The Can't Cook Book: Recipes for the Absolutely Terrified! (23 page)

ACTUAL WORK TIME:
10 minutes |
TOTAL TIME:
10 minutes |
SERVES:
4

SALSA

1.
 
Place
the onion quarter in a food processor.
Pulse
a few times to roughly chop.

2.
 
Cut
the tomatoes into quarters and
cut
out the core.
Add
to the food processor.
Cut
off and
discard
the stem of the jalapeño.
Quarter
the jalapeño lengthwise;
cut
out and
discard
the white membrane and seeds.
Add
the jalapeño, cilantro, lime juice,
*
oil, and salt to the processor.
Pulse
a few times until it reaches salsa consistency.

GUACAMOLE

1.
 
Chop
the onion quarter
*
and
add
to a medium bowl.
Chop
the cilantro
*
and
add
to the bowl.

2.
 
Dice
and
scoop
the avocados
*
and
add
to the bowl with the lime juice,
*
salt, and garlic powder.
Stir
to combine.

Broil.

Slice.

Stuff.

Eat
.

THE MOST SIMPLE, BROILED, PERFECT HAMBURGER

ACTUAL WORK TIME:
25 minutes |
TOTAL TIME:
25 minutes |
SERVES:
4

Never made your own burger before? Broiling is the least messy way to do this, so fire up the heat. Let’s get this done.

Don’t Panic:
Shaping the meat patties and broiling to the perfect temperature might even be exciting for you.

1.
 It’s time to touch raw meat. First,
divide
into 4 even pieces.
Shape
into 4 balls, then gently
press
each into a
³
/
₄
-inch-thick patty—be sure not to overhandle/squeeze/smash it because it will toughen. Slightly
flatten
each patty a little more in the middle
(they tend to plump in the middle as they cook). If the edges crack,
press
them back together.

2.
 
Measure
¹
/
₄
tsp. of the salt, then
pinch
and
sprinkle
over the tops. Then
season
the tops with
¹
/
₈
tsp. of the pepper (about 6 turns on a pepper mill).
Turn
the patties over and
season
the same way with the remaining
¹
/
₄
tsp. salt and
¹
/
₈
tsp. pepper.
Refrigerate
on a plate until you’re ready to cook.

3.
 
Get
your toppings ready.

4.
 
Heat
the broiler (with the oven rack about 4 inches from the top).
Place
your patties on a broiler pan or rimmed sheet pan and
slide
under the broiler.
Keep
a close eye on them and
cook
until browned on the first side, 3 to 5 minutes. Then
flip
(resist the urge to smash down on the patties with your spatula) and
cook
another 3 to 4 minutes for medium.
Transfer
to a plate to rest.

5.
 To heat the buns,
split
them open and
place
cut side up on a rimmed sheet pan and
heat
under the broiler.
Build
your burger.

Your First Chili

ACTUAL WORK TIME:
20 minutes |
TOTAL TIME:
35 minutes |
SERVES:
6

DO NOT BE ALARMED. This ingredient list is long, I know, I know! Most of the ingredients you may already have in your pantry. You can measure and pour, right? That’s the bulk of the work, I promise.

Tools needed:
cutting board, chef’s knife, measuring cups and spoons, wooden spoon, can opener, large pot, strainer, kitchen timer.

Don’t Panic:
Chopping an onion and bell pepper is the only thing you need to do with your knife. The rest is very easy.

1.
 
Open
the can of tomatoes and
drain
and
rinse
the beans.

2.
 
Chop
the onion and
push
to one side of the cutting board.
*
Cut
the bell pepper into 1-inch pieces. To do this, first
cut
into quarters from stem to bottom, then
cut out
and
discard
the seeds and white part.
Cut
each piece in half again, then
cut
crosswise into 1-inch pieces.

3.
 
Place
a large pot (5- to 6-qt.) on the stove and
turn
the heat to medium-high.

4.
 
Measure
and
pour
in the oil and
heat
until it shimmers (1 to 2 minutes).
Add
the onion and bell pepper and
cook,
stirring often, until softened, 5 to 6 minutes.
Add
the meat and
cook,
breaking it up with a wooden spoon, until browned and cooked through, 6 to 8 minutes.

5.
 
Set up
your dry ingredients by the stove.
Stir
in the chili powder, cumin, and chipotle powder and
cook,
stirring, for 1 minute.
Add
the tomato paste.
Stir
in the tomatoes, vinegar, brown sugar, salt, and pepper (about 12 turns on a pepper mill).
Add
the beans to the pot along with the water and let come to a boil.
Lower
the heat to medium-low and
simmer
(low boil), stirring occasionally, for at least 20 minutes to develop the flavors (you may have to lower the heat if it starts to boil too rapidly).

6.
 If the chili becomes too thick, you can
add
up to
¹
/
₂
c. more water.
Serve
as is or with your favorite toppings, like grated Cheddar, sour cream, and chopped red onion.