The Christmas Baby Bump (9 page)

She kissed him back, ragged and hard, her fingers digging into that glorious hair. If she was having a fling with Phil, she couldn’t allow emotions or any feelings beyond passion and excitement to get in the way.

Sunday, after making her breakfast in bed—Phil had
been
breakfast—he talked her into hitting the beach for a game of volleyball.

She couldn’t help but grin at the invitation. Surfing may be his turf, but volleyball was definitely hers. After a few warm-up shots, they
thwopped
the ball back and forth across the net. Her toes dug into the sand, the fresh sea breeze making her skin feel as vibrant and warm as Phil’s touch had the night before, as warm as the sun heating her scalp and shoulders. Phil popped a ball off his fingertips, and out of reflex she spiked it over the net, hitting him smack between the eyes. Shock quaked through her body as she rushed to him.

He rubbed his nose, looking dazed. “Great shot, Bennett!”

After she made sure he was okay, the surprised look on his face set her off laughing. She crumpled to her knees, overcome with the giggles.

He swooped her up into his arms and ran toward the water. Weak with laughter, she didn’t protest, until he ran knee-deep into a wave and tossed her into the chilly ocean. Her scream was cut short by salt water. Once she
regained her bearings, she chased Phil toward the beach and made a poor excuse for a tackle, only managing to grab his ankles and falling flat.

This carefree feeling felt as foreign as having that ocean, crashing and constant, in Palm Desert. She welcomed the new sensation, breathing deeper and feeling more vital than she had in years.

He broke away from her grasp and sat back on his ankles, grinning. His high-pitched laugh and corny smile egged her on. She crawled toward him and threw her arms around his neck then planted a wet and salty kiss on his mouth. Though clumsy at first, the kiss soon turned passionate, his hands wandering, holding her as if he never wanted to let go. With their lips smashing and tongues mingling, she thought how close to heaven it felt being here on the beach with Phil. How he managed to wipe away her worries with a single heart-stopping kiss.

As they rolled around, their kisses became invaded by sand, and soon her sexy moment turned to awareness that every crease and crevice of her body was sticky with beach grit. And after he’d made the same discovery, they lay side by side, flat on their backs, laughing together.

It seemed the playboy of Santa Barbara had resuscitated her life. Yeah, to use his own words, their fling
was
just what the doctor had ordered.

After he’d taken her to the hotel to shower and clean up, they went to lunch at the yacht club. During a long walk along the seashore, Phil invited her to his house again. The memory of being lost in his body, oblivious to her thoughts, lured her back to his bed.

Though anything but rehearsed, their lovemaking became more familiar. They’d explored each other’s
bodies with abandon, and she’d delighted in discovering his sensitive spots. She loved the texture of his skin, so many shades darker than her own. The ease with which he responded to her touch made her smile. She felt as though she could weave magic with him, especially when he was deep inside her, expertly guiding her to her final release.

Sex with Phil was nothing short of enchanting, and she hoped to stay under the spell for as long as she stayed in Santa Barbara.

Once completely sated, she flopped limply on top of him, and lifted her hair from her hot and sticky shoulders.

He blew lightly on her neck. “Stay with me tonight.”

Reality checked back in. “I can’t. I’ve got to be well rested for the conization tomorrow morning.”

“Come back tomorrow night, then,” he murmured, his hand playing with tendrils of her hair.

“I thought you were a love-’em-and leave-’em kind of guy?” Her true thought about his reputation had tumbled out before she could censure it.

In one quick move, he grabbed her and flopped her onto her back. Settling himself between her thighs, he gazed confidently into her face. “I’m just getting started with you.”

It wasn’t the most romantic thing she’d ever heard, yet, as he nibbled her earlobe, it thrilled her just the same. He hadn’t grown tired of her yet, and, heaven knew, she wasn’t even close to getting bored with him. Couldn’t imagine it. Yet she wasn’t as easily lured into his spell this time. Her mind wandered.

As life and her job wedged into her thoughts, she switched to the practical side of her life, and pragmatic
words followed. “How does it work with you? How do you know when it’s time to move on?”

The leftover fairy dust from their heated sex vanished.

He rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. “Where’d that come from?”

“I’m curious. That’s all.”

He rose up onto one elbow. “I’m not nearly as callous as my reputation.”

“I didn’t call you callous. All I did was ask how you know when a ‘fling’ is over.”

He took her hand and kissed her fingers, cleverly diverting her attention. “Let’s just say I’m nowhere near that with you.”

The perfect answer from a master. He was a playboy after all, and she couldn’t forget it.

