The Broken Parts Of Us (3 page)

I
groan as I pull up at the mansion with Hannah and Hannah’s little sister. I’m not looking forward to this. She rubs her hand down her skirt and smiles over at me sweetly. I try not to scrunch my nose up at her. Damn, I'm so sick of her already; I don't know how I'm going to cope living with her. I know one thing; there’s no way in hell she’ll be the only one getting my dick. I'm already dreading ever letting her near it again.

I open the car door and slip out, opening the back for the kid. I wait for Hannah to round the car and she slips her hand in mine. This is such fucking bullshit. River will go off it when I tell her Hannah’s carrying my kid. She’ll see straight through me. She’ll know I don’t want to be with her.

The front door bursts open and River’s infectious smile beams at me. “Hey, baby. Come,” she says while wiggling her fingers, signaling me to get in her arms. I had been avoiding her, so she didn’t corner me and pump me for information. She can read me like no other and she would have made her mind up about Hannah before ever meeting her. Hannah stiffens beside me when River calls me baby, but River calls all three of us baby. She kept doing it by accident to begin with. She was so used to saying it to Sammy, it just slipped out all the time because we all lived together, so over time, she just decided to call us all baby, and even after she moved out it stuck. We all fucking like it. It makes us feel wanted and loved, and we are. River is the only female in our group and she takes her role of looking after us very seriously.

 I drop Hannah’s hand to embrace River. She vibrates with excitement and I almost feel guilty that she isn't getting a fellow female she can love and do shit with. I release my hold when she does and drop a kiss to her cheek.

“I brought a playmate for Mikey. Where’s my boy?”

River pales. I reach up and stroke her cheek. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

She quickly recovers and shakes her head. “Nothing I just, erm, you have to keep an eye on them while I dish up,” she murmurs.

I furrow my brow. “Okay.”

I smile and she grips my arm. “I mean it, don’t leave them alone together.”

I can’t help the chuckle that escapes my throat. “He’s five River. He won’t even care if she’s a girl.” Confusion shadows her face, then clears with a subtle shake of head.

“Come bring your woman through. I thought she was an illusion,” Sammy shouts from the kitchen.

Mikey comes barreling around the corner and collides with my legs, wrapping his small frame around me.

“Hey, buddy.” I reach down to pick him up, his smile just like his momma’s. “I have a present for you in my room. Go find it,” I challenge, putting him back to his feet.

Michael is the only reason I think I might be an okay dad. I fucking love that kid and would do anything for him. He’s the bright light from a very dark time.

I reach back for Hannah’s hand and drag her through to the kitchen. Sammy’s eyebrows nearly disappear into his hairline when he catches a glimpse of her. She looks like a legal secretary in what she's wearing—not dinner attire at all.

Sammy stands next to me as I release Hannah’s hand and turns to face her. “Hannah, this is Sammy.”

Her eyes take on a dreamy look, glossing over, and a smirk tilts her perfect lips.

I can't help the grin I give her. Yeah, Sammy is a good-looking guy. Together in college we had chicks begging us to take them home. A lot of people thought we were brothers. We both have dark hair and blue eyes; however, Sammy is bigger built than me. I keep a tight, trim physique.

Her eyes trail between the two of us. She is fucking high if she thinks she stands a chance at getting a go with Sammy. Did she not see River? Hannah isn't bad looking, but she isn't River; River is a grade A beauty.

“Look what Uncle Jasp bought me!” Mikey’s voice carries through the kitchen. He's holding up the game console I bought him.

Sammy’s hand clips me around the head. “You spoil him.”

I shrug, “That’s my job.”

River stares at Mikey, her eyes stormy like when she’s struggling with all her emotions. I wave my hand in front of her face to distract her, and stand next to her in the kitchen. “You okay, River?”

Her lips turn up into a weak smile. “Yeah I was just thinking about when I was pregnant with him.”

I smile back at her. I remember her feet swelling and me having to help her with her socks. Her eyes lock onto Hannah, who looks uncomfortable at the other side of the room.

“She’s not right for you.”

I close my eyes. I knew she would pick up on my fake feelings.

“You deserve to be loved and to fall in love, Jasp. It’s the most amazing feeling in the world. I want that for you,” she whispers.

“She’s pregnant, River.”

I watch the wonder, then disappointment cloud her beautiful eyes. Fuck, it hurt to see that in her eyes, to know I put it there.

“How did this happen?” I raise an eyebrow and she points her finger at me. “I know how you make a child, Jasp. I mean, you’ve always been adamant you’re careful.” She looks at Hannah again and runs her hand through her hair. She’s pissed.

“I am careful. I have no idea how this happened, River.”

She closes the few steps separating our bodies and wraps her tiny arms around my shoulders, bringing my head down into the crook of her neck. I bind a firm grip around her waist and breathe in her comfort; she smells like home and she is my home. I feel so fucking lost at sea at the moment. I squeeze her extra tight to gain as much comfort as possible.

“You’ll be an amazing father, Jasp. I just wanted you to have this with someone you love.” Her soft lips press against my temple.

“Hey, stop stealing my wife, you have your own woman now.” Sammy grins. “She’s not what I expected I must admit.” He laughs.

The sound of the front door opening saves me from speaking. Sounds of movement fill the lobby as River goes off to greet the guests.

“Kyra!” River beams as she’s met at the kitchen entrance by her friend. “I’m so glad you could make it.” She wraps her in an embrace.

