and goodness; since you are strong, and do not feel as I do, you have noth
absence of knowledge or
ing to fear. Indeed the Présidente de Tourvel came to pity Valmont—he
meaning.
•
Psychoanalysis
seemed so weak, so out of control. How could she help him? And why was
tells us to assume our

fragility and passivity, but
she even thinking of him, which she now did more and more? She was a
in almost religious terms,
happily married woman. No, she must at least put an end to this tiresome
turns them into a form of
correspondence. No more talk of love, she wrote, or she would not reply.
resignation and acceptance
His letters stopped coming. She felt relief. Finally some peace and quiet.
in order to promote a well-

tempered psychic

One evening, however, as she was seated at the dinner table, she sud
equilibrium. Seduction, by
denly heard Valmont's voice from behind her, addressing Madame de Rose
contrast, plays trumph
monde. On the spur of the moment, he said, he had decided to return for
antty with weakness,

making a game of it, with
a short visit. She felt a shiver up and down her spine, her face flushed; he
its own rules.

approached and sat down beside her. He looked at her, she looked away,

— J E A N BAUDRILLARD,

and soon made an excuse to leave the table and go up to her room. But she
SEDUCTION
, TRANSLATED BY

could not completely avoid him over the next few days, and she saw that he