The Deal (4 page)

You,
is what I want to say, but I keep my lips shut, and shake my head. I open my eyes and look over his shoulder at the skyline of New York on our canvas, not wanting to lose myself in him.

“I can’t tell you, Craig, so please just drop it.” I try to pull myself out of his embrace, but his arms tighten around me and I’m stuck against him. I let my gaze drift to his and pain is stamped across his face; I know for a fact that my crying episode really did scare him. I battle with myself over telling him, wanting to relieve him of this protectiveness he seems to feel over me, but telling him and him knowing my feelings will put me in such a vulnerable position around him.

“I wish I could, Craig but please don’t push it. When the time is right, I’ll tell you, but right now? This is my secret to keep.”

I stare into his piercing eyes and I can see that he wants to know, that he
needs
to know so that he can at least try to make it better, but I know he can’t until I know that he loves me for real. I can feel his fingertips trailing up and down my spine and I try not to let it affect me, try not to let him see me fall into him. I lift a hand up and cup Craig’s face this time. He turns his head and kisses my palm like he did on our wedding day, before retuning his gaze back to me. “Okay, but you promise to tell me when the time is right? I care about you, Nic and I hate that you are going through whatever this is alone,” he whispers back, and that alone makes me want to burst out crying again.

Staying strong, I give him a small smile and nod.  “I promise.”

Chapter Three

9 months left

Nic

Three months down and everything I said about staying away from Craig has cracked. I'm weak, plain and simple and not weak as in  'Holy shit, how heavy are these bloody weights?! No one in their right mind can lift these!' but weak as in 'I cannot stay away from Craig, no matter how hard I try.'  And believe me, I've tried. Ever since that night I sobbed myself to sleep, Craig has toned down his sexual predatory intentions and kept a close eye on me, afraid I'm going to crack and break down again, but so far, so good. I've kept my emotions in check and Craig and I have gone on with day to day living; going to work, coming home and spending time together, getting to really know one another. Like a husband and wife should...you know the conventional way, before they
do
get hitched. Thing is, the more I know about him, the more I am falling deeper and deeper. And it's not boding well for my heart.

Within the three months I have been Mrs. Thomas, I have also been
at Craig's mercy. In and out of the bedroom. And this is where I am now. At his mercy. A few double vodkas and my head becomes fuzzy, my inhibitions fly out the window and I go from needing to stay away from Craig to needing him buried inside of me. And that, right now, is exactly where the situation is heading. And I won't do a single thing to stop him either. So yes, I am weak. Weak over my love for Craig that one touch makes me burn up and a need rips through me like no other. A need where I itch to have him all over me.

Craig has me pinned against our flat door, my legs wrapped around his waist, his hands spread across my arse while he ravages me.
His face is buried in my neck, his mouth and tongue exploring every inch of skin; kissing, sucking, biting at me. I drop my head to the side and let out a small moan while my fingers grasp at his hair. He's claiming me as his and he's doing a pretty fucking amazing job at giving me the pleasure-pain I crave from him. I grind against him to relieve the throbbing, both of us electing groans when I feel him through my knickers; rock-fucking-solid.
I'm dripping for him and I know that when I beg him, it turns this foreplay up a notch. He loves it when I beg. He makes this primal growl and I think it's a challenge for him to make me scream his name. He doesn't have to try hard.

“Craig, please.” I whimper, tugging his hair hard, just the way I know he likes – the rougher, the better. The growl comes out and his lips bruise down on mine. I'm forcefully slammed against the door, Craig's fingers digging into my cheeks, mine pulling on his hair, my legs tightening around his waist. The kiss is rough, it’s demanding; a battle of dominance and who can work up the other to the point of no return. I let him win that fight because I am beyond it. I just want him to fuck me, own every part of my body and make me lose my mind completely. I pull back from the kiss and begin to unbutton his shirt, all the while staring into his eyes. The blue of his iris' turn darker and darker with every passing moment. Our heavy breathing is synced up and I know he can’t wait - I know because I feel the exact same way. I need his hands all over my body, I need his cock deep inside me and I need him to be rough and hard and make me forget my own damn name. But right now, it’s my turn to tease him like he’s done so many times before. And with my alcohol infused brain, my confidence is out in spades, and I like the reaction I am getting from him. I take my time unbuttoning his shirt, my bottom lip bitten between my teeth and my eyes glisten with need and mischief. I can tell he knows I am playing with him by the hard gaze he is pinning on me.

