Authors: Leanne Davis
Will slid it back to Tony. “He managed to get her phone number without even asking.”
Tony smirked at Will’s surprised grimace. “Told you. It works wonders.”
“What does? What did you do? I didn’t see you even glancing up at her.”
“The arm. Or lack thereof. Some like it for the freak factor, while others are so sorry for poor me, they don’t care about anything else.”
Gretchen’s mouth dropped open. “You pick up woman because you’re—”
“An amputee? Yeah.”
“That’s… awful. That’s an awful thing to do. And an awful thing to use a woman for.”
He leaned back and grinned. “No, it’s really a beautiful thing. And just about the only damn good thing about it.”
Will finally laughed along with him as Gretchen sniffed in disdain. “I can’t believe you’re encouraging that, Will Hendricks. It’s an awful, deceptive thing to do. All of it. Let alone, to seek out a woman who wouldn’t even get how life-changing it is.”
Tony’s smile faded. “I don’t want them to see how life-changing it is. I just want to get laid.”
Donny joined in. “He’s right. Sometimes you don’t want a girl to get you; you just want her to want you. Hell, you gotta use whatever you can.”
Gretchen’s lips pursed in disapproval. What else was new? Tony either disappointed, disturbed, or downright pissed people off nowadays. He flicked a few coins of change on the table as a tip before the conversation swung towards more generic things. Jobs, daily routines, the trivialities that kept them all so busy, and meant even less, at least, in Tony’s estimation. He leaned back and said very little with his hand tucked into his jeans pocket.
Shit.
He had nothing to add. No job. No mortgage. No car. No friends. No chores. No daily events. Nada. Nothing. He soon grew bored, especially after Will and Jessie departed early, saying they were worried about being out too late for Christina. Another thing he’d never have: kids. Who needed such burdens?
“Let’s hit it, Donny. I’m tired.”
Donny jerked back in surprise, and his face flushed. “Oh, uh, I was going to take Vickie home. Do you mind hitching a ride with Gretchen?”
“What?”
Gretchen spoke before Tony could protest. The horror on her face was obvious. Vickie leaned over and whispered something into Gretchen’s ear and she again, pursed her lips. At least, Tony wasn’t the only fountain of fault and disappointment; so was little sis, it seemed. She nodded and glanced up at Tony as Vickie rose to take Donny’s arm, which he offered to steady her.
Gretchen swallowed and said, “So, I guess we got ditched. I didn’t see that coming.”
Tony wished he could have hit his brother. Instead, he merely nodded. “You didn’t deduce that they were both working up to getting laid?”
She blushed even though she was thirty-five years old. Didn’t she see what Donny and Vickie were doing? Rubbing up on each other as they pretended to dance? Vickie’s conveniently torn shirt left little to the imagination. Donny was probably in for a hell of a night. Gretchen seemed put out by it. Even annoyed.
Gretchen stood up and Tony followed after slipping the waitress’s napkin into his pocket. She smiled and winked, keeping a watchful eye on him. He realized it, and trying not to hurt her feelings, pretended the number was important to him. Too bad, it wasn’t. Not much was anymore. Sex included. He did it sometimes. But not as often as he could. Or should. Or used to. He just couldn’t muster enough damn energy to find it worth pursuing or bothering with.
He followed Gretchen out front, not failing to notice her ass swinging in the jeans she wore. Her long thighs twitched as she walked. He could imagine himself, however, bothering with Gretchen.
She stopped beside her sedan. “Do you want to drive? I’m fine, but I wouldn’t mind just riding.”
He shook his head and leaned his arm on the hood as he replied, “Can’t. Don’t have a license.”
“You what?” Her voice rose higher.
“No license. I never bothered to renew it after I got back. There are restrictions on driving with a disability. I never felt like dealing with it. So I quit driving.”
“Oh.” She bit her lip again. Obviously, now she regretted asking. Like most people, the thought about any restrictions he now had to observe never even crossed her mind. He could drive, probably; it just seemed more of a pain than not.
Without another word, she got in and sat down. He followed suit. Clicking his seat belt as she started the car and backed out, he stared out the passenger window.
After several minutes of silence, she put her turn signal on and switched lanes. The passing headlights swept over her profile. “Just so you know… my sister, most likely, will cause trouble for Donny. I hate to say it. But it’s true.”