Derek stands behind her, his eyes finding mine for the first time since the night we came together. There’s something in his eyes I can’t decipher, and he has me squirming like a teenage girl. He has such a commanding presence. His eyes scan the room, resting on Hannah and a look of distaste falls over his features.

“Let’s eat,” Sammy bellows to River who is whispering something to Derek. He rubs down her arms and looks to be comforting her. She nods her head and grips onto him. He pulls her close, his strong arms wrapping her in a safe cocoon. I know the comfort and safety that embrace offers. It's the same one that rescues me from my nightmares.

Kyra’s green eyes smile as she passes me, her red hair flowing like a veil down her back. She’s changed into tight as fuck jeans that squeeze her ass as she walks. Her green silk top makes her eyes stand out even more than they already did.

“Now, that’s more like it,” Sammy croons into my ear. I hadn’t even realised he had approached me; my eyes were glued to the red-haired beauty sauntering towards the dining room.

R
iver was trembling when I held her. She told me she wanted Michael and Sammy to have DNA tests done. I told her that after I drop Kyra off tonight, I'll stop by hers, so we can talk. I need to get inside her head and try to reason with her irrational thoughts.

“Who wants wine?” Sammy asks once we’re all seated at the table. Jasper’s woman and Kyra hold out their glasses. Sammy fills them, then brings beer for us and water for River. I look at her questioningly.  River developed a taste for wine from me, so to see her drinking water has me raising a brow.

“I’m pregnant!” She beams at me, then her smile falters and her eyes go to Michael who’s staring back at her.

“There must be something in the water.” An annoying high-pitched voice speaks over the silence that’s fallen over the table. I want to congratulate River and Sammy, but the odd statement coming from Jasper’s date has me staring at her. Jasper glares at her and Sammy chokes on the beer he’s in the middle of chugging.

“What the fuck?” Sammy questions.

“Hannah’s pregnant,” Jasper groans.

“Is it yours?” Sammy fires back. I feel Kyra shift in her seat.

“Excuse me?” Hannah whines.

Sammy’s eyes are trained on Jasper. “Jasper, what the fuck, man?” He stands and rubs his hands down his face “I know, Sammy. I don’t know how the fuck this happened, but it did and now I have to do what’s right by Hannah and my kid.”

I feel sick; Jasper will stay with this girl to do the right thing. He’s going to be a father. Shit! I didn’t see this coming.

“I’ve lost my appetite. Come, Rebecca,” Hannah says, snapping her fingers at a young girl sat next to Michael. The little girl rises to her feet and follows Hannah.

“Hannah, wait that was rude of him. Please stay, this is just really surprising is all. We’re sorry for the outburst,” River calls after Hannah’s retreating form.

“I know this is a big shock, but it was for me too and I need your support,” Jasper says before he follows Hannah out of the house.

I need some hard liquor; this beer isn’t going to do anything for me. I stand and go over to my bar with Sammy hot on my heels.

“Did you know about this? Is this why you and he aren’t talking?”

I spin to face him.

“No, I had no idea, but it kind of makes sense why he kept this one around.” I ignore his observation of me and Jasper not speaking. Sammy sits on a stool and chin lifts to a bottle of Jim Beam.

“I can’t believe he knocked someone up. He was always so fucking adamant he would never make that kind of mistake.” I pour him four digits worth and watch as he downs it one go and gestures for me to refill.

“Accidents happen. He’ll be a great father,” I reply as the deep, dark hole inside me grows bigger by the second.

“I don’t doubt he’ll be a great father, but to stay with a woman he clearly doesn’t love, maybe doesn’t even like, is stupid for whatever reason.”

I
breathe in the aromas surrounding the table; the pot roast sitting in the centre mocks me. I was ravenous when I got here and haven’t had a real home cooked meal since I left home four years ago.

I leisurely inch my spoon closer to the pot when my body becomes motionless. The beat of my heart slows each thump pulsing heavy in my chest as the announcements begin. I should have known there was a reason Jasper was with Hannah; River  told me Jasper liked to play the field, so no matter how much my body vibrates with hidden need when it is around him, I know it’s a feeling I’ll never give relief to.

I can’t be one in a long run of many; I value myself and my body more than that. My body is a gift for a partner who loves me, so Jasper will just have to remain a fantasy.

I cared about him ever since he first walked in and began dancing with River; his adoration for her is endearing and sparks an emotion right in my core just for him. I know he finds me attractive; Jasper's eyes are very expressive, and he isn’t shy when blatantly checking out my body. He’s beautiful. His dark hair makes the light blue of his eyes sparkle. He has full lips that lift into the most devilish smirk whenever he’s teasing or staring at me.

I knew getting close to Derek was a bad idea with him living and being so close to Jasper. It’ll force me to be around Jasper a lot more than before, but Derek has such a strong powerful presence. I feel as though I need to be near him; he makes me feel safe, content, wanted for more than just my body. When he looks at me, he really looks at
me
as a person, and that’s why I'm sitting here, smelling a dinner I more than likely won’t be able to stomach anymore. 

“Kyra, help yourself.” I look over to River. She, Michael, and I are the only ones left at the table. I hear Derek and Sammy having a discussion in the other room, but strain to hear what’s being said.

“I want you to be manager at the studio. I’ll need to take it easy and attend doctor appointments and maternity leave.”

I’m sure my jaw is on the table. I’ve only been at the studio eight months and in those eight months, River and I have become close, but there are other dancers there that have more experience than me yet she wants me. I feel honored and proud of myself. I moved away to make a life and this is a huge opportunity.