“Fuck sake, Nic, just get this fucking shirt off me.” He grumbles, slamming me back into the door, pressing his body further into mine. I gasp. My eyes rolling to the back of my head. His denim-clad cock is pressing down on my clit and I whimper at the contact, gripping his half-open shirt. I end up ripping the damn thing off him, buttons flying everywhere but he doesn’t care. He drops me to the floor to take off his shirt. I grip his shoulders to steady myself, my legs feeling like jelly, but he doesn’t pull away from me. Craig throws the shirt away and grabs the hem of my dress. In one swift motion it’s off and joining the shirt on the floor. His eyes glaze over as they take in me in. I'm stood in my black, lacy push-up bra and matching underwear with tanned wedges. The fire in Craig's eyes when they meet mine could burn a whole village down. I swallow as he cages me against the door, his face in front of mine.

“I can’t get enough of you, Nic. I need to taste you, right the fuck now!” Craig pushes back from the wall and runs his eyes down my body once again. No spot left unseen. “Shit, you look like a fucking temptress. You ready to tempt me, Nic? You ready to put that delicious body to use? Ready to put that gorgeous mouth to work and scream my name? Are you, baby?”

My breath hitches and I can't form words. I just blink and swallow. Craig lifts me up again so I can wrap my legs around him and he once again grinds himself into me. I let loose, moaning out loud and tugging at his hair.  “Craig, please, please just fuck me, make me scream.”

Without saying a word, Craig strides into the bedroom and throws me down on the bed. I go to take off my shoes, but Craig grabs hold of my wrist. I take a look at him, wondering why he's stopping me and he smoulders down at me, pressing his thumb down on my pulse point, smirking when it misses a beat.

“Keep the shoes on, Nic.”

I nod at his demand, leaving the shoes alone and shift up the bed. Satisfied with my direction, he teases me whilst he unzips his jeans and pulls them down along with his boxers. I lick my lips before glancing up at my husband's face. He’s watching me with an intensity I cannot ignore. An intensity that tells me everything I need to know. He wants me just as badly.

Pushing my feelings to the back of my mind and forgetting how this shouldn’t keep happening, I allow myself one more fix of Craig. One more fix of his tongue licking me to an earth-shattering orgasm, one more fix of his fingers bringing me to the brink of oblivion and one more fix of him driving himself hard and fast into me - breaking me into tiny pieces and then bringing me back to life. In one swift movement, I'm pulled to the edge of the bed. My knickers are ripped from my body, my legs are pulled over Craig's shoulders and his mouth is assaulting my pussy. I choke at the over-powering sensation cursing through me. The way he’s working his tongue over my clit, it's like fucking magic. I don't even think Harry Potter could do the things that Craig has mastered.

My hands grasp at Craig's hair and my eyes roll back at the feeling of his tongue licking and probing every sensitive part of my pussy. My orgasm is fast approaching and I begin to involuntarily ride his face, while tugging and pulling at his hair, begging him to make me cum. I feel two fingers slide deep inside of me and that’s it, one more flick of his tongue, one more thrust of his fingers and my moans are above breaking point. I’m thrashing on the bed, whilst Craig is holding me down, licking up my juices and making me ride my orgasm out. My legs are quivering, my pulse is running erratic and I lay in a state of bliss.

