Authors: Daisy Styles
She rose, swiped away her tears of pain and despair and then, with one last lingering look, she left the hospital and headed home to the only people in the world she could talk to.
Weary and heartbroken, she returned to the digs where her friends were eagerly awaiting her return.
âHow was he?' Elsie asked as she removed Agnes's
damp coat, although she knew from the sight of her friend's face that she didn't really need to ask.
Weak and depressed as she was, Lillian's heart went out to Agnes, who looked like she'd aged twenty years since she'd left them.
âSit down and get warm, then have some tea,' she urged as she settled Agnes on the sofa.
âTell us your news?' Emily begged.
Clutching a mug of steaming-hot tea, Agnes gazed into the loving faces of her devoted friends. Tears welled in her eyes and the heartbreak she'd bottled up all day on the train bubbled out of her.
âStan might be alive â¦' she sobbed. âBut he's a living corpse â he didn't even recognize me!'
As a hard winter set in and the year turned, families in Pendle heard that their lads in the Lancashire Fusiliers were battling it out against Rommel's German army in Tripoli. Elsie, who'd hardly ever attended school in Gateshead, had no idea where Africa was, never mind Tripoli. During one of their tea breaks, Emily, who'd been avidly following news of the Lancashire Fusiliers, took it upon herself to teach Elsie some geography on the back of a copy of the
Daily Herald
. She drew the bulky shape of Africa and put a star where Tripoli was, then she drew a sketchy map of occupied Europe.
âWe're here,' she said as she put a big circle around England. âAnd Tommy is, fingers crossed, there,' she added as she pointed at the star that represented Tripoli.
âOh â¦' Elsie's voice trailed away. âHe's a long way away.'
âHopefully, he'll soon be heading this way,' said Emily as she drew an arrow up to the heel of Italy. âAcross the Med and into Italy.'
As Elsie's geography lesson continued, a woman the girls knew from the loading bay yelled over the high notes of the all-women Ivy Benson Band blasting out from the radio, âLillian Liptrott, Lillian Liptrott!'
Lillian, who was humming along to the music, didn't even hear the call.
Agnes waved a hand in the air.
âOver here.'
In a hurry, the woman dropped a letter on top of Emily's sketch of North Africa.
âJust found this in my pigeonhole, cock,' she said with a cheery laugh. âMust've got there by mistake.'
As if in a slow-motion dream, Lillian looked at the grubby, crumpled, airmail envelope with writing on the front so smudged she could barely decipher her name. The back of the envelope was half open, which indicated it had been read for censorship purposes.
Struggling for breath, she gasped, â
Gary!
I think it's from Gary.'
Then, turning as white as a sheet, Lillian swayed in her chair.
âCatch her before she faints!' cried Agnes.
On either side of her, Emily and Elsie grabbed Lillian by the arms and steadied her.
âDeep breaths, sweetheart, deep breaths,' Agnes said as she wiped Lillian's clammy brow.
Grasping the letter in her trembling hands, Lillian croaked, âRead it.'
Agnes read aloud.
âMy darling girl, can you ever forgive me? I've kept you in the dark because my squadron were totally in the dark too! We were transferred from our Lancashire base overnight, no chance of saying goodbye to you, my love. We were driven to an unknown destination then our training began for a top-security mission â¦'
What followed had been crossed out by the censor.
âTrust me, sweetheart, I was going crazy thinking about you. I asked if I could write to you, phone you? The answer was always a definite no. None of us could have any communication with the outside world till our mission to â¦'
âThe censors have crossed out wherever they were going to,' Agnes said as she scanned down the letter.
â
He
was going out of his mind? How about
me
?' laughed Lillian as colour returned to her cheeks.
Agnes continued reading.
âWe flew out at dawn, a bunch of us in B-17s, on a mission to strategically bomb enemy bases. I tell you, Lillian, we had no idea we were part of an offensive air operation against Germany â a massive all-American air attack in Europe! Believe me, it was damn scary, but we got the Hun on the run! Hell, when we found out what we'd achieved, we were proud, man, we were
so
proud!Since then we've been detailed in some God-awful place in Wales, awaiting further orders.
