The Charming Max (3 page)

But Sybille didn’t care about Christian since a long time ago. In fact, she started to feel bothered by him. “Tell him I’m studying.”

“Are you a moron? Of course I’m not gonna lie for your sake.” Cora retorted.

This made Sybille throw an angry look at her. “What do you mean? Of course I’m really studying.”

“I’m starting to doubt that. You’ve never been so serious about studies before. And since when you picked that habit of going to study room to study. Something is definitely going on.” Cora’s accusative tone was getting stronger.

Sybille lost her temper. “What, am I not allowed to pick new habit? Who are you? My creator?”

“If you are really clean, you should be able to at least e-mail Christian to tell him that you’re busy, instead of ignoring him altogether all this time. It’s like, you’re afraid to face him.”

It’s true. She’s afraid to face him, because she’d been cheating on him all the time he was waiting for her on the other side of the globe. What should she do? She was kind of hoping Christian would finally forget about her if she ignored him long enough, so she didn’t need to admit that she’d fallen for someone else.

Cora inched closer and looked straight into her eyes. “Did you cheat on him?”

That was the final straw. Sybille turned around, trying to hide her embarrassed look from her. She distracted herself by gathering up her toiletries for the bath.

But Cora couldn’t be fooled anymore. She shook her head, with disgusted look on her face. “I don’t fucking believe it.” Her tone was thick with disappointment. “Why did you do it, Sybille? Where’s your self-respect?”

“Stop judging me like you’re so holy!” retorted Sybille, still trying to put up some defense.

“I don’t care whom you fell for, but at least be woman and make up your mind on one guy!” Cora shouted. “Keeping a guy hanging while falling for another guy … what are you, 12 years old?”

That’s it. Sybille had enough. She dropped her toiletries and proceeded straight to her computer. Her e-mail for Christian was short and clear.

I’m sorry, I met someone else. Let’s break up.

Cora stood there, speechless.

The following days proved to be very hard for Sybille. Christian tried to call her phone thousand times (she had switched off her Skype) and even sent her numerous e-mails when the calls were ignored, from the confused
‘Is this a joke?’
to straight rage
‘Why the hell are you fucking doing this to me?????’

Sybille ignored all of them, didn’t even read them as she was afraid that she would be hurt by his words. She didn’t see that after a while his e-mails had toned down on the rage and more to sadness.
‘Please come back.’ ‘Choose me. Give me another chance.’ ‘I will quit my part time job and come back during summer break if you want me to.’

Those e-mails went straight down to trash bin without being read. She had made her decision.

It was cold war with Cora too. She was annoyed because Christian kept bothering her too as he dug out more information about what actually happened to Sybille. Her inbox was flooded by his e-mails asking for explanations (she too had switched off her Skype, thanks to his persistent calls). As a result, she blamed it on Sybille. Especially after Sybille chose to stay mum and kept the detailed story about her newfound love a secret from her, though it’s not hard to guess.

This whole situation started to take its toll on Sybille’s nerves. She wanted so badly to move on from this mess and be happy with Max ever after. They still kept their study dates as before, Max obviously not knowing the whole drama in her recent life. Damn, he probably didn’t realize the whirlwind ride he had taken Sybille’s heart on all this while! Sybille stared at his studying face in agony. When are you going to take me to the next step, Max? Her heart ached with longing. Come on, take me. Fly me up the clouds. Make me happy. “I’m waiting …”

Surprised, Max looked up from the books. “For what?” he asked confusedly.

For the time when you’d say you love me, she replied at heart. If only she’s brave enough to tell him that.

“Dinner! Isn’t it time?” said her instead, trying to put on cheerful look.

Max grinned widely. He put down his pen. “You’re right. Let’s go.” They walked out together. As usual, he would open the door and let Sybille out first before him.

They had a good time during dinner at the canteen nearby the study room. Max cracked some jokes, and they talked about things from news to celebrity gossips. It lifted her mood for a while. She felt happy again.

As Max was walking her back to her hall after the study session, the idea just came up. She wanted to know Max’s true feelings for her, under the façade of his niceness.

“Hey Max…”

“Yup?”

She hesitated a little. This is embarrassing. “Do you … have a girlfriend?”

Now he looked at her strangely. She couldn’t figure out what it meant. “No,” he answered, with some meaningful smile on his good looking face.

He doesn’t!
Her heart was beating so hard.

“Is there somebody you like?” She was getting brave.

He let out nervous laugh. “Why all of sudden?”

This was not the response she was expecting. A sense of panic started to creep into her veins. “There is, isn’t it?” she felt like she was going to die. “Do I know her?”

“Are we gossiping about
me
, now?” he tried to crack a joke.

But it wasn’t funny. She wanted to know the truth. She’s tired of beating around the bushes. Enough of guessing, dreaming, wishing and hoping, she thought. She was put up on the clouds long enough. Now she wanted to come back down to earth.

