The Defendant (31 page)

“Thank you for everything you’ve done—for me and for my brother. I-I really appreciate it. I don’t know what we would have done if you hadn’t been willing to take us in.”

“Honey, you’re so very welcome. I’m more than happy to do anything I can to help you—both of you. You’re such great boys. Neither of you deserve the turmoil and tragedy that has recently beset your lives. I wish I could take the pain away, but I can’t. If I can help in even a small way, I’m more than willing to do it.”

Daniel nodded and then compressed his lips and closed his eyes, as if staving off a surge of emotion. A deep sadness flooded his face. A moment later, he opened his eyes and she almost gasped at the raw emotion that pooled in their depths.

“I’m ready to face the judge tomorrow; I’m ready for whatever might happen. I killed a man and I meant to do it. No matter how many times I see his brain exploding against the wall behind my mom’s head, I’d do exactly the same thing again if I had to.”

He bowed his head and his voice lowered to a harsh whisper. “I must be punished. It’s only right. I’m ready for whatever will happen.”

“Daniel, you don’t—”

“No. Please, don’t say anything. I-I’d like to be alone.”

Josie stared at him a moment longer, wanting to help, needing to ease his pain, but he kept his head lowered and his face turned away. Although it went against every one of her professional and motherly instincts, she swallowed a sigh and stood and quietly left the room.

* * *

Scott Jones unfolded the piece of paper he’d tucked away in his pocket after the kindly old lady in the post office had provided the information he sought. Doctor Josie Munro was renting an old farmhouse on the outskirts of town. The nearest neighbor was apparently more than four miles away.

A surge of excitement went through him. It sounded perfect. He could have a lot of fun on the outskirts of town with the nearest neighbor more than four miles away. Everything was falling into place. Even now, it was like Neil was looking out for him.

“This is for you mate,” he whispered, looking up toward the roof of his cheap rust box of a car. Leaning forward, he punched the address the woman had given him into the GPS and waited for it to load.

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

Chase glanced at his watch and his pulse picked up its pace. His shift was almost over. He wanted to head over to Josie’s straight after work. Every moment he spent with her was a moment to be treasured and stored away in his memory. It was soppy, romantic crap, but it was exactly how he felt. He knew what it was like to live without her. He also knew he didn’t want to do it again.

He saw Riley heading out of his office. His boss was halfway across the squad room before he spied Chase at his desk. He changed direction and Chase braced himself, not sure what might be forthcoming. Riley hadn’t spoken to him alone about Chase’s relationship with Josie since the night Chase had spilled his guts to him at The Bullet.

“Chase, how’s it going?”

Chase acknowledged Riley’s question with a nod. “It’s been a fairly routine day, boss. I interviewed Deleece Boney about the assault inflicted upon her by her boyfriend. She’s sporting the biggest shiner you’ve ever seen, but now that it’s daylight, she’s decided she doesn’t want to press charges. She’s sure he only did it because she got a little mouthy when he came home drunk—again.” Chase shook his head. “Without her statement, we have shit. He’s gonna walk.”

Riley grimaced. “How can we help these women find the courage to stand up for themselves if they keep going back? We need to do a better job helping them understand they have options.”

Chase’s fists tightened in remembered angst. It frustrated him no end the number of times they were called to a domestic disturbance only to have the offender walk free when the victim refused to press charges in the cold, harsh light of day. Of course, everything was so much more complicated than that, but it still didn’t make the end result any more palatable. He doubted anyone had a quick fix solution, but it didn’t mean he’d ever give up trying.

“About Josie, I take it you told her about the cancer?”

Riley’s question jolted Chase’s thoughts back into focus. “Of course. I told her everything.”

Riley nodded. “Good. That’s the way it has to be. You can’t build a relationship on lies. Trust is everything. If you don’t have it, you don’t have anything.”

“What about love? You won’t make me believe you don’t think the world of Kate.”

“Of course, I do. I love her with my life. She
is
my life. But love’s the easy part. Love can withstand more of a battering than you can imagine. You won’t believe me now, but one day you’ll discover what I say is true. It’s been ten years since you and Josie were together and yet, I bet you love her more than ever now. I bet you never stopped loving her, right?”

“Right.”

“See? That’s what I’m talking about. That’s how strong love can be. It’s withstood a decade of neglect. Trust, on the other hand, is not so impregnable. Once trust has been breached, there’s no going back. Not time, not forgiveness, not even love can restore that unshakable faith and belief we all have in the person we love before that trust is lost.”

Riley stared at him. “People will try and tell you differently—that if you both want it badly enough and try hard enough, trust will be regained and things between you can be as good and as strong as it was before, but they’re lying—or totally misguided. It can’t happen. It won’t happen.”

His gaze intensified on Chase’s, holding him captive. “I love my sister as much as any brother can. I accept that you love her, too. I can live with that. You’re a good guy. But if you ever hurt her, if you ever give her reason to doubt you, you’ll answer to me. Understand?”

“Yes, sir. I understand.”

“I have four brothers. They’re all in law enforcement. They’re all older than Josie and they’re all as big as me. Do you understand?”

Chase’s gaze didn’t flinch away from Riley’s hard stare. “Yes, sir, I understand.”

Riley’s narrowed gaze held his for another long moment. As if satisfied with what he saw, he nodded briskly and then moved away.

“Take care of her. Make her happy.”

“I will. I give you my word.”

When Riley turned and walked away, Chase blew out his breath in relief. He stood behind every word he’d said, but it was a small comfort to have some physical distance between him and Josie’s very protective, older brother. He glanced at the clock and noticed his shift was officially over and then looked down at his rumpled clothes.

