The Crush (22 page)

Handcuffed, he looked a mess. He was cursing at everyone when the cops pushed him into the back seat. They wouldn't say what would happen to him.

As the red and blue flashing lights disappeared with most of the crowd, Matt put an arm around Kelly's shoulders and drew her close to him. She hugged him tightly and pillowed her head against him.

‘Are you okay?' she asked.

‘Yes, now that you are,' he answered.

The removalists swung open the back of the truck then dropped the ramp onto the ground with a metallic clatter. Checking their clipboards, they scaled the steps to the unit above the fish and chip shop. Watching the parade from the ground, Matt was almost embarrassed. The frayed sofa with a sag in the middle, a couple of chairs scavenged from an op shop, a wooden coffee table covered in green plastic, second-hand mattresses and a fridge right out of the 1970s were all loaded into the truck.

Their new home was a two-bedroom unit in an apartment block on the Hume Highway. It was slightly bigger than their old place but noisier. Rowdy eight year olds played space pirates on the green carpeted stairs, while the unit above them
rumbled with the dull
thomp! thomp! thomp!
of techno music. He'd almost forgotten how cramped it was to live in a concrete beehive with forty other families.

‘You will be okay,' Mr Nassaris said. ‘When this trouble is all finished, you can come back here to live. Me and Mrs Nassaris would be happy to have you.'

‘Thanks.' Matt smiled bitterly. He had enjoyed the old couple's company.

‘You ready to go?' his mum asked, walking up to the small group. ‘The removalists have offered to drive us over to the new place.'

‘Nah, I'll meet you there. I've got a few things to do first.'

‘Okay. Say hello to Kelly for me, won't you?'

He smiled as he broke into a jog. Mums. They always knew.

Nerves increased his speed. He was excited and jittery as he zigzagged through the streets, thinking of Kelly and her beautiful face. He'd stayed up all night preparing himself for this moment. With Blackwell gone, he could finally confess his feelings for her.

He rang her doorbell and waited. Sweat flooded down his temples.

An athletic man in his forties with a busted nose
and wispy hair answered. Matt recognised him from old television footage.

‘G'day, Mr Sinclair. Is Kelly in?'

‘Are you a friend of hers?' her dad asked suspiciously.

‘Yeah, Matt Cassidy.'

‘The footballer? Of course. How are you? Kelly talks about you all the time.'

Matt grinned.

‘Sorry mate, but she's not here.'

‘What time do you expect her back?'

Her dad paused. ‘I don't. She's already left with her mother for Central Station.'

‘Central Station?'

‘Didn't she tell you?'

‘Tell me what?'

‘She's leaving for Perth.'

‘Perth! Why?'

‘I thought she would have told you by now. Her mother and I have decided to send her to live with her aunt and uncle for six months. She wants to get as far away from Aaron as possible.'

‘What time does her train leave?'

Mr Sinclair looked behind him at a clock on the wall. ‘It would be pulling into the station as we speak. Why?'

‘I need to tell her something.' Matt started running.

The Bankstown-to-city train squealed into Central Station and Matt hopped off. He sprinted along the platform and into the main building with its clock spire and high roof crisscrossed with beams. Commuters stomped in front of him while country travellers flicked through magazines or sat down on benches with cups of stale coffee. He skidded to a stop near the television monitors listing departure times. The train to Perth was due to leave at 11:19am. His watch said 1:52pm. He'd missed her.

Out of breath and out of luck, he felt like he was going to be sick. He couldn't believe it. This was so cruel.

‘You wouldn't be looking for me, would you?'

‘Kelly!'

He nearly bowled her over with an enormous hug.

‘What are you doing here?' she asked, taken aback by his outburst.

‘Trying to find you. What's this about you going to Perth?'

She smiled painfully and looked behind him at her mum who was sitting with her luggage, decoding a crossword. ‘It's for the best,' she said.

‘Why?'

‘I need to get away. Too much has happened. I don't feel comfortable here.'

‘But everything's cool now, isn't it? Aaron's gone.'

‘He is, but it's going to take some time for me to clear my head. Moving to my aunt and uncle's place will help me do that.'

‘Why didn't you tell me you were leaving?'

‘Because I was afraid.'

‘Afraid? Why?'

‘Because I knew you'd try to convince me to stay.'

‘Of course I want you to stay. Why wouldn't I?'

