The Deeper We Get (4 page)

She arched a brow at me, not liking being dismissed so quickly. “See you later then.” She deliberately put some extra sway in her hips as she walked away.

Good lord, she did something ungodly to a pair of jeans. It should be criminal to look that good in them.

I focused on the work at hand, losing myself in the simplicity of working with my hands. This and boxing were the only things I needed in my life
—everything else would be extra.

I was almost certain the casual thing with Scarlet wouldn’t work, but I was happy to let her think it would for a while. That probably made me a huge dick, but at the moment I couldn't bring myself to care.

The rest of my shift was spent avoiding Scarlet. She put herself in my path every second she could. Frank watched us with an expression of amusement which I guess was the best I could ask for at the moment.

I stayed after my shift to work on a new bike I had gotten right after I moved to L.A. It wasn’t an Indian, but it was an older Harley that would be amazing once it was restored. Frank had given me a key and told me I could work on it there afte
rhours.

“What are you still doing here?” Scarlet wandered back into the garage about thirty minutes after everyone had left for the day.

“Working on this.” I gestured to the bike in front of me.

“Yours?’

“Yeah, she’s not much now, but she will be.”

“Early
seventies right?” She walked around the bike, taking in the lines and the engine.

“Yep,
seventy-two. When I saw her I couldn’t stop myself from taking her home.”

“Her?”

“Yeah, she’s a lady for sure.”

She cocked her head and laughed. “Here I thought Frank was the only one to assign gender to machines.”

I shrugged. “It’s a feeling I guess.”

“What about your other bike?”

“Joan is for sure a lady, but this one here is a bit rough around the edges. I haven’t named her yet.”

“Trixie, she looks like a Trixie.” She ran her hands along the front fender. “She’s beautiful, I don’t think she’s rough around the edges, just misused.” Her tone was soft. “Maybe she just needs the right set of hands to make her shine again.” She looked me right in the eyes, and we both knew
she wasn’t talking about the motorcycle.

“Scarlet…”

“What?” She took a step toward me, her fingers trailing along the smooth leather of the seat.

“I don’t think we should go there right now.”

“Go where?”

“You know where. I'm not the guy to make you feel warm and fuzzy inside. I’m only good for a quick tussle and a laugh.”

“Why do you sell yourself short like that?” She shot back. “I see so much more in you, I wish you could see it too.”

“I’m not selling myself short, I’m just being honest about who I am.”

She shook her head. “No, you’re lying to yourself because it’s easier not to form attachments. I get that, I used to do it too. Less questions right? But you can't live alone like that forever, you’ll eventually have to learn to let people in. We’ll keep it casual for now. I’m not going to push you too hard, but I’m not going to lie to you or myself and say I don’t want more.” She walked a few steps closer. I wanted to move away, I needed the distance. I couldn’t think straight with her being so close.

There it was, she was laying it all out for me. Did I want more? I did, but it would be stupid of me to start something when I was so messed up myself.

“Stop looking for me to be the man of your dreams. I’ll only disappoint you.”

“I’m not looking for perfect, just you.” She kissed me softly, running her hands up my back.

I wanted more, to lose myself in her. But for once I wasn't going to let my hormones run away with me before I could think things through. I fisted my hands in her hair, tugging her head back and giving me access to her neck.

“We need to stop this
,” I whispered.

“So stop
,” she dared me.

Instead of stopping I dove back in for more, pressing kisses from her collarbone up to her jaw. I wanted more, to see just how amazing she looked out of her jeans, to feel her skin sliding against mine.

I pushed myself back and walked around the table. “No, this isn’t happening.”

“Why not? We both want it to happen.” She chewed her lip.

“Casual means slow for me. I don’t sleep with girls I’m not dating anymore.”

“I guess I’ll just have to wait then.” She blew me a kiss and sauntered away, leaving me alone with my regrets.

I avoided Scarlet for the
next week as best as I could. I needed to figure this out without her confusing me. I met up with Ian and Vin after I got out of school for the day.

“Hey man, where have you been lately?” Vin asked. It had been a few days since I had gone to the gym to box.

“Working mostly, with school thrown in for added fun.” I shrugged.

“I thought you were going to say you were wrapped up in Scarlet.” Ian grinned.

It was scary how close to the truth that was. I was wrapped up in her, I just needed to decide if I wanted to stay wrapped up.

“No, not that it would be a bad place to be.”

“She’s seriously hot,” Ian remarked.

I didn’t want to talk about her so I changed the subject. “What’s the plan for tonight?”

“There’s a party at some chick’s house who Ian banged,” Vin said between bites of his taco.

