The Click Trilogy (33 page)
Authors: Lisa Becker
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Making Up
I’ve been missing you too. I hope to be home at a decent time tonight. Love you, Babe!
From: Renee Greene – August 19, 2012 – 9:52 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Thanks!
Thanks for the advice yesterday. As much as I didn’t want to hear it, you were a little bit right. We talked and I’ve gotten it through my thick skull this is temporary, not what he wants to do in the present, but what he has to do for our future.
From: Shelley Manning – August 20, 2012 – 8:43 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Thanks!
A little bit right? Sweetie, that’s like saying I’m a little bit hot.
From: Renee Greene – August 20, 2012 – 8:51 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Thanks!
Love you, Shel!
From: Renee Greene – August 22, 2012 – 9:25 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Should I be worried?
Are you feeling okay? You don’t have a terminal illness that I, as you very best friend, should be aware of, do you?
From: Shelley Manning – August 22, 2012 – 9:27 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Should I be worried?
No, I’m not dying. Why do you ask?
From: Renee Greene – August 22, 2012 – 9:34 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Should I be worried?
You just don’t seem like yourself. That really good looking guy at Flint’s happy hour was
totally
into you and you…well…you didn’t even really give him a second look. That’s so out of character for you that I’m just wondering if you are okay.
From: Shelley Manning – August 22, 2012 – 9:37 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Should I be worried?
Goodness, girl! I can’t take a night off of being aroused without arousing suspicion?
From: Renee Greene – August 22, 2012 – 9:42 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Should I be worried?
Ha! That was funny!
But seriously, you just haven’t seemed your “normal,” make-me-“Greene”-with-envy self for quite a while now and I wanted to make sure you were okay.
From: Shelley Manning – August 22, 2012 – 9:47 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Should I be worried?
I’m fine, Sweetie. And if you haven’t noticed, you don’t need to be – as you’ve joked about it – “Greene” with envy. You’ve got a great guy.
From: Renee Greene – August 22, 2012 – 9:48 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Should I be worried?
Are you bothered that you don’t have a great guy?
From: Shelley Manning – August 22, 2012 – 9:54 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Should I be worried?
My, oh my. These emails are becoming so serious. I just didn’t feel like hooking up last night. Don’t make it into something bigger than it is.
From: Renee Greene – August 22, 2012 – 9:59 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Should I be worried?
Okay, okay. But really, we are getting older. Maybe you are thinking that you want to find that someone special. Maybe you’ve already found that someone special and it scares you?
From: Shelley Manning – August 22, 2012 – 10:04 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Should I be worried?
Oh, Sweetie. The beauty of life (and me, for that matter), is that it doesn’t matter how old you are. You can still be as immature as you want to be.
From: Renee Greene – August 22, 2012 – 10:05 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Should I be worried?
Come on! I’m being serious!
From: Shelley Manning – August 22, 2012 – 10:07 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Should I be worried?
Renee Michele Greene! If this is another veiled attempt to get me to admit (not that I’m admitting anything!) that I have feeling for Finlay, well, I’m going to scream. But this is email. So I will just have to type in ALL CAPS. Again, I DO NOT LIKE FINLAY!
From: Renee Greene – August 22, 2012 – 10:09 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Should I be worried?
I hear (read) you. I hear (read) you. I will drop the subject. Just glad to know you aren’t dying.
From: Shelley Manning – August 22, 2012 – 10:10 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Should I be worried?
Just dying to stop having this conversation.
From: Renee Greene – August 22, 2012 – 10:12 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Should I be worried?
Message received! But thanks for bringing some levity back to things. I’d better get back to work. Talk with you later.
From: cassidy – August 28, 2012 – 12:04 PM
To:
Subject: Fwd: Cat-Man-Do
LOL!!!!
h’s & k’s,
cassidy
From: Renee Greene – August 30, 2012 – 11:58 AM
To: Shelley Manning, Ashley Gordon
Subject: DA-AM girl!
Ashley, you will totally appreciate this story. Shelley, you will too, but for a different reason.
Ashley, remember my younger cousin Nate, who was a really cute kid that used to have a big crush on you growing up? He’s now 22 and just returned back from LA after college in Virginia. I saw him this morning and he asked about you. I told him you were married with a baby on the way and he looked a wee bit crushed. I think he’s still harboring a little thing for you. Oh, and did I mention (this is the part Shelley will like) he’s smokin’ hot?
