The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (1033 page)

merrily, and go away sadly: the reason of this?

I think all moneylenders have fools as servants; my

mistress is one, and I am her fool.  When men come

to borrow from your masters, they come sad and

leave merry; but they come to my mistress's house merry

and go away sad.  Why is this?

Varro's Servant

I could render one.

I can think of a reason.

APEMANTUS

Do it then, that we may account thee a whoremaster

and a knave; which not-withstanding, thou shalt be

no less esteemed.

Tell us then, so we can say you are a pimp and a knave;

we won't think any less of you for it.

Varro's Servant

What is a whoremaster, fool?

What's a pimp, fool?

Fool

A fool in good clothes, and something like thee.

'Tis a spirit: sometime't appears like a lord;

sometime like a lawyer; sometime like a philosopher,

with two stones moe than's artificial one: he is

very often like a knight; and, generally, in all

shapes that man goes up and down in from fourscore

to thirteen, this spirit walks in.

A fool in a nice suit, a bit like you.

He's a ghost; sometimes he looks like a lord;

sometimes a lawyer; sometimes a philosopher,

with two stones more than his scientific one: he's

very often like a knight; and, overall, he takes on

all the shapes men assume between thirteen

and eighty.

Varro's Servant

Thou art not altogether a fool.

You're not a complete fool.

Fool

Nor thou altogether a wise man: as much foolery as

I have, so much wit thou lackest.

Nor are you  a completely wise man: for all the foolery I have,

you're missing the same amount of wit.

APEMANTUS

That answer might have become Apemantus.

That answer could have come from me.

All Servants

Aside, aside; here comes Lord Timon.

Stand aside; here comes Lord Timon.

Re-enter TIMON and FLAVIUS

APEMANTUS

Come with me, fool, come.

Come with me, fool, come.

Fool

I do not always follow lover, elder brother and

woman; sometime the philosopher.

I don't always follow a lover, elder brother or

woman; sometimes I follow a philosopher.

Exeunt APEMANTUS and Fool

FLAVIUS

Pray you, walk near: I'll speak with you anon.

Please, stay nearby:  I'll speak to you shortly.

Exeunt Servants

TIMON

You make me marvel: wherefore ere this time

Had you not fully laid my state before me,

That I might so have rated my expense,

As I had leave of means?

You astonish me: why didn't you explain

the state of my affairs earlier,

so I could have suited my expenditure

to my means?

FLAVIUS

You would not hear me,

At many leisures I proposed.

You wouldn't listen,

I suggested it many times.

TIMON

Go to:

Perchance some single vantages you took.

When my indisposition put you back:

And that unaptness made your minister,

Thus to excuse yourself.

Come on:

maybe you tried occasionally,

when I didn't have time to listen,

and you made my unavailability

your excuse not to try again.

FLAVIUS

O my good lord,

At many times I brought in my accounts,

Laid them before you; you would throw them off,

And say, you found them in mine honesty.

When, for some trifling present, you have bid me

Return so much, I have shook my head and wept;

Yea, 'gainst the authority of manners, pray'd you

To hold your hand more close: I did endure

Not seldom, nor no slight cheques, when I have

Prompted you in the ebb of your estate

And your great flow of debts. My loved lord,

Though you hear now, too late--yet now's a time--

The greatest of your having lacks a half

To pay your present debts.

Oh my good lord,

many times I brought in my accounts,

and put them in front of you; you would push them away,

and say you trusted my honesty.

When you have told me to give so much in return

for some little present I have shaken my head and wept;

in contradiction to the laws of manners I begged you

to be less extravagant; I had to put up with

frequent harsh rebukes, when I

told you how your estate was running out of money,

and how much debt you were piling up.  My beloved lord,

though you're listening now it's too late - but I must still tell you -

everything you've got won't pay half

of the debts you have.

TIMON

Let all my land be sold.

Let all my land be sold.

FLAVIUS

'Tis all engaged, some forfeited and gone;

And what remains will hardly stop the mouth

Of present dues: the future comes apace:

What shall defend the interim? and at length

How goes our reckoning?

