The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (350 page)

of your nightly stops to give it to you herself.

I promised to do it, persuaded to by the sweet looks and speech

of the poor petitioner, whom I know

is on her way here: she looks as though

her business is important; and she told me,

in a sweet summary, that it was to do

with you and her.

KING

[Reads] Upon his many protestations to marry me

when his wife was dead, I blush to say it, he won

me. Now is the Count Rousillon a widower: his vows

are forfeited to me, and my honour's paid to him. He

stole from Florence, taking no leave, and I follow

him to his country for justice: grant it me, O

king! in you it best lies; otherwise a seducer

flourishes, and a poor maid is undone.

DIANA CAPILET.

I'm ashamed to say that I was won over

by his many promises to marry me when his wife was dead.

Now Count Rousillon is a widower: he has taken my honour

and he owes me his promise. He sneaked away

from Florence without saying goodbye and I have followed him

to his own country for justice: please grant it to me, O king!

You have the power; otherwise a seducer flourishes,

and a poor girl is ruined.

Diana Capilet

LAFEU

I will buy me a son-in-law in a fair, and toll for

this: I'll none of him.

I'll buy myself a son-in-law at a fair, and pay the tax

on him; I won't have anything to do with Bertram.

KING

The heavens have thought well on thee Lafeu,

To bring forth this discovery. Seek these suitors:

Go speedily and bring again the count.

I am afeard the life of Helen, lady,

Was foully snatch'd.

God has smiled on you Lafeu,

bringing this to the surface. Get these petitioners:

hurry and bring the count back.

I'm afraid, lady, that Helen

was foully murdered.

COUNTESS

Now, justice on the doers!

Re-enter BERTRAM, guarded

Now bring the murderers to justice!

KING

I wonder, sir, sith wives are monsters to you,

And that you fly them as you swear them lordship,

Yet you desire to marry.

Enter Widow and DIANA

What woman's that?

I wonder, sir, why you want to marry, seeing as

wives are like monsters to you,

and you run away as soon as you are engaged.

Who's that woman?

DIANA

I am, my lord, a wretched Florentine,

Derived from the ancient Capilet:

My suit, as I do understand, you know,

And therefore know how far I may be pitied.

I am, my lord, a wretched Florentine,

descended from the ancient Capilet family:

I understand that you know what I'm asking for,

and so you know how much I should be pitied.

Widow

I am her mother, sir, whose age and honour

Both suffer under this complaint we bring,

And both shall cease, without your remedy.

I am her mother, sir, whose old age and honour

are both suffering due to this issue,

and I will lose both without your help.

KING

Come hither, count; do you know these women?

Come here, count; do you know these women?

BERTRAM

My lord, I neither can nor will deny

But that I know them: do they charge me further?

My lord, I cannot and will not deny

knowing them: do they accuse me of anything else?

DIANA

Why do you look so strange upon your wife?

Why do you look so oddly at your wife?

BERTRAM

She's none of mine, my lord.

She is no wife of mine, my lord.

DIANA

If you shall marry,

You give away this hand, and that is mine;

You give away heaven's vows, and those are mine;

You give away myself, which is known mine;

For I by vow am so embodied yours,

That she which marries you must marry me,

Either both or none.

If you marry,

you reject this hand, and that is mine;

you break heaven's vows, and those are mine;

you reject me, who we know is mine;

for I am by my vows so intertwined with you

that she who marries you must marry me,

either both or none.

LAFEU

Your reputation comes too short for my daughter; you

are no husband for her.

Your reputation is too low for my daughter; you

shall not marry her.

BERTRAM

My lord, this is a fond and desperate creature,

Whom sometime I have laugh'd with: let your highness

Lay a more noble thought upon mine honour

Than for to think that I would sink it here.

My lord, this is an affectionate and mad creature,

with whom I have sometimes shared a joke: let your Highness

think better of my honor than that I would

give it up for her.

