The Defendant (10 page)

Kelly frowned and did her best to follow the counselor’s conversation. Trevor entered the bedroom and stood a short distance away, staring at the floor. A cup of coffee and a plate of toast were on a tray in his hands. Her heart lurched at his thoughtfulness.

“Mrs Logan? Are you still there?”

“Y-yes,” she managed. “I’m still here.”

“Would you like to make an appointment?”

Kelly closed her eyes and tried to block out the pain. The sane, logical part of her brain urged her to respond with an affirmative, but the ever-present blackness overshadowed it. She didn’t want to make an appointment. She didn’t want to ever have to think about that nightmare again. She couldn’t think of anything worse than reliving the terror of it before a stranger—or anyone. Not even her husband.

“I’m…I’m sorry, Ms Jamison. I really am. I appreciate your call and your very kind offer, but I don’t think so.”

“Talking about it with someone can help, Mrs Logan.” The woman’s gentle reply brought tears to Kelly’s eyes. She turned her face away from her husband and bit her lip against a sob.

“I-I’m sorry, I have to go.” Quickly, she returned the receiver to the cradle and then buried her face against her pillow. The pain she’d tried so hard to hold at bay seeped from her eyes and sent a paroxysm of shudders through her body. She thought she was all out of tears, but fresh ones kept coming. They ran down her cheeks and dampened the pillowcase.

A rough hand swiped gently across her hair. She tensed and then forced herself to relax.

Trevor.
It was only Trevor. It was the first time he’d touched her since it happened. She cried like she’d never stop.

CHAPTER NINE

Josie stared at the untouched chicken and mayo roll on her desk and swallowed a sigh. She’d dashed out between patients and purchased it from the café around the corner, but hadn’t gotten around to eating it. Now, as she waited for Daniel Logan, her appetite disappeared.

While she’d refused to share her thoughts with Chase, she was fairly certain in which direction they were headed. From all accounts, Daniel was a well-mannered, well-behaved preteen who had been raised with courtesy and respect. While he’d been through severe trauma, the kind she wouldn’t wish on anybody, it couldn’t be said that he was unable to grasp the seriousness of what was going on. In their last session, he’d even asked about the court process and how long a matter like his might take.

No, she was sure that his fitness to stand trial and his ability to comprehend what was going on was unquestionable. What she was less certain of was his ability to discern right from wrong in the criminal sense that the Crown required. Secretly, she hoped when she questioned him in this regard, he would display obvious signs that he didn’t quite understand. The last thing she wanted was to see him stand trial.

He’d killed a man, but who wouldn’t have done the same in similar circumstances? Most of the townspeople were appalled he’d been charged, men and women alike. Some were hailing Daniel a hero. Even others were calling for a bravery award. She hadn’t heard a single whisper that the law had played it right.

It tore Josie up inside. She was among the people who wanted to laud the boy as a hero, but they were part of a society that lived and died by its rules—rules that were imperative to survival and were necessary to ensure order. Without them, there would be anarchy.

She couldn’t imagine what would happen if people were free to shoot and kill as they pleased. No one had the right to be judge, jury and executioner, no matter how despicable the crime. Laws were put in place for a reason. It wasn’t up to a twelve-year-old boy to decide when and if he would follow them. Her thoughts turned to the police and the difficult job they faced.

She wondered about Chase and Riley and the pressure they both must be under. Helplessness and compassion tightened her chest. She hoped the people of Watervale understood that the police were merely doing their job. She remembered her outburst when Chase informed her that charges would be laid and she felt a stab of guilt. She’d been unfair. The Chase she’d known wouldn’t have made the decision lightly.

She recalled his invitation earlier that morning to get together for a drink and her heart skipped a beat. The invitation was not something she expected and just the thought of meeting him sent heat coursing through her. It was foolish to get so excited at the thought of seeing him again socially. Years ago, he’d dumped her without a word of explanation. His actions shredded her heart into so many pieces, it had taken her years to heal. He’d taken the one thing she offered him so freely and lovingly, something she could never regain, then turned around and left her without looking back.

He was just like the boys her mother had warned her about; the ones who were only after one thing. Josie used to smother a smile every time her mother said it:
‘They’re only after one thing’—
like her mother couldn’t bring herself to say the word sex.

The fact that her mother had been right saddened her; that Chase was the one to take her innocence and leave without a word devastated her even more.

And yet, here she was, a decade later, contemplating forgiving and forgetting the past. Did she love him that much that she’d be willing to overlook his cruel and callous behavior, the way he exited her life the very day after she slept with him?
Despite everything, did she still want more of him?

She sighed heavily, scared that the answer was yes, regardless of the reasons why she should not. Somewhere buried deep within her, she hoped he’d finally offer her an explanation; one that would blow all the heartache away; one that she could nod and smile in relief and say, ‘Of course, that’s why you didn’t call; why you left without a word.’

She glanced at her watch: Three more hours before she was due to meet him; three more hours before, hopefully, she’d know the truth and if that truth could set her free, then maybe, just maybe, she’d feel his lips on hers again.

Excitement, apprehension and uncertainty surged through her. The tangled web of emotions sent a tingling sensation all the way down to her toes. She remembered the way he held her, like she was the most valuable thing in the world. She remembered his soft caresses, of the feel of him deep within her. It had been too long since she felt cared for and loved. She’d been so lonely. All of a sudden, the time to meet him couldn’t come soon enough.

The phone at her elbow buzzed and she picked it up and answered the call.

“Josie, it’s Moira. I just wanted to let you know your next appointment is here.”

“Thank you, Moira. I’ll be right out.”

