The Consequence of Secrets - Part Four: A Priest Romance (6 page)

The waiter pulls out my chair and lays the napkin over my lap before regaling us with today’s specials. Candlelight mutes the colors of the room, the quiet ambience wrapping us like a cocoon and making us feel as though we’re the only ones inside.

Braden orders a glass of sparkling water, and I order a glass of white wine then the waiter leaves us to look over the menu. I peruse the list with a smile on my face, glancing over the edge of my menu to Braden who is concentrated on his with a scowl on his face.

“Why are there no prices on this?” he asks, laying the menu down as he glances up at me.

I place mine on the table as well then fold my arms on top of it. “Because we’re at a fancy restaurant, and fancy restaurants don’t list their prices. It’s their way of being snobs and keeping out the riff raff. If it makes you uncomfortable, we can go and eat at the docks. We can get corn dogs and walk along the beach barefoot. I don’t care where we are, just as long as it’s with you.”

“No, I’m not uncomfortable, I just like to know what to expect when the bill comes,” he responds, nodding as our waiter places our drinks in front of us then looks at us questioningly.

“Can we have a few more minutes please?” I ask and he nods, disappearing as quickly as he appeared.

Reaching across, I place my hand on top of Braden’s. “I understand that you have your pride and that you want to pay your own way, but I don’t want you to feel as though you have to provide some kind of lifestyle for me. I don’t care about money. I don’t care about who pays what, I just want us together. We can live large, or we can live a quaint life and as long I have you and we’re happy then who cares who pays the bill.”

He moves his hands so he’s clasping mine between his. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sound snarky. I just…I don’t know what it is I’m supposed to do now. Being a priest is all I know – where do I go from here? I want to be the kind of man you deserve, the kind of man who can provide for you and give you the lifestyle you want. But, I don’t know how to do that. I mean, who out there is hiring ex-priests?”

“Braden, all I want is you. And I know you want to work, and you have a great desire to help people. We will find a job that makes you happy – whether it’s volunteer work, or whether it’s paid. You can study again if you like – whatever you want. But please, don’t worry about money, I have more than enough for both of us and our children and their children’s children. Don’t be so proud that you get caught up on numbers. We are an ‘us’. We’re not a you and me – that would make us room mates and not lovers.”

My eyes move over his face, and I notice his eyebrows raised and a slight look of surprise fixed on his features.

“What is it?” I ask.

“You spoke of children.”

My cheeks heat. “I did – is that too…presumptuous?”

“No,” he says, a smile curling up the corners of his mouth. “I just…I wasn’t sure if you’d want them, and I never thought I’d have them, so…”

I shrug. “Well, not right away, but when we’re ready, I want everything with you.”

“I want everything with you too,” he murmurs, lifting my hand and bringing it to his lips.

“Then how about we forget this whole, your money, my money thing and choose something to eat?”

He nods, kissing my hand again. “All right. I just want to be the kind of man you deserve.”

“A man who would give up everything in his life just to be with me? Yeah, you’re already that and so much more – you’re more than I deserve, more than I could ever want. You’re perfect for me, and I love you.”

“I love you too.” And with that, we lean across the table and press our lips together, taking our first public kiss that isn’t laced with taboo or worry about being caught. I suppose in the back of my mind, I’ve been worried that we wouldn’t work without all the secrets and desperation to drive our desire, but the kiss feels even more wonderful out in the open than it did in secret, and when we sit back down and lift our menus to finally order, I can’t stop smiling. I’m happy.

With our shoes in hand, we stroll along the beach, hand in hand as the wind whips at our hair. I can’t keep my hands off her, and the freedom to touch and hold her without the oppressiveness of my cleric uniform is wonderful. I’d been so caught up in the reality of losing my position that I forgot what I gave it up for – a life out in the open with this beautiful creature beside me.

Stopping, she tilts her head up to the sky, letting the breeze from the rough sea blow over her face, her hair billowing out behind her, a muted gold in the fading light.

“It’s so beautiful here,” she muses, her eyes closed as the last rays of sun touch her skin. “I think I forgot how to enjoy it all.”

“You’ve been through a lot over the past few years.”

She opens her eyes and meets my gaze, a sad smile on her lips as I see the remembered pain shining in her colorful irises. Reaching out, I cup my hand to her cheek, running my thumb over her delicate skin as my body feels this need for her – even if I’m just standing near her.

“Do you see that house down there? The one in the middle with the yard lights on?” She looks down toward a row of houses that line the beach, their gates opening out to sand instead of grass. Lowering my hand, I slide my arm around her waist and follow her gaze.

“I see it,” I respond.

“That’s where I grew up. It’s where all the memories of my mother are. I was so sad when daddy sold it after Jules left for college. But, at the same time, I understood – our memories, while they comforted us, were a ghost that haunted him, reminding him of everything he lost.”

