The Best Friend (5 page)

He took the stairs two at a time. They opened up into the kitchen and living room, which all flowed together in a large space. The doorbell pealed again.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m coming,” he yelled as he reached for the doorknob and twisted it.

Will Hendricks stood on his doorstep.

They stared at each other for a full thirty seconds until Tony shook his head. “She called you.”

Will’s mouth was twisted in an angry scowl. “You’re damn right she did. Why didn’t you?”

He rolled his eyes and stepped away from the door. There was no doubt the honorable Will Hendricks would feel compelled to come inside. He stood back as Will shut the door behind him. They were standing five feet apart, and sizing each other up. He glared into Will’s scrutinizing face. Will’s eyes narrowed onto his missing arm, just as everyone else’s did. But Will didn’t look away, or blush like most observers, he only scowled deeper. “How?”

Tony shrugged. Will, unlike most people, didn’t need a lot of details to understand. “Bomber took out a section of the camp. Me and some guys were tossing a football around near it. Next thing I knew, I was lying on a bed and my arm was gone. Shrapnel embedded in it.”

“What area?”

“Kandahar Province.”

Will nodded. “Tough place.”

“Yeah.”

“How long ago?”

Tony’s jaw worked back and forth. It was odd for him to be so easily understood. “Two years, one month, and fourteen days.”

Will shut his eyes and breathed in deeply, then blinked suddenly. Tony stepped back. Tears were brimming over Will’s eyelids. “You should have called me. Why didn’t you? Because of some stupid, juvenile fight? You decided not to call me about
this
because of that? Come off it, Tony… why? I just don’t get why you couldn’t call me.”

He turned around and wandered into the kitchen. “I don’t need this shit, Will. I didn’t call you because we aren’t friends anymore. Why should I call you?”

Will came after him. “How the fuck do you figure we aren’t friends anymore? We’ve been best friends since we were five years old. So we had a fight. It doesn’t change anything. It just put us out of touch for awhile.”

“Go home, Will. Go back to your pretty wife. I didn’t need you then, and I don’t need you now.”

Will sucked in a sharp breath. “Are you for real? You think I’m just going to leave here as if nothing happened to you?”

“Yeah, I want you to leave as if nothing happened to me.”

Will straightened his back and raised his eyebrows, using his superior muscle to influence him. Tony merely stood up straighter. Damn, if the only thing he had on Will Hendricks was a few inches. He wasn’t as muscle-bound as Will. Tony had a long, lean build that eclipsed Will’s by just a few inches. “Go home, I don’t want you here.”

“I don’t believe you,” Will finally said after they stared each other down with hard, mean glares.

He shrugged. “I don’t really care if you believe me. I’m not eating my heart out, longing for you to come talk to me again. Jesus, we’re not thirteen-year-old girls.”

Tony finally rolled his eyes before sprawling out in his dad’s recliner. He clicked the TV on and stared at it.

After three minutes of silence, Will asked, “Do you have PTSD?”

“Well, shit, I must. I don’t want to talk to you.”

Will grunted and finally came around the couch, where he sat down, uninvited. “Well, you certainly turned into a dickhead. I meant, maybe…”

Tony interrupted him, “I know what you meant. It’s what everyone means. No, I don’t have PTSD. I just… lost my fuckin’ arm and it turned my attitude to shit. I’ve talked about it. I’ve grieved for it. I’ve shed a bucket load of pain over it, okay? I just don’t really feel like rehashing it.”

Will tapped his hand on the armrest and flicked his fingers at the TV. “This the kind of crap you get into when you hide inside your parents’ house? What kind of shit are you watching?”

Tony glanced up at the TV and cursed when he saw a soap opera was on. He cringed and quickly switched the channel. Okay, maybe he was too annoyed by Will’s appearance to be aware of the daytime programming.

“I’m not hiding,” he grumbled. “I got disability checks coming in. I’m disabled now.”

Will shot him a glare, then he sighed. “Sure, Tony. Yeah, you’re disabled now. I guess you really are, huh?”

“What? You want to say something?”

“I don’t think burying yourself here is the answer.”

“No, it’s just not what the great Will Hendricks would do. You’d probably go invent yourself a new bionic arm. I’m not you. I just want to be left alone.”