Kelly smiled again, but Matt felt anything but happy. ‘I'm sorry. I've made up my mind. I really have to do this. There's no other choice.'

‘But you've changed your mind, haven't you? Your train left two hours ago.'

‘Wouldn't you know it; it's late. There will be a boarding call any minute.'

As if that was a cue, a voice announced the train to Perth was departing within the next five minutes. It was followed by an apology for the delay.

‘I better go,' she said. ‘I'll miss you.'

She hugged him and he melted into her warmness. The moment was addictively swift. She broke off then walked towards her mum.

He reached out and grabbed her hand.

‘No, please, Kelly. Don't go. It'll be all right.'

‘Matthew, I can't stay. You know that. Not after everything Aaron did to me.'

‘But you're running away.'

She squeezed his hand then moved closer. ‘I know this is hard, but all the help you gave me will be wasted if I don't get on that train. I have to start my life over again. I lost three years to that creep and I need to learn to trust people again.'

‘But don't you trust me?'

‘Of course I do. You've been a true friend over these past weeks, Matthew. In fact, you've probably been my only friend. But I can't let you continue to fight my battles for me. I've got to learn to do that for myself. Otherwise, another Aaron Blackwell will come along and this will happen all again. You don't want that, do you?'

‘No.'

‘Then be happy for me. I really don't know whether what I'm doing is right or wrong. I'm afraid that I
am
running away from everything. But please, trust me. Let me do this. Okay?'

He cast a sorrowful gaze downwards and nodded glumly.

The announcer's voice said the train to Perth was about to leave. Kelly's mum called out to her that
she'd better hurry. Agreeing, Kelly once again said goodbye to Matthew. But once again, he couldn't bare to see her go. He had one last chance to convince her to stay.

‘Kelly, I've got something important to tell you. I've been wanting to say it since the first time I met you. I just haven't had the guts to do it until today—'

‘Matthew—'

‘No, let me finish. If I don't tell you now and you leave, I'll be devastated. I can't keep it a secret any longer. It's hurting to keep it in. You see—'

But before he could say those three little words, Kelly leaned forward and kissed him.

The bliss of her lips was still warm on his when she moved back and quieted him with a whisper. ‘I know. But that's your secret. Share it with me when I get back.'

And that was the end. She walked out of his life.

 

Sitting in a train seat, he stared out the carriage window at the empty track Kelly's passenger liner had departed from twenty minutes before. There was no Hollywood ending of the girl appearing on the platform after the train had left. He'd checked. There was only misery.

He was a good guy, wasn't he? Good guys always got the girl in the end. Then why had it ended like this?

He should have been happy. His first kiss. It had been explosive. But at what cost?

Slumping against the window, he caught sight of his reflection and the shiner eclipsing his left eye. Instinctively, he poked at it to see if it still hurt but caught himself. Kelly had had one of those too. That was why she was leaving.

Matt breathed deep and stared back out the window just as his train jolted to a start. He wanted Kelly to stay. Selfish, he knew, but what was wrong about being greedy for love?

 

The football bounced on the roof of a red Honda and Matt cringed. With one eye open, he squinted at a second-storey unit below his new home. No one appeared at the balcony screaming and telling him off. Good. It was bad enough his mum had yelled at him to stop moping around the place and go outside.

‘If you look any more down in the dumps, people will start throwing rubbish on you.'

Dragging himself across the concrete parking bay, he retrieved his football, dropped it onto his boot
then kicked it back into his hands. He really should go find an oval and practise but he didn't feel like it. He didn't feel like doing anything.

Twisting the ball in his hands, he lay on a low brick wall that also served as a nest for mailboxes. He listened to the traffic flow along the Hume Highway, hearing pamphlets fluttering in their slots and on the grass. He'd have to do another delivery drop that night. The thought only depressed him more.

A white Commodore indicated and turned into the parking bay. Matt didn't know the driver but then again, he didn't know any of his neighbours. They all averted their gaze when he made eye contact. Private people with private lives and private secrets. How fitting.

Itching to do something, he rose to his feet and stretched. He was about to start sussing out the local oval when the driver of the white Commodore called out to him. He was an Aboriginal man in his thirties with cropped hair and a gap between his front two teeth. ‘Excuse me, mate. Do you live here?'

Matt turned around, his face half-hidden by his cap. ‘Yes.'

‘You wouldn't know where unit nineteen is, would you?'

