The Cowboy Way (10 page)

The rest of the article was more of the same. So she skipped it and looked at the pictures of Jake being stepped on by White Whale, being tossed in the air by Grand Slam, and being rolled on the dirt by the nose of Mighty Max.

Why would anyone want to be a bull rider?

The door opened and a nurse appeared. She had a friendly smile and a scrubbed, shiny face, with teeth as white as her uniform. A tiny woman, she had an air of authority about her.

“You must be Beth.”

Beth nodded.

“I'm Shirley. Mr. Dixon will be a little longer. Dr. Trotter called. He said that while we have Jake captive, he might as well order more tests.” She laughed. “And Jake is in there hooting and hollering like he's being hog-tied.”

Beth smiled. “I can just imagine.”

“No sense hanging around here, honey. Why don't you go to the cafeteria and have a bite to eat? I'll have him meet you there.”

“Thank you, Shirley. I think I'll do that.”

“First floor, rear. Follow the purple line until…” Shirley shook her head. “Forget it. Go to the first floor. Today's special is tuna-noodle casserole. Just follow the smell.”

Beth found the elevator and hit the button to the first floor, but made a wrong turn somewhere. She walked on, figuring she'd find a purple line somewhere. Seeing some people ahead, she decided she'd ask them for directions.

As she approached, she heard a child crying as medical staff scurried about. Straight ahead was a wall of windows and doors. She could see an ambulance parked outside, and EMTs rolling a stretcher from it, then hurrying through the big glass doors into the Emergency Room.

A young boy lay on the stretcher. He was covered in blood. Next to him, a young woman was crying, saying his name over and over. “Johnny…Johnny… Johnny…I'm here. Mommy's here, Johnny.”

Beth pressed her back to the wall. She watched through the windows on her right as Johnny was wheeled to the back of the Emergency Room.

She couldn't move, couldn't swallow the lump that formed in her throat. She flashed back to two years ago.
“Kevin…Kevin… It's Mommy, Kevin. Mommy's here, Kevin.”
She closed her eyes and let the tears come.

“Are you okay, miss?”

Beth opened her eyes to see an elderly woman with a Volunteer name tag pinned to her bright red lab jacket. She stuffed some tissues into Beth's hand.

“Can I help?”

Beth shook her head and sniffed. “I'm okay. I'm just thinking…thinking back to another time.”

“Follow me.”

Beth didn't know why, but she followed the woman as instructed. It must have been something in her kindly eyes, or the way she reminded Beth of her boss Inez.

“This is our meditation room.” She flicked on a dim light. “No one's here. You relax now, dear.” She left quickly, probably sensing that Beth didn't want to talk.

Beth sank into one of the overstuffed chairs and looked around. There was a mural of a water scene on the front wall. To the right of the mural was a fountain, a girl and a boy under an umbrella. Water was trickling down the umbrella into the bowl of the fountain. The sound of the water was soothing. A couple of bushes, probably silk, flanked the fountain.

Beth sat in the chair, feeling drained. She said a prayer for Johnny, then another for Kevin, and another for all the kids who were sick and suffering in the world. Children, the innocent and yet the bravest and most resilient of us all.

She didn't know how long she had been sitting there with her eyes closed, listening to the water trickling, when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She jumped.

“I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you.” Jake's voice was a whisper, as if he were in church.

She took his hand. She wanted some connection with this man, brave in his own way. A man fighting his own battles.

“How did you find me?”

“My friend the candy striper saw you go this way. Then I asked one of the volunteers in the hallway, and she knew you right off.”

He took a seat next to her. In the dim light, she could barely see him, but she could smell his aftershave. Could hear his steady breathing.

“Are you all right?”

“I had some kind of a meltdown, Jake. I saw a young boy being wheeled into the ER and it reminded me of the day of the accident. All I could see was Kevin covered in blood and…”

He took her hand, and she felt a connection to him, a warmness that started in her heart and spread over her like a warm blanket. She looked at their hands clasped together. It seemed so natural to confide in him, to share what was in her soul.

“It's my fault that Kevin's in a wheelchair. I didn't know that Brad had started drinking again. I should have known. I should have known, Jake.”

He put an arm around her shoulder. She leaned into him.

“It wasn't your fault. It was Brad's fault.”

“I wish I could believe that.”

“Believe it.”

“I hate it when I'm like this. I feel…weak.”

“Weak? So, you're not allowed to show any emotion? You have to keep it all in, to be brave?”

“Yes.”

“You've dealt with the death of your husband and the almost death and long rehabilitation of your son. Plus, you blame yourself for the accident, for not knowing that Brad was drinking again. Let's see, what else can we load on your shoulders?”

She smiled and squeezed his hand.

