The Boy Who Paints Me (11 page)

“Rai?”

“Mmm hmm.”

“You’re not staying here are you?” He asked seriously as he stared at me. I knew what he meant, instantly and my body stiffened. I had been so caught up in the moments that I kept having with Leighton that I had forgotten the purpose of coming here. I was just supposed to be buying myself time while I found the next place to move on to. It wouldn’t be long before Mitch found out where I was, and I needed to be long gone by then, if I ever wanted a chance at a normal life. Life here, with Leighton felt right but it wasn’t the life destined for me, it wasn’t mine to have. What I was doing right now was selfish.

“Sorry,” I mumbled as I slid my legs from around his waist. “Can you take me home, please?” I asked as I took a couple of steps away from him in the water. I couldn’t look at him because if I did then I would let it all out. I would tell him everything, share all of my secrets. I couldn’t do that, not ever. Starting whatever this was with Leighton wasn’t fair on anyone, especially not him, and I needed to keep my distance.

“Wait, Rai -”

“No, Leighton, please,” I begged as I pleaded with my eyes.

“Just answer one question, and then I promise that we’ll go,” he pleaded. I nodded my head as I heard him take a step closer to me.

“I know that for whatever reason, you think that you have to go but if you had a choice, if there was another way, would you stay?” He asked with a sad expression on his face.

“There is no way.”

“But what if there was?”

Yes.
“No,” I lied. As I watched the hurt expression spread across his face, I felt the guilt shoot through my entire body. It was for the best. I was doing the right thing.
Then why did it hurt so bad?
“I answered your question, now please can you take me home?”

“Yes,” he said as he walked towards the deck. I watched as he silently pulled himself up, and disappeared into the distance.

It hurt me to see him go but I didn’t know what else to do. Eventually I would have to leave everything behind, and when I did, I didn’t want anything holding me back. I didn’t want to drag anybody else into my mess of a life.

As I walked towards the car and felt the pain shoot through my heart, I did the only thing that I knew how to; I handed it over to Rain. She never felt the pain, she was good at that. As I opened the car door, I watched as Rain got inside and sat next to the one person that made me feel like I could get rid of her forever. The one person that makes me feel so complete, yet so empty, at the same time.

Chapter 6

It had been one whole week since mine and Leighton’s ‘talk’ at the lake. I knew that I had hurt him but I couldn’t take it back. I wanted to, believe me I did, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t drag him into this, I couldn’t be so selfish. He still insisted on driving me to and from the diner every time that I had a shift. I didn’t argue with him because it was the only opportunity that I got to see him. Our journeys to the diner were practically silent. Every time, I would just get in the car, put my seatbelt on, rest my head against the window and wait until he stopped outside of the diner.  He would only ever say three things to me: ‘hi’, when I first stepped in the car, ‘have a nice day’, when I stepped out and ‘here’, when he handed me the pack lunch that he had decided to make me every day. The first day that I tried to turn down the lunch that he had made me, he simply said ‘diner food isn’t good to eat everyday’ and that was it. I had silently accepted it every day after that. It was always a neatly cut ham sandwich with a tiny layer of mayo spread on it. There was always a bunch of green grapes, wrapped in a neat little bag, a candy bar and a bottle of water. It was nice.

The truth was that even though I saw him most days, I missed him. I missed the real him. I missed seeing his smile as his golden brown eyes sparkled with joy. I missed hearing him laugh or say something that I had never heard anyone else say. I missed him telling me to ‘live in the moment’. I missed the electric feeling that shot through my veins every time that his hand slipped into mine. I missed the fact that he was the only person that could touch me and make it feel so incredibly good. Most of all, I missed him calling me ‘Rai’.

Aunt Sarah had called me a few days ago to explain that her trip had been extended. It turns out that in my three year absence she had been promoted to surgeon at the hospital. Her holiday wasn’t just a holiday, but work. I understood and told her that she didn’t have to worry about me. She didn’t sound too convinced of course but she accepted it anyway. I was glad that she wasn’t back yet because I knew that she would have a lot of questions. Questions that I wasn’t prepared to give the answers to.

My thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a knock at the door. I knew that it was Megan since she had invited me to the beach today. I had to admit that I was actually starting to enjoy her company, and Layla and Caroline’s too. I didn’t have any friends in the last three years of my life, and it felt good to finally experience what it was like again. I was starting to enjoy my life here a little more than I should but I couldn’t help it.

I looked at myself in the mirror one more time before heading down stairs to let her in. Once Megan had convinced me to come to the beach she then insisted that I went bikini shopping with her. I was nervous since I had never worn one before. I always used to wear full bathing suits, well before Mitch anyway, after Mitch there wasn’t a need for any since we didn’t go anywhere. I was also a little apprehensive about having so much of my body on display. Megan reassured me that everyone would be dressed the same and that I would blend in. When she saw how nervous I was, she took me to buy a few beach dresses. I was grateful. I stared at the blue dress with small white polka dots that covered my blue bikini with a smile on my face. It came to just above my knee, and I felt comfortable. It wasn’t until I heard the door knock again that I realised that I needed to make a move. I picked up the beach bag that Megan had picked out for me. She said that it needed to be blue as well. I scanned the items inside to make sure that I had all of the things on the list that Megan had written for me. I looked down at the list:

Towel

Sun Lotion

iPod

Book

Headband

Once I was satisfied that I had everything on the list, I made my way down the stairs. I didn’t like the idea of putting on sun lotion on the beach so I had already done it. I brought it just in case anyone else needed it.

