The Damned Utd (27 page)

‘What are we going to do?’ asks Peter
.

‘
We’re finishing,’ you tell him. ‘That’s what we’re going to do
.’

You pick up the phone. You call Longson
–

‘
You’ve got what you wanted,’ you tell him. ‘We’re calling a special board
meeting tonight and we’re resigning
.’

‘
There’ll be no board meeting tonight,’ he tells you. ‘I’m not driving all the
way into Derby just for you two buggers. Put your resignations in writing and
give them to the board tomorrow morning
.’

You put down the phone. You look round the office
–

At Peter. At the journalists and the mates who’ve gathered here
–

‘
You’re a bloody journalist so you can type, can’t you?’ you tell the bloke
from the
Evening Telegraph,
and
Gerald Mortimer from the
Derby Evening Telegraph
nods
.

‘Good,’ you tell him. ‘Then take this down:

Gerald Mortimer stops typing. The office is silent. The security grille locked
–

‘
Right, Peter,’ you tell him. ‘You’re next
.’

* * *

I drive back down to Derby early. I kiss my wife and I kiss my kids. I lock the door and I take the phone off the hook. I have dinner with my wife and my kids. I wash the dishes and I dry them. I bath my kids and I dry them. I read them stories and I kiss them goodnight. I watch television with my wife and I tell her I’ll be up in a bit. Then I switch off the television and I pour another drink –

I get out my pens and I get out my papers –

The league table and the results. The league table and the fixtures –

But the results never change. Never. The table never changes –

Until it’s almost light outside. Again. Morning here now –

This won’t work. That big black fucking dog again –

‘Clough out!’ he barks. ‘Clough out! Clough out!’

You’ve spent the whole night doing the rounds; house to house, pub to pub, club
to club; gathering your support and rallying your troops, your heart already
heavy with regret but your head still light with injustice and rage, injustice and
rage, injustice and rage
…

First you met with Phillip Whitehead, your friend and local MP
–

‘
Don’t give the board the chance to overthrow you,’ he told you. ‘Because
that’s what they want, what they’re waiting for. Only resign if you genuinely
don’t want the job and you’re satisfied that the sacrifice will be worth it
…’

Injustice and rage. Injustice and rage
…

Then off you flew again, off in your club car to meet Sir Robertson-King,
the President of Derby, at his local pub in Borrowash
–

‘Are you sure about what you’re doing?’ he asked you
.

‘
No, I’m not sure,’ you told him. ‘But I can’t carry on working in that
atmosphere. Now, if you took the chair
…’

‘
Let’s see how it goes at the board meeting tomorrow then
.’

Injustice and rage. And regret
…

Now night is day, tomorrow today, and the morning of the board meeting
here, your children looking at you with worry in their wide eyes, worry on their
open mouths, for the things they’ve seen, the things they’ve heard
–

The things they feel but do not understand
.

* * *

I’m late out of bed, late to get washed, late to get dressed, late down the stairs and late out the door. Jimmy is picking me up this morning, Jimmy already parked waiting outside, Jimmy with his hand on his horn, and the first thing he says when I open the door is, ‘You hear about Bill Nick, Boss?’

‘What about him?’

‘He’s resigned.’

‘What?’

‘You didn’t know?’

‘No.’

‘It’s in all the papers, all over the radio.’

‘Why?’

‘Poor results and modern players, that’s what they’re saying.’

‘What about modern chairmen and modern directors?’

‘Never mentioned them,’ laughs Jimmy. ‘But, seriously, I think it was Rotterdam. I don’t think he’s ever got over that. He told Dave Mackay that he was physically sick, he was that scared. You know his own daughter was there in the stadium when all the Spurs fans were rioting. Dave was there and all and he says he’s never heard owt as sad as the sound of Bill Nick making his appeals over the loudspeakers for them to stop fighting.’

‘I don’t know about that,’ I tell Jimmy. ‘But I do know one thing …’

‘What’s that, Boss?’

‘Never resign,’ I tell him. ‘Never ever resign.’

Then we pick up the Johns. Four big men in one small car –

No conversation. No chat. No banter. No jokes. No radio. Nothing –

Just four men on their way to Leeds. On their way to work.

* * *

You have prior engagements, prior to the board meeting, engagements you
intend to keep; so you drive miles and miles out of Derby to open a new shop
for an old friend, then you drive miles and miles back into town to visit some
elderly patients at a hospital
–

And at the shop and at the hospital, the customers and the patients, the staff
and the doctors, they all shake you by your hand and say, ‘Don’t go, Brian.
Please don’t.’