“Jake Dixon, you're good for me.” Beth felt the fog lifting from her brain. She wiped her tears and blew her nose. She took a couple of deep breaths and felt better. “How did you make out in X-ray Land?”

“I was stripped naked and posed and photographed from every angle. That idiot Trot even ordered blood tests!”

“Did you wear one of those gowns that open in the back?”

“Yup.”

“Wish I could have seen that.” She chuckled. “And I'll bet you never took off your boots or your hat.”

“They made me take off my boots, but I never took off my hat.”

“And you only take your hat off for one thing and one thing only.”

He slapped his knee. “How did you know that, darlin'?” He went heavy on the western accent.

“I think we're doing the dialogue from a bad western movie,
darlin'
.” Beth felt better. He was good for her. “Shall we go?”

“You okay now?”

“Yes. Thanks.”

“Beth?” His voice was low, a whisper on the air.

He pulled her into his arms. His index finger traced her lips and the side of her jaw. Beth was glad that the
chair was behind her in case she fell, because her knees weren't locking.

He bent his head and kissed her. When his tongue traced her lips, she sighed, opened for him. He held her tighter. She took off his cowboy hat and ran her fingers through his soft hair.

She let herself feel—the touch of his callused hands on her arms, the softness of his lips, the way his breath caressed her face when he spoke her name.

What was she doing? She broke the kiss, astonished by the way he made her feel. He'd kissed her before, but she wasn't ready for this—this intense feeling for him.

She couldn't get involved with a man who might have a drinking problem. A man who could end up in a wheelchair like Kevin because of his injuries. A man who rode bulls, one of the most dangerous sports of all, so much so that being wheeled from an ambulance into the Emergency Room was routine.

“Jake, I'm going to talk to Johnny's mother. Maybe I can just hold her hand and keep her company or get her some water or something. Do you mind?”

“Not at all.”

He smiled at her, a smile that told her that he admired her.

“Are you sure you can handle it?” he asked.

“I think so. I'm okay now.”

“Then you go right ahead, and take your time.”

J
ake crossed his arms and ankles and leaned against the wall in the hallway. Through the thick glass window across from him, he could see the waiting area of the Emergency Room.

It looked like every other emergency room he'd been in, and he'd been in many. If he couldn't be stitched or taped at the sports medicine office, he'd be strapped to a stretcher and slipped into an ambulance like a letter into an envelope. Then he'd be rushed to the nearest hospital.

When it was one of his fellow bull riders who took a bad hit, he'd drive over to the hospital after the event to keep him company.

If things weren't that bad, they'd hit the road and head to the next event.

Yep. ERs were all the same—crowded with barely
enough uncomfortable plastic chairs for everyone. Some people paced, others sat as still as statues. Some cried softly, others looked ever hopeful as they waited for news.

The broken and bloody were the ones Jake identified with. They'd have to wait, sometimes hours, before their names were called. He'd experienced that too many times.

Beth sat next to a young woman who he assumed was Johnny's mother. They were talking intently. Beth had her arm around the woman's shoulder, and they held hands in a fisted grip.

Jake knew it had to be hard on Beth to experience Kevin's accident all over again. Yet she was there for a stranger who was going through the same thing, supporting her, caring.

Beth Conroy was one special woman.

She didn't have to drive with him to the hospital. He could have gone for X rays another time. Maybe after the Challenge was over. But she sure was persuasive. No. It wasn't just that. It was because he wanted to be with her—alone—and away from all the distractions back at the ranch.

When they kissed, he felt something stir inside his very soul. Sure, he had the normal physical jolt, but there was more, like the adrenaline rush when he won a Gold Buckle or rode a bull that no one else could.

He'd noticed her doing little things around the ranch to help—she talked to the kids, wiped tables, served meals and pitched in generally. She could have taken a break, like many of the parents did, but she was always willing to lend a hand.

He didn't begrudge the parents some time by
themselves while the kids were participating in the program. It was hard being the caretaker for someone with special needs. He could see the exhaustion on their faces, in their eyes, in the slump of their shoulders.

Beth had had that same look of exhaustion when he'd picked her and Kevin up at the airport. Now it seemed almost gone.

For the time she had left at the Gold Buckle, he wanted to show her a good time. Last night's adventure at the Last Chance Saloon had had its highs and lows, but now he knew the mistake he'd made.

He drank in front of Beth.

Jake noticed a doctor-type dressed in aqua-colored scrubs enter the waiting room through big steel double doors. Everyone turned in his direction and held a collective breath, until he picked out the person he was looking for. Beth's new friend stood, gave a solemn nod and disappeared behind the doors after the doctor.

With her hands folded in her lap, Beth looked around. Her gaze settled on Jake. She smiled. He smiled back and waved, then waited as he watched her walk from the glass room toward him.

