The Chase (31 page)
That had definitely factored into his decision.
He had also stepped back to distance himself from Kendall personally and professionally. He couldn’t force her to talk to him, he couldn’t take back the past and the outcome of that night with Sara, but he could ensure that Kendall wouldn’t lose her sponsorship with Untamed. He could take the fallout with the gossip mongers and with Carl and cut her free of an association with him.
He could give her the divorce she was clearly going to want.
But not yet. He couldn’t bring himself to do that quite yet.
Glancing down at his bare left hand, he regretted for the thousandth time taking that ring off. It had been stupid and petty to leave it on her stoop. But he had been devastated that she wouldn’t even open the door. It had seemed a good way to hurt her as much as he’d been hurt, but he now completely regretted it. That wasn’t what their relationship was about and he wasn’t nineteen anymore.
He wanted both the ring and her back.
The sounds of tires on the brush and gravel behind him made him sigh as he leaned against the hood of the car. He wanted to sit awhile longer, but if someone else was coming around, he was going to leave. He didn’t want to make small talk with a stranger.
Only it wasn’t a stranger who got out of the truck after parking it next to Evan’s. It was Ryder Jefferson.
“What are you doing here?” Evan asked him, put out that he was going to have to talk. He didn’t want to talk to anyone. He just wanted to sit and stare. For the next ten years or so.
“Thought maybe you’d want to go for a mani/pedi with me.”
“Very funny. How did you know I was out here?”
“Eve told me. Your sister is really worried about you.”
He might have been touched if he wasn’t totally numb. “I’m fine. I’ll be fine. And no, I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Alright.” Ryder leaned on the truck with him, staring out at the track like he was. “I’ll just do the talking. They say men are terrible communicators, but you know, some women don’t exactly do a fabulous job at expressing their emotions.”
Evan fought the urge to roll his eyes. He was starting to get irritated with Ryder. Couldn’t the guy see he just wanted to wallow in his own misery?
“I should know, I was married to a woman like that. And you see, I didn’t push her to talk to me, so she didn’t. And we wound up divorced. Is this sounding at all like something you’ve experienced?”
Evan wasn’t going to talk about it. He wasn’t. But then he couldn’t help himself. He needed someone to know, to acknowledge that damn it, he had wanted to work this through. “Except I’ve tried to force Kendall to talk about it. She won’t do it.”
“So you just give up? Or do you keep trying?”
“You want me to beat my head against a wall? Eventually my brains will just spill.” Evan bent down and picked up a rock. He tossed it up and down in the palm of his hand.
“Or maybe you’ll work things out. I wish I had tried harder to talk to Suzanne three years ago. I might not have lost two years. And the truth is, I’m damn lucky we wound up back together. The odds were stacked against us. Once you file for divorce, it’s hard to turn back.”
“Who said anything about filing for divorce?” Evan hurled the rock forward twenty feet, watching it hit and bounce across the track. “Do you know something I don’t know?”
“No. I’m just telling you I understand how much it hurts. And trust me, fixing it is worth whatever you have to go through to get there.”
“I’d fix it in a heartbeat if I could,” Evan told Ryder. “I just don’t know what to do.”
“Well, you either do nothing and sit here and feel sorry for yourself for a couple of years like I did. Or you can think of something to try.” Ryder pushed off of the truck and pulled his keys out of his pocket. “Just remember that sometimes a grand gesture is needed.”
“What, like flowers?”
Ryder frowned. “Are you serious? Flowers aren’t a grand gesture, flowers are for scoring a little weeknight sex, not repairing serious damage. Grand. Like billboard-sized.”
Evan hated the fact that he felt a little flicker of hope sparking to life. “So you and Suzanne are really happy now, huh?”
Ryder grinned. “So happy it’ll make you sick.”
Grand gesture. Huh.
Maybe, just maybe, that might work.
And if it didn’t, what was one more head butt into the wall?
CHAPTER
NINETEEN
NINETEEN
“YOU
can’t let Evan just quit driving.” Kendall stared across the desk at Carl. “He doesn’t deserve to be forced out.”
can’t let Evan just quit driving.” Kendall stared across the desk at Carl. “He doesn’t deserve to be forced out.”