Stephanie saw so much potential with Phil, yet he seemed a man of contradictions. Regardless of his stereotypical-playboy dating pattern, he lived in a house perfect for a family. He liked to dawdle in the kitchen, and garden! And when push came to shove about looking after his kid brother, he’d proved himself worthy. Phil was full of potential. Not that she was looking for anyone. No. Not that he’d ever consider her for more than a few nights of great sex.

She glanced at him, as if seeing for the first time the truth of their bond. They had nowhere to go but here, his bed. She was thankful for him forcing her out of her shell, but reality had a mean spirit and it had just smacked her in the face.

Phil took her hand and kissed her fingertips.

How long would she be able to overlook his playboy ways? Would it tear her heart out when he lost interest and moved on? Would he have the courtesy to wait until
she’d moved back to Palm Desert? He’d been evasive when she’d questioned him.

She glanced into his unwavering eyes. He smiled at her, but she couldn’t return it, wondering instead if anyone would ever be able to tame him. These were not the thoughts of a woman having a fling. She shouldn’t be concerned with them. Yet she was.

She fought off a wave of regret, refusing to let it blemish their fantastic weekend. Then with a sudden need to retreat back to her protective shell, to hide behind the medical profession, she kissed his forehead.

“I’ve got a big day tomorrow.” With nothing further to say, she slipped out from under the sheets, gathered her clothes strewn across the floor and bedroom love seat, and padded toward the bathroom.

“I’ll let myself out,” she said.

P
HIL
rubbed his temples and squinted. What in the hell had just happened? He and Stephanie had had great sex over the weekend, he’d enjoyed every minute he’d spent with her, then whammo! She’d slipped back into stranger mode.

He sat at the bedside and gulped down a glass of water. His head pounded behind his temples. Sex was supposed to release endorphins, and they were supposed to make a guy feel great. And they had…until she’d withdrawn.

He thought of Stephanie wrapped in his arms one minute and gone the next. He wasn’t sure what he wanted with her beyond what they already had—great fun, great sex, good times—but then what? She’d leave for the desert.

Buck naked, he paced the length of his bedroom. Give her a day to herself. Bring her lunch. Invite her for Chinese food after work another night. No pressure. He’d do what he did best—charm the hell out of a woman.

And though it would be hard, he’d keep his hands to himself, because he didn’t want to lose what little ground he’d gained with her.

The Christmas lights parade was on Saturday, and he
hoped she’d be there. If the magic of Christmas couldn’t break down the last of her barriers, nothing would.

He stopped in midpace and stared at his feet. Stephanie had given him the perfect opportunity to let another relationship slip away. Letting a woman loose had never bothered him. Over the years he’d learned new and creative ways to let his lady friends down gently. He’d buy them an expensive bracelet or necklace, tell them they deserved so much better than him. Yeah, he’d even stooped so low as to use his “busy career” as an excuse. And if he saw that special twinkle in the lady’s eyes, he’d announce that he never wanted to be a father, even though in reality his own father meant the world to him.

There were always other women out there. But this time around he wanted Stephanie. Hell, he liked her. A lot. He thought about her lilting laugh when they playfully wrestled on his bed. Up close and personal, those tiny freckles bridging her nose turned him on more than he cared to admit. And her skin. Damn, she felt like velvet under his gardener’s calluses. And she was a fantastic doctor. Everyone at the clinic had commented, now that she’d started mixing with them, on how well she fit in. Truth was, he liked the whole Stephanie Bennett package.

Complete silence echoed off the walls and drowned out his thoughts. He had to admit that at times like this he missed the thudding of Robbie’s pudgy feet, and he definitely missed Stephanie Bennett in his bed.

Was this foreign feeling loneliness?

Maybe it was time to get a dog. In the meantime, he’d see if a football game was on TV.

On Monday morning, Christmas music streamed through the office speakers, grabbing Stephanie’s
attention. Gaby had obviously been busy decorating over the weekend. Maybe the boat-decorating party had put her in the mood. She’d set up a miniature Christmas village behind the reception window, complete with mock snow and twinkling lights. Wreaths hung at each doctor’s door, and a banner wishing everyone a happy holiday was draped across the entryway to the waiting room.

The cheery atmosphere seemed contrary to what Stephanie had scheduled first thing that morning in the clinic. She got settled in her office and did a quick mental rundown of how the procedure would be carried out then noticed Maria standing expectantly in her doorway. She welcomed her in—having Maria as moral support was nice.

“I’m planning on doing a cold-knife conization. It may produce more bleeding than other procedures, but it doesn’t obscure the surgical margins as much as the two other techniques, which is very important.”

