The Blood Racer (The Blood Racer Trilogy Book 1) (22 page)

              “I think they’d agree that it wasn’t a mistake,” Rigel whispered.
              I shook my head. “I’m not so sure. They both gave their lives to try and make mine better, just for me to turn around and put it all at risk.”
              Rigel scooched closer to me. “I don’t think they’d see it like that. You knew the dangers of the race. You knew what could go wrong. I think they’d be proud that you had the strength to take the chance. Not many people could do that. It’s a special person who can risk it all for the right cause.”
              I kept my lips pressed tightly together, afraid of what heartbroken sound might come out of them.
              “They’d be proud of you, Ellie,” Rigel said quietly. “Just like I am.”
             
Oh, no
, I thought.
Not now
.
              The tears were back, and for some reason, there was no stopping them this time. A sob escaped my throat before I could slap a hand over my mouth. I was past the point of no return, now. “I miss them, Rigel!” I blubbered pathetically. “I miss them so much…I hate it…”
              Immediately, he was there, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into him. For several minutes, I wept silently against his chest, letting the warmth of his body slowly calm me. Without saying a word, he gently stroked the short hair on the back of my head, just letting me cry. He didn’t even seem to care that I was ruining his shirt. I can’t say for certain what exactly brought on the sudden attack of emotion, but it was foreign territory for me. Even at home, alone in my room, I always forced myself to hold everything together. I had worked hard to build up the walls that protected me from my own pain. Now, they were cracking. The pressure of the race was taking a heavy toll on them.
            After some time, I managed to regain a tiny semblance of composure and pulled back from Rigel, wiping the wetness from my face.
              “Sorry,” I told him, sniffling loudly. “I’ll…be sure to not do
that
again.”
              He smiled sadly. “I wouldn’t mind it,” he said. “Ever.”
              As I used the backs of my wrists to dry my eyes, I heard him sigh deeply. “What’s wrong?” I asked.
              He lowered his head and looked up at me from beneath his creased brow. “Ellie, I’m so sorry…for running. You were right. I was stabbing you in the back. I should never have done it. I’m really sorry.”
              I shook my head. “No, you dummy. I was just mad when I said that. Don’t worry.”
              He began tapping his fingers on the worn sole of his work boot, starting a rhythm out of the emptiness. “I felt bad as soon as I did it,” he said quietly.
              “So…why
did
you do it?”
              He pursed his lips and lowered his eyes. He continued to pick at his boot sole, drawing in a slow breath. “I guess I felt like…I had to.”
              I narrowed my eyes at him. “Why would you feel like that?”
              “Because I put myself in a stupid spot,” he said quickly, looking as guilty as ever.
              Leaning toward him, I grabbed his hand to stop his fingers from fidgeting. “Rigel…what did you do?”
              He finally raised his head up and tucked his knees up toward his chin. “I made a deal with Merrick Buchannon.”
              I felt my face slowly contorting with dread. He made a deal? With an Archon? For what? Why? My mind was processing the information faster than my mouth could even begin to form words. Merrick Buchannon? What would Rigel possibly have been dealing with him for? Surprisingly, the answer occurred to me after just a moment.
              “The
Alpha Red
,” I muttered. “That’s where you got the airship.”
              He nodded, sighing deeply again. “Yeah. That’s what I was doing in Rainier that one day…when I asked you for a ride to the city.”
              “What kind of deal, Rigel?” I asked, closing my eyes and dreading the answer. If it was with Merrick Buchannon, it wasn’t going to be good.
              “Seventy-five percent,” he answered dejectedly. “He gives me the ship and the gear, and I give him seventy five percent of the winnings.”
              I shook my head. “And if you lose?”
              “I pay him for the fuel and any repairs,” Rigel said. “If I wreck the ship, I owe him every penny that it’s worth.”
              “Are you out of your mind?” I asked loudly, pushing myself up to my feet. “That’s not just a stupid spot, that’s a do-or-die spot! That ship is probably worth more tokens than you’d make in twenty years!”
