The Corpse Walker: Real Life Stories: China From the Bottom Up (8 page)

ZENG:
Don't interrupt, please. Please allow Your Majesty to continue. The crowd was stunned by the downpour and dashed for cover. Many knelt down in front of my prime minister, asking him to take back his magic power. Ma granted their plea. Half an hour later, the sky cleared up. After the mourners completed the burial and funeral ceremony, they followed Your Majesty down the mountain and joined the “Dayou Royal Army.” Soon, the story of Ma's magic power spread fast, and within two weeks, Your Majesty had recruited over ten thousand subjects.

LIAO:
You are such a liar. Again, court papers say fewer than two thousand people had joined your troops.

ZENG:
Your Majesty doesn't lie or joke with you. Following that amazing ceremony, Your Majesty led his troops and seized the county hospital. They stormed the building and kicked out the hospital administrator. Then, they went directly to the family planning department and dug out all the contraceptives. They piled them up outside the building and set them on fire. Your Majesty's heroic act could be comparable to the burning of opium in the nineteenth century by Lin Zexu, the famous Qing official who attempted to stop opium trafficking by the British colonialists. Thousands of people cheered us on. Your Majesty then converted the hospital building into his palace. With this accomplished, the prime minister, chief of staff, and other officials donned traditional official garb that they had made, gathered inside the royal palace, and bowed collectively to Your Majesty to show respect and offer their gratitude.

LIAO:
I heard that Your Majesty possessed over forty concubines, and housed them in your various “royal chambers.”

ZENG:
That was the doing of my prime minister and chief of staff. Initially, Your Majesty declined the offer, saying that the kingdom was still in its infancy and hard work lay ahead. How could he indulge in sexual pleasure while nothing had been accomplished for the kingdom? But members of the cabinet begged Your Majesty to reconsider. They argued: Throughout history, in every dynasty, the emperor owned concubines housed in various palaces. If traditions were not followed, rules would not be in order. If rules were not in order, Your Majesty would lose credibility. We appreciate your determination to serve your subjects first and not to indulge in sexual pleasures. However, you have to follow the royal tradition.

LIAO:
Where did Your Majesty acquire those concubines?

ZENG:
Every one of the nurses who used to work at the county hospital was selected and made my concubine. Several of my cabinet members recommended their daughters. However, Your Majesty was very busy handling the day-to-day court business. He seldom had time to shower love over the Queen, who had spent half of her life with Your Majesty, much less those concubines.

LIAO:
Your Majesty's court seemed to be very corrupt. I can't believe court officials were willing to sacrifice their daughters so they could curry favor with you. I now understand why you chose the county hospital as your palace.

ZENG:
Your Majesty attacked the hospital first because burning the evil contraceptives was an effective way to gain support from the villagers. But Your Majesty was a little too preoccupied with the hospital and neglected the threat posed by the county police. Later on, the Chinese army was summoned and they surrounded the royal palace. Your Majesty led his troops to fight back. But unfortunately Your Majesty was captured in the initial battle. My chief of staff, Niu Daquan, moved all the concubines to the back of the palace and ordered them to jump into a pond there. He told them to commit suicide and die as martyrs. The water in the pond was too shallow. Those women were pushed into the water, but they couldn't drown. So my chief of staff became desperate. He took out his sword and chopped the heads off of two concubines. He had really lost his mind. I guess the pain and sadness of losing the kingdom were too hard to swallow.

LIAO:
I thought your chief of staff and your prime minister possessed the magic power to manipulate wind and rain. Why couldn't they scatter peas into the air and summon enough troops to fight the government troops?

ZENG:
My prime minister straightened the dragon flag, and was planning to perform his magic when a bullet hit his stomach. He was a heroic guy. With a loud howl, he managed to stand up and move a few steps forward before plopping down to the ground.

LIAO:
Your kingdom collapsed a little too fast, didn't you think?

ZENG:
It was the will of heaven. Since my chief of staff killed two people, he was given the death penalty. Your Majesty and several cabinet members in the kingdom were charged with the crimes of overthrowing the Chinese government and were thrown into jail. But Your Majesty finds it hard to obey the Chinese law. Just think about it: Generations of Your Majesty's family were buried in his kingdom. If you trace Your Majesty's ancestral line, it goes all the way to the Song dynasty, over a thousand years ago. Don't you think Your Majesty should have the right to establish his kingdom there? His kingdom is poor because crops don't grow very well there. There was not enough manpower. If family planning were to succeed there, Your Majesty would be guilty in the eye of his ancestors for not doing the right thing. Moreover, Your Majesty wouldn't allow foreigners to go in there and carry out those brutal procedures on women in his kingdom.

