The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (927 page)

to punish their flesh like this?

An appropriate punishment! It was the flesh that created

those cannibal daughters.

EDGAR

Pillicock sat on Pillicock-hill:

Halloo, halloo, loo, loo!

Pillicock sat on Pillicock-hill:

Halloo, halloo, loo, loo!

Fool

This cold night will turn us all to fools and madmen.

This cold night will turn us all into fools and madmen.

EDGAR

Take heed o' the foul fiend: obey thy parents;

keep thy word justly; swear not; commit not with

man's sworn spouse; set not thy sweet heart on proud

array. Tom's a-cold.

Listen to the devil: obey your parents;

always keep your word; do not swear; don't

commit adultery; don't yearn for flashy

clothes. Tom's cold.

KING LEAR

What hast thou been?

What were you?

EDGAR

A serving-man, proud in heart and mind; that curled

my hair; wore gloves in my cap; served the lust of

my mistress' heart, and did the act of darkness with

her; swore as many oaths as I spake words, and

broke them in the sweet face of heaven: one that

slept in the contriving of lust, and waked to do it:

wine loved I deeply, dice dearly: and in woman

out-paramoured the Turk: false of heart, light of

ear, bloody of hand; hog in sloth, fox in stealth,

wolf in greediness, dog in madness, lion in prey.

Let not the creaking of shoes nor the rustling of

silks betray thy poor heart to woman: keep thy foot

out of brothels, thy hand out of plackets, thy pen

from lenders' books, and defy the foul fiend.

Still through the hawthorn blows the cold wind:

Says suum, mun, ha, no, nonny.

Dolphin my boy, my boy, sessa! let him trot by.

Storm still

A suitor, proud in heart and mind; I curled

my hair, wore gloves in my cap, satisfied

the lust in my mistress' heart, and did the forbidden

act with her; I swore as many oaths as I spoke words

and broke them right in front of God. I would plot

my seductions in my sleep, then carry them out when I woke. I loved

wine deeply, dice dearly, and as for women I had more

than a sultan: I had a false heart, I listened to all gossip, I had blood on my hands;

I was a pig for laziness, a fox for cunning, a wolf for greed, a dog

for madness, a lion for hunting. Don't let women trap your poor heart

with their creaking shoes and their rustling silks:

keep your foot out of brothels, your hand out

of petticoats, your pen out of moneylenders' ledgers,

and defy the devil. The cold wind still blows

through the hawthorn,

says suum, mun, ha, no, nonny.

Dolphin my boy, my boy, sessa! let him trot by.

KING LEAR

Why, thou wert better in thy grave than to answer

with thy uncovered body this extremity of the skies.

Is man no more than this? Consider him well. Thou

owest the worm no silk, the beast no hide, the sheep

no wool, the cat no perfume. Ha! here's three on

's are sophisticated! Thou art the thing itself:

unaccommodated man is no more but such a poor bare,

forked animal as thou art. Off, off, you lendings!

come unbutton here.

Tearing off his clothes

You would be better off in the grave than exposing

your uncovered body to the extremes of the weather.

Is this all that man is? Look at him carefully. You

don't owe the worm any silk, the animal no skin, the sheep

no wool, the cat no perfume. Ha! We three

have been corrupted! You are the genuine article:

natural man is nothing more than such a poor

bare two legged creature like you. Off, off, you borrowed things!

Let's undo these buttons.

Fool

Prithee, nuncle, be contented; 'tis a naughty night

to swim in. Now a little fire in a wild field were

like an old lecher's heart; a small spark, all the

rest on's body cold. Look, here comes a walking fire.

Enter GLOUCESTER, with a torch

Please, nuncle, be easy; this is a bad night

for swimming. A little fire in a big field is

like an old lecher's heart; a little spark

in a great coldness. Look, here comes a walking flame.

EDGAR

This is the foul fiend Flibbertigibbet: he begins

at curfew, and walks till the first cock; he gives

the web and the pin, squints the eye, and makes the

hare-lip; mildews the white wheat, and hurts the

poor creature of earth.

S. Withold footed thrice the old;

He met the night-mare, and her nine-fold;

Bid her alight,

And her troth plight,

And, aroint thee, witch, aroint thee!

This is the foul devil Flibbertigibbet: he starts

at the curfew and walks until midnight; he gives people

cataracts, squints and hare lips;

he puts mildew in the young wheat, and hurts

all poor creatures.