‘I live in nineteen. Why?' he asked suspiciously, realising he had seen this guy before.

‘Your name wouldn't be Matthew Cassidy, would it?'

‘Yeah.'

The man walked over to him and squeezed his hand in a powerful handshake. ‘G'day, my name's Martin Blake. I'm glad I've finally found you. I've been searching for you all day.'

Matt stepped backwards, ready to bolt. He didn't know this guy. And he and his mum hadn't told anyone their new address.

‘How'd you find out where I live?'

‘I asked the owners of the fish and chip shop where you used to live. They didn't want to tell me but I told them it was urgent.'

‘Look, mate, if this has something to do with my father, we don't want to get involved, okay?'

Matt circled around the man and headed towards the steps leading up to his unit.

But the man wouldn't let him leave that easily. He stopped Matt with a simple question. ‘Ever dreamt of playing for a Sydney club, Matt?'

‘Yeah. All the time.'

‘Ever heard of the Tigers?' the man asked, toying with him.

‘Of course. Who hasn't? They're a great team.'

‘I think so too. Especially when they pay my salary every week.'

Mr Blake pulled a business card from his wallet. He handed it to Matt, who saw the words:
Martin Blake, Assistant Coach
typed under the black, gold and white Tigers logo. A million questions filled his head as he stood there trembling. He was too afraid to ask them.

‘I've been to a couple of your matches and I'm impressed by what I've seen so far,' Mr Blake said. ‘I'd like you to come down to the club and meet a couple of the other coaches first. I suspect they'll be just as impressed.'

‘What …?' Matt answered, dumbly, unable to believe what he was holding. He also knew where he'd seen Mr Blake before. Watching him from the sidelines with that other talent scout.

‘So, you interested? Or do you want me to call a doctor to treat you for shock?'

‘Is this for real?'

Mr Blake nodded, amused at Matt's reaction. ‘Only if you want it to be.'

Overwhelmed, Matt sat down on the brick wall then suddenly jumped up and yelled with delight. He was going to be a footy star!

Earsplitting cheering and applause rolled round the colossal stadium as the first team ran onto the football field. Tens of thousands of fans rose from their seats, screaming and whistling at their favourite players. Flags whipped back and forth, giant foam hands chopped through the air and the massive scoreboard flashed messages of support as the ground announcer read out each player's name. Camera crews ran up and down the sidelines, shooting footage that was watched by millions of supporters worldwide.

Nerves spidered across Matt's back. For weeks, commentators had billed this grand final as the best ever. ‘It won't get any better than this, folks …' The hype had everyone talking about the match, from
bus drivers to students to even the Prime Minister. Barbecues, street parties and pubs were firing up across the country. Two super teams were going to produce some of the best football ever. Sports lovers were urged not to miss a second of it on TV.

One person who would miss the coverage was Matt. He'd love to be watching it but for him this was no ordinary grand final. He was playing in it.

Two years had passed since he'd first played first grade for a Sydney club. The promising rookie had blitzed his opponents so thoroughly that he was being touted as the ‘New Face of Rugby League'. Rumours of clubs ready to offer him million dollar contracts were regularly written up in the Sunday tabloids. Agents were forever harassing him to let them represent him. And Australia Post regularly dumped canvas sacks of fan mail at his door. Life was looking pretty good for the kid from the poor side of town.

The fame and soon-to-be fortune hadn't gone to his head, however. (His mum threatened to cuff him one if it did.) He still went to school. Well, more precisely university, where he studied sports psychology. He still hung out with his mates during the week. (Someone had to stop Chris
asking
every
girl in Sydney out on a date.) And he still lived with his mother, albeit in a two bedroom brick home by the beach, which he'd just bought for her.

Achieving success hadn't been easy, though. He'd suffered rejection after rejection before a club finally signed him up. He'd also trained long hours, believed he could take on the best and continued playing district footy at every available opportunity. He wasn't an overnight success like a lot of commentators had tagged him.

Waiting in the change room for the cue to run onto the field, Matt shook free the tension from his body. Half-listening to the coach yelling encouragement, the twenty-year-old suddenly felt he was fifteen again, when the Bankstown Central High Mongrels went down to the Princes Boys College Lions. How devastating that loss had been. He grinned at how insignificant it seemed now. The world hadn't ended. Life had moved on. The pain had healed a long time ago.

