The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (871 page)

Enter POLONIUS

God bless you, sir!

God bless you, sir!

LORD POLONIUS

My lord, the queen wants to speak with you now.

My lord, the queen would speak with you, and
presently.

HAMLET

Do you see the cloud over there, shaped like a camel?

Do you see yonder cloud that's almost in shape of a camel?

LORD POLONIUS

I do and it does look like a camel.

By the mass, and 'tis like a camel, indeed.

HAMLET

I think it looks more like a weasel.

Methinks it is like a weasel.

LORD POLONIUS

Its back is like a weasel.

It is backed like a weasel.

HAMLET

Or like a whale?

Or like a whale?

LORD POLONIUS

It is very much like a whale.

Very like a whale.

HAMLET

Now I will go see my mother, if you will stop messing with me.

Then I will come to my mother by and by. They fool
me to the top of my bent. I will come by and by.

LORD POLONIUS

I will tell her.

I will say so.

HAMLET

That is easy to say.

By and by is easily said.

Exit POLONIUS

Please leave me alone.

Leave me, friends.

Exeunt all but HAMLET

Now is the time when witches come out, graves open, and hell releases its demons into the world. The time to seek revenge is here. I must go to my mother, but I mustn’t lose my nerve. I must be cruel but not murderous. I must speak with bitter words, but not poison her. So, I will be in internal conflict.

Tis now the very witching time of night,
When churchyards yawn and hell itself breathes out
Contagion to this world: now could I drink hot blood,
And do such bitter business as the day
Would quake to look on. Soft! now to my mother.
O heart, lose not thy nature; let not ever
The soul of Nero enter this firm bosom:
Let me be cruel, not unnatural:
I will speak daggers to her, but use none;
My tongue and soul in this be hypocrites;
How in my words soever she be shent,
To give them seals never, my soul, consent!

Exit

A room in the castle

Enter KING CLAUDIUS, ROSENCRANTZ, and GUILDENSTERN

KING CLAUDIUS

I don’t like the way he’s acting and it’s not safe for this madness to go on. Therefore, get ready. I’m sending you and Hamlet to England.

I like him not, nor stands it safe with us
To let his madness range. Therefore prepare you;
I your commission will forthwith dispatch,
And he to England shall along with you:
The terms of our estate may not endure
Hazard so dangerous as doth hourly grow
Out of his lunacies.

GUILDENSTERN

We will gladly do our duty to all the people who depend on your majesty.

We will ourselves provide:
Most holy and religious fear it is
To keep those many many bodies safe
That live and feed upon your majesty.

ROSENCRANTZ

Everyone’s existence depends on the strength of the mind and thus, requires some protection. But the life of a king, that many lives depend upon, requires far stronger protection. A king is like a wheel on top of a mountain, and when it falls, everything in its path falls, too. When a king feels pain, everyone hurts.

The single and peculiar life is bound,
With all the strength and armour of the mind,
To keep itself from noyance; but much more
That spirit upon whose weal depend and rest
The lives of many. The cease of majesty
Dies not alone; but, like a gulf, doth draw
What's near it with it: it is a massy wheel,
Fix'd on the summit of the highest mount,
To whose huge spokes ten thousand lesser things
Are mortised and adjoin'd; which, when it falls,
Each small annexment, petty consequence,
Attends the boisterous ruin. Never alone
Did the king sigh, but with a general groan.

KING CLAUDIUS

Please get ready quickly for this trip. We must put an end to this craziness.

Arm you, I pray you, to this speedy voyage;
For we will fetters put upon this fear,
Which now goes too free-footed.

ROSENCRANTZ
GUILDENSTERN

We will hurry.

We will haste us.

Exeunt ROSENCRANTZ and GUILDENSTERN

Enter POLONIUS

LORD POLONIUS

My lord, he’s going to his mother’s bedroom. I’ll hide behind the curtain and listen. I’ll bet she gives him an earful. And, as you wisely said, ‘It is better to have someone listen to the conversation other than a mother who may be bias.’ I’ll come back before you go to bed to tell you what I heard.

My lord, he's going to his mother's closet:
Behind the arras I'll convey myself,
To hear the process; and warrant she'll tax him home:
And, as you said, and wisely was it said,
'Tis meet that some more audience than a mother,
Since nature makes them partial, should o'erhear
The speech, of vantage. Fare you well, my liege:
I'll call upon you ere you go to bed,
And tell you what I know.