She looked away to hide her red face. “Well, I do like someone though.”

“You do?” his voice implied piqued interest.

“Yes, you can probably guess who he is.” She looked back at him, suddenly feeling so shy and smiled sheepishly. “I like you, you know.” It came out so much more easily than she had previously thought.

Max stopped his steps. He looked more surprised than what Sybille imagined him would have been. For a while, there were no words escaped his lips. They stood awkwardly, in the middle of the dark, for a long time.

“Well…” he started to break the silence. “Well I guess … I’m surprised..”

Tears started to well up in the corner of Sybille’s eyes. “Why?” she croaked. “Wouldn’t you have expected it, after you kept treating me like a princess?”

He looked back at her; drawing slight guilt on his face.

This was not the reaction she expected at all. She shook her head. “No, don’t feel guilty...” she pleaded. “Don’t say that all those sweetness and friendliness mean nothing…”

“Sybille…”

“Is that how you always treat other people?” she raised her voice. “Waiting for her, spending most of your days and having all your meals with her? Do you think it’s what normal people do??”

“Listen…” he reached her arm, trying to calm her down. “I mean … of course I like you a lot. I enjoyed spending a lot of time with you.” Sybille a little calmed down by his answer.

“This is my fault indeed … I had bad habit of being very nice to everybody, and I couldn’t resist helping beautiful damsel in distress…” he continued rattling on, restarting Sybille’s alert again.

“I’m not sure if I love you…Sybille…if that’s what you are asking for…”

Sybille stood there, paralyzed. The bomb was dropped so suddenly, when she was expecting paradise to happen. She didn’t know what to say. “What … what do you mean?” her body started shaking.

“I…I like spending time with you a lot.” He repeated. Guilt drenched his tone. Sybille knew he was trying hard to alleviate her pain. But it didn’t make her feel better.

“But…I’m not sure about love…or even relationship…”

“Then do something about it.” Tears started rolling down her cheeks. “Please do something about it, Max…” she pleaded.

But there was nothing Max could do about it. He knew. She knew. As she waited for miracle to happen, Max just stood there, full of guilt without being able to say any word that would make her happy.

She then yanked her hand from his grip, and ran away in tears.

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle

Life is a maze and love is a riddle

I don't know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried

And I don't know why

Slow it down

Make it stop

Or else my heart is going to pop

'Cause it's too much

Yeah, it's a lot

To be something I'm not

I'm a fool

Out of love

'Cause I just can't get enough

Graduation 2009

The auditorium was packed with the Engineering graduates. The university’s chancellor was finishing his address. Then one by one of the newly minted Bachelors of Engineering was called to the stage to receive their diploma. It was a long, long process, people were tired of waiting, but nobody was bored. Everyone was elated by the atmosphere, full of pride of their newly acquired degree and hope for the future. The families joined their children, brimmed with happiness.

After the ceremony, they congratulated each other whole-heartedly. Good friends took photos together, past crushes got their last stolen snaps, and ex-lovers were lost in nostalgia. It was a moving moment, when everybody knew that this was probably the last time some of them see each other, when every past sin was forgiven, for the sake of memories.

After mingling with his friends and family, Max looked around for somebody. Still in his toga, he started to run towards the hall he knew very well before a voice stopped him.

“Max!”

He turned around and saw the one he’s looking for was standing there, in simple blue sundress and earnest smile.

“Sybille…” he proceeded to walk closer to her. Before he could say anything, Sybille had started the conversation. “Congratulations on your graduation!” she tapped his shoulder.

He cracked a relieved smile. “Thanks…”

After that heartbreaking night, Sybille never talked or met him anymore. Then exams came, and they were busy on their own things. He didn’t contacted Sybille for fear of hurting her feelings. But the guilt had always haunted him. And today, at least before he left this university for good, he wanted to make peace with her.

But it seemed that she was already at peace with him.

“I know you would do well as management consultant.” Sybille continued.

“Thanks.” He smiled. “And I know you too with your studies.”

“Don’t expect too much.” She replied curtly, and they both laughed.

Max looked at her gently, smiling the earnest smile she ever saw. “I’m sure you will bloom into a bright, shining, beautiful flower. And you will be successful in every venture you made.”

“Naturally!” Sybille snapped snottily. “You will regret that you didn’t make me your girlfriend when you had the chance!”

He laughed.

“I’ll probably chase you then,” replied him with a wink.

Sybille threw him a look. “Please, do away with your charms. Stop breaking girls’ hearts!”

“I’m sorry, I promise I will control myself.” He said in sober tone.

They looked at each other with smiles painted on their faces. They have made peace with each other.

All these charming, charming men… always take innocent girls’ hearts into rollercoaster ride. A ride they probably enjoyed anyway, full of heart break as it was.

~end~