The news, which had come to her through Eve, had made Kendall sick to her stomach. Nothing about what was going down between them or between Sara and Evan was anyone’s business in racing. This was his career, his life, and while Kendall still couldn’t bring herself to talk to him, she couldn’t stand the thought of him losing everything.
“No one forced him out.” Carl leaned back in his chair, his expression impassive, eyes slightly narrowed. “He came to me all on his own.”
That just didn’t make any sense. Carl had been gunning for Evan for months. He had to be the impetus behind Evan’s decision. “Why would he do that?”
“Why don’t you ask your husband that question?” Carl said.
Confused, Kendall felt her anger and indignation deflate. She had stormed into Carl’s office, determined to get Evan his spot back, and now she was hearing he didn’t want that spot?
“So you’re saying that Evan still has a car with Hinder Motors?”
“If he wants it, yes.” Carl shrugged. “Look, Kendall, I am not going to deny I’m pissed that you and Evan are out there creating drama. But you were right—personal lives are personal lives, and I’d hate to lose a damn fine driver just because he’s had sex with a woman he shouldn’t have. Hell, I’d lose my whole team if that were the case.”
No doubt that was true. Kendall wasn’t sure what to say, so she just nodded. “Exactly. Thanks, Carl. Glad we’re on the same page.”
“Sounds like you and me are, it’s just Evan that needs to be brought around.”
As she stood up, Kendall wondered how to do that, or if she were even the woman with the right to do it anyway.
“ARE
you okay to drive?” Jim asked her an hour before race time.
you okay to drive?” Jim asked her an hour before race time.
Kendall frowned at him. “Of course I’m fine, why wouldn’t I be?”
He held his hand up. “You just look like shit, that’s all. Like you haven’t slept in two weeks.”
That would be because she hadn’t. Not one freaking wink, it felt like. Spinning her helmet around in her hands, Kendall lifted up and down on the balls of her feet. “I’m fine.”
“If you’re not, don’t you dare get behind that wheel, ya hear me? I’m not having you jeopardizing your safety or someone else’s.”
“I said I’m fine,” she snapped. “Don’t question my judgment.”
Jim sighed. “I’m not. I’m just worried about you. Don’t you think you ought to at least talk to Evan?”
She did. But what was she supposed to say now that she’d retrieved his wedding ring off her concrete stoop? Now that she’d learned he had just walked away from racing without even consulting her on it?
Of course, she had given him no option to talk to her.
Damn it.
“Mind your own business.” Kendall moved towards her car to check on it. Then suddenly stopped when she glanced up and saw Evan on the jumbo screen, standing on the stage they used for introductions. “What the hell is he doing on the stage?” she asked out loud, to no one in particular.
“I just want to dedicate this to my wife, Kendall Holbrook Monroe, who is going to win the Chase in the not too distant future.”
“Oh, my God.” She couldn’t breathe. What was he doing?
“What is he doing?” Jim stood next to her and gawked up at the screen.
Her entire pit crew was craning their necks as well, all curious, all confused.
“What’s he gonna do?” Kenny, her jackman asked.
“I have no idea.” None whatsoever. Evan was impulsive, but what on earth was he going to say up there?
But then the first notes came out over the infield and she knew. He wasn’t going to talk. “Holy shit . . .” She didn’t know whether to be horrified or deeply touched.
It was Rod Stewart’s “Have I Told You Lately That I Love You?”
And Evan opened his mouth and started singing it.
“Holy shit is right,” Jim said. “That boy can’t sing.”
No, he couldn’t. Evan was off-key and warbling, but he was standing up there, mic in hand, belting his heart out. For her.
Good God.
“I’m so embarrassed right now,” Jim added.
“I think it’s highly romantic,” the jackman said. “I’m kinda wishing I was Kendall right now.”
“That’s the freakiest damn thing you’ve ever said.” Jim made a face. “Between Evan and you, I’m getting the willies all the way around.”
Their words were registering in her brain, but Kendall couldn’t respond to them. She could only stare up at the screen. At her husband. He was making a total fool out of himself. For her. Because she had told him that she had always wanted a man to serenade her, though in her fantasies it had been someone more along the lines of Keith Urban, or at the very least in tune.
