The Cowbear's Christmas Shotgun Wedding (Curvy Bear Ranch 3) (10 page)

“I want to taste you,” he murmured against the inside of her thigh.

She gasped when his lips met her tender flesh. Licking, sucking, and nipping, he swirled his tongue against her in ways that made her melt into the sheets. She grabbed a fistful of the blanket and yanked it toward her.

Oh, God. How could it feel so good?

He lashed his tongue against her clit, sending sparks of vibrant energy down her legs to curl her toes. She cried out, unable to restrain the wanton passion rising up from her bear. With trembling thighs and quivering knees, she shook as his enchanted tongue brought her to the brink of absolute pleasure.

Then he stopped.

“What?” She snapped her head up. “Why did you stop?”

“Because I want to feel you when you come.” He crawled across her body until his chest rested on her belly. He cradled her face in his hands. “I need to be inside of you. I can’t wait any longer.”

She nodded, unable to move her lips for fear of waking up. This had to be a dream. A long, luxurious, erotic fantasy. But it wasn’t.

As he kneed her thighs apart, she whimpered. Not from fear, but from the enormity of what was about to happen.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“Mm-hmm.”

“I promise I won’t hurt you.”

“I know.”

As he pushed his cock against her tender pussy lips, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. Inch by inch, he slid into her until he met resistance. Before she could tense up, he surged past her virginal barrier and buried himself deep inside.

She cried out and clung to him. A tiny twinge of discomfort gave way to undulating waves of ecstasy. His hips rocked into her with a tenderness that stole her heart. She leaned up to capture his mouth with hers. As she pressed her tongue between his lips, he groaned and thrust deeply.

Consumed by his ravenous kisses, she moved as if driven by instinct. Her hips rose and fell in perfect harmony with his. Every time he pulled back, she matched him, then surged forward to take him all the way inside. She grabbed his taut ass and squeezed. He growled in response, giving her a glimpse of his feral intent.

Equally enthralled, she rode the ever rising tide of animalistic need until she shattered around him. She screamed in ecstasy as her pussy vibrated against his cock. Overwhelmed by the intensity the orgasm, she collapsed onto the bed. As her fingers raked a trail down his chest, he roared and pushed into her harder and faster.

She moaned and writhed beneath him. Without warning, he bared his teeth and bit her shoulder. She screamed as pleasure and pain pushed her into another body-wracking orgasm. He panted. Sweat dripped down to singe her flesh with its heat.

And just when she couldn’t take another second of her heart slamming against her ribcage, he tensed. He released her shoulder as he came in a moaning display of pure passion. Thick spurts of liquid heat warmed her from within. His hips rolled a few more times before he shuttered and collapsed. Locked together, she never wanted to leave his arms.

Minutes passed before he eased out of her and rolled onto his back. He pulled her against him and pressed his forehead to hers. “God.”

“Yeah,” she murmured in agreement.

“I never want to let you go,” he whispered.

She swallowed and buried her head in his chest. She didn’t want him to let her go either. As she snuggled into his arms, she wondered if she could find a way to stay. The house was a disaster, but he’d probably help her repair it. She’d lose her job for sure. How would she find another one in town? West Yellowstone didn’t have room for a furniture store, let alone an interior designer.

As she grappled with the logistics of what it would take to make it work, her bear growled. She wanted to stay. After finally being released so she could run and play, her bear hollered at her that she was his mate. She didn’t know what to think. She never imagined finding a boyfriend, let alone a mate. Didn’t bears mate for life?

That was a hell of a long time, longer than she’d ever dreamed of having someone to love. Because if she acknowledged her bear’s feelings, then she’d also have to admit that she was falling in love with him, and she wasn’t ready to make such a huge leap of faith.

Chapter 10

Logan grabbed a nail from between his lips and held it against a loose shingle on the roof. When he’d awoken at dawn, Kate had still been sleeping. He didn’t want to wake her, so he decided to get some stuff done around the house.

After spending the better part of an hour clearing the last bits of debris from where her barn once stood, he’d jogged over to his barn to gather supplies. He’d tossed them in a wheelbarrow, and then had run back to her home. An hour later, he’d finished replacing all the windows except for the one in her bedroom. He could do that later.