Craig kisses the inside of my thigh, and lowers my legs to the bed. I watch his every move, wondering what is going to happen next. He slowly kisses his way up my body until his control is cut and he grabs me, pulls me up the bed and attacks my mouth. I groan at the tangy taste on his tongue and mouth, which makes me grab his face in my hands to taste myself on him some more. I open my legs to let Craig settle between them and with no barriers I wrap my legs around his waist and grind myself on him. We both pull back from the kiss to breathe out a sigh of pleasure. Craig slowly drags his cock through my pussy lips, teasing the both of us in return before raising his hips and putting space between us. I release my hold from him and pout but he just gives me a smirk and a chaste kiss while we both try to get ourselves under control. We are both breathing raggedly and although my head feels a little fuzzy, I can't stop staring at him. His perfect jawline, the way his eyes turn darker when he's turned on – like they are right now. The dark waves in his hair and his arms. Dear God, his arms. One experience wrapped in the muscular works of art and you are screwed for life. Literally.

We both stare at one another, the tension growing ever thick between us. Craig is looking at me like he could eat me – which he just did. My eyes are locked onto his and I couldn’t look away if I tried. The fuzziness of the alcohol is slowly fading and all I can do is watch the flicker of passion cross his eyes. The way he is looking at me is making me want to run away and hide. I’ve never seen him this intense, so full of fire. I don’t want to look into his eyes, but I can’t stop. I know that this moment is changing everything between us but what exactly is it changing? I can’t think about that right now, so in a flash, I push him onto his back and straddle him. I can see the shock in his features but he turns on his shitty smirk and I know the moment is now broken, which I am thankful for. This is supposed to be about making each other feel good, to fuck each other senseless. No feelings, no lovey-dovey shit, just pure fucking.

Keep telling yourself that, Nic

Ignoring my conscious, I tower down over Craig and lick my lips before biting the lower one. I run my hands up and down his chest, revelling in the fact that I want to squirt cream all over his body and slowly lick it all up, every last bit, teasing him, like he teases me. I can feel Craig watching me drag my fingers over his hard chest, and I can feel exactly what my touch is doing to him, the evidence is so obviously digging into my thigh and if I moved just slightly to the left, his cock would slip inside me and I would get exactly what I have been begging for since we got home. A hiss escapes Craig when I wiggle over his cock and I know he’s trying to control himself, if only for my exploration of his incredible body. I’ve never had the chance before, it’s always been a quick fuck with him exploring me, but now the tables have turned and I want to memorize every little bit of him, for this won’t last long. I won’t have him forever and when it’s time to let go, that’s it. If I embed him in my memory, at least I know this was real. I got to be with Craig Thomas for twelve months, have him ravish my body like a rag doll and bring me to complete ecstasy each and every time we had sex.

“Nic, I need you so badly. Just let me fuck you now.” Craig growls, which in turns forces me to look at his face – which is etched with longing as well as a pure desire to fuck the living daylights out of me, but more so, there’s a flicker of something I can’t detect. But I can’t focus on it too long because I am thrown onto my back in a quick exchange of situations and Craig roughly thrusts into me, causing me to scream out at the way he fills me. He completes me and by God does he know exactly how to use my body.  Lifting my eyes to meet his, he cowers over me and I wrap my legs around his waist, my arms gripping onto the headboard behind me whilst his are next to my head. He doesn’t move for a short while, we just stare at each other and even with my wiggling, my moaning at him to move, he doesn’t. What he does instead is lean down to kiss me. But this kiss isn’t like anything we have experienced before. It’s slower, it’s passionate and it seems that he is putting his soul into it, which is freaking me out a bit. I break away from the kiss and I see a spot of disappointment cloud his features.

What is he doing? What does this mean? These random expressions are appearing more and more lately? He can’t love me like I love him, it’s not possible . . .

I don’t even have time to contemplate any answers that are swirling around in my head because the cocky Craig is back, the one that normally comes out when we are fucking, and this is the one I want right now. The one to take over my body and make me forget everything, so when he pulls out, untangles my legs from his waist and rests them on his shoulders, he slams himself back into me, well, let’s say I'm not too great at keeping quiet. Meeting Craig thrust for thrust, one of my hands leaves the metal headboard and finds its way down to my clit, rubbing it in time with each stroke that Craig is pounding into me. The feeling of his cock, mixed with my own fingers is enough to start feeling the ripples of butterflies swarm inside of me. A glitch in my moans causes Craig to smile down at me and stop. He just stops. Inside of me.
Stops
.