“Her name is Maria,” she said. “Johnny was riding his bicycle home from baseball practice and a woman driver talking on a cell phone hit him. Maria is with the doctor who examined Johnny now.” Beth's breath came out in a shudder. “I hope he'll be all right.”

“I hope so, too.”

“Jake, I know you're anxious to go back to the ranch, but would you mind if I just stay a little longer with
Maria? She might need someone to talk to, and I'd like to be here for her.”

“Like I said, you take all the time you need.” He pointed outside. “I'll be out there. There's a garden with a couple of benches. Sure you don't want to take a break and catch some air?”

Looking back at the room, she shook her head. “In case Maria needs a shoulder to cry on, I want to be there.”

“Then you go right ahead.”

She gave him a quick peck on the cheek. Nice. He'd rope the moon for her whenever she looked at him like that with those big green eyes. Hell, he'd camp out in the garden all night if she wanted to stay in the ER with Maria.

“Thanks, Jake.”

He watched as she walked away, her blond hair catching glints from the overhead lights and her stride purposeful. As he watched her take a seat through the glass wall of the waiting room, his mind strayed, thinking of how she'd felt in his arms as they'd danced last night. How she'd responded to his kisses at her cabin door, in the meadow, in the chapel…

He couldn't help thinking that they were on some kind of journey together, each hesitant to take another step, yet each wondering what was over the next ridge.

Someone called to him. “Jake? Hey, Jake!”

Looking down, he saw two of the cutest kids, a boy and a girl. The boy was about seven, the girl about four or five.

He looked around to see if any adults were looking for them. Behind the glass of the ER, a woman pointed to the children and then to herself. Jake nodded.

“Hey, Jake!” the boy said again. “Can we have your autograph?”

“Why sure, son. What's your name?”

“Guillermo Hernandez-Rodriguez. And I'm gonna be a bull rider just like you.”

“Be better than me,” Jake told him.

The boy thrust a pen and a colorful rectangle of paper at Jake, who bit back a laugh. It was a magazine subscription form that little Guillermo must have found in the stacks of magazines in the waiting room.

“You're probably going to have to spell your name for me so I can get it right.”

“Um…naw, just write ‘Billy' on it. It's spelled B-IL-L-Y.”

Jake had just finished the N in Dixon, when Billy pulled the paper out of his hand and ran off. Jake watched through the window as Billy showed it to his mother. She smiled her appreciation to Jake, and he touched his hat to her.

Jake turned toward Beth. She was watching him, smiling.

He felt a push on his leg. “Hey! Me, too!”

Awkwardly, Jake crouched down to be eye to eye with the little girl. “And what's your name, princess?”

“Theresa Hernandez-Rodriguez, and this is a new dress. It's pink.” She twirled in a complete circle twice, then ended up facing him. “I want to be a ballerina.”

“I think you'd make an excellent ballerina,” Jake said. This little gal was just perfection. “And your dress is beautiful on you.”

She stuck her chin out and grinned. She had some teeth missing and some starting to come in.

“Do you want me to write ‘Theresa' on this paper?”

She nodded, then spun around again. Jake held back his laughter.

“What's your name again, mister?” she asked.

“Jake. Jake Dixon.”

“Oh.” She twirled so fast this time that she spun, fell, her bottom hitting the marble floor. Her eyes shot open wide and her bottom lip trembled, but she seemed to be more shocked than hurt.

Oh hell, she was going to cry. It broke his heart when kids cried. “Are you okay, Theresa?” He helped her up. “That was a great spin, but maybe a little too fast. Ballerinas dance really slow.” How would he know? It wasn't as if he'd ever seen a ballet in his life.

To her credit, no tears fell. She looked at her dress, smoothed it down and was back to her old self.

Jake knew she didn't have a clue as to why he was writing on a magazine subscription card for her.

“My daddy's hurt.”

He chose his words carefully. “The doctors are going to take good care of him,” he said, struggling to stand. His legs were numb and it felt like his back wasn't going to lock into place.

“A bull got him.”

“A bull?” Jake said a quick prayer. This could be bad for her father.

Theresa cupped her mouth with both hands and whispered, “A bull's horns got him in the butt.”

He covered his mouth, ostensibly rubbing his chin. He shouldn't laugh. He just shouldn't. But he was relieved for her father that the injury probably wasn't life threatening. Then it hit him.

“Is your daddy's name Miguel?”

She nodded.

“And you have a big ranch and lot of bulls, don't you?”

She nodded. “And horses. My horse's name is Candy, and Daddy says he's as sweet as me.”