I don’t know what to say. I could offer the words a priest would in this situation. I could recite a verse from the bible in the way that I’m trained. But, I don’t feel it would be right in this situation. I don't think she needs a Psalm. What she needs is her boyfriend’s ear while she talks through her memories and shares her thoughts. So, I stay quiet, giving her my arm and my ears as her comfort.

“I feel like I don’t even know the girl who grew up in that house anymore, and I wonder if my mother would even recognize who I’ve become. I feel as though the person I am now has been shaped by secrets and fear, and now that they’re gone – who am I now?” She turns to me, her expression serious as she looks deeply into my eyes. “I suppose that’s something we both have in common,” she says. “We both spent our lives becoming something else.”

I take her hands in both of mine, and hold then between us, my chest feeling tight as that feeling I’ve been trying to push down comes back up to the surface. It’s a fear that now that the fight is over, we won’t be enough for each other anymore.

I tell her as much, “I’m afraid I won’t be enough for you.”

Her expression softens and she pulls her hands from mine, sliding them up to interlace behind my neck as she peers up into my face. “You are the only thing I’m sure about Braden. I’m just trying to say that I understand what you were saying in the restaurant about wanting to work and find your place in the world. I want that too. The only thing I know for sure, is that my place is right beside you. We need to figure this out together – like a real couple without all the bullshit we’ve had to fight through.”

Looking down at her, I nod, although these nerves swirl around in my stomach, and I feel as though my life has been made up of butterflies in a jar, suddenly set free to flutter about in this world. I have no idea where any of them are going to land, or where they’re going to lead me. I just know that one of them stayed behind, telling me I had one part right – I have Emma, and everything else will work out fine.

Morning light seeps through my eyelids, bringing me to consciousness. The first thing I do is smile, warm and comfortable in a big bed with a firm body wrapped around me. I open my eyes and reach my hand behind me, threading my fingers into Braden’s thick hair. He stirs and shifts, pressing his soft lips to my bare shoulder. “I love you,” he whispers sleepily.

I turn in his arms and press my lips to his, kissing him softly. “Good morning,” I say, my hands moving down his body, resting on his ass for a moment before moving between us to touch his rather firm rod, stiff and ready. I’ve never enjoyed sex so much. I’ve never wanted it this much. He makes me want to be permanently joined to him. When we make love, he’s so caring and wants nothing more than to assure my pleasure. He doesn’t take from me. He gives. Oh, does he give. I have a great desire to give back…

“This is definitely a good morning,” he smiles, as I glide my hand up and down his shaft.

“It’s about to get even better,” I murmur, using my teeth to pull at his lip as I slide down the bed, disappearing under the sheets where I position myself above him and take his length into my mouth.

He lets out a groan and says my name, sucking in his breath when I roll my tongue around his tip. As I take him in as deep as I can, I keep my hand around his shaft, pumping as I suck back and forth, one hand on his stomach, feeling his abs tighten beneath my fingers.

His hands go to my hair, sliding into the morning tangles as he groans and hisses, his hips rocking against me, his cock pushing at my throat. His reaction causes me to get more turned on than I expected. It feels amazing to be the one making this stunning man to lose control, to be the name he calls in his most intimate moment as he spills himself inside my mouth. I swallow his seed, sucking gently until the pulsing subsides.

“Come here,” he says, his hands reaching down to guide me upward. I climb up the bed and look down at him as he brushes his fingers through my hair and meets my eyes. He doesn’t say anything, he just takes in my face then pulls me toward him and kisses me passionately.

He shifts his weight so he’s on top, my head resting in the cloud like pillows as his tongue slides against mine. I wonder if his taste in my mouth is as arousing to him as my taste in his mouth is to me. Then I feel him harden again against my thigh and let out a gasp of need as my core pulses. Wanting.

With my legs parted, he moves to his tip sits just at my opening. I tilt my hips, wanting him to push inside but he reaches between us and takes hold of his shaft, moving his tip back and forth in my juices, circling my clit, up and down, up and down. My need grows, forming a groan in my throat as my body hums and catches alight. He dips his tip into my opening, ever so slightly, his mouth still working against mine as he pauses to whisper, “You feel like silk.”

He glides up to my clit, his breathing seeming to match mine as our tongues slide together and my orgasm mounts. Lights explode behind my eyes as I moan into his mouth, my arms wrapping around him tightly, my fingers fisting into his hair. This man makes something that was once a chore for me so wonderful. I can’t get enough.

As my body pulses beneath him, he shifts his tip and pushes inside me, causing my inside to clench harder, my moans to grow deeper. “Oh, Braden,” I call out, feeling my body explode again. My eyes fly open in surprise; I’ve never orgasmed that close together before. I never knew it was possible. “Oh, Braden.” This time it’s a sensual whisper as he moves in and out of me, his forehead against mine, his breath washing over my face, mingling with mine, his hard body pressed against my soft curves as we move in unison, making love. I don’t want this to stop.