“Well, aren’t there prosthetics you can wear? Aren’t there plastic arms that use micro-computers and move with your nerves or something? Isn’t there something you can do, which is more than nothing?”

“The kind I need, upper-limb prosthetics are the hardest to find with all the fancy shit.” Tony shrugged and glanced at the TV. “I tried a few in the beginning. They were uncomfortable and hard to wear. They require all kinds of therapy and retraining. I didn’t like looking and feeling like a damn robot. It’s easier for me to just do without.”

“Do without. Without, however, isn’t doing anything. You don’t seem to be accomplishing anything like this.”

“I don’t want to change the world. I tried doing that and lost my arm. I’m tired, okay? I don’t want to get up and face dealing with the latest electronics and special therapies. I just want to live the rest of my life as it is now.”

“But it seems like you’re not.

“Why? Because you’ve seen me all of twenty minutes, and therefore, you know what my life is like now?”

“No… but—”

“But Gretchen told you I wasn’t real polite; and that must mean I’m somehow depressed and sad and suffering. So what, Will? What are you going to do about it? Swoop in here and motivate me to go seek out all my options? Believe it or not, I’m not stupid or incompetent. I know my options, and I know what I choose to do and why I chose it.”

Will frowned. “When did you decide I was the designated asshole?”

“Just—”

He stopped talking when the door swung open and his mother rushed in, carrying an armful of groceries. Will shot up and sped over to grab them from her before setting them gallantly on the counter.

Leila Lindstrom gasped. “Will Hendricks, is that really you? Oh dear boy, I haven’t seen you in years.”

Tears filled his mother’s eyes and she touched a hand to his cheek. Tony bit his tongue to keep his laughter inside. Holy shit, his mother was sentimental. So what if she half raised Will during most of his boyhood? So what if Will lived there or at Gretchen’s more than he ever did at home with his no-good mother? So what? Leila pulled Will in for a long, heartfelt hug.

Will patted her back. “Hey, Mrs. Lindstrom, how are you?”

Ever proper. Ever the gentleman. Ever the gallant Will. Tony rolled his eyes heavenward and threw the recliner back for his feet to rest on. He scratched his chest and yawned as his mother fawned all over Will.

Leila eyed Tony with a frown, then turned back to smile with glee at Will. “I’m fine. Just fine. I’m really thrilled to see you. It’s been far too long.”

Will nodded. “It’s been way too long. I agree. I should have come home sooner, ma’am.”

“I know you divorced Gretchen, but I always hoped you’d settle back here. This visit is long overdue.”

He smiled. “I have a new home now. But we are visiting here for a few days.”

“We?”

“Yes, my wife and child.”

Tony grumbled, “You brought them all just to check out my amputation?”

Will stiffened and cast an angry glance his way. His mother’s face dropped in horror that he said such a thing. “My wife and Gretchen are close, for reasons that aren’t any of your business. Jessie’s sister is even Gretchen’s best friend. And we brought my baby because I thought you might possibly want to meet her.”

Tony snickered. “Wait. Your ex-wife is your current sister-in-law’s best friend?”

“Yeah, and my wife too, actually.”

Will’s tone was very polite in contrast to Tony’s rude one. “How do you do that? How do you completely shit on Gretchen and end up having her make nice with your new wife?”

Leila gasped. “For God’s sake, Tony!”

Will ignored him and said smoothly, “Let me help you with the rest of your groceries, Mrs. Lindstrom.”

Leila smiled and patted his arm. “You were always such a polite boy. Thank you.”

Tony nearly choked at all the ass-kissing. Finally, Will brought in the last load and his mother clucked softly, putting everything away, and talking in more depth to Will. She wanted to know all about Will’s new civilian job, the town he lived in, and of course, his wife and child.

Tony retreated downstairs to piss. When he came back up, Will was holding his mother’s hand saying, “Until then.”

“Until then, what?” he asked while approaching them.

“Until dinner tomorrow night. We’re all coming. My family.”

“And Gretchen? That’s fucked up.”

“Well, great, we’ll see you then.” Will smiled at Leila as if Tony never spoke. He shoved his shoulder into Tony’s, which should have been a friendly pat, but almost knocked him over. He got the message.

Tony turned on his mother. “You invited all of them to dinner?”

“Yes, Donny did. I was already planning on Gretchen. I’m so excited. I loved having you and your friends in the house. I miss those days.”