Big Mike Rodriguez was one of the most important rodeo stock contractors in the country. He was a short, square, hulk of a man with a heart as big as his best bull, Tiny Tim. He was a wealthy, self-made man who gave buckets of money to Wheelchair Rodeo.

“I know your daddy.”

“You do?” Theresa took him by the hand and tugged.

“Where are you taking me, princess?”

“I want to show you to my daddy.”

“But he's busy right now. You just show him what I wrote on that paper and tell him I said to get better, okay?” When this got around the circuit, Big Mike Rodriguez would be the butt of a lot of jokes. Jake groaned at his own pun.

“Theresa, come now. You've bothered Mr. Dixon long enough.”

“Hi, Mommy!” Theresa twirled back to her mother, then curtseyed to him with a bit too much of her pink dress gathered into her hands.

Jake bowed to Theresa as much as his back would let him, then tweaked the brim of his hat. She giggled and took another bow.

“She's no problem,” he said to Mrs. Rodriguez. “I've enjoyed talking to her. I'm Jake Dixon.” He held his hand out.

“Kathleen.” She shook his hand. “I think we met a while back.”

He didn't remember. “Theresa tells me that Big Mike was hurt. Sure hope he'll be okay.”

“He'll be fine. Just needs a couple dozen stitches. I'm sure Theresa told you on what part of his anatomy he needs them.” She laughed. “She's telling everyone.”

Jake grinned. “Please tell Big Mike I said hello and that I'll pass the word as to what happened to him.”

“I think that's what Mike was afraid of!” She held on to Theresa's shoulders, probably to still her before she twirled right into Colorado. “I hope you're all right yourself, Jake.”

“Oh, I'm okay. Just had some X rays. Right now I'm waiting on a friend who's keeping someone company.”

He pointed to Beth, who must have been watching him all along. He met her gaze and knew her warm smile was for him. That made him feel good right down to the soles of his boots.

After more small talk, Theresa and her mother went back inside and Jake headed out to the garden.

He collapsed on one of the benches and thought about how he'd love to have kids of his own someday. But when was “someday” going to come? He wasn't ready to give up riding. Some riders combined a family life with rodeo, but that wasn't for him. He wouldn't like being gone from his family that much. Some dragged their families with them, but what kind of a life was that for children?

Interacting with the kids was the main reason he enjoyed Wheelchair Rodeo so much. For one week in July, it seemed as though they were all his kids, and he could enjoy each and every one of them.

Since he never wore a watch, he checked the posi
tion of the sun in the sky. Although he didn't want to rush Beth, he couldn't wait to get back to the ranch. Tonight was movie night, which usually turned into a laugh-fest and a popcorn fight. He had a John Wayne movie ready to roll. Lights-out would be at nine o'clock. They were going to get an early start on the trail ride tomorrow, and he wanted everyone fresh and alert.

He shifted his weight on the hard bench and ran through a list in his head. Everything was set for tomorrow's campout, and Jake was looking forward to it.

 

As Beth walked toward Jake, she couldn't help thinking how cute he had been with the two little autograph seekers. She'd watched him work his magic with them, just as he'd worked his magic with Kevin and Heather, the little girl who'd wanted a golden horse instead of a gray one. The kids in Wheelchair Rodeo adored him. Kevin idolized him.

“Mommy, he said I was a princess.”

“Hey, Mom, I'm going to be a bull rider like Jake Dixon.”

Jake had a way about him that made a person feel special. Like the way he made her feel when she was with him.

He had his face turned up to the sun, and his eyes were shut. His arms were crossed in front of his chest, and he was stretched out. He looked peaceful and relaxed, and she wondered what he was thinking.

She cleared her throat, and his turquoise eyes opened slowly.

He patted the bench next to him. “Any news?”

She sat down. “The good news is that Johnny's going to be okay—eventually. His most serious injury is a fractured pelvis, so they are going to put in pins and metal plates.” She sighed. “Kevin had a fractured pelvis too, among other things.”

Jake put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer. She let her head rest on his chest, taking comfort from him, drawing on his strength.

She'd never had anyone to share life's daily struggles with, and wondered if it would feel like this. Marriage was supposed to be like this but what a disappointment hers had been. It had been next to impossible to share her life with Brad; he was always drunk or hungover. They never hugged or kissed, and forget about sex. If he did show up in their bed, he was sleeping off a bender.

She found herself getting all warm and tingly when she thought of making love with Jake. She wanted to know what it would be like with him—just once. One wonderful time.

“Thanks for not rushing me. It was something I had to do.”

“I know.” He squeezed her hand. “It was a nice thing you did. I know it was hard.”

She sighed as peace and contentment washed over her. She would remember this moment forever when she was back in Arizona—sitting here on a bench in Wyoming with Jake's strong arm around her. Her heart ached with admiration for him.