Stephanie drew a diagram for Maria. “While were there, I’m going to go ahead and perform a cerclage to minimize the bleeding and to protect from premature labor down the road.” She sketched as Maria looked on, outlining how she planned to remove the wedge of tissue then stitch the cervix together to keep it tight until delivery.

“Amy is having Celeste sign the consent in the procedure room. Are you ready?”

Maria nodded, her espresso-brown eyes wide and intelligent. She tottered beside her as Stephanie made her way to the special-procedure room. Even though it seemed impossible for Maria’s pregnant belly to look any bigger, it did, and Stephanie wondered how she could possibly hold out until her due date.

Stephanie greeted Celeste Conroy with a firm handshake as the patient reclined on the table with a paper shield across her lap and her feet in place in the stirrups. Amy had already set her up for the cervical cone biopsy.

“You remember Maria Avila, the nurse practitioner student?”

Celeste gave permission for Maria to observe, and Stephanie was glad of the extra pair of hands.

Amy had given Celeste a mild sedative on her arrival and Stephanie administered a local cervical block. As they waited for it to take effect, Celeste had more questions.

“The consent said a lot of scary things,” Celeste said. “Can they all happen?”

“The consents have to list every single possibility. Will they all happen? No. Will any of them happen? Not likely. Please don’t let it scare you. The main thing I want to make sure about is the bleeding. Pregnancy increases blood flow to the uterus and cervix, so it might get tricky, but I’ll be extra-careful.”

“What if we don’t get all of the cancer out with this procedure?”

“There is a very low risk that your lesion will progress during the course of your pregnancy. My job is to remove it all today, and I’m confident I can. Let’s take this one step at a time.”

Reluctantly, Celeste agreed, and as the sedative wove its spell, she plopped her head back on the exam table and stared off into the distance. Stephanie could only imagine the thoughts she must be having.

Once the wedge of tissue was excised and placed in a specimen container, Stephanie used electrocautery
to control the rapid local bleeding, then, as planned, performed the cervical cerclage.

“Maria, I’m going to assign you to Recovery. I want to watch Mrs. Conroy for the next four hours. Amy, will her husband be on hand to drive her home later?”

Amy nodded.

Stephanie ran down a long list of things Celeste needed to avoid for the next week, and wrote everything down. Knowing her patient had been sedated, she planned to go over everything again later when her husband was present and ready to take her home.

“Let me know if there’s any unusual bleeding,” Stephanie said to Maria on her way out.

“Will do.”

Stephanie went about the rest of her morning clinic, only occasionally allowing Phil to slip into her thoughts. She wasn’t looking for a husband or a future father. She’d gone that route and failed miserably, and had ensured she’d never be a mother again. All she wanted to do was put the pieces of her life back together, and maybe, while she was here, have a little fun. So if he was only a guy to have fun with, why was she thinking about him so much? Maybe it was because he’d turned out to be so great with Robbie. She’d seen him go from clueless to expert in less than two weeks. The guy had father potential written all over him. In a twisted sort of way, after she left, she hoped he’d find a woman who could give him a family one day.

“Dr. Bennett?” Amy interrupted her confusing thoughts. “Maria sent me to tell you that Mrs. Conroy has soaked through several pads already.”

Alarm had Stephanie picking up her phone and dialing Jason Rogers’s office. He met her at the patient’s gurney, as she finished her examination.

“I need to cauterize more extensively, and then I’d like to admit the patient for overnight observation,” she said.

“I’ll call the hospital and tell them we’re sending her,” Jason said.

“I don’t have privileges there, so I’ll need you to admit her.”

“No problem,” he said. “Whatever you need.”

Having such support and backup from her boss meant the world to her. And after the second round of cauterizing the wedge margins, the cervical bleeding already showed signs of slowing. Still, she couldn’t be too careful with her patient, and, more importantly, with the pregnancy.

The transporters arrived, and Maria volunteered to ride over with Celeste so Stephanie could finish her clinic appointments. She’d head over to the hospital as soon as she was finished.

By the end of the day, Stephanie hadn’t seen even a glimpse of Phil, and she figured if he was avoiding her she deserved it for pulling back and leaving without a proper goodbye. What did he expect? They really were nothing more than bed partners so she had no obligation to him. Then why did him avoiding her bother her so much? She bit her lip and sighed.

Because she cared about him.

“Is Dr. Bennett in?” Phil asked Gaby on his way into the clinic on Tuesday morning.

“She’s at the hospital, discharging one of her patients.”