But she had to admit this was even better.
Tears filled her eyes.
“You’re crying,” Jim said accusingly. “Fuck, fuck, fuck. We’re fucked. Why is he doing this now?”
“I’m not crying!” Kendall refused to lift her hand and wipe the tears that were now in fact rolling down her cheeks.
She wished Jim would go away. She just wanted to be alone, with Evan.
She wanted to look into his eyes and just see that he loved her.
When Evan finished the song, he said, “If that doesn’t prove I love my wife I just don’t know what does.”
The announcer, who had been standing slightly offstage, walked up next to Evan. “Whew, I’ll say. That was, uh, something else, Evan.” He smiled towards the crowd. “Wasn’t that something else, folks?”
There was a roar of approval up from the fans.
“So how about we get your wife on up here, just for a smile and a wave together?”
Instantly Kendall froze. She couldn’t do that. Just couldn’t do that.
“I’m sure she’s busy at the moment, but how about after the race? Now that I’m done embarrassing myself, I have a car to hop into.” Evan gave a bow and a wave, and the audience cheered loudly again.
Kendall stood there, not sure what she was feeling or thinking.
“You’d better go and talk to him after the race.”
She turned and saw Tuesday standing next to her, tears in her eyes as well. “Tuesday? What’s wrong? What are you doing here?”
Normally her friend was in the media room for the races, if she bothered to attend at all. Tuesday only made race day about once a month.
“Remember I told you I was coming to Virginia to visit my parents and take my dad to the race?”
“Oh, yeah, I’m sorry, I forgot. And I don’t know . . . I’m not sure I can go up there with Evan after the race. I’m so confused.”
“What you are is insecure,” Tuesday said vehemently, rounding on her. “And I just don’t see why. Do you realize how fucking lucky you are?”
Stunned, Kendall just stared at her, her cheeks going hot. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, look at you. You are so successful. You’re at the top of your field! Do you know how many women struggle to achieve success in their careers, and here you are, yet you never think you’re good enough. You have this guy who is so sweet and so amazing and so completely in love with you that he’s willing to make an ass out of himself, and you hesitate?”
With no idea where this was coming from, and stunned at the anger in Tuesday’s voice, Kendall just shook her head. “You don’t understand.”
“I do! I understand that you’re afraid. Well, big fucking whoop. Go ahead, be afraid, and spend your life alone. What a waste.”
Given that Tuesday’s voice hitched and she was now crying full force, Kendall knew this wasn’t just about her marriage. “Tuesday, what’s wrong?”
“My parents just told me my dad has cancer.”
“Oh, my God, I’m so sorry.” She reached out and wrapped her arms around her friend. “It will be okay, though. I know it’s scary but cancer is so beatable now.”
Tuesday stayed in the hug briefly, then pulled away, putting her arms across her chest. “Not in this case. It’s stage four. They’ve given him six months.”
“Sweetie, oh, I’m so sorry . . .” Kendall was horrified. She didn’t know what to say.
Jim came up to them. “Sorry to interrupt, but we need you, kiddo.”
“Go.” Tuesday waved her off. “I’ll be fine. But think about what I said. Life is too short, Kendall. It’s a total cliché, but damn, it’s the truth.”
Worried about her friend, Kendall told her, “I’ll be here after the race. Just let me know what you need.”
“You know what I need? Is for you to recognize what’s in front of you. Love. Happiness.”
Kendall didn’t know what to say. Cancer. God, what would she do if she got that news about her father? It suddenly made everything seem all so insignificant. What would she have done if something had happened to her father after she had stomped out on Easter?
So he hadn’t been a perfect father. Who was?
He did love her.
As did Evan.
With all his heart.
Suddenly, without warning or any real awareness of what she was doing, Kendall took off running.
“What the hell are you doing?” Jim asked, sounding freaked out and angry.
She just put her finger up to indicate one minute and ran like the wind, weaving around people towards the stage, her heart in her throat.
Tuesday was right. She was a complete and total fool. Was she really going to throw away the greatest love she’d ever known because she was insecure and afraid?
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