And you clasp their hands and nod your head and thank them for their
hands and for their words, and tell them, ‘I don’t want to go.’

Then you drive to the Baseball Ground and park your Derby County club
car in the space reserved for the Derby County club manager and walk through
the press and the television, the pens and the microphones, the cameras and the
lights, past a group of night-shift workers from Rolls-Royce who pat you on
your back and plead with you, ‘Please don’t bloody go, Brian. Please don’t
fucking go.’

And you clasp their hands and nod your head and thank them for their pats
and for their pleas, and tell them, ‘I don’t want to go.’

Then you disappear inside the Baseball Ground, you disappear
.

* * *

In the rain and in the sun, under the black and blue, purple and yellow Yorkshire skies, it should be business as usual today, training as usual for everyone. The club secretary has issued a statement on behalf of Leeds United:

‘
Billy will be training with the rest of his teammates as he has done over the
past fortnight when he has also been under suspension
.’

But the press and the television still want more, the pens and the microphones, the cameras and the lights, still waiting for me as we pull into the Elland Road car park, as I slam the door of Jimmy’s car, as I do up my cuffs and tell them all:

‘I am not saying a word about the FA decision. Not a word.’

* * *

Up the stairs. Through the doors. Round the corners. Down the corridors, Pete
already here; smoking his cigs and biting his nails in the antechamber
–

‘
Where have you been?’ he asks. ‘I thought you weren’t going to show
.’

‘
I had things to do,’ you tell him. ‘Now let’s get in there
.’

‘
We’ve got to wait out here
.’

‘
For what?
’

‘
For them to consider our resignations
.’

‘If they’ve got things to say, they can bloody well say them to my fucking
face,’ you tell him and walk towards the boardroom doors
–

‘
Please don’t,’ Pete says, Pete begs. ‘It’ll just make things worse
.’

So you turn back from the doors and sit down next to him and light a cig
of your own, staring at the clock on the wall and the potted plant by the doors;
and you know you’ve made a big mistake, sat out here, smoking your cig, waiting
your turn, remembering all the bloody things you know you should have
said, all the fucking things you know you should have done, all them bloody,
fucking things you had forgotten
–

Then the doors open and Longson shouts, ‘Right, you two, let’s have you in!’

But before you’re even halfway into the room, before you’ve even sat down,
you’ve already told them: ‘Accept our resignations.’

‘
Now wait, Brian,’ says Sir Robertson-King. ‘We’d like you to reconsider
.’

But Longson is quick too, quick to say, ‘He’s resigned and he wants us to
accept his resignation, so I propose we accept it and have bloody done!’

‘
Now just you listen to me,’ you tell him, tell them all. ‘We’ve only resigned
because of him, him and his narrow-minded ways. Everything I’ve ever done
has been for the good of Derby County, everything! And that includes the television
and the newspapers, the television and the newspapers that helped put
Derby County on the bloody map, that put you all on the fucking map. And
so I won’t be told by him – not by him or by the FA or by the League or by
anybody – what I can or cannot write and what I can or cannot say. But if this
board withdraw his daft ultimatum and banish that bugger from our sight and
just let us get on with our job of winning the league and then the European
Cup, of taking on every single thing in the game and of creating a footballing
dynasty here at Derby County, then we will withdraw our resignations
.’

The board nod their heads. The board mutter. The board will put it to the
vote. The board ask you and Peter both to wait outside again
–

Outside with the clock on the wall. The potted plant by the doors. The doors
that quickly open again so they can call you back in:

‘Your resignations have reluctantly been accepted,’ smiles Jack Kirkland
–

Only Sir Robertson-King and Mike Keeling have voted against accepting
your resignations. Now Mike Keeling resigns, along with your own secretary
.

‘
Don’t even think of a settlement,’ Longson tells you. ‘You’re getting nowt!
’

You stand in the centre of the room, naked and beaten, with Peter beside you
.

‘Leave your car keys on the table and get out now,’ barks Longson
.

In the centre of the room, naked and beaten before the board, their eyes down
on the table, their fingers at their mouths, their feet shuffling and eager to leave
–

‘
Not one of you has the guts to stop this?’ you ask them. ‘Not one of you?
’

But their eyes stay down on the table, their fingers at their mouths
–

‘Cowards!’ you bark at them all and turn to the doors, the doors and the
exit, the exit and the antechamber; through the antechamber and down the corridor,
down the corridor and into the executive lounge you go
–

‘
I want you out of the ground,’ Longson is shouting. ‘Both of you, now!
’

Into the heat of the lights, the gaze of the cameras, and the … Action!