It's all mortgaged, some of it forfeited and gone for good;

and what there is left will hardly cover the debts

due now; the future's rushing on us:

how shall we live for now?  And what's our

long term plan?

TIMON

To Lacedaemon did my land extend.

My lands stretched as far as Lacedaemon.

FLAVIUS

O my good lord, the world is but a word:

Were it all yours to give it in a breath,

How quickly were it gone!

Oh my good lord, the world is just a word:

if it was all yours to give away in one breath,

how quickly it would be gone.

TIMON

You tell me true.

You're right.

FLAVIUS

If you suspect my husbandry or falsehood,

Call me before the exactest auditors

And set me on the proof. So the gods bless me,

When all our offices have been oppress'd

With riotous feeders, when our vaults have wept

With drunken spilth of wine, when every room

Hath blazed with lights and bray'd with minstrelsy,

I have retired me to a wasteful cock,

And set mine eyes at flow.

If you suspect me of bad accounting or fraud,

call in the strictest auditors

and ask me to prove myself.  I swear by the gods,

that when all we servants have been overwhelmed

with rowdy feasters, when our cellars have been swamped

with drunkenly spilled wine, when every room

has blazed with lights and been packed with musicians,

I have gone down to the swimming cellars,

and added my tears to the flow of wine.

TIMON

Prithee, no more.

Please, no more.

FLAVIUS

Heavens, have I said, the bounty of this lord!

How many prodigal bits have slaves and peasants

This night englutted! Who is not Timon's?

What heart, head, sword, force, means, but is

Lord Timon's?

Great Timon, noble, worthy, royal Timon!

Ah, when the means are gone that buy this praise,

The breath is gone whereof this praise is made:

Feast-won, fast-lost; one cloud of winter showers,

These flies are couch'd.

Heavens, I've said to myself, the generosity of this lord!

how much extravagant food slaves and peasants have

gobbled tonight!  Who doesn't love Timon?

What heart, head, strength, money, isn't devoted to

Lord Timon?

Great Timon, noble, worthy, royal Timon!

Ah, when the money to buy this praise is gone,

the breath that formed this praise is gone too:

won with feasting, lost with hunger; if there's one cloud

bringing winter showers, these flies leave.

TIMON

Come, sermon me no further:

No villanous bounty yet hath pass'd my heart;

Unwisely, not ignobly, have I given.

Why dost thou weep? Canst thou the conscience lack,

To think I shall lack friends? Secure thy heart;

If I would broach the vessels of my love,

And try the argument of hearts by borrowing,

Men and men's fortunes could I frankly use

As I can bid thee speak.

Come, stop lecturing me:

I've never done anything that supported evil;

I've given unwisely, not dishonourably.

Why are you weeping?  Do you really believe

that I will lack friends?  Don't worry;

if I was to open up these people's hearts,

and put all their promises to the test,

I could get them to serve me,

as easily as I can ask you to speak.

FLAVIUS

Assurance bless your thoughts!

I hope this will prove true!

TIMON

And, in some sort, these wants of mine are crown'd,

That I account them blessings; for by these

Shall I try friends: you shall perceive how you

Mistake my fortunes; I am wealthy in my friends.

Within there! Flaminius! Servilius!

And  in some ways these problems are a good thing,

I'll call them a blessing; this is the way I

shall see who my friends are: you shall see that you're wrong

to think I am poor; I am rich in friends.

Hello there!  Flaminius!  Servillus!

Enter FLAMINIUS, SERVILIUS, and other Servants

Servants

My lord? my lord?

My lord?  My lord?

TIMON

I will dispatch you severally; you to Lord Lucius;

to Lord Lucullus you: I hunted with his honour

to-day: you, to Sempronius: commend me to their

loves, and, I am proud, say, that my occasions have

found time to use 'em toward a supply of money: let

the request be fifty talents.

I'll send you off to different places; you go to Lord Luciius;

you to Lord Lucullus: I hunted with his honour

today: you go to Sempronius: give them my compliments

and say, I am proud, that I have found myself

in need of some cash-flow: ask them

for fifty talents.

FLAMINIUS

As you have said, my lord.