“Still friends huh?”

“No, she just likes me for my body.” Ian chuckled.

“Need a designated driver?” I asked, knowing there would be drinking.

“You don’t partake?” Vin questioned.

“Nope.” I didn’t elaborate, and I hope
d neither would question.

“Awesome.” Ian pumped his fist in the air.

The one thing that was awesome about guys was that they didn’t ask you about your feelings. I had been around women a lot in the past few years, and it seemed like I always had to talk about what I was feeling and why I was feeling it. Sometimes I just wanted to be, and not talk about why I was feeling that way.

After we ate
, I followed them home to leave my bike before heading to the party. We laughed and joked the whole way to the party. I felt happy for the first time in months.

The house we ended up at was huge, like mansion huge. Celia, the girl Ian had hooked up with
, was tiny with huge manmade boobs and long blond hair.

“Glad you could make it baby.” She kissed Ian before giving me and Vin a quick onceover.

“You know me, I can’t pass up a good party.” He slapped her ass, and she squealed.

“Ian, you are so bad!” She giggled.

“In the best way baby.” He winked and walked off into the crowd.

“He is such a manwhore.” Vin shook his head.

We wandered around the big open house. I guessed it was Celia’s parents’ house by how nice it was. There was no shortage of pretty girls. It seemed like all of the hot women in Los Angeles were currently congregating around the house.

“Are all the girls in California hot?” I grinned at Vin.

“Most of them,” he murmured under his breath as a cluster of girls approached us.

“Hey Vin
,” a tall brunette purred, wrapping herself around him in a hug.

“Anna.” He disentangled himself quickly. “This is Chad.”

Her feline eyes took me in. “New around here? I don't think I’ve seen you before.”

“Yeah, something like that.”

She nodded to me. “I’ll find you later.” She pressed her lips to Vin’s and walked away, swallowed up into the group she had come over with.

“Well she seemed intense
,” I joked.

“Ex of mine. She still thinks there’s a future for us no matter how often I tell her it’s over. Biggest mistake of my life.” He shrugged.

I could see her appeal, she was attractive, tight in all the right places. But she had crazy written all over her face.

“How long were you with her?”

“Too long, man, way too long. I knew she was batshit in the first month, but she got her hooks into me, and I couldn’t let go. We dated on and off for over a year. I finally ended it a few months ago.”

“I’ve been with girls like that.” I nodded in commiseration.

“I can finally breathe, you know?”

“I really do.” I didn’t tell him
in my case it was my mom who had messed me up and not a chick.

“Come on, let’s go find Ian before he gets in too much trouble.”

We found him outside at a table with a big group of people. Mostly women, which wasn't at all surprising.

“Chad, I was just telling Leah here all about you.” He kicked out the chair across from him for me to sit and gestured to the gorgeous redhead on his left.

“So you’re from New York?” She had a deep throaty voice that I found wildly appealing. Hell, pretty much everything about her was appealing.

“Yeah, just moved out here a month ago for school.”

She scooted her chair over by me. “I’ve always wanted to go to New York. Is it really as dirty as everyone says?” She leaned in as she spoke.

“It’s not so bad, like anyplace it has its bad spots. You just have to know where to go.”

“And you can tell me where I should go right?” She angled her legs so they were touching mine.

What the hell had Ian said to her? She was coming on strong
, and I wasn’t sure I would be man enough to say no when the time came. Leah was hot, she was stacked, and my interest was piqued. Scarlet crossed my mind—this felt wrong, like I was cheating even though we weren’t even dating.

“Told you that you two would hit it off
,” Ian chimed in.

“You were more than right.” She winked at him.

Vin just laughed and walked off to find a drink, leaving me with Ian and Leah. Apparently I hadn't gotten the ‘get Chad laid’ memo.

“How are you liking the west coast so far?”
she asked.

“It’s not bad, the weather is for sure a lot nicer than back home.”
Really, the weather?
I mentally shook myself out. “The girls are a lot prettier.”

A slow seductive smile spread across her face
. “California girls have all the fun.” She licked her lips.

We talked for a while longer, and at some point she ended up sitting on my lap. I couldn’t tell you how it happened, but there she was, all of her delicious curves wrapped around me.

“Want to get out of here?” she whispered in my ear as she nuzzled against my neck.

“Designated driver, so I’m not going anywhere until Vin and Ian are ready to roll.”

“Hmm, well I’m sure we can find a place here to get into some trouble.” Her lips were against mine before I could reply, her hands tight around the back of my neck.