“What kind of trouble?”
“She’s… kind of known for being melodramatic. And causing trouble.”
“Donny’s smart. He doesn’t do dumb or melodramatic. He’ll probably just sleep with her, and that’ll be that. She
is
hot.”
Gretchen’s mouth tightened. “She is. But she’s much more than that.”
“They were going home together to have sex. You knew that, right? I mean, I’m not saying anything that isn’t true.”
“Yes. I realize that. You don’t have a single sentimental bone left inside you, do you? Sometimes it is more than that, you know.”
“I guess. But you were watching the same bumping and grinding that I saw. Do you really think they’re verging on the start of a sweet romance?”
She stifled a groan. “No. But, the thing is, men get really into Vickie. I’m not sure why. She has an effect over her boyfriends that’s hard to explain. She ends up using them sometimes. For money. Or attention. Or gifts. Just warn Donny, okay? He’s a nice guy, and probably won’t see her coming.”
“I’m surprised you’d bad-mouth your own sister.”
“I don’t mean to. She’s been married three times and had passels of boyfriends. She doesn’t mean to be so… so needy, for lack of a better word. She just is. And I just wanted to let you know what she’s like, so you could let Donny know. I love Vickie, but I would never want to date her. I was hoping Donny might see right through her. But he seemed as taken with her as all the other men.”
Tony shook his head. “I wasn’t. I could see her game from ten feet off. Donny, however, was more than a little star-struck by all the attention she was batting his way. I’d warn him, but he wouldn’t listen to me. Besides, he’s a little angry with me right now.”
She scoffed. “I wonder why that is? You purposely try to antagonize everyone around you. He’s obviously been doing a lot for you in the past two years. As much as your parents. So, be nice to them. I mean, it seems the least you could do.”
“Yeah, Donny’s been good to me.”
“Then quit blaming him and everyone else for what happened to you. They didn’t do it.
Obviously
. And Will didn’t do it. No offense, but you enlisted with the United States Army, and you had to know there was some risk in that. You didn’t sign up for a job manufacturing canned soup; you signed up to be an infantry soldier.”
Tony let out a long, slow whistle through his teeth. “Jesus, pull the gloves off Gretchen Hendricks, and look who she becomes.”
Gretchen gritted her teeth. “I see what you do. You deflect everyone like a mirror in the sun. Well, I decided after our last fun, little scuffle, that you aren’t going to do it to me anymore. Answer me one question: why do act this way to people who have done nothing wrong, but offering you their love and support?”
He twisted around and glared out the passenger window, surprised Gretchen called him out. Fisting his hand and releasing it, over and over, was something he learned in therapy to ease his rage, which now threatened to explode from his throat.
“Tony?” she pressed. “Please, won’t you answer me?”
“Because I can’t stand their pity. Like I can’t stand yours.”
“Pity, sorrow, sympathy. Those are not unnatural reactions or responses to what happened to you. You have them for yourself too. You’re drowning in unhealthy amounts of sarcasm and bitterness. It’s to be expected for awhile. But you can’t keep treating everyone as you do. Donny is so fed up, he’s going to quit coming around, Tony. Even your parents are exasperated. I know it seems impossible, but you
can
kill love. Even unconditional love.”
“Oh yeah? How much do I owe you for this impromptu session aimed at recovering my mental health, Dr. Hendricks?”
She inhaled sharply. “I don’t deserve that. I wasn’t psychoanalyzing you. I was pointing out that you’re such a jerk to your own family, if you don’t stop, everyone will quit trying, and eventually leave you all alone to stew in your own festering cesspool.”
“You got all this from one dinner? No offense, but you don’t know shit about my life.”
“No offense? I
do
take offense. I take offense for how you talk to me and everyone else around you. I take offense to your crude, rude phrases that don’t advance conversations and accomplish nothing beyond making the other person feel small and bad.” She turned slightly and met his gaze before she eyed the traffic in front of them. “People only want to reconnect with you. People like me. But I won’t bother if you continue to act like this.”
He blew air out of his lips. “You only want to be around me for how sad it makes you feel. My arm is gone and yours is not. It’s guilt, Gretchen. Guilt is what everyone feels when they encounter me.”