Just like his feelings for that dark-haired girl. What was her name again? Kelly. Yeah, Kelly Sinclair. Boy, she'd been hot. Strangely enough, he'd never heard from her again after that day at Central Station. She'd moved to Perth, started a new life and forgotten
about him. And he'd been too crippled emotionally to ever contact her again.

He'd bumped into her parents just before they too relocated to Western Australia. Apparently Kelly enrolled in university to study veterinary science. She'd also found a new boyfriend who loved her dearly and never hurt her. She was the happiest she'd ever been. Matt was jealous at first but he eventually accepted her fate with happiness. Why wouldn't he? He'd helped her rebuild. The fact that she'd found joy was his only reward.

The news on her ex, Aaron Blackwell, was all bad though. After he'd torched his old man's car, he'd been expelled from school. His family name could not save him. In fact, the tabloid press had found out about the incident and ran several stories about it. Knuckles was forced to defend his son and his own reputation as an abusive parent.

Aaron's friends deserted him shortly after too. He went to a public school for a while before dropping out. That caused more friction between him and his dad, before in anger, Aaron moved out into his own place and said he didn't want to see his family again. He got a job as a taxi driver, had his licence suspended after three weeks and shacked up with a redhead called Rebecca who was four months
pregnant. Latest goss was she'd taken a restraining order against him for domestic abuse.

Matt was so glad his mum had brought him up right. Sure, they'd had their fights over the years but he was grateful that she'd always stuck by him. She was sitting in the crowd today. He'd secured front row tickets for her and her nursing buddies. She'd changed a lot too since he was fifteen. She'd finished university, quit her council job and begun working at a hospital. It had changed her whole outlook. She didn't need to live through Matt, she had her own life.

He'd been crazy ever to question her love for him. By protecting him from his father, she believed she was doing the right thing. In hindsight, it hadn't been but he understood why she did it. She only wanted the best for her son. Her love was more than two parents' combined.

He couldn't say the same about the man he'd once called dad. Despite all his promises, he never changed. He'd never bought his big property by a river. He'd never gone fishing. He never shared a laugh with his son. Leith Ryan was brought before the courts again for harassing Mrs Sanderson with his baby package. He was jailed for a further eighteen months, thanks to a testimony given by
Matt himself. His father served another three weeks of his sentence before he broke out of prison. He tried to find Matt and his mum but they'd long moved. Eventually, he sought help from Uncle Jack who got him involved in a smuggling racket. Problem was, the racket was part of a Federal Police sting and both he and Uncle Jack were sentenced to seven years jail. Matt hadn't heard what had happened to his old man since, nor did he care.

Like Aaron Blackwell, his dad had never broken out of the circle that defined his life. He'd never grown as a person or admitted his mistakes. He'd held onto his anger and nursed his pain because they were comfortable and familiar. He'd tried to suck other people into his depressing, shallow world and hurt them. However, that same world had eventually collapsed and he had been left with nothing.

Kelly, his mum, his Mongrel teammates and even Matt himself had made different choices, ones that involved taking risks, breaking away from easy options, believing in themselves.

Then there was the pain of love. Matt'd had a crush on a girl who'd never loved him back. How desperately he'd prayed that she would. But love
wasn't all fairytales and happy endings, he'd discovered. Sometimes it hurt. Sometimes it paid off. Sometimes it just fizzled into a silly thought, only to be forgotten within a day or two. But to experience love, he'd had to risk the hurt. Rejection or bliss, he couldn't let himself be scared of overextending himself. The other option was to hide in a ‘safe' world where nothing would ever touch him.

 

‘Okay! This is it!' the coach shouted, clapping Matt's teammates as their cue was given. They ran through the shadowy tunnel and onto the playing field. ‘Show those nags from up north how to play football!'

Streamers, cheering, placards and pompoms filled the air as the guys made their grand final appearance. The excitement crashed over them and almost buffeted Matt as he jogged out into the afternoon sun. Fans in their jerseys, hats and war paint shouted out their favourite player's nicknames.

One particular fan caught his eye before he took his position on the field. She was sitting next to his mum, dressed in his team's colours and waving at him. They'd known each other for about two weeks but she was great. He had a crush on her, and she
definitely had a crush on him. Before the match and after the good luck kiss, he'd promised to win the grand final just for her.

The ref's whistle blew, the crowd thundered and the kick was taken. Win, lose or draw, Matt would give it his all.