Apart from his visit to Deleece Boney’s squat on the less than desirable side of town, he’d also helped locate a child who’d run away from his mother at the shopping mall, followed up routine enquires on a well-known local drug dealer and dealt with a stealing incident at Watervale High School.

His once-crisp white business shirt looked decidedly worse for wear. He needed a shower and probably a shave and a set of fresh clothes wouldn’t be a bad idea. Even though the Logan boys were there, he lived in hope Josie might let him spend the night, or at least part of it, in her bed. The least he could do was make an effort on his appearance.

With his mind made up, Chase logged off and gathered his things. At the thought of being with Josie again soon, his heart lightened and he left the office with a skip in his step.

* * *

Josie slipped into the living room where Jason lay curled up on the sofa. The TV was tuned to an afternoon game show, but his expression showed very little interest in what was playing out on the screen. He’d kicked off his tattered sneakers and socks and his feet were pale in the late afternoon light. Night would soon be upon them. The sun faded quickly in the fall.

She thought of Pete the Plumber and hoped he’d still make it out. Having a second toilet was convenient, especially with the boys. She glanced again at Jason’s forlorn features and resolved to talk to him. She wondered if he was still receiving counseling from Phoebe.

Taking a seat beside him, she looked across at him and offered him the same encouraging smile she gave to all of her new patients. Most of them looked like him: uncertain, scared, but trying oh so hard not to show it. Like she had with his brother, she started out with a non-confrontational topic.

“How was school today?” And just like his brother, he replied with a shrug. Josie suppressed a sad smile.

“I spoke with your principal right before I collected you. He’s a little worried about you.”

Another slight shrug.

Unperturbed, Josie continued. “He’s concerned you might not be getting all the help you need. There’s been an awful lot going on in your life and a lot of people would be feeling overwhelmed. I know if it were me, I’d be going completely bonkers. I don’t know whether I’d want to talk about it, but you know what? Between you and me, sometimes talking about it is the best thing you can do.”

Jason remained silent, but she could tell he was listening. The glazed indifference had left his eyes and his expression was keen. He turned away from her, toward the television, but she didn’t mind. The fact that he was listening was what mattered.

“Once, when I was a kid in high school, I tripped up and broke my leg. I had no great story to tell about how I’d done it—no glorified tale. I hadn’t fallen off while galloping my horse; I hadn’t come off my skateboard or my BMX bike attempting a death-defying stunt. Nothing as impressive or heroic as that.

“No, I fell over my own big feet while practising a cheerleading move I’d done hundreds of times before. To make matters worse, I did it in front of not only the rest of the cheerleaders, but the whole football team. They were on the field practising game moves. I’d never felt so humiliated.”

A tiny grin tugged at the corners of Jason’s mouth and Josie’s heart swelled with emotion. At last, she’d gotten a smile out of him. With a deep breath, she continued.

“I broke both of the bones in my leg and pretty badly, too. I had plates and pins and screws put in my leg to hold the bones together. I was in a cast for eight weeks and then spent another four on crutches. I missed the entire cheerleading season. I watched it from the sidelines, unable to do anything else.

“Now, I don’t know if you know anything about cheerleading, but it’s pretty important to a teenage girl. I was so mad about breaking my leg, I was in a bad mood for more than a month. But I was also embarrassed about how it had happened and so I kept quiet about it for most of that time. Inside, I was furious I was missing the season; outside, I did my best to smile.

“My mom, of course, knew I was angry and upset and disappointed. She could tell without me saying a thing. Moms have special abilities like that. I think God made them that way.”

A single tear welled up in Jason’s eye and silently rolled down his cheek. Josie cursed beneath her breath. She’d forgotten for a second that he no longer had a mom. With nothing to do but to continue, she forged on, hoping he’d stay focused on her story and not on his recent loss.

“Mom told me it was okay to be mad. She told me to voice my anger. She encouraged me to shout and cry and yell out my disappointment and so, I did. Afterwards, I felt so much better.”

She reached out and brushed a lock of unruly hair off his forehead. “Sometimes we need to voice our feelings, to give in to our temper; to shout out our hurt, to express our disappointment. All of those emotions are real and normal and need to be given their due. And afterwards, it’s like all of those feelings we’d bottled up inside us have floated away in the air to dissolve and disappear like bubbles.”

Jason’s lower lip wobbled and he blinked as if to hold back more tears. Sliding closer, Josie drew him up against her and was quietly relieved when he leaned into her. She could feel the tension in his body and hoped he’d heed her advice. He was wound up tighter than a piano string. His pain was tangible.

“It’s okay, Jason. Let it go, sweetheart. Let that anger and hurt and disbelief… Let that disappointment and confusion go. Talk to me about it and let’s see if we can’t make it disappear. I promise you’ll feel better. I can assure you, I did.

“After I yelled and cried out my frustration and disappointment that I couldn’t be a cheerleader that season, it felt like a weight had lifted, like I was ready to accept what had happened and move on.”

She smiled down at him and ruffled his hair. “From that day, my attitude changed and I was okay about my broken leg. I did the exercises like the physical therapist told me and over time, I healed. I also made new friends that year—other kids who for one reason or another, spent their time on the sidelines. It never would have happened if I hadn’t broken my leg.”

He pulled back a little and looked up at her with wide, dark eyes. She was gratified to see the tears had dried and a little of the sadness had gone.

“Sometimes things happen that are so bad, we can’t for the life of us understand why they happened: Why was God so angry? Why did he let it happen? Why me?” she whispered, her voice low and hoarse. “But later, after we’ve had a chance to think it through or yell it out or do whatever it takes to feel better about the hand we’ve been dealt, we often see a higher purpose, a reason for the ill that has come our way.”

“But I don’t understand why God had to take my mom away!” Jason shouted. “Why did she have to leave? I miss her so much. I want her back.”