“Oh my gosh! If I was a guy, it would be on. Damn, Rainie, you look hot!” She beamed as I opened the door.

I giggled to myself as I looked at her standing there in a pair of denim shorts and a yellow bikini top. Her brown hair was pulled back in a messy bun just like mine and her green eyes were wide with excitement. I was starting to get used to Megan’s bubbly personality, it was actually quite contagious, like Leighton’s.

“Thank you, you don’t look too bad yourself,” I chuckled as I stepped out of the door and locked it.

“Got everything?” She questioned, eyeing up my bag. I nodded my head before following her to her truck. “So, you ready to have some fun?” She asked, excitedly.

“I think so.”

“Girl, this isn’t time for thinking, it’s time for doing,” she giggled as we jumped inside of her pink truck. I was pretty shocked when I first laid eyes on it. She explained that she hadn’t bought it that way but begged her dad and her brother to paint it for her. After weeks of whining they finally gave in and Roxy was born. Roxy was the name that she called her car. “Come on, Rox,” she mumbled as the sound of the ignition dying, caused her good mood to slowly fade. She slipped the key in again, turned it and then smiled when it roared to life. “Oh yes,” she said as she started to drive towards the beach.

“So, have you spoken to Leighton yet?” She asked, nervously. I had explained to her what had happened at the lake the other day when she started asking why Leighton and I always looked so miserable when he dropped me off at the diner. It was actually nice to tell someone other than myself how I felt. I left out a few details of course but it was a start.

“Other than our three sentence rides to the diner, no,” I answered, sadly.

“You two should just talk it out. He’s a great guy, just don’t push him away,” she said as she smile at me sympathetically.

“It’s just...complicated,” I breathed as I rested my head against the window.

“I know.”

We didn’t speak for the rest of the journey, and I was glad. My thoughts were consuming my mind, and the truth was that I really did want to sort out things with Leighton but I just had no idea where to start.

“We have arrived!” She shouted as we jumped out of the truck.

“You’re crazy,” I giggled as I watched her throwing her arm up in the air like superman.

“Better than being normal, right?” She grinned.

“Yeah,” I chuckled.

It wasn’t long before we found Layla and Caroline lying on top of their towels, in a nice warm spot on the beach. I had taken my sandals off as soon as we stepped on the beach, and the feel of the warm grains of sand, between my toes, felt great.

“Hey, girls,” Megan beamed as she took her towel out and laid it down next to Caroline.

“Hey,” they both sang in unison.

“Hey,” I replied as I followed Megan’s lead and laid my towel down next to Layla.

“So, what time did you guys get here?” Megan asked.

“Like an hour ago, you two seriously give being late a whole new meaning,” Caroline chuckled as she topped up the lotion on her arms.

“Blame missy over there,” Megan chuckled.

“Guilty,” I giggled as I threw my hands up in surrender.

“Always the good ones,” Layla chuckled as she raised her eyebrows at me.

“So, how’s the view?” Megan asked as she wiggled her eyebrows. I knew straight away that we weren’t talking about the beach.

“Nice, very nice,” Layla said as she lifted her shades a little as she gestured towards a group of guys.

“Oh, that is nice,” Megan replied.

“Not as nice as your brother,” Caroline added before throwing her lotion down in the sand next to her.

“Come on, like I needed to hear that,” Megan groaned.

“Don’t blame me; blame your parents for producing
that
. Do you know how wrong it would be if I didn’t appreciate such a fine creation,” she said before bursting out in laughter.

“So gross,” Megan mumbled as Layla and Caroline bumped fists. Like a pair of guys...yes.

“You agree, right, Rainie?” Caroline continued as she leaned forward to look at me. She was right, Callum was very good looking but compared to Leighton he was no match. I nodded my head discreetly as I tried to hide the smile on my face.

“Oh, not you as well, I thought I finally had someone on my team. I really need to shop for some new friends,” she said in mock frustration.

“Like you could find better than us, anyway, if you’ll excuse me ladies, I’m just going for a dip,” she said as she pulled out a tube of lip gloss and applied it on her lips.

“It’s funny how you’re going for a
dip
the minute that my brother steps in the water.”

“Oh, what a coincidence!” Caroline said as she pretended to be surprised. She quickly jumped to her feet, threw the lip gloss on her towel and dusted off her black bikini.

“Is that my lip gloss?” Megan shouted after her as she ran off towards the water.

We all watched as she mouthed the words ‘I can’t hear you’ and then jumped into the water while giggling. It was clear that Callum had some form of interest in her since his eyes and body moved towards her as soon as she entered the water.

“That girl is going to be the death of me,” Megan muttered as we all started laughing again. “Anyone up for a game of volley ball?” She asked excitedly.