KING CLAUDIUS

Thanks, my lord.

Thanks, dear my lord.

Exit POLONIUS

Oh, my crime is so awful, it smells to high heavens. It has the mark of a brother’s murder. I can’t pray, even though I want. I am like a man with so much to do, not knowing where to start, I stand still. If this hand is covered in my brother’s blood, is there not enough rain to rinse it clean? Isn’t this what God’s mercy is for? And, isn’t this what prayer is for, to protect us from sin and forgiveness? So, I’ll pray. I have already sinned. But, what kind of prayer? Forgive me Lord for my horrible crime? That won’t work since I am still reaping the rewards of my sin, the crown and the queen. Can one be forgiven and still keep the rewards of sin. What passes in this world does not in heaven. Nothing goes unseen. So what can I do? Maybe I can offer repentance. It couldn’t hurt, but it won’t help either. My heart is black as death and my soul is full of sin. Help me angels! Come on knees and bend. Heart, be as soft as a newborn, so I can pray.

O, my offence is rank it smells to heaven;
It hath the primal eldest curse upon't,
A brother's murder. Pray can I not,
Though inclination be as sharp as will:
My stronger guilt defeats my strong intent;
And, like a man to double business bound,
I stand in pause where I shall first begin,
And both neglect. What if this cursed hand
Were thicker than itself with brother's blood,
Is there not rain enough in the sweet heavens
To wash it white as snow? Whereto serves mercy
But to confront the visage of offence?
And what's in prayer but this two-fold force,
To be forestalled ere we come to fall,
Or pardon'd being down? Then I'll look up;
My fault is past. But, O, what form of prayer
Can serve my turn? 'Forgive me my foul murder'?
That cannot be; since I am still possess'd
Of those effects for which I did the murder,
My crown, mine own ambition and my queen.
May one be pardon'd and retain the offence?
In the corrupted currents of this world
Offence's gilded hand may shove by justice,
And oft 'tis seen the wicked prize itself
Buys out the law: but 'tis not so above;
There is no shuffling, there the action lies
In his true nature; and we ourselves compell'd,
Even to the teeth and forehead of our faults,
To give in evidence. What then? what rests?
Try what repentance can: what can it not?
Yet what can it when one can not repent?
O wretched state! O bosom black as death!
O limed soul, that, struggling to be free,
Art more engaged! Help, angels! Make assay!
Bow, stubborn knees; and, heart with strings of steel,
Be soft as sinews of the newborn babe!
All may be well.

Retires and kneels

Enter HAMLET

HAMLET

I could do it easily now; he is praying. He goes to heaven and I have my revenge. The villain who killed my father, I put to death. But, that is too good for him, to kill him when he is ready. He killed my father in the prime of his life without thought to his afterlife, which doesn’t appear to be so good. Not now, sword. We will wait until he is drunk or in a rage or in his incestuous bed. Perhaps, we will kill while he is gambling, swearing, or some other sinful act for which there is no forgiveness. Then, we will kill him so his soul may be damned to hell where it belongs. My mother waits for me. Death waits for the king.

Now might I do it pat, now he is praying;
And now I'll do't. And so he goes to heaven;
And so am I revenged. That would be scann'd:
A villain kills my father; and for that,
I, his sole son, do this same villain send
To heaven.
O, this is hire and salary, not revenge.
He took my father grossly, full of bread;
With all his crimes broad blown, as flush as May;
And how his audit stands who knows save heaven?
But in our circumstance and course of thought,
'Tis heavy with him: and am I then revenged,
To take him in the purging of his soul,
When he is fit and season'd for his passage?
No!
Up, sword; and know thou a more horrid hent:
When he is drunk asleep, or in his rage,
Or in the incestuous pleasure of his bed;
At gaming, swearing, or about some act
That has no relish of salvation in't;
Then trip him, that his heels may kick at heaven,
And that his soul may be as damn'd and black
As hell, whereto it goes. My mother stays:
This physic but prolongs thy sickly days.

Exit

KING CLAUDIUS

[Rising]

My prayers are just words without meaning. They will never be heard.

My words fly up, my thoughts remain below:
Words without thoughts never to heaven go.

Exit