KING

Sir, for my thoughts, you have them ill to friend

Till your deeds gain them: fairer prove your honour

Than in my thought it lies.

Sir, as my for thoughts for they will not be friendly toyou

until you give me some reason: show that your honor

is better than I am imagining.

DIANA

Good my lord,

Ask him upon his oath, if he does think

He had not my virginity.

My good lord,

ask him to swear on oath that he

did not take my virginity.

KING

What say'st thou to her?

What have you got to say to her?

BERTRAM

She's impudent, my lord,

And was a common gamester to the camp.

She's cheeky, my lord,

and had plenty of men in the camp.

DIANA

He does me wrong, my lord; if I were so,

He might have bought me at a common price:

Do not believe him. O, behold this ring,

Whose high respect and rich validity

Did lack a parallel; yet for all that

He gave it to a commoner o' the camp,

If I be one.

He does me wrong, my lord; if I was like that

he could have bought me a low price:

do not believe him. Look at this ring,

which cannot be matched for richness

and craftsmanship; and yet he says

he gave it to a cheap whore in the camp,

if I am one.

COUNTESS

He blushes, and 'tis hit:

Of six preceding ancestors, that gem,

Conferr'd by testament to the sequent issue,

Hath it been owed and worn. This is his wife;

That ring's a thousand proofs.

He blushes, that hit home:

Six of his forebears

have owned and worn that ring,

handing it down in their wills. This is his wife;

that ring proves it a thousand times over.

KING

Methought you said

You saw one here in court could witness it.

I thought you said

that someone here in the court could testify for you.

DIANA

I did, my lord, but loath am to produce

So bad an instrument: his name's Parolles.

I did, my lord, but I hate having to use

such a bad tool; his name is Parolles.

LAFEU

I saw the man to-day, if man he be.

I saw the man today, if he is a man.

KING

Find him, and bring him hither.

Find him and bring him here.

Exit an Attendant

BERTRAM

What of him?

He's quoted for a most perfidious slave,

With all the spots o' the world tax'd and debosh'd;

Whose nature sickens but to speak a truth.

Am I or that or this for what he'll utter,

That will speak any thing?

You're going to believe him?

He's known as a treacherous slave,

who is accused of all the debauched sins of the world:

it would kill him to tell the truth.

It is my fate going to be decided on the evidence

of a man who will say anything?

KING

She hath that ring of yours.

She has your ring.

BERTRAM

I think she has: certain it is I liked her,

And boarded her i' the wanton way of youth:

She knew her distance and did angle for me,

Madding my eagerness with her restraint,

As all impediments in fancy's course

Are motives of more fancy; and, in fine,

Her infinite cunning, with her modern grace,

Subdued me to her rate: she got the ring;

And I had that which any inferior might

At market-price have bought.

I think she has: I certainly liked her,

and slept with her as a reckless youth will:

she knew her game and made a play for me,

leading me on by pretending to be modest,

as the harder it is to get something

the more one wants it; and, to sum up,

her great cunning, with her commonplace beauty,

made me pay her price: she got the ring;

and I got what any lowlife might

have got at the standard rate.

DIANA

I must be patient:

You, that have turn'd off a first so noble wife,

May justly diet me. I pray you yet;

Since you lack virtue, I will lose a husband;

Send for your ring, I will return it home,

And give me mine again.

I must be patient:

you, who rejected such a noble first wife,

are also cutting me off. But please;

since you lack virtue, I'll give you up as a husband;

send for your ring, I'll send it back,

and you give me back mine.

BERTRAM

I have it not.

I haven't got it.

KING

What ring was yours, I pray you?

What was your ring, may I ask?

DIANA

Sir, much like

The same upon your finger.

Sir, it was very like

the one on your finger.

KING

Know you this ring? this ring was his of late.

Do you know this ring? It used to belong to him until recently.

DIANA

And this was it I gave him, being abed.