“Mom…”

She whipped around from stacking canned goods in the cabinet. “Don’t, Tony. Don’t say a word. No more than you already have. I know why you do it. So did Will. But it’s damn tiring to live with. So please, no more today, Tony.”

He stiffened and stared at his mother’s back. Her shoulders were slumped as she leaned against the counter. Her breathing was ragged. He embarrassed her and hurt her. He finally touched her arm. “I just didn’t expect to see him.”

She didn’t turn his way, but grabbed his hand and clutched it in hers. “None of us expected any of this. But… I thank God, every single day for bringing you back to me. Despite missing your left arm. Why can’t you ever, even just once, be glad for that, too?”

He backed up. “Because you’re not the one who lost your left arm. You don’t know what it’s like to look where something is supposed to be, and remember it’s gone. Completely gone. Yet, it hurts so much, and I can
feel
everything as if it’s still there sometimes. But the cruel joke is, when I look and see they’re not there anymore. No arm. No wrist. No hand. No fingers.”

“But your heart is still here. And your mind. And both of your legs. I just want some of your former personality that went off to war to return.” Leila shook her head, “I have to get dinner started.”

Tony turned and jogged down the stairs. He leaned against the door and breathed deeply. The agitation had his head spinning and his chest aching. He failed her. He failed his father, his brother, and now he could add Will and company to the mix. He failed everyone. But he couldn’t find the resolve to go back to the man he was before going to war. And that was something no one understood.

****

“You got Will to come up here?”

Gretchen smiled when Donny started talking before she even said hello on her cell phone. It was her lunch hour at the local middle school. She had a consultation with a student and her parents. The seventh grader was having trouble in the classroom and the guidance counselor suggested the family meet with Gretchen and see about obtaining private help. Gretchen’s private practice treated a bevy of childhood disorders and emotional conditions ranging from behavioral and neurological problems, to emotional traumas stemming from death, divorce, or abuse.

“Yes. With one phone call. I take it you’ll be at dinner tonight.”

“Hell, yeah. I wouldn’t miss this for anything. Besides, I hope it really does Tony some good. Something has to crack his shell.”

“Will said his meeting with Tony didn’t go so well.”

Donny snorted. “Of course, it didn’t. I can imagine. I guess I’m pretty much immune to it by now, but I’m sure it must come as a shock to everyone else. Like you and Will. Be prepared, okay? He’s nearly impossible to please or understand. Just… maybe you could take a few minutes and try to connect to him. Maybe even push the idea of seeing him again.”

She clutched the phone as her palms grew sweaty. The thought of being one-on-one with Tony’s unbridled fury was daunting and unpleasant. Something she couldn’t imagine volunteering for; but again, she was not a horrible person and knew she had to do something.

“Okay, Donny. I’ll try. But no guarantees.”

“I know it’s not your problem. I just… I’m at my wit’s end here. It’s killing my mother. And I can’t keep letting it go. I just need somebody to reach Tony. Maybe having yours and Will’s involvement could achieve that.”

“You really think it will matter to him?”

“I think it could change his entire life. But only if you can get past his bitterness bullshit.”

Daunting task. “Speaking of difficult, do you remember my little sister, Vickie?”

“Uh, vaguely. She was several years younger than me in school, so I didn’t pay much attention to her.”

“Yes, well we had plans tonight. Do you mind if she comes along too?”

“Nah. Not at all. The more, the merrier. See you both then.”

“Bye, Donny.”

Slipping her phone into her pocket, Gretchen’s stomach was already jumping with nerves in anticipation of tonight.

****

Gretchen followed Vickie to the front door of a house she hadn’t entered for nearly a decade. How could she let things slide so long? After she divorced Will, she and Tony managed to see each other a few times whenever he was home on leave. Later, however, they seemed to lose each other until there was no contact at all. She spent half her life at his house in her teens. She used to walk inside the house without ever knocking. Leila and she were once very close. Leila was like her second mother as a teen, and yet, despite living in the same town, Gretchen had not visited her in many years.

Leila answered the door. She resembled Tony so much, it nearly took Gretchen a step back in surprise. She had the same shade of brown hair, and ironically, now wore it at the same length as he. She was as tall as Gretchen’s own five-foot-nine, so when she pulled Gretchen inside for a long hug, they stood shoulder-to-shoulder.