A quick peek through the window gave him a glimpse of his sleeping mate. Making love to her had given him a sense of connection that he didn’t know he’d been missing. His bear leapt for joy when she rolled onto her hip. The sheet slipped down to reveal her curvy butt. If he could wake up seeing her sexy little body every morning, he’d be one hell of a happy man.

Hours had passed since sunrise. Since he didn’t have anything left to do other than repair the roof, he’d climbed up the ladder. He was probably going to catch hell for pounding nails while she slept, but so far she hadn’t moved more than a few inches.

The
thump, thump, thump
of the hammer became an endless rhythm as he replaced or repaired shingles along the top of the roof. He worked on one steeply sloped side before moving to the other. He’d just hammered in the last nail when he heard her calling for him.

“I’m up here,” he yelled.

“What on earth are you... oh, wow. You fixed the roof. I thought that would take days.”

“Nope, just a few hours. I checked and most of the damage was cosmetic. You didn’t have any dry rot, but you could stand to get new insulation.”

He climbed down the ladder and found her waiting. Golden rays of light sparkled through her silky hair. He couldn’t resist dropping the hammer and pulling her into his arms.

“I missed you.”

“You’ve only been up a few hours,” she said.

“Still missed you.”

“I don’t know how to thank you for all the work you’ve done around here.”

“Your smile is thanks enough.” He traced her bottom lip with his fingertip before catching her chin between his thumb and forefinger. As he leaned toward her, she sighed. He pulled back slightly. “What?”

“I know what you’re doing.”

“Which is…”

“You can’t just clean up the surface of a house and change the way I feel about it. I have some terrible memories of this place. That, more than anything, is what’s making me want to sell it,” she said.

“Then let’s demolish it and build a new house.”

“That’s impossible. It would take too much money and I don’t have any. I can barely afford my apartment as it is,” she said.

“I could find a way to make it happen. We could make new memories here, together.”

“I don’t know…”

“At least let me help you clear out the old ones. We didn’t finish cleaning out your dad’s bedroom. Let’s do that today and then see where we’re at. Maybe it will have a different vibe if we get rid of all that clutter,” he said.

“I guess we could try it.”

She reached for his hand. With a slow exhale of relief, he took it and followed her inside.

***

Kate sifted through box after box of junk. She’d never realized how much of a pack rat her father had been. Three hours later, she opened a small box and discovered a set of leather-bound journals. She flipped open the first one and found it dated the September she’d started first grade.

My little girl’s off to school. Her momma’s madder than hell at me for forgetting to buy crackers for her lunch. How the hell am I supposed to remember a thing like that? She always finds something to bitch about. I’ve been dry three days now, trying to do right by my kid. But that bottle of Jack’s looking mighty tasty, mighty sweet. Katie won’t git home for another hour. I can make it one more hour without a drink, dammit.

Kate set the journal down in her lap, stunned that he’d tried to stop drinking. She’d had no idea. Memories of her father came back from her first-grade year. She couldn’t recall everything, but now that she really thought about it, he hadn’t been as drunk that year. She flipped a few pages and found an entry from a few months later—Christmas Eve.

Damn devil’s got a hold of my soul. Damn bottle’s been whispering my name, like it knows me. Like it’s yearning to be my lover. At least I’d have something warm in bed with me at night. Jilly’s taken up to sleeping in Katie’s room. Like she’s protecting her or something. She don’t need no protecting. I’m her daddy, not some bum off the street. I tried praying these demons away, even talked to Reverend Tanner ‘bout it. Maybe I lost my soul back in ‘Nam.

Kate closed the book as tears formed in her eyes. Logan gave her a quick glance then dropped the box he’d been digging through and knelt in front of her.

“Honey, what’s wrong?” he asked.

“I always thought he did it on purpose.”

“Did what on purpose?”

“Drinking. I thought that if he loved me enough, he’d stop bringing booze home. But it was more than that for him. It was a sickness, an addiction. He tried to stop, but he couldn’t.”

“Oh, sweetie.” Logan scooped her into his arms. “Alcoholism is a disease. Even people who stop drinking can hear the siren’s song of oblivion calling.”