* * *

Josie watched Daniel from out of the corner of her eye and made notes on the pad in front of her. She was a little surprised to discover he’d come to the clinic alone. He looked drawn and tired and defeated—and who could blame him? The past month since the attack couldn’t have been easy.

What had the school yard been like? Was he teased? Did they ask him questions he didn’t want to answer? Or had the attitude of his fellow students been more supportive, like the people of the town?

Knowing the townspeople were behind him may have helped restore his flagging spirits, but nothing would change what had happened that ill fated evening. No one could turn back time.

“How’s your mother?” she asked quietly.

“I dunno. She’s all right, I guess.”

“Do you know if she’s been seeing anyone, a counselor?”

He shrugged and stared at the floor. “Maybe. She spends an awful lot of time in bed. I dunno how she can stay in that room. I can’t go anywhere near it.”

Josie closed her eyes briefly against the sorrow his words evoked and continued making notes.

“How did you get here today, Daniel? Did your mother bring you in?”

“No, Dad did. He said Mom wasn’t up to it.”

“Well, thank you for coming in. I really appreciate it.”

“You need to see me to write your report. Isn’t that what you said? You said you’d write a report that would make them see they’d have to drop the case.”

She stared at the earnestness on his face and her heart broke a little more. She had to make him understand it wasn’t as simple as that.

“I do need to see you so that I can write the court report, but it’s not up to me to decide. The judge will listen to arguments from the prosecutor and from your lawyer. It’s then up to the judge to decide.”

His eyes blazed with anger. “Then why am I here? If what you say doesn’t matter, what’s the point of rehashing it all? Do you think I enjoy reliving it? Remembering what I saw?”

“No, of course not,” she replied calmly. “I can’t imagine how hard it must be.”

“You’re damn right it’s hard! Every time I close my eyes I can see him with my mom. I run to the shed and I get the gun, but this time I can’t find any ammunition. It’s not where Dad left it. I look around the shed, but it’s dark and I end up turning in circles. I hear Mom screaming, shouting for me to help. I know what that man’s doing to her and I just want to make him stop.”

His breath came hard and fast. His eyes were wide with fear. Josie fought against the urge to take him in her arms and soothe the pain away. She had a job to do and she had to see it through.

“What was he doing to your mom, Daniel?”

“He was… He was raping her! He had his pants down around his knees. Her nightgown was all bunched up. What the hell do you think he was doing?”

“It was wrong, wasn’t it, Daniel?”

“Of course it was wrong! He was hurting her. He was hurting my mom.” His voice caught on a sob and once again, Josie struggled against the urge to offer him comfort.

“You decided to get the gun.”

“Yes, it was the only way I could think of to make him stop.”

“You knew where the gun was? You knew where your dad kept the bullets?”

“Yes! Yes! I’m with my dad all the time when he goes to the gun safe. We shoot rabbits and crows and kangaroos. Sometimes we go to the rifle range and shoot at targets.”

“You knew the combination to the safe. You knew which gun to choose. Did you load it with ammunition?”

“Of course I did. I couldn’t have shot him without it.”

“So you went for the gun, knowing you were going to shoot him?”

“Yes, are you
stupid?
I had to make him stop. I was the man of the house. Dad told me I was responsible for Jason and my mom. The man was way too big to tackle and I had nothing to hit him with. All I could think of was getting the gun.”

“When you loaded the gun and brought it back into the house, did you still intend to use it?”

“Of course I did!” he shouted. “Haven’t you been
listening?
There was no other way to make him stop.”

“So you went back into your mom’s bedroom and the man was still there. What did you do, Daniel?”

“I lifted the rifle to my shoulder and I looked through the scope. I put the crosshairs on him.”

“Where did you aim, Daniel?”

He paused and stared straight at her, his eyes hard. “I aimed for the back of his head.”

“Did you know that it might kill him?”

Daniel scoffed mirthlessly. “Of course I did. I’ve shot rabbits. I’ve shot kangaroos. I know what happens when they take a bullet. They darn well don’t get up.”

“Is that what you wanted?”

He stood suddenly and leaned forward over her desk, his face only inches from hers. “I wanted him to stop. And he did.”

Josie remained where she was and held his wild stare. Slowly, the tension left his body and he crumpled back onto the seat.

After awhile, she spoke again, her voice soft and gentle. “Is killing someone wrong, Daniel?”

He gave her a jerky nod.

“Are we allowed to go around killing people?”

“No,” he responded, just as quietly.

“What should we do if someone is doing something wrong, like breaking the law?”

Daniel drew in a deep breath and let it out on a heavy sigh. He slumped forward and covered his face with his hands. His voice came out muffled when he finally replied. “We call the police.”

“Why didn’t you call the police, Daniel?”

“I live twenty-five miles from town!” he cried in a voice that broke her heart. “It would have been too late. Don’t you understand anything?”

“Do you think it was wrong to kill that man?”

“Yes, it was wrong, but I bloody well don’t regret it. He was hurting my mom and I had to make him stop.” He looked up and stared at her, his expression coldly determined. “I’d do it again if I had to.”
   

CHAPTER TEN

Josie added another coat of red lipstick with a hand that wasn’t quite steady. A quick glance at the clock on her nightstand showed her it was nearly seven o’clock. With a ten-minute drive into Watervale, if she didn’t hurry up, she’d be late. With a final swipe of the brush through her long blond hair, she collected her handbag off the kitchen table and headed out the door.

Chase had given her directions to The Bullet and on the dot of seven, she pulled into the car park adjacent to the bar. She was surprised at the number of vehicles already there. It was relatively early and a week night at that and yet the parking lot was brimming with cars, mostly pick-ups and SUVs. Her father’s sleek, little Mustang stood out in the crowd.