Darling, when I think of you I just ache with love â¦'
Agnes smiled as she folded the letter and handed it back to Lillian.
âThe rest is a bit personal,' she laughed.
âCheck the envelope,' Emily suggested. âSee where it was posted?'
Lillian squinted at the small print.
âNothing but the date,' she said, then she gasped in disbelief. âCan you believe it?' she cried. âIt's taken all these months to get here! All the time I was thinking Gary
might be dead ⦠and losing the baby â¦' Her voice choked with emotion. âAll that time he was in Wales!'
âWell, he couldn't have done anything even if he'd wanted to,' Emily pointed out. âNot if he was banged up on a top-security mission.'
Lillian nodded and smiled; already the sparkle was back in her big brown eyes.
âAs long as he's alive and he loves me, I can wait for ever,' she said dreamily.
Seeing Lillian radiant and happy for the first time in a long time gave Elsie the confidence to reveal her secret.
âI'm got something to tell you,' she said shyly.
Her friends turned expectantly towards her.
âYou're not going on a bombing raid too?' Lillian joked.
Elsie shook her head and blushed bright scarlet as she replied, âI'm pretty sure I'm pregnant, like!'
Agnes, Lillian and Emily leaped to their feet and threw themselves on Elsie, squeezing and hugging her until she could hardly breathe.
âGive us a bit of air,' she cried.
âWhy didn't you tell us sooner?' Emily asked.
âIt didn't seem right, what with Lillian being so sad and poorly,' Elsie answered quietly.
âThat's all in the past,' said Lillian staunchly. âNow it's time to think about
you
, Elsie.'
âDoes Tommy know?' Agnes asked.
âI wrote to him straight away but â¦' Her voice trailed away.
Her friends knew what the âbut' meant. Her letter, like thousands of others, could have got lost or, worse, Tommy could be dead, imprisoned, lying injured by a roadside
somewhere between Tripoli and Tunisia, never knowing he was a father-to-be.
âThis bloody rotten war,' Lillian seethed under her breath.
âDon't fret, lass,' said Emily, her voice upbeat, her tone defiant. âWe're your Phoenix family and we'll take care of you till Tommy gets home.'
The following day, as the girls clocked off their shift, Agnes was taken aside by the personnel officer, who told her that the empty bed vacated by Alice would soon be taken by a new munitions girl from London. When Agnes broke the news back at the digs a loud groan went up from Elsie, Lillian and Emily.
âOh, no!' said Emily. âAnd I'm the one who has to share with the new lass.'
âI suppose it couldn't last for ever,' said Elsie. âThough I was secretly planning to put my wee bairn in the spare bed when it was born,' she added with a giggle.
âWhat if this London woman's posh?' Lillian said.
âThat's all we need,' Emily laughed. âSomebody with airs and graces living alongside us in a cowshed!'
Towards the end of the week Elsie, tired and with an aching back brought on by constantly bending over the conveyor belt, took herself off to the digs for a stretch-out on her bed.
âWe'll join you soon,' Agnes said as she lingered behind in the canteen, drinking tea with Emily and Lillian.
Yawning and rubbing the small of her back, Elsie opened the door of the digs and walked in, only to get the shock of her life. There in front of her was a man she'd hoped she'd never see again: her tyrant of a father. He was waiting for her in the sitting room.
In a single split-second the camaraderie she'd just been
enjoying with her friends was banished from her mind as she was whizzed back to her former existence in Gateshead: the fear, poverty, pain and constant abuse. How had her monster of a father tracked her down? What did he want?
Terrified, Elsie looked wildly around.
âYou shouldn't be here. It's not your house,' she cried.
âI've come for your wages,' her dad snarled.
âI haven't got any money,' she lied.
With an arm raised, her dad took a step towards her.
âDon't give me that shit!' he yelled as he laid into her, hitting her hard around the head and face. âEverybody knows munitions girls earn a packet and I've come for what's owed to me.'