He stopped by the office to pick up some tickets for a football game that I offered to him. After he left, this is the conversation that transpired between me and our receptionist:
Receptionist: DA-AM girl! Who was that? He’s fiiiiine.
Me: Oh, him (pointing out the door). He’s my secret boyfriend.
Receptionist: Really? (Tone here is inquisitive and playful, like she’s impressed that not only would I have a guy on the sly, but he’d be “fiiiiine.”)
Me: No. Not really. He’s my cousin.
Receptionist: Really? (Tone
here
is completely incredulous, like she doesn’t believe me.)
Me: Really.
Receptionist:
He’s
your cousin? You and he are related?
Me: Yes.
Receptionist: He and you?
Me: Yes. I know. He’s really good looking and we come from the same gene pool.
So, apparently it was more plausible that I would be secretly
dating
a good looking guy than be
related
to one. Not sure if I should take this as a compliment or an insult. Thoughts?
From: Ashley Gordon – August 30, 2012 – 2:24 PM
To: Renee Greene
Cc: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: DA-AM girl!
Honestly, it’s hard to believe these things really happen to you.
So little Nate has a crush on me. I’m sure if he saw me now – complete with enormous and continuing to expand belly, varicose veins and stretch marks – he would go screaming for the hills. Although he might like the huge breasts I’ve sprouted. No, that’s definitely not enough to offset the regularly-scheduled vomiting and nausea.
From: Shelley Manning – August 30, 2012 – 3:12 PM
To: Ashley Gordon
Cc: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: DA-AM girl!
Ashley: Don’t get used to hearing things like this from me, but stop the whining! (Okay, that you should get used to, but not this next part.) You are the quintessential, beautiful, glowing pregnant woman.
Renee: I would just think of it this way. On a hotness scale of 1 to 10, you’re a solid 10 and he’s an 11.
From: Ashley Gordon – August 30, 2012 – 3:22 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Cc: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: DA-AM girl!
I think I just may faint. Not only from hearing those words from you, Shelley, but that seems to be another annoying symptom of this pregnancy. UGH! Thanks, though.
From: Renee Greene – August 30, 2012 – 3:54 PM
To: Ashley Gordon
Cc: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: DA-AM girl!
I like the way you think, Shel. And seriously, flattery will get you everywhere, my friend. As you once said to me: Even the waiter that calls me “Miss” gets a much better tip than the one who calls me “Ma’am.”
From: Shelley Manning – August 30, 2012 – 4:12 PM
To: Renee Greene
Cc: Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: DA-AM girl!
You usually do like what I say. But you are so easy. You know, like me…but different.
From: Renee Greene – August 30, 2012 – 4:13 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Cc: Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: DA-AM girl!
HA! Right you are, Miss!
From: Renee Greene – September 3, 2012 – 9:04 AM
To: Shelley Manning, Ashley Gordon
Subject: The Lion’s Den?
I can’t believe the day is almost here. I must say, I’m a bit nervous. Meeting Ethan’s sisters – all four of them – for the first time?!? I mean, meeting his parents when they were in town over the summer was one thing. They were super nice and mellow. And I was on my own turf. But this is like going into the lion’s (or lioness’) den. From what Ethan has told me, his four older sisters are very opinionated, very passionate, very outspoken and, most of all, very protective of him.
From: Shelley Manning – September 3, 2012 – 9:15 AM
To: Renee Greene
Cc: Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: The Lion’s Den?
Sweetie, if anyone can charm the pants off of these Midwest mavens, it’s you. Put on your sweetest smile, ooze your easy-nature charm and charisma and, most importantly, bring gifts.
From: Ashley Gordon – September 3, 2012 – 10:01 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Cc: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: The Lion’s Den?
I have to agree with Shelley on this one. Gifts are key.
From: Renee Greene – September 3, 2012 – 10:02 AM
To: Ashley Gordon
Cc: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: The Lion’s Den?
Oh, so you don’t think my sweet smile and tons of charm can do the trick on their own?
From: Ashley Gordon – September 3, 2012 – 10:04 AM
To: Renee Greene
Cc: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: The Lion’s Den?
Consider the gifts the icing on your sweet and charming cake!
