The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (918 page)

and found he was determined to do it, I cursed him

and threatened to unmask him: he answered,

‘You landless bastard! Do you think,

with me on the other side, that anybody would give

any trust, virtue or value to any words

you might swear? No: if I denied it–

as I would, even if you could produce

irrefutable evidence–I would blame it all

on your idea, plot and evil execution:

and the whole world would be very stupid

if they didn't see that you were the one

who was motivated by the profits

which my death would bring you.’

GLOUCESTER

Strange and fasten'd villain

Would he deny his letter? I never got him.

Tucket within

Hark, the duke's trumpets! I know not why he comes.

All ports I'll bar; the villain shall not 'scape;

The duke must grant me that: besides, his picture

I will send far and near, that all the kingdom

May have the due note of him; and of my land,

Loyal and natural boy, I'll work the means

To make thee capable.

Enter CORNWALL, REGAN, and Attendants

Unnatural and hardened scoundrel,

would he deny he wrote that letter? He's no child of mine.

Listen, it's the Duke's trumpets! I don't know why he's here.

I shall block all the ports; the villain will not escape;

the Duke must promise me that: also, I will send

his picture far and wide, so that the whole kingdom

will know what he looks like; and as for my land

my loyal and natural son, I'll make sure

that you can inherit it.

CORNWALL

How now, my noble friend! since I came hither,

Which I can call but now, I have heard strange news.

Hello, my noble friend! Since I arrived,

just a moment ago, I have heard strange news.

REGAN

If it be true, all vengeance comes too short

Which can pursue the offender. How dost, my lord?

 If it's true, you can't get hold of the offender

quickly enough. How are you, my lord?

GLOUCESTER

O, madam, my old heart is crack'd, it's crack'd!

O madam, my old heart is broken, it's broken!

REGAN

What, did my father's godson seek your life?

He whom my father named? your Edgar?

What, did my father's godson try to kill you?

The one my father named? Your Edgar?

GLOUCESTER

O, lady, lady, shame would have it hid!

O lady, lady, I wish for shame that it was hidden.

REGAN

Was he not companion with the riotous knights

That tend upon my father?

Didn't he hang around with the rowdy knights

who served my father?

GLOUCESTER

I know not, madam: 'tis too bad, too bad.

I don't know, madam: it's awful, awful.

EDMUND

Yes, madam, he was of that consort.

 Yes madam, he was one of that band.

REGAN

No marvel, then, though he were ill affected:

'Tis they have put him on the old man's death,

To have the expense and waste of his revenues.

I have this present evening from my sister

Been well inform'd of them; and with such cautions,

That if they come to sojourn at my house,

I'll not be there.

It's no wonder then that he has turned bad:

they will have encouraged him to kill the old man,

so that they can get their hands on his money.

My sister has, this very evening,

told me all about them; because of her warning

if they come to stay at my house

I won't be there.

CORNWALL

Nor I, assure thee, Regan.

Edmund, I hear that you have shown your father

A child-like office.

Me neither, I promise, Regan.

Edmund, I hear that you have done your best

for your father.

EDMUND

'Twas my duty, sir.

 It was my duty sir.

GLOUCESTER

He did bewray his practise; and received

This hurt you see, striving to apprehend him.

He discovered what he was up to, and got

this wound that you can see, trying to catch him.

CORNWALL

Is he pursued?

Is he being pursued?

GLOUCESTER

Ay, my good lord.

Yes, my good lord.

CORNWALL

If he be taken, he shall never more

Be fear'd of doing harm: make your own purpose,

How in my strength you please. For you, Edmund,

Whose virtue and obedience doth this instant

So much commend itself, you shall be ours:

Natures of such deep trust we shall much need;

You we first seize on.

 If he is caught, no one will ever

have to be afraid of him again: make your plans,

use my resources as you like. As for you, Edmund,

whose virtue and obedience at this time

is so commendable, you shall serve us:

we have great need of such trustworthy people;

we choose you first.

EDMUND

I shall serve you, sir,

Truly, however else.

I shall serve you, sir,

loyally, whatever happens.

GLOUCESTER

For him I thank your grace.

 I thank your Grace on his behalf.

CORNWALL

You know not why we came to visit you,--

 You don't know why we came to visit you–

REGAN

Thus out of season, threading dark-eyed night:

Occasions, noble Gloucester, of some poise,

Wherein we must have use of your advice:

Our father he hath writ, so hath our sister,

Of differences, which I least thought it fit

To answer from our home; the several messengers

From hence attend dispatch. Our good old friend,

Lay comforts to your bosom; and bestow

Your needful counsel to our business,

Which craves the instant use.

At the wrong time of year, sneaking through the night:

there are things happening, noble Gloucester, of some importance,

which you must advise us about:

our father has written, so has our sister,

that they have fallen out, and I thought it best

not to deal with them at home; I have several messengers

waiting to be sent out. Our good old friend,

be of good heart, and give your needed advice to these matters,

which must be addressed at once.

GLOUCESTER

I serve you, madam:

Your graces are right welcome.

Exeunt

I am at your service, madam:

both of you are very welcome.

Enter KENT and OSWALD, severally

OSWALD

Good dawning to thee, friend: art of this house?

Good morning to you, friend: are you part of this household?

KENT

Ay.

Yes.

OSWALD

Where may we set our horses?

Where should we put our horses?

KENT

I' the mire.

In the swamp.

OSWALD

Prithee, if thou lovest me, tell me.

Please, if you like me, tell me.

KENT

I love thee not.

I don't like you.

OSWALD

Why, then, I care not for thee.

Well then, I don't like you.

KENT

If I had thee in Lipsbury pinfold, I would make thee

care for me.

If I had you under my power, I would make you

like me.

OSWALD

Why dost thou use me thus? I know thee not.

Why are you treating me like this? I don't know you.

KENT

Fellow, I know thee.

My man, I know you.

OSWALD

What dost thou know me for?

What do you know of me?

KENT

A knave; a rascal; an eater of broken meats; a

base, proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited,

hundred-pound, filthy, worsted-stocking knave; a

lily-livered, action-taking knave, a whoreson,

glass-gazing, super-serviceable finical rogue;

one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a

bawd, in way of good service, and art nothing but

the composition of a knave, beggar, coward, pandar,

and the son and heir of a mongrel bitch: one whom I

will beat into clamorous whining, if thou deniest

the least syllable of thy addition.

I know that you're a knave, a rascal, a scrounger,

low, arrogant, shallow, begging, serving,

bribing, filthy, lowborn knave; a

lily-livered, lawsuit starting knave, son of a whore,

vain, officious, affected rogue;

a poor slave; one who would be a

pimp, to do himself good, and you are nothing

but a combination of knave, beggar, coward, pimp,

and the son and heir of a mongrel bitch: one whom I

will beat until he begs me to stop, if you deny

anything on this list.

OSWALD

Why, what a monstrous fellow art thou, thus to rail

on one that is neither known of thee nor knows thee!

Why, what a terrible man you are, to launch such an attack

on someone you don't know and who doesn't know you!

KENT

What a brazen-faced varlet art thou, to deny thou

knowest me! Is it two days ago since I tripped up

thy heels, and beat thee before the king? Draw, you

rogue: for, though it be night, yet the moon