LIAO:
What do you mean by foreigners?

ZENG:
Anyone living outside my kingdom is considered a foreigner.

LIAO:
So, in your eyes, I'm also a foreigner.

ZENG:
Correct. No matter how big or small the country is, they should treat one another as an equal. Each should send an ambassador and establish diplomatic relations. What do you think if officials from my country go to yours to implement a policy of “having as many babies as you want”? Would you accept it?

LIAO:
Is this the reason for your repeated requests for appeal?

ZENG:
Correct.

LIAO:
Imagine if every Chinese were to follow Your Majesty's example, there would be millions of self-crowned emperors. You've been locked up in this jail for over ten years. How are the government and jail authorities treating you?

ZENG:
Your Majesty is fairly knowledgeable about Chinese herbal medicine. The prison authority has assigned Your Majesty to take care of the prison clinic. In many ways, it's been a heavenly blessing. Your Majesty gets to read the newspapers every day, and has been informed of what's going on outside. The Dayou Kingdom was very backward and isolated. Your Majesty hopes to work hard while in jail and obtain a reduced sentence so he can go back to serve his subjects soon.

LIAO:
Do you still want to be an emperor?

ZENG:
Your Majesty has learned that poverty cannot sustain a kingdom. If he wants to eliminate poverty and become rich, he needs to learn about technology. In the past, Your Majesty diligently perused history books while neglecting the changes happening outside his home. Since he was put into jail, Your Majesty has widened the scope of reading. He has just been enrolled at a correspondence college.

LIAO:
An emperor wants to go to college? That's quite refreshing. I heard that Your Majesty tried hard to get permission to attend this correspondence college. You wrote an “imperial edict” to prison officials. In your letter, you addressed the two prison officials in charge as “members of my royal cabinet.”

ZENG:
It costs money to go to college. Your Majesty wrote that “edict” with the intent to commend the two prison officials for their good work. At the same time, he hoped to ask for financial help with tuition. Little did Your Majesty know that his well-intentioned letter was misunderstood. The officials came to his cell and scolded him harshly.

LIAO:
Has the queen ever visited here?

ZENG:
Your Majesty has already banished her from the royal family.

LIAO:
So you two are divorced. Have your children changed their names?

ZENG:
It's a long story. Your Majesty is in a sour mood now, and cannot continue.

LIAO:
Here is my donation of fifty yuan [US$6.40]. I hope Your Majesty can get other sponsors to pay for your tuition. I wish you the best.

THE FENG SHUI MASTER

I bumped into Huang Tianyuan, the then ninety-year-old feng shui master, on a small mountain path in September of 1998, when I was visiting friends in Gongtanzui region, Sichuan. Huang helped villagers achieve optimum balance and harmony through the location and orientation of tombs and cemeteries.

LIAO YIWU:
Are you Mr. Huang, the famous feng shui master?

HUANG TIANYUAN:
Don't listen to other people's lies. I'm not a feng shui master. Please don't ask me for any feng shui–related advice.

LIAO:
Actually, I'm from out of town. I'm not interested in finding out about the feng shui in this area. About twelve years ago, I worked for the folk art agency here. My director, Peng, and I used to visit villages along the You River to collect folk music and arts. One day, Director Peng came here to seek advice from you because his deceased father had appeared in his dreams many times. When he and I showed up at your house, you asked Director Peng to prepare a bowl of clear water and hold the bowl in front of you. I was puzzled by the ceremony and asked: What can you see in the water? Your answer contained two words: The soul. After examining the water for a couple of minutes, you urged Director Peng to bury his father's ashes to appease the old man's soul. But Director Peng said: I have already buried my father's ashes. Upon hearing that, you tapped a burning incense stick on the side of the bowl three times and asked: How come your father's ghost is still angry? Director Peng was so scared that his face turned ashen white. He immediately knelt in front of you and said: You are right, Master! I lied. It turned out his father's ashes were still stored inside an urn at his house and he hadn't had the opportunity to bury it yet. Do you remember that?

HUANG:
I know Director Peng, but I don't remember the ceremony. I don't do that anymore. I have given up my practice.

LIAO:
How come?

