The Confident Woman: Start Today Living Boldly and Without Fear (9 page)

Have a plan and work your plan. Be disciplined to your plan unless God shows you something else He wants you to do.

The majority of women may never have a maid, but there are ways to get our work done and done well. We can enlist the help of children who are old enough to help. We can cut some things out of our schedules that are not really bearing good fruit in order to provide more time for the things we really need to do. I want to encourage you to take charge of your life. Don’t let life manage you, you manage it! Decide what you want to do and then do it. Be careful about making excuses, they rob people of their destiny more than any other thing. A great confidence booster is to feel that you are doing with your life what you know you should be doing, rather than wasting it being disorganized and vague.

Consider the Scriptures below:

Look carefully then how you walk! Live purposefully and worthily and accurately, not as the unwise and witless, but as wise [sensible, intelligent people].

Making the very most of the time [buying up each opportunity], because the days are evil.

Therefore do not be vague and thoughtless and foolish, but understanding and firmly grasping what the will of the Lord is.
(Ephesians 5:14–17)

Verse 16

This verse is very important to me. I am an aggressive person who wants to be involved in everything but I have learned the hard way that it isn’t wise or even possible. We cannot do everything and do anything well. Quality is much better than quantity. Our woman in Proverbs seems to be quite a good businesswoman in addition to being a great wife and mother. Verse 16 begins by saying she “considers” a new field before she buys it. She considers her present duties and is careful not to neglect them by taking on new ones. In other words, she seriously thinks about what she is about to do and does not act emotionally without forethought.

Oh, how much better life would be if we all took time to think about what we are about to do before we do it. It is amazing how many things I don’t buy if I just go home and think about it for a while. It is amazing how one good night’s sleep changes our minds. The things we thought we had to have yesterday may not even interest us the next day. This shows the fickleness of emotions. They are not all bad, they have the ability to bring pleasure, but they cannot be counted on to be stable. Emotions are fickle and ever changing. This is the reason why it is dangerous to do things based on high emotions without giving plenty of consideration to everything involved.

By not moving emotionally the Bible says the woman saves time and strength which she then uses to plant fruitful vines in her vineyard.

Everything that looks good is not good and a wise person will take time to examine things thoroughly. If you think about it, what is good is sometimes the enemy of what is best. There may be lots of good opportunities for you to minister in your church; but that doesn’t mean that each opportunity is the best choice for you. We should choose the more excellent things and not merely settle for another good thing. I receive many good opportunities almost daily and I have to decline to be involved in most of them. I know what I am called by God to do and I stick with my call.

Here is an example: I was recently traveling outside the United States and at the last moment, after my schedule was already set, I received an invitation to speak to the Senate of that nation. My staff encouraged me to take the opportunity but something did not feel right inside my heart about it. I took my time to answer and by not moving too fast and saying yes to something I really had no enthusiasm about, God dropped a question in my heart to ask. I asked if the entire Senate would be required to be there or if it would be voluntary attendance only. The answer came back that the Senate was not in session and that it would be voluntary.

They also explained that they might have two people or five and the total speaking time would be for five minutes. I don’t make light of five minutes or two people, but when considered with the other things I had an opportunity to do that day I knew I had to say no. I encourage you to take time to think about things. He who is hasty almost always ends up unhappy.

Our woman in Proverbs 31 expanded prudently. She was in fact a prudent woman and prudence means good management of resources. Each of us has an allotted amount of time and energy and we should manage it in such a way that we bear the most fruit we can. Emotionally driven people usually lead frustrated lives. They are filled with creative ideas but are unable to settle down long enough to lay out a blueprint and get a solid foundation. They want instant results and if they don’t get them they are usually off to another new project that will also fail.

Any time you want to end up with a quality product, business, ministry or marriage it will take time and patience. Dave and I now enjoy an international ministry that is helping millions of people, but it took thirty years to build.

I encourage you to
“
consider
”
decisions, purchases, and life choices. Be sure you expand prudently. Don’t court neglect of other duties by taking on new ones, unless of course those present duties can be moved on to someone else to make room for your new venture. A sure way to lose your confidence is to have so much to do that you are not doing any of it well.

Verse 17

Our friend in Proverbs 31 even exercises! Verse 17 begins by saying she girds herself with spiritual and mental strength. We know from a previous verse that she prepared herself spiritually for the day. Perhaps she gains mental strength by meditating on God’s Word throughout the day. Or she may be an avid reader. Perhaps she stays informed of current events so she can converse intelligently with just about anyone. She remains physically fit for her God-given task which can only mean that she gets plenty of exercise. It may be through her work or something she sets aside time for but she stays physically fit.

I became so concerned about the conditions that most people let their body get into that I wrote a book which was released in April 2006 titled
Look Great, Feel Great: 12 Keys to Enjoying a Healthy Life Now!
As a Christian, your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit and you need to keep it in good condition so God can work through you the way He desires to. Being excessively tired can adversely affect us and our spiritual life. We are not as spiritually sharp as we should be, and it is easier to be deceived. We don’t have the desire or stamina to pray as normal. We don’t present the best witness to others. It is even easier to be grouchy and unable to walk in the fruit of the Spirit when we feel tired most of the time.