When I pulled back my heart sank, standing just behind us was Scarlet. The look on her face spoke volumes. She shook her head and walked away. She was hurt, and rightfully so. A voice inside of me rebelled against that line of thinking
. We weren’t dating, I didn’t owe her anything.

I pushed Leah off my lap, back onto her chair.

“Hey, what gives?” She looked confused.

“Sorry, I have to go.” I got up.

“What do you mean you have to go?” she pouted, looking less appealing than she had all night.

“I saw someone I have to talk to. See you around
okay?” I walked off before she could respond.

Scarlet was just reaching the front door when I found her.

“Wait!” I yelled from down the hall.

She turned and looked at me before walking out the door.

“Scarlet, damn it, wait up,” I called once I was outside. She was halfway down the long driveway.

“Why? What is it that you have to say to me? I thought you weren’t interested in starting anything with anyone right now? Or was it just me?”

“Stop it okay, just stop it. I didn’t do anything with Leah, I just met her tonight.”

“That didn’t look like nothing to me. How would you have felt if you found me on some guy’s lap with my face attached to his?”

“I would be pissed,” I admitted. Pissed was an understatement, livid was a better word for it.

“So what, you don’t want me, but you don't want anyone else to have me either?”

“I never said I didn’t want you,” I said softly.

“What is it then? Why do you keep pushing me away, why was Leah shoving her tongue down your throat?” She looked close to tears.

“I’m a dick Scarlet. I keep telling you that, maybe now you’ll finally believe me.” I raked my hand through my hair.

“You’re not though.” She took a few steps toward me, her anger melting away. “You keep telling yourself that you are, that you aren’t worth my time. I’m capable of deciding that for myself. Look, we’re not dating
—we went on one date—you don’t owe me any explanations about Leah. I was just hurt. It killed me to see her kissing you.” She looked away.

“Ok
ay, so what now?”

“Whatever you want. You know my feelings, the ball is in your court. I just can't have you out there kissing all the pretty girls in L.A. in the meantime
.”

I paced around on the driveway. “So, you want to date.” It wasn't a question.

“Yes, I think I made myself clear before.” She wasn’t giving me an inch.

“I’m not good at dating.”

“How do you know? You've never dated me before, you might like it.” She smiled.

“You’re all I can think about anymore.”

She walked toward me. “Is that so bad?”

“Not bad, just confusing.”

“What’s so confusing about it? I’m a girl, you’re a boy, and we have amazing chemistry. You feel it too, I know you do.” She was inches from me now.

“Fuck it.” I yanked her forward and claimed her. Her lips fought with mine in perfect harmony. I slipped my hands around her waist and pulled her closer, wanting all of her, everything she had to give.

She pulled back and looked up at me. “What was that?”

“That was me not fighting it anymore. Let’s see where this goes.”

“No more running?”

“Nope, my feet are planted.” I kissed her again. “As much as I want to leave with you right now I can’t. I'm their ride.”

“It’s fine, I’ll go back in with you.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want it to be weird for you.”

“It won’t be weird for me. It might be weird for Leah, but then again she has a habit of throwing herself at hot guys.”

“Well, well, well, Scarlet has a catty side.” I grinned down at her.

“Not catty, just speaking the truth. I’ve known her for a long time. And yes, she knew I liked you and made a play anyway.”

“It’s not all her fault, Ian sort of pushed her in my direction.”

“Honey, stop defending her to me. I know exactly who she is. Let’s go and have a good time okay?” She linked her hand with mine, and we walked back up the driveway and into the house.

Vin arched a brow when he saw Scarlet with me, but he didn’t say anything. Ian shook his head and laughed. “Guess you’re wrapped up after all huh? Can’t blame a guy for trying to broaden your horizons right?”

I started to speak but Scarlet cut me off.

“Ian, his horizons are broad enough thank you. He’s got everything he needs right here.”

“Looks like he does. Point taken.” He shrugged.

“Be sure you remember it.” She poked him in the chest.

“Hey, I get it now. He’s on lockdown.” He laughed.

“And happy to be there.” I kissed her forehead.

After dropping the guys off
and collecting my bike I met Scarlet down at the beach where we had first met. She was sitting on the hood of her beat up old truck waiting for me.

“So, you’re sure about this?”
she asked.

“About what? Us?”

“Yeah. I don’t want to scare you off.”

I stepped between her legs and snaked my arms around her waist. “I told you, no more running.” I kissed her softly. “I don’t want to fight this anymore. It feels right.” I stepped back and helped her down.

We walked out onto the sand and sat on the blanket she had in her truck. The waves crashed one after one onto the shore. It was peaceful to watch, knowing that it would always do that until the end of time.