              “I know that!” Rigel shot back, standing up beside me. “And that’s what I’m sick of! Working myself to death every day…so I can make just enough money to have nothing! My dad got stuck in that hole, and I don’t want to follow him down! I want to be able to keep all of us out of it!”
              I stepped closer to him, placing a hand on his elbow. “But Rigel, the
Alpha Red
isn’t a barge or a dirigible, or any of those giant things that you’re used to piloting around the docks. You don’t have that much experience in a normal ship. Why would you put all of your hopes into winning this race?”
              He looked down at me, and I watched his eyes soften as he let go of his anger. “Because it’s the only way, Ellie. It’s the only way I can make a better life for myself, for you, for dad. I just wanted…some freedom.”
            I had no choice but to forgive him now. His reasoning for entering the race was one that I definitely identified with. I wanted freedom, too. I wanted to escape the drudgery of hoping for deliveries or shuttle jobs, of wondering whether each day was going to be the one that something went wrong. I had no money either, and with two siblings to take care of, I was one incident away from total ruin. A burned out engine, a broken arm, any random thing could spell doom for my family and me. With the winnings from the race, those days would be over, and I wanted that just like Rigel did.
            Now I understood exactly why he thought he had to take the clue from me. I still didn’t like it, but I understood. He was thinking of the endgame. He was thinking of winning his freedom.
              Luckily, my hair was just long enough for me to grab two handfuls as I gritted my teeth and groaned in exasperation. “Rigel, this puts
me
in a spot,” I said, looking up into his guilt-ridden eyes. “I was sort of planning on winning, too.”
              He nodded glumly. “I know. That’s why I tried to convince you not to join the race. That’s why I didn’t want you to race Audra that day on the way to Rainier. I knew you’d get a taste for it. And I didn’t want to have to compete against you.”
              “Why?” I asked. “Because you knew I’d beat you?”
              I hadn’t meant it as a joke, but Rigel gave a light chuckle. “That, yes,” he admitted. “And I didn’t want to have to worry about anything happening to you.”
              I felt awful for him in that moment. He was definitely stuck in a terrible position. To be fair, though, he had put himself there. He had been the one to put everything on the line…with an Archon, no less. There would be no getting out of that deal. Buchannon would get his money, or he would get Rigel.
              I leaned my head back and let out a deep breath. “I can’t believe you, Rigel. Ugh…I can’t believe you did that.”
              “Trust me, I know,” he replied morosely. “It wasn’t too well thought out.”
              I wanted to scold him some more, to really drive it onto his head, but it sounded like he already knew how stupid it was, how foolhardy. I felt for him. I did. But I was still going to try to win the race. After all, I would have enough tokens to pay for his fuel and repairs to the
Alpha Red
. I had planned on taking care of Rigel, anyway. He was my best friend, after all.
              “We should get going,” he said to me, looking up at the twilit sky. “We don’t want to miss it.”
              “Miss what?” I asked, already walking in the direction of the warehouse. “What’s happening?”
              He fell in beside me, stuttering one step just so our strides would match. “There’s a contest down at the docks in a few minutes. I heard them announce it earlier. Something to do with flying. Whoever wins gets a special prize.”
              “A prize?” I asked, immediately intrigued. “What is it? Will it help win the race?”
              Rigel shrugged. “They didn’t say. I would bet that’s it, though. What else would they offer at the halfway point?”
              “True,” I replied. I was suddenly tingling in my fingers and toes. My excitement had been stirred, and I was now intensely curious as to what kind of contest, and what kind of prize, might be waiting for me. Quickly, I turned and gave the Wall of the Fallen one last parting glance before it was out of sight. For a minute, or so, Rigel and I walked in silence, both of us hurrying our steps to make sure that we were there when the contest began. After a bit, however, I heard him clear his throat.
              “So, I gotta ask,” he said, his voice light. “Did Toby happen to give you a…an envelope from me?”
