The Changelings (War of the Fae: Book 1) (30 page)

I had moved to the inside part of the branch so I was against the tree's trunk.
 
I hugged it for all I was worth.
 
Don't let the wolves in the trees, don't let the wolves in the trees; protect us, protect us, protect us.

"Jayne, what are you doing?!" Tony shouted in full freak-out mode.

"She's talking to the tree, dummy!" retorted Becky.
 
"Give her some space!"

I opened my eyes in time to see Tony looking sheepish.
 

"I'm just asking it to keep the wolves out of the trees and to protect us," I explained.
 
I didn't want Tony to feel bad – this was a lot to process, so I was totally cool with any one of us losing our minds.

"How's it going to keep the wolves out of the trees?" Tony asked, looking down.
 

One particularly persistent wolf was jumping up, over and over, trying to reach the lower branch.
 
He was coming disturbingly close.

"I'm not sure; hopefully we won't have to find out."

No sooner had I said that than the wolf succeeded in grabbing that friggin' branch, to the absolute jubilation of his pack mates who started snarling and howling all at once.
 
The wolf on the branch fixed us with a hungry look, saliva dripping out of the corners of his mouth as he flexed his biceps, slowly lifting himself up and hooking his arms over the branch.

"Jayyynnne!" moaned Becky, near hysteria.

I could tell that the wolf thought he had it in the bag, a savage smile curling up the edges of his mouth – when all of a sudden the tree next to ours swung one of its branches over and whacked the ever-loving shit out of that wolf, right on its stupid wolf head.
 
The blow momentarily stunned him; he looked around not realizing where the assault had come from, naturally assuming it was from us.
 
He roared his displeasure and doubled his efforts to re-establish his hold on the branch and continue his upward movement.
 

But my lovely trees had other ideas.
 
Now two large branches from neighboring trees swung over, their wood protesting with groans and cracks that rang out through the forest.
 
They began beating him about the head and shoulders, causing him to yelp and snarl in frustration.
 
Then our tree started shaking its branch up and down, making it impossible for the carnivorous beast to hold on, especially when combined with the beat-down from the other trees.
 
The wolfman fell to the ground, landing on his back, stunned.

The other wolves stopped their snarling and growling for a minute, gathering around their fallen pack mate, sniffing the air above him.
 
He sat up and shook his head, trying to get rid of what I hoped was one hell of a headache.
 
Then he looked up at us with the most malevolent stare I've ever seen.
 
He was even madder than that hag had been when I stole her boyfriend away.
 

He growled at the group and they renewed their efforts to get us down from the tree; only this time, they were more subtle.
 
They just circled the tree, growling.
 
The look their bruised leader gave us said it all: they were going to wait us out.
 
We had to come down eventually.
 

It was then that I realized how bad I had to pee.
 
This was going to be a long fucking day.

"What time is it, Tony?" I asked.
 
I knew he didn't have a watch, but that didn't stop me from expecting him to know the answer.
 

He looked out over the calm water of the lake, gauging the sun's position by the reflections he was seeing.
 
"About five o'clock – give or take."

"I have to pee like a friggin' racehorse," I said to no one in particular.

"Me too," said Becky.

"Me three," said Tony.

I looked down.
 
All of the wolves were still there.
 
"At some point I'm just gonna have to pee on those fuckers."

"That'll make 'em happy," said Tony, tiredly.
 

I'm pretty sure he thought I was joking, but I wasn't.
 
I really had to go.
 

"Jayne, you probably shouldn't," cautioned Becky.

I sighed.
 
I didn't even know how I was going to work it, mechanically speaking.
 
I mean, I'd have to pull my pants down and dangle my hoo-ha over the branch, giving the wolves a perfect view of the Golden Palace of the Himalayas.
 
Too embarrassing, although there was a sort of poetic justice to peeing on your enemies when they weren't able to get to you; and it's not like they would kill me less painfully if I
didn't
pee on them.
 
Either way, I was going to die if they got their paws on me.
 
Might as well pee on 'em
, I decided.

I started to unzip my pants.
 

Tony went into panic mode.
 
"Jayne, do NOT wiz on the werewolves."

I looked down at the wolves.
 
I decided that it wouldn't technically be my fault if I warned them first.
 
"Hello, werewolves?
 
Excuse me!"

A few of them glanced up.

"Yoo hoo!
 
Werewolves!
 
Hairy motherfuckers!
 
Yeah,
you!
"
 

The one who had gotten bonked was looking up now.

"Yo, listen, I gotta pee.
 
You know, take a piss?
 
So I'm gonna unleash up here.
 
You might wanna look out below, if you know what I mean."

I watched in mid-unzip, while their leader, the one we had smashed, stood up and looked me in the eye.
 
A shimmering began to form around him, kind of outlining his body.

"What's he doing?" asked Tony.
 
"What's that ... stuff around his head?"

"How the fuck do I know?
 
Maybe he's going to turn into a vampire now."

We watched as his features quivered and changed.
 
They became less wolfish and more mannish.

Becky whispered, "I think he's turning into a guy ... "

Sure enough.
 
Where there was once a wolf standing, there was now a man.
 
A very naked one.
 
A very
hot
naked one.
 

He snarled at me.

A very hot, naked,
angry
one.

His voice was gruff.
 
"What are you saying, human girl?"

I cleared my throat.
 
I was a tad nervous.
 
