The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (920 page)

CORNWALL

Fetch forth the stocks!

You stubborn ancient knave, you reverend braggart,

We'll teach you--

Bring out the stocks!

You stubborn old knave, you old braggart,

we'll teach you–

KENT

Sir, I am too old to learn:

Call not your stocks for me: I serve the king;

On whose employment I was sent to you:

You shall do small respect, show too bold malice

Against the grace and person of my master,

Stocking his messenger.

Sir, I am too old to learn:

don't bring out your stocks for me: I serve the King;

I was sent to you on his orders:

you won't be showing any respect, you'll be attacking

the dignity and the person of my master

if you put me in the stocks.

CORNWALL

Fetch forth the stocks! As I have life and honour,

There shall he sit till noon.

Bring out the stocks! I swear on my life and honor

that he will sit there until noon.

REGAN

Till noon! till night, my lord; and all night too.

Till noon! Till night, my lord; and all night too.

KENT

Why, madam, if I were your father's dog,

You should not use me so.

Why, madam, you shouldn't treat me like this

if I was your father's dog.

REGAN

Sir, being his knave, I will.

Sir, as you are his knave, I will.

CORNWALL

This is a fellow of the self-same colour

Our sister speaks of. Come, bring away the stocks!

Stocks brought out

This looks like one of those fellows our sister

warned us about. Come on, bring the stocks!

GLOUCESTER

Let me beseech your grace not to do so:

His fault is much, and the good king his master

Will cheque him for 't: your purposed low correction

Is such as basest and contemned'st wretches

For pilferings and most common trespasses

Are punish'd with: the king must take it ill,

That he's so slightly valued in his messenger,

Should have him thus restrain'd.

Let me beg your Grace not to do this:

he is most in the wrong, and the good King, his master,

will make him pay for it: your intended punishment

is given to the lowest most hated wretches

for petty theft and other minor offences:

the King will certainly take offence

to see that his messenger gets so little respect

that he is locked up like this.

CORNWALL

I'll answer that.

I'll risk that.

REGAN

My sister may receive it much more worse,

To have her gentleman abused, assaulted,

For following her affairs. Put in his legs.

My sister would take it far worse

to see her gentleman had been abused and assaulted

when going about her business. Put in his legs.

KENT is put in the stocks

Come, my good lord, away.

Exeunt all but GLOUCESTER and KENT

Come on, my good lord, let's go

GLOUCESTER

I am sorry for thee, friend; 'tis the duke's pleasure,

Whose disposition, all the world well knows,

Will not be rubb'd nor stopp'd: I'll entreat for thee.

 I am sorry for you my friend; this is the Duke's whim,

and all the world knows that once his mind is made up

he can't be stopped or changed: I'll put in a word for you.

KENT

Pray, do not, sir: I have watched and travell'd hard;

Some time I shall sleep out, the rest I'll whistle.

A good man's fortune may grow out at heels:

Give you good morrow!

 
Please don't, Sir: I have gone without sleep and have a hard journey;

I will get some sleep and the rest of the time whistle.

A good man can be down on his luck:

good day to you!

GLOUCESTER

The duke's to blame in this; 'twill be ill taken.

Exit

The Duke's to blame for this; this will not be well received.

KENT

Good king, that must approve the common saw,

Thou out of heaven's benediction comest

To the warm sun!

Approach, thou beacon to this under globe,

That by thy comfortable beams I may

Peruse this letter! Nothing almost sees miracles

But misery: I know 'tis from Cordelia,

Who hath most fortunately been inform'd

Of my obscured course; and shall find time

From this enormous state, seeking to give

Losses their remedies. All weary and o'erwatch'd,

Take vantage, heavy eyes, not to behold

This shameful lodging.

Fortune, good night: smile once more: turn thy wheel!

Sleeps

Good King, you are proving the old proverb

jumping out of the frying pan

into the fire!

Come on, you lamp of the Earth,

so that I can use your handy sunbeams

to read this letter! When we are miserable

we love any relief: I know it's from Cordelia,

who very luckily has been told

about my secret plans; she will find the time

in this lawless state of affairs to make good

these losses. I'm tired, I've been up too long,

let my heavy eyelids fall so that I can't see

the shameful place I'm in.

Good night, Fortune: shine on me once again: spin the wheel!

Enter EDGAR

EDGAR

I heard myself proclaim'd;

And by the happy hollow of a tree

Escaped the hunt. No port is free; no place,

That guard, and most unusual vigilance,

Does not attend my taking. Whiles I may 'scape,

I will preserve myself: and am bethought

To take the basest and most poorest shape

That ever penury, in contempt of man,

Brought near to beast: my face I'll grime with filth;

Blanket my loins: elf all my hair in knots;

And with presented nakedness out-face

The winds and persecutions of the sky.

The country gives me proof and precedent

Of Bedlam beggars, who, with roaring voices,

Strike in their numb'd and mortified bare arms

Pins, wooden pricks, nails, sprigs of rosemary;

And with this horrible object, from low farms,

Poor pelting villages, sheep-cotes, and mills,

Sometime with lunatic bans, sometime with prayers,

Enforce their charity. Poor Turlygod! poor Tom!

That's something yet: Edgar I nothing am.

Exit

I heard them calling my name

and luckily found a hollow tree

to hide from my pursuers.

There is no port I can escape from

and no place that's not heavily guarded,

looking out to capture me. While I can stay free

I will look after myself; I plan

to take on the lowest and poorest appearance

that poverty ever inflicted on a man,

bringing him to the level of an animal; I'll smear my face with filth,

wear a blanket around my waist, tangle my hair into knots,

and naked I will confront

the winds and rain.

Around the country I have seen examples

of mad beggars, who, with roaring voices,

stick pins, spikes, nails, sprigs of rosemary,

into their numbed and senseless bare arms;

this horrible sight, in low farms,

tiny poor villages, sheep pens, and mills,

sometimes draws mad curses, sometimes prayers.

Poor Turlygod! Poor Tom!

I can be something as a beggar: I am no longer Edgar.

Enter KING LEAR, Fool, and Gentleman

KING LEAR

'Tis strange that they should so depart from home,

And not send back my messenger.

It's strange that they should leave their home,

and not answer my message.

Gentleman

As I learn'd,

The night before there was no purpose in them

Of this remove.

As far as I know

the night before they had no intention

of making this move.

KENT

Hail to thee, noble master!

Greetings, noble master!

KING LEAR

Ha!

Makest thou this shame thy pastime?

Ha!

Are you having a game with this shame?

KENT

No, my lord.

No, my lord.

Fool

Ha, ha! he wears cruel garters. Horses are tied

by the heads, dogs and bears by the neck, monkeys by

the loins, and men by the legs: when a man's

over-lusty at legs, then he wears wooden

nether-stocks.

Ha ha! He's wearing cruel garters. Horses are tied

by the head, dogs and bears by the neck, monkeys

round the waist, and men by the legs: when a man is

inclined to jump about they put wooden

stockings on him.

KING LEAR

What's he that hath so much thy place mistook