Elsie, who did have savings hidden under a loose floorboard not six feet away from where her father was standing, would have preferred to lose a limb rather than part with the money she'd saved up for her baby.
âI've got no money!' she repeated and before he could hit her again she bolted for the door.
âBITCH! Get back here,' her dad bellowed as Elsie shot like a terrified rabbit out of the house.
Though pregnant, Elsie could run faster than her father, who, unused to moorland tracks, stumbled as he gave chase.
âWait till I get hold of you,' he gasped as he tried to keep up with her.
Coming back from the canteen, Emily and Lillian were surprised to find the digs empty and the front door standing wide open. Hearing cries coming from the moors, they ran to see what was going on. Nothing could have prepared them for the sight of Elsie being pursued by a man.
âQuick!' Lillian yelled as she set off running. âElsie's in trouble.'
Emily followed, but not before picking up the bread knife from the kitchen table.
Out of breath and gasping for air, Elsie was forced to stop as a sharp pain shot across her side. Scared that she might have damaged her baby, she fell onto the soft ground.
When her father found her hugging her small rounded belly his anger doubled.
âFilthy bitch!' he yelled at her again. âYou've got yourself knocked up too!'
Seeing her father coming at her, Elsie curled into a tight ball.
âDad! No, please, no!' she screamed.
âI'll beat the bastard out of you,' he raged, and without a doubt he would have done if Emily and Lillian hadn't thrown themselves on his back and dragged him away from his sobbing daughter.
He put up a good fight, punching out in all directions, but finally Emily drew the bread knife on him.
âCome one step nearer and I'll cut you,' she said. The blazing light in her blue eyes gave Elsie's dad no cause to doubt her words.
With a busted lip and scratches all over his face, he stepped away.
âI'll be back, whore,' he snarled at Elsie, who was crouched hiding behind her friends. âI want my money.'
Still pointing the blade at him, Emily replied, âDon't even try it, mister.'
Threatening all kinds of revenge, Elsie's dad slunk
back across the moors, leaving his daughter half fainting with relief.
âOh, God, has he gone?' she whispered.
âHe's gone,' said Lillian as she reached down to help Elsie to her feet. âCome on, lovie, let's get you home.'
Trembling, Elsie was too frightened to move.
âWhat if he follows us? He knows where I live.'
Emily shook her head.
âHe won't come back, not now anyway. Like all cowards, he knows when he's outnumbered.'
Standing on either side of Elsie, they got her to her feet and half carried her back across the moors, which were now dark in the fast-fading light. Once in the digs they patched up her wounds and settled her into bed, where they kept her warm with hot-water bottles. All night long Agnes, Lillian and Emily took it in turns to sit with Elsie, who slept fitfully due to the cuts and bruises on her face and the agitated state she was in.
âI'm scared stiff she's going to lose the baby,' Lillian fretted.
âAs long as we keep her calm and quiet, she'll be all right,' Agnes assured her friends.
Eventually all the girls fell into an exhausted sleep. A hand shaking her shoulder and a soft voice in her ear roused Lillian early the next morning.
âCuppa tea?'
Lillian started awake and stared into the face of Elsie, who was bending over her with a steaming mug of tea.
âGet back into bed!' she cried as she removed the mug from Elsie's hand and ushered her back into her empty bed.
âI'm dressed and ready for work,' Elsie pointed out to her bleary-eyed friend.
Hearing voices, Agnes and Emily came rushing into the bedroom.
âWhat're you doing up?' Agnes cried.
âWill you all stop your fussing?' Elsie replied.
Nothing would convince Elsie to stay at home and rest. In the end she confessed that she was scared of being alone just in case her dad came back. Seeing her so nervous and vulnerable, her friends agreed she'd be safer in numbers and they all clocked on for their morning shift with Elsie sporting two black eyes.
During their first tea break, with
Workers' Playtime
jangling out over the loudspeaker system, Elsie begged her friends not to tell Tommy of the previous day's events.
âIt's not like he's here to tell,' Lillian pointed out with a laugh.
âYou mustn't say a word to him when he gets home,' Elsie replied in all earnestness. âThe less he knows, the better.'