It's not every day that I spoke to a totally hot naked man who I was getting ready to expose my parts to – and piss on.

"What I said, is that I have to pee, so if you don't want to get pissed on, I suggest you move your hairy asses out of the way."

His eyebrows screwed up as he processed what I said.
 
"You are going to urinate."
 
He said it like a statement, not a question.

"Yes, that would be the technical term for what I'm about to do."

"And you are telling us because you do not want to urinate on us."

"Yes, that's the idea."

"You realize that we are going to kill you and eat you, yes?"

"Well, that did actually appear to be your goal – so yes, I am fully aware of your plan to kill and eat me and my friends.
 
Not that I'm on board with this plan, mind you."

"Do not be foolish.
 
You have no escape.
 
We will wait for as long as it takes.
 
You will have to come down eventually."

"Yeah, well, when I come down I'm going to have to kill you, so maybe you should take this opportunity to move along.
 
I'm pretty sure the Loch Ness Monster's going to be paying us a visit soon anyway."

He frowned.
 
"Who is this monster you speak of?"

"The one in the lake."

The wolf looked out towards the water.
 
"The Lady of the Lake has no quarrel with The Wolf."

Ah, so it was a Lady of the Lake and not Nessie
.
 
Cool.
 
A chick I could handle.

"Yeah, well, I have weapons and I have friends, so I don't plan on being your next meal.
 
Not today.
 
Not ever."

The naked wolfman smiled.
 
"You are brave."
 

I smiled.

"And stupid."

I frowned.

"Go ahead with your urination."
 
He growled at his pack and they all moved away from the base of the tree.
 
He was still looking up at me.

"Um, could you tell them to turn around?"

He looked at me, confused.
 

I signaled with my finger, turning it in the air.
 
"Give a girl some privacy, would ya?"

He shook his head, but turned his pack around.
 

Imagine that
– a werewolf who lets a girl pee in private.
 
Little bits of coolness in my totally fucked-up life.
 
This place was full of surprises.

"Come on, Becky, now's our chance."

Tony didn't waste any time either.
 
We all dropped our drawers and peed for what felt like five full minutes.

As soon as the sounds stopped, the wolves returned, although wisely avoiding the areas too near the drop zones.
 

Now that I could think of something other than my full bladder, I had some questions.
 
"So, wolfman, what are you exactly?
 
A werewolf?"

He looked out into the forest, saying nothing.

"We're kind of new to this whole supernatural thing, so I was just curious.
 
Maybe you're a shapeshifter.
 
Do you turn into a vampire at night?"

The wolfman spit in disgust.
 
"Vampires ... "

"Ah, so you're not a werevampire."

"Do not be foolish," he yelled, angrily, looking up at me. "There is no such thing as a werevampire."
 
His eyes glittered with anger.

"Yeah, sure.
 
How foolish of me not to know that."
 
I rolled my eyes.
 
This guy obviously didn't get out of the forest much.
 
"So, do you know Mr. Dardennes?"

"All in the forest know Dardennes," was his curt response.

Now we were getting somewhere.
 
Tony and Becky were listening attentively.
 

"What about Jared Bloodworth, do you know him?"
 

Becky shot me a dirty look.
 
Tony just looked off into the distance, shaking his head.

The wolfman spat on the ground again.

Hmmmm, interesting.
 
"So you
do
know him?"

"Human, stop this useless interrogation.
 
Come down here and save us the trouble of coming up there.
 
I will make your death less painful."

I stared him in the eye, giving him my 'take no shit' look.
 
"Um, no I don't think so.
 
Not today.
 
Not tomorrow.
 
Not
ever."
 
In hindsight, the stare-down I gave him was probably not the wisest thing to do to a werewolf.

The wolfman snarled, shaking his head violently.
 
We watched in disgusted awe as he changed from a man back into his wolf form.
 
It was horrible and amazing all at the same time.
 
He was agitated, and his anger got the rest of them all riled up.
 
They began their pacing under the tree again, several of them starting with the vertical jumping stuff again.

"Jayne, if enough of them start getting up here, I'm not sure that the trees are going to be able to beat them off," said Tony.

He was right.
 
We were in a shitload of trouble, and I had probably made it a tad bit worse by antagonizing their leader.

Suddenly one of the wolves yelped in pain, dropping to the ground.
 
I looked down, trying to see what the hell was going on.
 
"Can you guys see what's happening?"
 

"No!" said Tony, desperately searching for clues as to what was freaking the wolves out.
 
And freaking out was definitely what they were doing.
 
All but one of them were lined up at the base of the tree, facing into the woods, snarling and growling.
 
The fur on their necks and backs was standing on end, their ears flattened, tails held straight out behind them.
 
The one on the forest floor wasn't moving.
 
It had an arrow shaft sticking out of its body.

 
"That's a fucking
arrow!
 
Finn's here!" I yelled.
 

Becky started shouting.
 
"Finn!
 
We're in the tree!
 
Be careful, there are seven of them!"

Another wolf yelped and fell, then got up, shaking its head and whining.
 
It took two steps sideways and then walked face first into the tree.
 
It turned around, obviously confused, now walking towards the lake.
 
One of the other wolves went over to it, nudging it in the side with its nose.
 
The injured wolf looked up, sniffing the air, but obviously not seeing.
 
I could see blood oozing out of its eyes and down around its ears.
 
What the hell?