The Atonement (39 page)

“I’ve actually made him some ties before for
his birthday.”

“You made him ties?”

“Yeah. He liked them. He even told me he got
compliments on them at work.”

“Tamiko, no! Unless they’re ugly and poorly
made, you’re taking it into the romance zone again. Don’t make him
any more ties.”

“Only because I want to do something
different. I could also give him this book that I’ve been reading
that’s very good. It’s called Roadblocks on the Road to Grace by
Bishop Walter Simmons.”

“Perfect! Once he reads it your message will
be clear: you need the Lord, not me.”

“I was planning to give it to him at
dinner.”

“Not this again. Guys like Tim look out for
any kind of sign, not matter how small, that you like them as more
than a friend. If you have dinner with him and give him a present
he’s going to think you like him as more than a friend. Is that
what you want?”

“But he helped me a lot and I want to do
something nice. Just giving him a book seems…like something his mom
would do.”

“That’s the whole point! It’ll shut down his
fantasy!”

“Or hurt his feelings.”

“You wouldn’t be hurting them, just
re-directing them – unless…”

“Unless what?”

“Unless you like all the attention he’s been
giving you.”

Tamiko felt the hair on the back of her neck
stand up. After flipping a over a salmon cake, she glanced over her
shoulder at Riley who seemed to be looking at her suspiciously.

“What attention? I don’t know what you’re
talking about.”

“I’m talking about ever since Davis asked for
space, it seems like you lettin’ Tim move into his place. Please
tell me you’re not trying to make Davis jealous.”

“Riley, you know me better than that. I would
never do that to Tim or Davis. Besides, Davis doesn’t mind me
spending time with Tim because he knows we’re just friends.”

“With the way you and Tim were carrying on
the other day and the way you’re as happy as a clam right now, I
might think somethin’ else. Seems like your broken heart got mended
real quick.”

“I can’t do anything to please you. If I’m
moping, you tell me to get over him and when I’m happy, you make me
feel as if I’m being cold.”

“Then explain how not three days ago, you
were acting like Davis was better than buttermilk biscuits, and now
you got it like Tim’s better than both of them. No wonder Davis
wanted space. You just a hot mess.”

“Now you’re saying it’s my fault that Davis
is pushing me away?”

“You don’t even know who you want!”

“Riley Sharpe, I am not some fourteen year
old girl going through puberty. I am a grown woman and I know how I
feel.”

“So explain it to me.”

“
Davis is a wonderful man.
He has all the qualities I’ve ever wanted in a husband. He’s a
Christian and he lives his life by his faith just like I
do.”

“How nice. You’ve said that a hundred times.
What else you got in common?”

“That’s the most important thing.”

“If that’s true, then why not hit up Elder
Murty.”

“He’s a fifty year old man!”

“So? He’s single, he loves the Lord and
Pastor is always talkin’ about what a great help he is to the
church and how he’s a light to the other men in the community.”

“C’mon, Riley let’s not be silly.”

“Exactly! You can’t go around and pick a
boyfriend or a husband for that matter, based on a concept.
Building relationships is not like building a car or a
computer.”

“Look, I don’t want to be one of those women
who lets her feelings cause her to walk into a relationship that’s
doomed to fail. I witnessed a lot of the casualties from those kind
of relationships in high school and in college: so many bright
girls with great futures ahead of them who threw everything away
over guys who were nothing but game. Guys who made promises to them
and then broke those promises over and over, while they waited for
them to change, but change never came.”

“Stop with the drama. No one’s asking you to
date a crack head, just be honest about your feelings.”

“I have been.”

“Ya sure?”

“Yes!”

“Positive?”

“Why can’t you just believe me?”

“Okay. Sooo, you won’t wind if I make my move
on Snowy?”

“You said you he wouldn’t be right for me and
now you’re saying you want to go out with him! Where’s this coming
from?”

“You’re always telling me to give people a
chance, so I’ll take a chance with Snowy. I’ll come with you to
your friendly dinner and you can hook us up. Good idea, right?”