“He served in Vietnam during the war. Two tours. My mom said that when he came back, he wasn’t the same man who’d left.”

“I can’t imagine what he saw over there.”

“He called it hell on earth. He fought in the Cambodian jungles too. Most of his company died. Daddy used to call them the lucky ones.” She swiped at a falling tear. “I want to read more. I feel like I’m finally getting to understand him for the first time in my life.”

“Do you want to take a break first, maybe get some air?” he asked.

“No.”

“What can I do to help?”

“Just hold me.”

As Logan wrapped an arm around her shoulder, she opened the second journal. This one started the day she’d left home for good.

I’m all alone. Wife’s dead. Daughter hates me. Why didn’t God just kill me back before I became a burden to my family? I hate what I done all these years. Katie won’t speak to me now. I don’t blame her. She got stuck with a good-for-nothing father. I know why she left. Dammed booze. I hate what I’ve become.

“He hated himself.” Kate closed the journal and looked at Logan, who had been reading over her shoulder. “I never knew. I thought he didn’t care.”

“It sounds like he cared a lot but didn’t know how to stop drinking.”

“I wish I could have talked to him when he was alive.”

“What would you have said?” he asked.

“I would have forgiven him. I would have tried harder to help him, and now it’s too late.”

She sobbed as Logan tucked her head under his chin. The weight of a lifetime of anger drained from her as sadness claimed her heart. If only she’d known how he’d felt when he was alive. Maybe she could have been a better daughter.

“Shh,” Logan murmured as he rubbed her back.

She sat like that long enough to let her tears dry up. As she pulled away from Logan, he looked at her with both love and concern in his eyes.

“How are you doing?” he asked.

“I want to go to his grave… will you take me?”

“Of course.” He helped her stand and guided her through boxes full of memories.

When they reached his house, he ran around to the passenger side of his truck and held the door open. He helped her up then jumped into the driver’s seat. Daylight waned as sunset approached. A pink haze frosted the underbelly of rain-heavy clouds.

While Logan drove through the woods then onto Highway 20 toward West Yellowstone, she took in the beauty of the sky. They had sunsets like this in Idaho too, but somehow, this one seemed sent from heaven.

As they approached the edge of town, Logan turned onto a side road which ended at a locked gate.

“We’re going to have to walk from here,” he said.

“I don’t even know where he’s buried.” She rubbed the back of her right shoulder in an attempt to ease the tension in it.

“I know where his grave is. My brothers and I attended the funeral.”

“I didn’t even bother,” she said.

“You were estranged. No one expected you to come.”

“They probably think I’m a horrible person,” she said.

“You had every reason to stay away. Knowing everything I know now, I’m surprised you came back at all.”

“You can understand why I don’t want to stay then, can’t you?” she asked.

“I can understand, but that doesn’t mean I like it, or that I won’t find a way to make you stay.” The edge of his mouth twitched as if he wanted to smile, but didn’t.

As they passed through rows of gravestones, she wondered about their lives. Had other people died alone, estranged from the people they loved because they couldn’t find a way to show them their true selves?

When they reached the farthest point in the cemetery, Logan released her hand. “If you need anything, I’ll be right behind you. Okay?”

“Logan?”

“Yeah.”

“Thank you. I couldn’t imagine doing this alone.”

“You don’t have to.”

As he stepped back a few feet, she turned to stare at her father’s gravestone. Nondescript amongst the others, she brushed snow off of its face.

Jack Peter Wrangler

October 17, 1949 – December 1, 2015

“I’m sorry we never understood each other,” she whispered. “I hope you’re up in heaven with Mom. I know she’d forgive you too.”

She cried until a deep calm came over her. She looked up, half-expecting to find her father standing next to her, but the space beside her was empty. Still, she felt his presence and knew in her heart that deep down, he’d really loved her.

By the time she was ready to leave, the sky had turned a deep navy. A million stars twinkled in the night sky. She turned away from her father’s grave and from the past that had haunted her all of her life and walked toward her future. She didn’t want to leave Logan. She had no idea how she would make the transition work, but for the first time since she’d returned, she wanted to find a way to stay.