He’d decided to ask her to lunch today, and was eager to see her again. When he got to his office and
booted up his computer, a calendar alert popped up at the moment Jon strode through his door.

“You ready?” Jon asked.

Damn, he’d forgotten the symposium in Ventura he and Jon had signed up for months ago to attend together today.

So much for lunch with Stephanie.

On Wednesday, Phil got called into the E.R. for an emergency thoracentesis in the morning, and by the time he’d caught up with his patient load that evening, Stephanie had already left for the day.

He could give her a call and ask her out for dinner, but he knew how easy it was to blow someone off over the phone, so he decided to wait until Thursday morning when he could see her face-to-face.

On Thursday, when there was no sign of Stephanie at the clinic, Phil discovered through Jason that she’d been invited to the local university to speak to Maria’s fellow nurse-practitioner students.

Things weren’t looking good, and, though contrary to his natural desire to see her as soon as possible, he decided to wait until Saturday evening at the postholidayparade party at Jason’s house. He’d missed her all week, and wanted to iron out that wrinkle in their relationship, the unspoken knowledge about his dating history. He understood how it must look to a woman like Stephanie. He couldn’t make any guarantees, of course, but she seemed worth delving deeper into—dared he use the word?—a relationship. He scraped his jaw. It wasn’t just any girl he’d ask to help with the task he had planned.

This is nuts, Stephanie thought as she drove back to her hotel from the university. Maybe the move to Santa Barbara and starting to practice medicine again had
been more stressful than she’d expected. Each night this week she’d been dead tired, and the springboard of emotions that getting to know Phil had created couldn’t be denied. Maybe she was premenstrual? She rubbed her forehead and mentally did some math. It was December 9 and she was supposed to have started her period on December 2. She’d been like clockwork ever since she’d had her tubes tied. Today she felt a little foggy headed and maybe a little tender in her breasts. She’d probably get her period any day now.

But she was a week late, and hadn’t so much as spotted.

She shook her head as she pulled into her parking space at the hotel. It had to be stress.

California had a reputation for perfect weather, and on this Saturday in mid-December, while the rest of the country dealt with snowstorms and arctic cold snaps, the sky was clear and the temperature was in the high sixties. Rain was predicted for early tomorrow morning, but you couldn’t prove it by the sky overhead.

Stephanie shaded her eyes with her palm and enjoyed the sight of the setting sun over the glistening blue ocean, then took a deep breath of salty air as she walked down the docks to Jason’s berth.

An hour earlier she’d come off the phone from a conversation with Celeste Conroy, who continued to improve since the bleeding scare earlier in the week. The best part of all was being able to tell her they’d successfully removed the small cancerous area on her cervix, and the tissue margins were all clear. If all continued to go well, the cerclage would keep her from going into premature labor later on.

Stephanie decided to compartmentalize her profes
sional and personal life. With her duties as a physician completed today, she removed the mental stethoscope and…oh, hell…prepared to be Santa’s helper. Nerves tangled in her stomach at the thought of confronting Phil after walking out on him the other night.

A memo had gone out at work, “Wear your most outrageous Christmas sweater,” and she’d made a quick run to the Paseo to find something to fit the theme, but was too embarrassed to put it on until she got there.

Jason’s yacht was decked out with the Midcoast Medical employees’ handy Christmas decorations, and from this vantage point the boat promised, when lit up later, to thrill the spectators.

She smiled, even as her stomach fought off another wave of nervous flitters. She hadn’t seen Phil all week except for fleeting moments coming and going at the clinic. She’d avoided his gaze once, and another time he made an abrupt turn and entered Jon’s office. She’d failed miserably as fling material.

Claire waved and greeted her from the deck. An adorable curly-headed child with huge blue eyes stood by her side, and another baby, getting pushed back and forth in a stroller, sat plump and contentedly swaddled in extra blankets.

“This is my daughter, Gina,” Claire said, then nodded toward the stroller. “And this is Jason Junior.”

Looking more petulant than shy, Gina hugged her mother’s thigh and buried her face rather than say hello. Claire smoothed the girl’s hair with her free hand.

Stephanie gave herself a quick pep talk about not letting the children make her nervous. They were Claire’s children, not hers, and from the look of it, Claire handled the job with aplomb. It was Christmas, a child’s favorite time of year, and there was no way Stephanie could
avoid missing her son, but just for today she vowed to not let it get her down. Just for today she’d let Christmas joy rub off on her and she’d smile along with everyone else on this festive occasion. Then, on Christmas Day, she would withdraw into her shell with her constant companion of grief.