Daggers drawn, pistols poised, you stand at one end of the lounge and
Longson stands at the other; Longson telling the press and the television, the
pens and the microphones, the cameras and the lights, telling them all how your
resignations have been accepted, accepted but ‘with a certain amount of sadness’
.

‘
It surprises me a little,’ you answer back, ‘that people, the very people who
want to stop me putting two words together, can’t put them together themselves
.’

But Longson keeps blinking into the lights, keeps stuttering into the cameras,
blinking and stuttering on and on about acceptance and sadness
.

‘
I feel deeply embarrassed for the chairman,’ you tell the same cameras and
lights, not blinking and not stuttering. ‘And deeply ashamed for Derby County
.’

Finally, Jack Kirkland drags the chairman away from the heat of the lights
and the gaze of the cameras, drags him back into the board meeting and, as he
goes, as Longson goes back into that boardroom, Longson turns and looks into
your eyes and spits upon his hand, he spits upon his hand again and winks
–

‘Right then, Brian, we’ll see, shall we?’

And you, you push your way through the press and the television, the pens
and the microphones, the cameras and the lights, you push your way back down
that corridor towards that boardroom, and those doors they close in your face,
slam shut in your face
–

In your face, in your face, after all the bloody things you’ve fucking done for
them, they close those doors in your face, slam them shut in your face, and you
pick up the jug of water from the table and you’re going to throw it through
those bloody doors, throw it in all their fucking faces, when Peter takes hold of
your arm, Peter takes hold of your arm and lowers the jug back down to the
table and says, ‘Leave it, Brian. Leave it
.’

* * *

The bad boy of British football doesn’t knock. The bad boy of British football just opens the office door and says, ‘You wanted to see me?’

‘Yes,’ I tell him. ‘Have a seat, William. Have a fag and a drink too, if you want.’

Bremner takes a seat. Bremner takes a fag. Bremner takes a drink.

‘You’re going to miss the Man. City match on Saturday,’ I tell him. ‘Then the Luton game the following Saturday, the League Cup game against Huddersfield, then the league games against Burnley, Sheffield United, Tottenham and Everton, and also the first round of the European Cup. That means your first match back for us will be the return leg of the European Cup game in Zurich.’

‘I’ve read the fixture list,’ says Bremner. ‘I know what I’m missing.’

‘That’s another eight games,’ I tell him. ‘Top of the three you’ve missed already. Eleven bloody matches all told.’

He takes another one of my cigs. He takes another glass of my whisky.

‘I’ve told you before,’ I tell him again, ‘if I had to pick any member of the first-team squad here at Leeds to miss games through suspension, the last name on that list – and even then, way behind any other name on that list – would be yours. Clarkey, Giles, Peter Lorimer, Norman Hunter; anybody but you. There’s not another bloody player in this whole fucking club we could possibly miss more than you.’

Bremner puts out his cig. Bremner finishes his drink. ‘Is that all?’

‘Sit down,’ I tell him. ‘Sit down and listen, will you?’

Bremner sits back down. Bremner stares back across my desk.

‘Like I’ve told you before,’ I tell him again, ‘I don’t want to lose you on the field but, if I must lose you on the field, I don’t want to lose you off the field. Now I’m not going to ask you to travel with us to away games, not unless you want to, but what I am going to ask you to consider is coming to the Central League home games, watching the reserves for me, giving me an extra pair of eyes.’

Bremner doesn’t speak. Bremner just stares back across my desk.

‘So instead of travelling to Maine Road with us this coming Saturday,’ I continue, ‘you’d be here watching the reserves play Bolton. If nothing else, it’ll be good experience for you, especially if, as I hear it, you’re thinking of going into management.’

Bremner doesn’t speak. Bremner just stares –

Into my eyes. Into the silence
.

Then the door opens again. No knock. Just John Giles standing in the doorway –

‘Thousand apologies,’ he laughs. ‘Not interrupting, am I?’

Bremner stands up. Bremner asks, ‘Can I go now, sir?’

* * *

You and Peter push your way out to your club car in the space reserved for the
club manager and then you drive through the press and the television, through
the pens and the microphones, the cameras and the lights, past the group of
night-shift workers from Rolls-Royce who bang on the roof of your grey
Mercedes and beg and beg and beg you
–