She shook her head as the shadows passed over her face. “No. It’s not. I thought about what you said earlier. About me not noticing you as anything but part of the wall. And you know what? You’re right; but that doesn’t make me a bad person. I was involved with someone for over a decade. I was
in
a relationship. I wasn’t supposed to notice other guys. Or boys. Or men. Age doesn’t matter. I was committed to Will. Since I stayed committed and didn’t look around, it could be considered a positive aspect of my personality. Not a rude flaw as you try to spin it. I refuse to apologize for being trustworthy. Or monogamous. Or loyal. I will not be punished for being a good girlfriend.”
Silence thickened the dark between them. He kept his fist clenched and his eyes pinned out the window. Finally, she said softly, “The thing is, you’re also right about something else. It was seeing your missing arm that prompted me to do more than say hello and just pass you in the grocery store, never to see you again. I think you called that right. If not for your amputation, I would have thought it was nice to run into you again and just moved on. I would not have been invited to dinner by Donny, or have any interest in going.”
The car swung into his parents’ driveway. She stopped and turned her body so she was facing him. “The thing is, your amputation was so horrifyingly sad and unfair, that I wanted to do something for you. Anything. Whatever I could do to help you. So, yeah, you’re right; it is pity. I’m sorry if you don’t like that. But the primary reason I came to dinner was because I felt sorry about what happened to you.”
Right on his lips, he wanted to snarl
fuck you
to her. Instead, he clenched his jaw and kept his gaze focused outside. His entire body froze when he felt something on his leg. Glancing down at her hand, he saw her slender, white, long fingers and painted nails, resting on his knee. “Tony?”
He finally lifted his eyes to hers.
She licked her lips and his focus narrowed onto her tongue. She suddenly lifted her hand off him and smiled as she threw her shoulders back, saying, “The thing is: I don’t feel pity for you now. It’s hard for me to pity you. You won’t even allow me to sympathize. So that’s fine. You don’t have my sympathy. You don’t get my apologies, or my help or my pity. You simply have my attention. Congratulations, Tony, I now give a fuck what happens to you. And unlike your brother or your parents, I don’t think I care about how nice I am anymore.”
No one but Donny ever called Tony out on his bullshit. And not once had he ever heard Gretchen use the F-word. Never. She rarely swore. His eyes found hers, and she suddenly smiled sweetly, but tilted her head, indicating that he should go.
He opened the door handle and got out, almost stumbling from leaving too quickly and not catching his balance. He stared after her car. What the hell did she mean? He had her attention? What was she up to? He didn’t know what to do or think. He shook his head, not believing for five minutes that Gretchen would bother with him past looking at him in her rearview mirror. She never had before. Why would she start now? A missing arm only had so much power when people were busy.
Chapter Seven
The phone rang first thing Saturday morning. Gretchen was barely out of bed, and cutting up a cantaloupe to eat. She answered while still chewing on the juicy fruit.
“Gretchen, I’m in love.”
Vickie.
Gretchen grabbed her forehead to relieve the headache suddenly brewing that her sister’s screeching voice and upcoming melodrama would do nothing but exacerbate.
“It’s been less than twelve hours.” Vickie rarely caught the dry, sarcastic edge to Gretchen’s tone.
“Time isn’t relevant. We haven’t even gone to sleep yet. We were up all night. Talking… and oh my, the sex. So good, it’s unheard of. All of it is. I’ve never felt like this before.”
Yes, she had. Or at least she proclaimed the same statement on six different occasions that Gretchen could think of offhand. However, they weren’t usually the very next morning. It was normally a few weeks, or more. She sighed, anticipating a sudden, giant blow-up and then the crash. Poor Donny. But what could she do? Warning him to avoid her was going against her sister. And besides, as Gretchen knew from past experience, Donny wouldn’t believe her. He’d think she was simply exaggerating Vickie’s sordid history, or just jealous. Having become so drawn to her sister’s brilliance, like a moth to a flame, he’d simply refuse to see what was right there in front of him.
“Vickie, maybe you need to slow down a bit. There’s no hurry, is there? Just start dating and see what happens…”
Vickie didn’t hear one word she said. She was off and running for longer than half an hour, giving Gretchen a detailed recap of nearly everything she and Donny had done over the last twelve hours. Gretchen held the phone away from her ear to avoid hearing some of it. Lord! Did Vickie never learn? And in no time, there she’d be, cleaning up her little sister’s mess again. Her headache expanded into her temples.