              I looked up at him in confusion, my face frowning. Just as I was about to say that he hadn’t, I suddenly remembered. “Yes!” I said loudly. The sudden memory had increased my volume, for some reason. “Yeah, he did give it to me before I left for Rainier.”
              Rigel nodded. His expression was unfathomable, but I could tell that he was thinking something over. “Did you…maybe…read the letter in it?”
              If I was honest, I hadn’t seen it since I left Rainier. It was somewhere in the
Cloud Kicker
, but I had totally forgotten about it until just now. Still, the way he had asked me made me sure that it was something he was hoping I had seen by now.
              I opened my mouth to admit that I had forgotten it, but I couldn’t seem to get the words out. He was already feeling badly enough, I didn’t want to make him feel even worse. “Yeah,” I said, wishing I had taken the time to think of a better answer.
              “You read it?” he asked, looking over at me with his eyebrows raised.
              I nodded again. I was already in too deep. Nothing smarter than covering a lie with another lie, right? “Yeah, I did. I read it yesterday.”
              We walked several more steps, but he didn’t take his eyes off me. It looked like he was trying to read my expression. “You read it…
and
?”
              “And it was…really good to read,” I said, managing a smile. “Thank you for writing it for me.”
              He slowly turned his head to face forward again without another word. I quickly glanced over at him, trying to gauge his reaction. He looked like he was deep in thought again. Had I given him the right answer? Or was it the wrong one? I couldn’t quite tell. Rigel once again took up the his finger tapping on his thighs, but we didn’t say anything else to one another for the rest of our walk.
              “Oh, no,” I muttered as we emerged onto the docks. The crowd of onlookers from earlier in the day had returned. It was dark now, but the docks were well lit with tall, bright lights. Even so, many of the spectators held small candles in their hands as they murmured amongst each other. As Rigel and I approached, I began to feel the excited static in the air, the charge of anticipation that was pulsing through the crowd. My adrenaline was already on an upswing.
              The spectators were roped off to keep them separate from the racers, but both groups seemed to just be standing around, waiting for something. I was glad to see this. It meant that we hadn’t missed the contest. I spotted the group of racers, probably fourteen in all, and made my way toward them. John and Grace were immediately recognizable, as was Audra and her stupid cape. I also recognized the man that Killian had referred to as “Thorn”. Toward the back, though, I spotted Darby and Killian, and we made our way to them.
              “We didn’t miss it, did we?” I asked.
              Darby turned around and smiled at me. “Hey. I was hoping you’d be here. Apparently, there’s gonna be a speech from the Archons before it starts.”
              Rigel shifted uncomfortably next to me. “Hopefully not Merrick,” he groaned. Darby and Killian both gave him weird glances, but he didn’t elaborate. If he wasn’t telling, then I wouldn’t either.
              “Any word on what the actual competition is?” I asked, changing the subject.
              Killian shrugged. “Nothing that we’ve heard. Oh! Here come the Archons now!”
              As soon as he spoke those words, the crowd around us broke out into applause, whistling and cheering loudly. I spun on my heel just in time to see the Archons strolling toward the docks, each of them carrying lit candles in their hands. It was just the three of them, as was the usual now, but out of habit I still looked for the fourth, Harrison Keene, when they were all together. It still seemed odd to see them all without him. With him and his son Garrett both gone, the group of them seemed so much smaller, less powerful.
              Merrick Buchannon was waving extravagantly to the spectators, his wide smile firmly in place. Beside him, Beatrice Montgomery walked with her nose tilted into the air, letting the candlelight bounce playfully across the porcelain-perfect skin of her face. Her eyes were dark and stern, and didn’t share any of the mirth of Merrick’s. Ahead of them, Gideon Chambers - the Archon of Shiloh - and his son Jonah, marched regally toward the racers. Subtle smirks played at the corners of both of their mouths. They clearly loved being worshipped by the citizens.