The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (405 page)

‘Heaven knows, that you are pretty, is completely certain;
true, that thou art beauteous; truth itself, that

True, that you are beautiful; truth itself, that
thou art lovely. More fairer than fair, beautiful

You are lovely. Prettier than pretty, more gorgeous
than beauteous, truer than truth itself, have

Than beautiful, truer than truth itself, have
commiseration on thy heroical vassal! The

Sympathy on your heroic liege! The
magnanimous and most illustrate king Cophetua set

Generous and most illustrious kind Cophetua had
eye upon the pernicious and indubitate beggar

His eye set upon the baneful and undoubted beggar
Zenelophon; and he it was that might rightly say,

Zenelophon; and it was he that could rightly say,
Veni, vidi, vici; which to annothanize in the

Veni, vidi, vici; which to interpret in the
vulgar,--O base and obscure vulgar!--videlicet, He

Vernacular, --O base and obscure vernacular!—namely, He
came, saw, and overcame: he came, one; saw two;

Came, saw, and conquered: he came, one; saw, two;
overcame, three. Who came? the king: why did he

Conquered, three. Who came? The king; why did he
come? to see: why did he see? to overcome: to

Come? To see: why did he see? To conquer: to
whom came he? to the beggar: what saw he? The

W
hom did he come? To the beggar: what did he see? The
beggar: who overcame he? the beggar. The

beggar: who did he conquer? The beggar. The
conclusion is victory: on whose side? the king's.

conclusion is victory: on whose side? The king’s.
The captive is enriched: on whose side? The

The captive is enriched: on whose side? The
beggar's. The catastrophe is a nuptial: on whose

Beggar’s. The climax of the story is a wedding: on whose
side? the king's: no, on both in one, or one in

Side? The king’s; no, on both in one, or one in
both. I am the king; for so stands the comparison:

Both. I am the king; that is how the comparison stands:
thou the beggar; for so witnesseth thy lowliness.

You are the beggar; as you yourself are aware of your lowliness.
Shall I command thy love? I may: shall I enforce

Shall I command your love? I may: shall I enforce
thy love? I could: shall I entreat thy love? I

Your love? I could: shall I entreat your love? I
will. What shalt thou exchange for rags? robes;

Will. What will you exchange for rags? Robes;
for tittles? titles; for thyself? me. Thus,

For dots? Titles; for yourself? Me. So,
expecting thy reply, I profane my lips on thy foot,

Expecting your reply, I desecrate my lips on your foot,
my eyes on thy picture. and my heart on thy every

My eyes on your picture, and my heart of every
part. Thine, in the dearest design of industry,

Part of you. Yours, in the most excellent pattern of zealous gallantry,

DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO.'

Thus dost thou hear the Nemean lion roar

So do you hear the Nimean Lion roar
'Gainst thee, thou lamb, that standest as his prey.

Against you, you lamb, that stand as his prey.
Submissive fall his princely feet before,

Fall submissively before his princely feet,
And he from forage will incline to play:

And he from ravening will incline to play:
But if thou strive, poor soul, what art thou then?

But if you struggle, poor soul, what are you then?
Food for his rage, repasture for his den.

Feeding for his rage, food for his den.
PRINCESS What plume of feathers is he that indited this letter?

What kind of gaudy bird is the man that wrote this letter?
What vane? what weathercock? did you ever hear better?

What weather-vain, what weathercock? Have you ever heard better?
BOYET I am much deceived but I remember the style.

I am much deceived unless I remember the style.
PRINCESS Else your memory is bad, going o'er it erewhile.

Or else your memory is bad, going over it just now.
BOYET This Armado is a Spaniard, that keeps here in court;

This Armado is a Spaniard, that live here in court;

A phantasime, a Monarcho, and one that makes sport

He entertains fantastic notions, displays absurd pretentions, and entertains
To the prince and his bookmates.

The prince and his study-mates.
PRINCESS Thou fellow, a word:

You, fellow, a word:
Who gave thee this letter?

Who gave you this letter?
COSTARD I told you; my lord.

I told you; my lord.
PRINCESS To whom shouldst thou give it?

You are you delivering it to?
COSTARD From my lord to my lady.

From my lord to my lady.
PRINCESS From which lord to which lady?

From which lord to which lady?
COSTARD From my lord Biron, a good master of mine,

From my lord Biron, a good master of mine,
To a lady of France that he call'd Rosaline.

To a lady from France that he called Rosaline.
PRINCESS Thou hast mistaken his letter. Come, lords, away.

You have mistaken his letter. Come, lords, let’s go.
To ROSALINEHere, sweet, put up this: 'twill be thine another day.

Here, my sweet, put this away: it will be your turn another day.
Exeunt PRINCESS and train

BOYET Who is the suitor? who is the suitor?

Who is the archer? Who is the archer?
ROSALINE Shall I teach you to know?