From: Shelley Manning – September 3, 2012 – 10:07AM
To: Ashley Gordon
Cc: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: The Lion’s Den?
Always works on me. And I’m one tough cookie.
From: Ashley Gordon – September 3, 2012 – 10:09 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Cc: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: The Lion’s Den?
Didn’t work when you met Cassidy for the first time and she brought flowers for us all.
From: Shelley Manning – September 3, 2012 – 10:12 AM
To: Ashley Gordon
Cc: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: The Lion’s Den?
She’s a lost cause. And as mentioned, I’m tough. But I’m sure his sisters can be easily bribed.
From: Renee Greene – September 3, 2012 – 10:15 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Cc: Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: The Lion’s Den?
Okay. Will go shopping today. Thanks ladies.
From: Ashley Gordon – September 3, 2012 – 10:18 AM
To: Renee Greene
Cc: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: The Lion’s Den?
Good luck in Ohio, Renee. Hope you knock ‘em dead.
From: Shelley Manning – September 3, 2012 – 10:21 AM
To: Ashley Gordon
Cc: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: The Lion’s Den?
Good advice, Ashley. If all else fails and they don’t like you, Sweetie, you can always knock them dead.
From: Renee Greene – September 3, 2012 – 10:23 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Cc: Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: The Lion’s Den?
Ah, yes. Murder does seem like an appropriate response if they don’t like me. Will be sure to pack my machete, club and brass knuckles. HA!
From: Ashley Gordon – September 3, 2012 – 10:26 AM
To: Renee Greene
Cc: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: The Lion’s Den?
I know I haven’t flown in a while, being grounded with Baby Gordon in utero. But I’m pretty sure that a machete is not an acceptable carry-on item.
From: Renee Greene – September 3, 2012 – 10:28 AM
To: Ashley Gordon
Cc: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: The Lion’s Den?
Damn terrorists ruining it for the rest of us. I’ll have to pack it in my bag. Thanks for the reminder.
From: Shelley Manning – September 3, 2012 – 10:30 AM
To: Renee Greene
Cc: Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: The Lion’s Den?
HA-larious. Safe travels and let me know how it goes.
From: Renee Greene – September 5, 2012 – 10:18 PM
To: Shelley Manning, Ashley Gordon
Subject: All in the Family
I received a wonderfully warm reception from Ethan’s family today. But honestly, with all of the estrogen in that household, it’s a wonder Ethan turned out to be as manly as he did. I’m pretty exhausted between the air travel, time difference, etc. So, I’m going to bed…in a separate room from Ethan.
His parents are quite old fashioned and didn’t think it would be appropriate for us to share a room since we aren’t married. Never mind the fact we live together. His mom must think in a two bedroom apartment, we each have our own room. HA! Good night, my friends. Talk soon!
From: Ashley Gordon – September 5, 2012 – 11:22 PM
To: Renee Greene
Cc: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: All in the Family
Super curious about his sisters. Details, please. And don’t skimp. I’ve got nothing to keep me going and nothing to do on bed rest except watch game shows,
Law & Order
reruns, and soap operas.
From: Shelley Manning – September 6, 2012 – 8:22 AM
To: Ashley Gordon
Cc: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: All in the Family
Ditto! Not on the “nothing to keep me going” part, but the curious part.
From: Renee Greene – September 6, 2012 – 10:04 AM
To: Ashley Gordon, Shelley Manning
Subject: Lil’ PITA
Sorry. Didn’t mean to skimp on the details. Was just exhausted from the first family meeting. Ethan’s sisters are super nice, albeit very different from one another and a bit nutty. Here’s the rundown:
- Oldest sister, Robin – She’s the alpha-gal of the bunch and very protective of her baby brother, who is 15 years her junior. She’s almost like a second mom to him. In fact, her kids are not that much younger than Ethan. She got married right out of high school and started a family young. Her husband was her high school sweetheart and he owns a chain of car dealerships across Ohio. They have a TON of money, according to Samantha (I’ll get to her, so just bear with me). Her kids are 20 and 22 – both in college and – again, according to Samantha – spoiled rotten.
- Next oldest, Dana – She is TOTALLY organized. In fact, she already has her holiday cards done for the year…and it’s only September. They are constantly giving her crap about stuff like that, joking that she writes thank you notes before even receiving gifts, etc. Too bad Mark is taken. They could be a match made in heaven. ;) She’s so anal, according to Samantha, no man will put up with her.