HUANG:
It's a long story. During the past decade, feng shui consulting and fortune-telling have become quite popular in this area. People consult feng shui masters before the construction of houses for both the living and the dead. My specialty is to advise people with choosing burial sites. One year, I was so busy. I offered consultation to at least fifty families.

LIAO:
Why, was there a high death rate that year?

HUANG:
No, no. The advice was for the living. In this area, people spend money choosing spots with good feng shui for big and lavish tombs while they are still alive. Tombs with the right feng shui can bring good luck for your descendants.

I have worked hard for the folks here all my life and accumulated a little fortune from my business. I've just turned ninety. It's time for me to take care of myself. So, two years ago, I left the business to my nine-year-old apprentice, who is a feng shui prodigy. One day, after my retirement, the former chief of our township asked me for help. So I walked around and picked a piece of land for him. Upon my recommendation, he hired a contingent of stonemasons, bricklayers, plasterers, and tillers, who worked nonstop for three months and converted the spot into a private cemetery. The township chief then moved all of his ancestors' tombs from seven kilometers away to the new spot. He also ordered the craftsmen to build a grave for himself, which was more spacious than his house. After the project was completed, the chief hosted a huge banquet, with twenty tables full of guests. I was invited but didn't go. I got my butt out of there as soon as I could. If a person becomes too greedy, he starts to carry bad energy. I was too afraid he could pass the bad energy on to me.

LIAO:
The spot you picked for him was supposed to be auspicious. Why did you try to run away?

HUANG:
People of different status are provided with different feng shui specs and with different levels of design. A good feng shui design requires the complete harmony of yin and yang elements. It should be neither inadequate nor excessive. The chief of the township broke all the rules of moderation. He heaped on himself the luxuries normally accorded to a provincial governor. You probably have heard about it. Inside his tomb, there was a long list of modern luxuries: a stone replica of a luxury car, a stone bed carved in the shape of a dragon boat, a room set aside for a nightclub with karaoke equipment. He even built a nice carved stone chair, specifically reserved for his meeting with the president of a multinational corporation in the world of the dead. He also specifically requested the company of “young ladies.” But the stonemason lacked the proper skills and none of the statues of young women looked pretty. You could hardly tell from their faces whether they were men or women. Building a tomb should be a private affair, but the township chief made it a huge public event.

It's hard to blame him. Throughout history, there have been many people like him. For example, Emperor Qin Shihuang [259 bc–210 bc] defeated other kingdoms and united China. After he established the Qin dynasty, he racked his brain and tried to figure out how it could last forever. While searching for an immortal pill, he also began to build his own grave. He wanted to take his wealth with him. Guess what? He ended up dying at the age of forty-nine. Soon after his death, his empire crashed. Do you see any difference between Emperor Qin Shi-huang and our government officials? They are in constant pursuit of gain for themselves and their descendants. When you overdo it, you achieve the opposite result.

Please excuse the digression. Since the township chief made a big deal of his tomb, he soon caught the attention of the local media. The pictures of his tombs were all over the paper. The county government read the report and sent out an investigative team to check how the tomb was financed. They found out that the chief had embezzled public funds. It became a huge scandal. A whole bunch of people under him—the village chiefs and the village party secretaries—were all implicated. They had all followed his bad example by illegally occupying public and private lands, and embezzling public funds to build their own tombs. Many peasants also followed their lead. Those who couldn't afford to get advice from a feng shui master began to build their own tombs near those of the officials. As you can see from here, there are several rows of empty tombs on the sunny side of the path.

LIAO:
Were you implicated in the scandal?

HUANG:
And how! The township chief blamed me for all his criminal activities. He told everyone that he had fallen into my superstitious trap. He said I had encouraged him to embezzle public funds to support his tomb-building project. He accused me of ruining his career and fortunes as well as those of his descendants. Then, many other party officials followed suit. They went to the police with the same accusations against me. Overnight, I became a criminal who was responsible for the revival of superstitious activities in the region. I had to run away and hide inside my own tomb for several months. Nobody knew where I was. They caught my nine-year-old apprentice and made him a scapegoat. The TV station shot a documentary about how the nine-year-old feng shui prodigy was a quack and deceived people with his tricks. After the documentary was aired, many people started to harass my family members. The public security bureau detained them for interrogation. Luckily, none of my family members knew the location of my hiding place.

As the investigation expanded, police began to target other feng shui practitioners. They ended up arresting over twenty of them. Those poor guys were publicly denounced at village meetings and paraded through the streets along with other criminals. I heard several of the younger feng shui guys have been sent to a reeducation camp around here.