Shall I teach you to know?
BOYET Ay, my continent of beauty.

Yes, my container of all beauty.
ROSALINE Why, she that bears the bow.

Why, she that holds to bow.
Finely put off!

Finely answered!
BOYET My lady goes to kill horns; but, if thou marry,

My lady goes to kill the horned deers; but if you marry,
Hang me by the neck, if horns that year miscarry.

Hang me by the neck, if there is not an abundance of cuckold’s horns that year.
Finely put on!

Finely applied!
ROSALINE Well, then, I am the shooter.

Well, then I am the shooter.
BOYET And who is your deer?

And who is your dear one?
ROSALINE If we choose by the horns, yourself come not near.

If we’re choosing based on horns, you yourself don’t stand a chance.
Finely put on, indeed!

Finely answered indeed!
MARIA You still wrangle with her, Boyet, and she strikes

You still wrangle with her, Boyet, and she takes
at the brow.

Good aim right between your eyes.

BOYET But she herself is hit lower: have I hit her now?

But she herself is hit lower, in the heart: have I hit her now?
ROSALINE Shall I come upon thee with an old saying, that was

Shall I answer with an old saying, that was
a man when King Pepin of France was a little boy, as

Already old when King Pepin of France was a little boy, sung
touching the hit it?

Bawdily while dancing?
BOYET So I may answer thee with one as old, that was a

I can answer you with one as old, that was
woman when Queen Guinover of Britain was a little

Aready old when Queen Guinevere of Britain was a little
wench, as touching the hit it.

Girl, sung bawdily while dancing.
ROSALINE 

‘Thou canst not hit it, hit it, hit it,

‘You cannot hit it, hit it, hit it,
Thou canst not hit it, my good man.’

You cannot hit it, my good man.’
BOYET ‘An I cannot, cannot, cannot,

‘And I cannot, cannot, cannot,
An I cannot, another can.’

And I cannot, another can.’
Exeunt ROSALINE and KATHARINECOSTARD By my troth, most pleasant: how both did fit it!

My goodness, that was very pleasant: how both of them fit it!
MARIA A mark marvellous well shot, for they both did hit it.

A target marvelously well shot, since they both hit it.
BOYET A mark! O, mark but that mark! A mark, says my lady!

A target! O, mark that target! A target says my lady!

Let the mark have a prick in't, to mete at, if it may be.

Let the mark have a bullseye in it, to aim at, if it may be.
MARIA Wide o' the bow hand! i' faith, your hand is out.

You missed the target to the left side, your hand is inaccurate.
COSTARD Indeed, a' must shoot nearer, or he'll ne'er hit the clout.

Indeed, he must shoot nearer, or he’ll never hit the bullseye.
BOYET An if my hand be out, then belike your hand is in.

And If my hand is inaccurate, perhaps your hand is not.
COSTARD Then will she get the upshoot by cleaving the pin.

Then she will get the best shot, by cleaving the nail in two.
MARIA Come, come, you talk greasily; your lips grow foul.

Come, now, your talk is gross; your lips grow foul.
COSTARD She's too hard for you at pricks, sir: challenge her to bowl.

She’s to hard for you at archery, sir: challenge her to bowl.
BOYET I fear too much rubbing. Good night, my good owl.

I fear too much rubbing of the bowling balls. Goodnight, my good owl.
Exeunt BOYET and MARIACOSTARD By my soul, a swain! a most simple clown!

By my soul, a country boy! A simple clown!
Lord, Lord, how the ladies and I have put him down!

Lord, lord how the ladies and I put him down just now!
O' my troth, most sweet jests! most incony

Oh my word, such funny jokes! How rare and fine
vulgar wit!

Vulgar wit!
When it comes so smoothly off, so obscenely, as it

When it comes so smoothly off, so obscenely, as it

were, so fit.

Were, so fit.
Armado o' th' one side,--O, a most dainty man!

Armado on the one side, -- Such a refined and dainty man!
To see him walk before a lady and to bear her fan!

To see him walk in front of a lady and carry her fan!
To see him kiss his hand! and how most sweetly a'

To see him kiss his hand! And how most sweetly he
will swear!

Will swear!
And his page o' t' other side, that handful of wit!

And his page on the otherside, that handful of wit!
Ah, heavens, it is a most pathetical nit!

Oh heavens, he is a most touching little mite.
Sola, sola!

To hunt, to hunt!
Shout withinExit COSTARD, running

Enter HOLOFERNES, SIR NATHANIEL, and DULL 

SIR NATHANIEL Very reverend sport, truly; and done in the testimony

A very honorable sport, and done with a warrant
of a good conscience.

Of a good conscience.
HOLOFERNES The deer was, as you know, sanguis, in blood; ripe

The deer was, as you know, in prime condition; ripe
as the pomewater, who now hangeth like a jewel in