“Wrong! You don’t even like him!”

“He’s growing on me. He did me a solid for
fifty bucks - can’t be that bad a guy.”

“I thought you didn’t like preppy guys.”

“I thought I didn’t like Asian pork buns
either until I had a couple. Snowy’s pretty good looking,
especially without the glasses, he’s got a nice build, and he’s
rich. You know the more I think about him the more I like him.”

“What if he doesn’t like you?”

“I think he will when he sees me all fancy in
my silk army pants.”

“Riley…”

“Miko…boyfriends are not like donut holes.
You can’t have more than one at a time. If you want strawberry,
it’s only fair that I get to have vanilla. So, if you wanna wait
for Davis, then that means I get Snowy. Oh, and I’m calling no
backsies.”

“Alright. If that’s the way you wanna be,
fine. I’ll call Tim and ask him.”

“You do just that.”

Tamiko was sure that Riley was bluffing, but
since she wanted to make a big deal of things, she was going to
call her on it. After all, she was sure there was no way that Riley
and Tim would ever hit it off. Yet for all of her certainty, she
could not get over the uneasy feeling that suddenly gripped her
heart.

*****

The basement was the most peaceful space of
the Bynum residence. Because of her mother’s fastidiousness and her
penchant for throwing every unnecessary thing away, there was
nothing in the space except for the washer, dryer, a freezer, and
four large plastic containers that took up space on the periphery
of the room. In the middle of the room were a folding table and a
rocking chair. Many times Tamiko would resort here to pray or just
to have some privacy which was her reason for coming now. She was
nervous enough about the call she was going to make and she didn’t
want to have to worry about eavesdropping ears.

“
Hey, Miko. What’s going
on?” said Tim.

“Not much. Just hanging around my parent’s
basement. And you?” said Tamiko.

“I’m was just cleaning out my closet and
looking through some old stuff.”

“If you’re busy, I can call back.”

“I wouldn’t call this busy. I can talk for a
minute. What’s on your mind?”

“I wanted to let you know that the
spreadsheet you made was a hit at school today. In fact they want
all the teachers to use the format as the template for the sight
word assessment in all of the classrooms.”

“That’s awesome news. Let’s hope this puts
you in a more favorable light when it comes time for
observations.”

“One can only hope. But I just want to thank
you again for everything.”

“You’re very welcome, and remember, if you
need anything else, just let me know.”

“But I want you to know I really appreciate
you giving up your time to help me and I was thinking that maybe I
could return the favor,” said Tamiko, her voice speeding up because
of her nerves, although she had no idea why she was nervous all of
a sudden.

“Miko, it’s not necessary.”

“
For me, it is. I was
wondering if you would like to have dinner with me…and Riley on
Saturday night?”

“
You and Riley?”

“
Yes. She had a big part in
my success, too, so I thought I’d invite both of you.”

“
Okay, sure. Where are we
going?” he said in a matter of fact way. This made Tamiko feel
relieved since it seemed he wasn’t uncomfortable about the
invite.

“There’s this new place over on Audubon that
I want to try. It’s called the Gospel Grill. They have live Gospel
music from up and coming artists.”

“Sounds nice. How’d you hear about it?”

“I was reading the paper the other day and I
saw a feature on it in the city living section.”

“Cool. What time do you want me to meet you
there?”

“Is 6:00 good?”

“Not a problem.”

“Great. So…” said Tamiko not, knowing what
else to say, since she had accomplished the purpose of her
call.

“So is that all that happened today? Did
Jamire try to eat another glue stick?”

“Thankfully, no.”

“Makes you wonder what goes on in a child’s
mind.”

“I know, and sometimes I feel like I should
know. After all, it wasn’t that long ago since I was a kid and I
know I’ve done some silly things myself.”

“Really? Like what?”

“Like putting liquid glue all over my hands,
then letting it dry and peeling it off.”

“No way! I used to do that, too!”