St Withold subdued the demon three times;

he met the demon and her nine offspring;

he told her to get down

and make a promise

and then he banished the witch.

KENT

How fares your grace?

How is your Grace?

KING LEAR

What's he?

Who's that?

KENT

Who's there? What is't you seek?

Who's there? What you want?

GLOUCESTER

What are you there? Your names?

Who are you? What are your names?

EDGAR

Poor Tom; that eats the swimming frog, the toad,

the tadpole, the wall-newt and the water; that in

the fury of his heart, when the foul fiend rages,

eats cow-dung for sallets; swallows the old rat and

the ditch-dog; drinks the green mantle of the

standing pool; who is whipped from tithing to

tithing, and stock- punished, and imprisoned; who

hath had three suits to his back, six shirts to his

body, horse to ride, and weapon to wear;

But mice and rats, and such small deer,

Have been Tom's food for seven long year.

Beware my follower. Peace, Smulkin; peace, thou fiend!

Poor Tom; the one who eats the swimming frog, the toad,

the tadpole, the water newt and the lizard; who

in his madness, when the devil rages,

eats cow-dung instead of salad; he swallows the old rat

and dead dogs; he drinks the scum off the

standing pool; he is whipped from parish to

parish, put in the stocks and imprisoned; he

once had three suits and six shirts to wear,

a horse to ride and a weapon to carry;

but mice and rats and such small game

have been Tom's food for seven long years.

Watch out for the devil. Peace, Smulkin,

peace you devil!

GLOUCESTER

What, hath your grace no better company?

Is this the best company your Grace can get?

EDGAR

The prince of darkness is a gentleman:

Modo he's call'd, and Mahu.

The devil is a gentleman:

he's called Modo, and Mahu.

GLOUCESTER

Our flesh and blood is grown so vile, my lord,

That it doth hate what gets it.

Our own flesh and blood has become so vile, my lord,

that it despises its parents.

EDGAR

Poor Tom's a-cold.

Poor Tom's cold.

GLOUCESTER

Go in with me: my duty cannot suffer

To obey in all your daughters' hard commands:

Though their injunction be to bar my doors,

And let this tyrannous night take hold upon you,

Yet have I ventured to come seek you out,

And bring you where both fire and food is ready.

Come in to my house: my loyalty will not allow

me to obey all your daughters' harsh orders:

though they have commanded me to lock my doors,

and let this terrible night descend on you,

I have decided to come and find you

and bring you to where there is both food and a fire.

KING LEAR

First let me talk with this philosopher.

What is the cause of thunder?

Let me first talk with this philosopher.

What causes thunder?

KENT

Good my lord, take his offer; go into the house.

My good lord, take him up on his offer; go into the house.

KING LEAR

I'll talk a word with this same learned Theban.

What is your study?

I'll have a word with this clever chap.

What's your speciality?

EDGAR

How to prevent the fiend, and to kill vermin.

How to block the devil, and to kill vermin.

KING LEAR

Let me ask you one word in private.

Let me have a word with you in private.

KENT

Importune him once more to go, my lord;

His wits begin to unsettle.

Plead with him again to go in, my lord;

he's beginning to go mad.

GLOUCESTER

Canst thou blame him?

Storm still

His daughters seek his death: ah, that good Kent!

He said it would be thus, poor banish'd man!

Thou say'st the king grows mad; I'll tell thee, friend,

I am almost mad myself: I had a son,

Now outlaw'd from my blood; he sought my life,

But lately, very late: I loved him, friend;

No father his son dearer: truth to tell thee,

The grief hath crazed my wits. What a night's this!

I do beseech your grace,--

Can you blame him?

His daughters want him dead: ah, Kent was a good man!

He said this would happen, the poor exile!

You say the King is going mad; I'll tell you my friend,

I am almost mad myself: I had a son,

whom I have now disowned; he wanted to kill me,

very recently: I loved him, my friend;

no father loved his son more dearly: to tell you the truth,

the grief has made me mad. What a night this is!

I beg your grace–

KING LEAR

O, cry your mercy, sir.

Noble philosopher, your company.

Oh, excuse me sir.

Noble philosopher, come to me.

EDGAR

Tom's a-cold.

Tom's cold.

GLOUCESTER

In, fellow, there, into the hovel: keep thee warm.