- Next oldest, Samantha – The above will make sense now…she is a total gossip. She talks to everyone about everyone. You can tell she’s a total trouble maker and likes to stir the pot. However, she does it in a totally hilarious way. She can really tell a story and she’s a great resource for info and how I found out most of the stuff about the other sisters. I just need to remember to keep my nose clean around her. Her knowing something is the equivalent of posting it on your Facebook wall. Oddly enough, the others seem to make fun of her for never having matching socks. Who knew?
- Next oldest (and the youngest of the four girls, but still older than Ethan) Belinda – She is your typical mom. She’s married with three little children – a two-year old boy and twin infant girls. Her husband seems to work…a lot. And with three kids all under the age of three, wouldn’t you, too? She’s frazzled and tired but super sweet.
They bicker. They fight. They pick on each other. They push each other’s buttons. They mock each other and point out each other’s flaws. Heck! They’re sisters. But you can tell they all love each other a ton. It’s easy to see how Ethan turned out to be the man he is coming from a family like this.
I learned a lot about dear Ethan from them. For example…
- He used to say, “I told you so,” so often that they started a “swear jar” type system where he had to put a quarter in each time he did it to try and break him of the habit. I guess it didn’t work all that well, huh?
- He wet his bed until he was nine years old. Nine!!!!
- And the BEST…they call him “Lil’ PITA” which stands for Pain In The Ass. He’s the Cuddler no more! Long live Lil’ PITA!
His mom continues to be a doll and couldn’t have been nicer to me. I can see why Ethan loves and respects his dad so much. He is lovely. All in all, good people.
Totally forgot to tell you…I’m going to meet Ethan’s high school sweetheart tonight. Apparently his mom HATED her during high school when they were going out because she wasn’t Jewish. She would do horrible things to try and break them up. JEEZ! I sure hope she continues to likes
me
! Definitely don’t want to get on her bad side.
Once they broke up, she and Eugenia (Yes! Her name is Eugenia!) became best of friends. She’s coming to the big family dinner/meet Renee shindig tonight at their house. I’ll keep you posted.
Okay. Gotta run. More relatives are here to meet me. I feel like I’m on display. Miss you tons!
From: Ashley Gordon – September 6, 2012 – 12:22 PM
To: Renee Greene
Cc: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Lil’ PITA
Wow! Sounds like one interesting family. But I’m not surprised they love you and I’m sure you’ll be your sweet-natured self to the ex.
Regarding Lil’ PITA…can I adopt that nickname for Greg, too? He’s driving me insane.
From: Shelley Manning – September 6, 2012 – 2:13 PM
To: Ashley Gordon
Cc: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Lil’ PITA
Lil’ PITA? Perfection!
Eugenia? OY! (That’s how the Jewish mother probably thought about it.) Who the hell in this day and age names their daughter Eugenia? She’s got to be a real looker, huh?
And how could Ethan’s mom, sisters, dad, et al, not LOVE you like the rest of us do?
From: Renee Greene – September 6, 2012 – 4:13 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Lil’ PITA
Regarding her name…Yeah! I asked Ethan about that. He said that it was a family name: Eugenia Fowler and she comes from old money. Everyone called her Genie except for her parents and him. For some reason it was a little inside joke between them. He showed me a picture from senior prom and she was pretty cute, with a blond version of the “Rachel” haircut from
Friends
and a tight, short little dress a la
The Spice Girls
.
Hopefully now she’s like two of Ethan’s sisters – married and sporting mom jeans. I’ll keep you posted.
From: Shelley Manning – September 6, 2012 – 4:22 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Lil’ PITA
Mom jeans? Yikes! How could you leave out that detail in your earlier descriptions?!? Sounds scary!
From: Renee Greene – September 6, 2012 – 4:25 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Lil’ PITA
I know. We’ll see how the ex-girlfriend pans out. Right now, I’m feeling pretty hot, relatively speaking.
From: Shelley Manning – September 6, 2012 – 4:27 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Lil’ PITA
Good luck at the big “meet & greet,” but I am sure the hot “Supermodel Renee” doesn’t need luck!
From: Renee Greene – September 6, 2012 – 11:18 PM