“But I think the craziest thing I ever did
was when I was 11 and I dyed Allen’s hair red with kool-aid.”

“He actually let you do that?”

“He didn’t think the color would take.”

“What made you think of that?”

“I don’t know, really. I guess I was just
curious.”

“What did your parents say when they saw what
you did?”

“My dad thought it was the funniest thing
ever, and so did Mama Lena. But my mom and Pop Vernon were not
happy at all…”

The conversation continued on in this way for
some time as they both shared childhood stories and talked about
their experiences, their hopes, their dreams, and their fears. By
the time the call ended Tamiko realized that what she had intended
to be a two-minute call ended up lasting two hours. There was a
time when neither of them would even want to say two words to each
other. Their relationship had definitely matured over the years, as
they had themselves. Tamiko had to admit that Tim was indeed much
different from what he used to be. He was certainly not as
arrogant, cynical or irreverent as he had been and he was beginning
to learn about what caring, compassion, and character meant. Their
relationship was still developing and growing, and despite her
reservations, Tamiko was curious and hopeful about how it would all
turn out.

Thirty-Six

After his conversation with Tamiko and their
discussion of childhood silliness, Tim couldn’t help thinking about
his sister and it made him a little restless. He thought about the
package he’d sent her for her birthday, the first he’d sent since
she was sixteen when she’d mercilessly revealed how she trashed or
torched previous presents he’d given her. After that he’d only send
her cards, which he was pretty sure she was trashing as well. Tim
knew she had received the package because he’d tracked it online.
The question was how would she react to it. Her birthday was
yesterday and so far he hadn’t heard anything from her. Tim was
hoping that she would have sent him a text at least. He would’ve
tried calling her, but she never answered his calls or texts. He
didn’t know what else to do. So went back to rummaging through his
childhood treasure box, which was what he’d been doing before
Tamiko called.

The box had been at the back of his closet
for ages and he never thought to go through it until that Sunday
after he’d returned home from dinner at Tamiko’s house. He had been
reading his Bible when he got the inclination to return to it, and
then to send his sister her longtime companion and friend that
she’d thrown away. He thought that after he’d done this that would
be the end of it’s usefulness, but something was leading him back
to it again.

Tim’s treasure box was filled with odd little
keepsakes he had collected that reminded him of better days – like
the time when Poppa was alive. Everyone in the family called his
grandfather, the Honorable Judge Timothy Warren Russell, “Poppa.”
He was the distinguished patriarch, the one everyone went to when
there was a crisis or a scandal and the Russell household was full
of them. Poppa was the bastion of stability in Tim’s life. His
mother came and went, so did the nannies, and so did his aunts and
Mr. Hurst, but Poppa was always there.

Tim inspected the aging artifacts, unsure of
what he was looking for. There was his grandfather’s old wallet,
which still contained pictures of Tim’s mother, Eleanor, when she
was a young girl as well as pictures of Tim and Allyson. There was
also and old photo album full of pictures he’d taken on their
adventures together. One was taken during the summer that Poppa had
taken him and Allyson camping in the woods. In the picture, they
were all posing in front of the deer he’d helped Poppa to catch.
There was another picture of them in a boat watching the dolphins
in Australia during winter break, as well as photos from their
adventures in Japan and England. There was a picture of Tim sitting
on the couch in their condo holding Allyson when she was just a
baby. There was even a hand drawn picture that Allyson had made for
him when she was seven. In addition to the photo album were old
trinkets like the plastic craft bracelets and friendship bracelets
he made for her, a few awards, some old baby clothes of his, Mr.
Brown, his old teddy bear, and some of the things he’d given
Allyson that he managed to rescue from the garbage when she’d
thrown them away.

Looking through these mementos made Tim a
little misty-eyed as he remembered their happy trio: Poppa,
Allyson, and himself. In a world of messy arrangements, secrets,
affairs, and scandal, they clung together through it all, with
Poppa as their rock and center. He was their teacher as well as
their confidant. But all that changed when he died of cancer.