I encourage you to make room in your life for exercise. You might say, “Joyce, I hate to exercise,” or “I don’t have time to exercise.” I’m very familiar with those excuses because they have been mine for most of my life. I am not where I need to be yet but I am making progress. I have finally decided that, to do what I can do is better than doing nothing at all. Find something you can enjoy and still get exercise. Try walking or playing a sport to get the exercise you need. Exercising with other people might work for you. Reading occasionally on the benefits of exercise will motivate you to include it in your life. Remember, without knowledge, people perish.

People who exercise regularly do tend to be more confident. For one thing, they feel better and more energetic so they accomplish more and enjoy what they do. They usually look better and that increases confidence. Exercise also relieves tension and stress which will help anyone’s confidence. Don’t think about exercising anymore, just do it!

Verse 18

We all have times in life when we feel like giving up and our woman in Proverbs was no different than the rest of us. However, verse 18 begins with an important statement; “she tastes and sees that her gain from work (with and for God) is good.” The verse of Scripture goes on to say that her lamp does not go out even in times of trouble, privation or sorrow. She continues on in faith dispelling fear, doubt and distrust.

Taking time to enjoy the fruit of your labors is one of the main things that will help you keep pressing on in difficult times. God gave many men and women in the Bible difficult tasks to perform but He always promised a reward. Looking to the reward helps us endure the difficulty. The Bible says in Hebrews 12:2b that Jesus despised the cross but He endured it for the joy of obtaining the prize that was set before Him. He is now seated at the right hand of the Father.

Think about Abraham’s story. This man was asked to leave his relatives and his country and go to a land that he was unfamiliar with. It was a difficult choice to make but God promised that if Abraham would obey he would be blessed and be a blessing to many.

I encourage you not to look merely at your work but look also at the promise of reward. Take time to enjoy the fruit of your labor and you’ll be energized to finish your course. It will also build confidence as you realize that you are worth enjoying the reward of your labors and it is indeed God’s will for you.

Verse 19

We see our woman working again. She is apparently making clothes for her family or apparel to sell in the market place. One thing is for sure: We don’t see her wasting time.

I believe that being fruitful makes one confident. We are not created by God to waste anything He has given us and time is certainly one of the greatest assets we have. Everyone has the same amount of it and yet some do so many things with theirs while others do nothing. You will never experience confidence if you waste your life and your time.

Verse 20

Mrs. Proverbs 31 is a giver. She opens her hands to the poor. She reaches out her filled hands to the needy (whether in body, mind or spirit).

Look at how she takes the initiative in giving. She opens her hands, she reaches out. I believe a true giver looks for opportunities to give; they search them out. Job said “I was a father to the poor and needy; the cause of him I did not know I searched out” (Job 29:16). Job even went so far in chapter 31 to state that if he did not use his arm to help people then someone should break it out of its socket!

In my opinion, givers are powerful people; they are happy and fulfilled. I lived a long, long time as a selfish, self-centered woman and I was miserable all the time. I have learned over the years, though, to be an aggressive giver; I look for opportunities and it makes my life exciting and fulfilling. There is nothing better in the world than making someone else happy. Remember that what you make happen for others, God will make happen for you. Put a smile on someone else’s face and your own joy will increase.

Notice that our woman in Proverbs 31 reached out her filled hands to the needy. When a person truly wants to give, God will give seed to sow. Even if you don’t have extra money to give, you do have something. Look around your house and start giving away everything that you are not using or wearing. If an article of clothing has been in your closet one year without being moved, there is a good chance you will never wear it again. Pass it on to someone in need and God will bless you with new things as you need them. I believe that we know giving is the right thing to do. In our hearts we can sense joy and confidence when we become givers and not merely takers.

It is no wonder I did not like this woman in Proverbs 31 when I first started reading about her. She was everything I was not but needed to become. When people are doing something better than we are, we shouldn’t reject them—we should be smart enough to learn from them! We don’t have to compare ourselves with them, but we can learn and let them be an example.

Verse 21

The Bible states that she doesn’t fear bad weather because her family is doubly clothed in scarlet. Could this mean that she has made scarlet clothing for them and also covered them in prayer with the blood of the Messiah? A Messiah, who for her, was still yet to come? We see two cross-references in the Bible to this scripture. One verse is Joshua 2:18, which shows Rahab, a woman with a sinful past, displaying a scarlet thread in her window as Jericho is destroyed. When Joshua’s men came to spy on Jericho, Rahab helped keep them safe, and as a reward for her efforts, she asked that no harm come to her family. The scarlet thread represented the Savior who was to come, just as the blood placed on the lintel and door posts of the Israelites in Egypt did on the night of Passover (Exodus 12:13).

The second reference is Hebrews 9:19–22 which gives a vivid account of Moses sprinkling the blood of slain calves and goats on the Book of the Law and covenant and on all the people. It was also put on the tabernacle, the appliances and vessels. In fact, under the law almost everything was purified by blood for the release of sin, guilt and punishment due. Thank God we have a much better covenant ratified in the blood of Jesus! Why blood? Life is in the blood and life is the only thing that can conquer death. Sin is merely death in small doses. We all sin and make mistakes but we can be continuously cleansed by the blood of Jesus as we place our faith in Him.