Two years ago, there used to be an area in the marketplace for blind fortune-tellers and feng shui masters. I used to have a booth there and was in great demand. Many considered me a regional treasure. But police raided the area and made it illegal to practice fortune-telling and feng shui.

LIAO:
Are you still on the run?

HUANG:
No. Once the campaign was over, people forgot about me. Besides, I'm in my nineties. What can they do about me? I'm too old to do any physical labor if they decide to send me to the reeducation camp. If they do lock me up, I could corrupt more people in jail by giving them feng shui advice. Believe it or not, people love this kind of stuff. During the Cultural Revolution, the Red Guards also clamped down on feng shui and fortune-telling activities. But I never stopped my practice because there was always a need somewhere. People secretly invited me to their homes and asked for my advice.

LIAO:
Yesterday, I walked around the area you just mentioned. It was empty. Apart from those who have been sent to the local reeducation camp, where are the rest of the fortune-tellers and feng shui masters?

HUANG:
They have all gone to the neighboring provinces of Guizhou and Hunan. Modern transportation has made it much easier to move around. Sometimes, people in Guizhou and Hunan don't like outsiders to come in and invade their territories. Then, the Sichuan practitioners will travel to the coastal regions of Fujian and Zhejiang provinces where people are getting rich and desperately need the advice of fortune-tellers and feng shui masters. It's pretty easy to do business there. All you need to do is to show off a couple of your normal tricks and the locals will be all over you. However, it's a different story here. Since there is an oversupply of fortune-tellers and feng shui masters, you have to have solid skills to make money.

LIAO:
I think the central government has launched a nationwide campaign against feudalistic and superstitous practices.

HUANG:
You must be talking about witchcraft. I call that superstition. Recently, as feng shui and fortune-telling are out of favor, Witch Chen's business has started to pick up. Her house has been packed with customers. That witch only knows one trick: burn some fake paper money to appease the ghost and mix the ashes with water. She then has people drink the water, saying that it will cure them of illness. Apart from the water trick, she will also put on a Taoist costume and dance in a circle, mumbling to herself and screaming. She claims that the spirit of the Empress in Heaven possesses her, and the empress can help drive any illness or evil spirits from the patient's body. Who knows what kind of ghost has possessed her. She is illiterate, and can't read a single character. But she charges people fifty yuan [U.S. $6.40] per session. I don't know why people take her seriously. Mixing water with paper ashes is pure crap. Huh, when I was on the run from police, that woman profited from my misfortune. In this world, feng shui changes all the time. One minute, luck appears on the east, and the next minute, it moves to the west. It's like catching a mouse inside a quilt—you pounce on this end, and the mouse escapes from the other.

LIAO:
Do you think your good luck will return soon?

HUANG:
I bet it will. At the moment, people are very desperate and they all go visit Witch Chen. Once they realize that witchcraft doesn't work, they will begin to miss me. I grew up reading the books of Confucius. I spent years poring over the I Ching, the Book of Changes, and all the Taoist classics. I studied Chinese medicine for many years. In the old days, a person with my knowledge and talents would have been picked by a governor or an emperor to be his adviser.

LIAO:
With your advanced age, you are still filled with ambition. It's really admirable.

HUANG:
I was very ambitious, but, as you know, I haven't had too much luck in this life because the feng shui surrounding my ancestors' tombs doesn't have any extraordinary features. I've spent several years studying and surveying this region, and finally located a precious spot where “the floating dragon falls between the penholder.” Based on my astrological calculations, the Huang family will prosper after I depart from this world.

LIAO:
Could you explain a little more? I'm confused by the “floating dragon falls between the penholder” line.

HUANG:
You know the mountain range here is called the Mountains of Penholders because there are three penholder-shaped mountains. I walked around the area with a compass many times. The spot for my tomb nestles right between the first penholder-shaped mountain and the second. Also, if you use binoculars, you will see the Wu River wending its way through the same area between the first and second mountain. In many ancient Chinese legends, the Wu River harbors a floating dragon. A poet once described the Wu River as “the floating dragon falls between the penholder.” Do you get it? I will reside in the same spot as the dragon, which will bless my future generations. Unfortunately, this treasured spot has not been discovered yet. Otherwise, with such good feng shui, this place should have produced an emperor. Sadly, the only famous thing we got here was a tribal headman.