The Deliverance of Dilan (The Syndicate #4) (18 page)

“If you want me, then you will let Cecily go too. That’s the only way I will leave with you. Otherwise, I will take my chances on dying by the hands of your sister.”

DILAN

Silence is an eerie fucker. It seeps into your blood and paralyzes the brain. It consumes your inner thoughts. It fucks you up the ass in a raw way. Silence is deadly. That’s how it is for several drawn-out minutes when a dozen or so men stand around, wondering what in the fuck to do, our hearts trapped in thick barbed wire, cutting, slicing us above and below the belt.

This kind of thick silence is killing us all. As we fall into the depths of despair, I allow my thoughts to linger on Anna. On the way she has made me feel since the first time I saw her. On her will to make it on her own, to prove to herself she’s worthy. Anna is drenched with love, strength, and trustworthiness. She’s an angel. My angel. I’m a damn fool for not reciprocating how I actually felt about her when she told me. Christ. I should have spun her ass around and kissed her like she wanted me to. Like I wanted to when I heard her spill her guts to Deidre. But fuck, no. Instead, I chose to protect her. Look where she is now. She’s with the worst kind of man any woman could be with. He’s dangerous, manipulating, and a cold-hearted killer.

Anna’s life was torn apart when I first met her. Her life at the time was crumbling in every direction. Yet this woman, who had no idea what kind of life she was running to, welcomed us all. Not once judging the shit we do, the way we live, or the means we go about to survive. Those types of women are rare, women who stand by the side of a criminal, turn their cheek and still love you in a way no one else could. Christ, I need her back. We need them all back.

These are our women. Our foundation. A good woman will have your back, be supportive, and tell you shit you don’t want to hear if only to make you see things from their point of view. Fuck.

And now… She’s gone. Again, the entire thing is my fault. I should have never come back here. I should have left this shit alone. Learned to go on. But hell, no. I had to seek my revenge. I unwillingly put the lives of the people I love in danger, and now look what the hell I have done. I have all but killed my unt, two other important women in my life, and the woman I love.

It’s fucked up as all hell to stand here and admit I love her when god knows what is happening to her right now. I’m the only man who’s been inside of her. Completely. She waited for me. She gave her heart to me. I’m in love with her. She’s in love with me. I know she is.

I lift my eyes off the goddamn floor of hell when my uncle finally speaks, his words showing his worry. I hunger to let my mind stay with Anna. But it can’t. If I want to hold her, to taste her, to tell her I love her, and to hear those sweet words repeated back to me, I need to listen. Need to drive the way I feel about her out of my brain for the time being, but to let it seep deep into my bones, let it drive me in that direction. The direction to kill for her.

“Go get the women and children. They need to be at my house. The Solokov women are welcome there too. I believe once we break the news to each one of them, they will all need each other. My guess is Juan has called off his men from this surrounding area. His threats do not go unanswered. He wants us to find him.

Anton, if you can make sure it’s safe for us all to leave, I would appreciate it. Roan and Cain, you handle your wives with care. And Aidan, make sure Deidre is very aware that she is carrying a child she has to worry about. I want them all safe while we meet at the warehouse on 44
th
. Time isn’t on our side. Ivan and I will discuss this. We will have a plan by the time you all get there.”

I can’t even speak. Though, I’m not sure what I would say if I could. No one speaks. All I see is a lot of nodding of heads and shoulders slumped forward as if we have already lost. I watch them leave from my position on the sofa, where I now have my hands crossed over my chest, my breathing floating heavily in this room.

Roan pauses in the doorway and turns back to face me, halting both Aidan and Cain along with him.

“I know what the fuck is running through your mind, Dilan. Let it fucking go. You can blame yourself all you want, but this is the last time I’ll tell you that no one blames you for this. We’re all a little shocked. Stunned to the very fucking core over this shit. One thing you need to know, to hear from me, is this. I can honestly stand here and tell you that if I were you, I would be doing the same thing. Nothing would have stopped me, and I know with every goddamn bone in my body that you wouldn’t blame me for a damn bit of it. Pull your head out of your ass. Man the fuck up. I want every one of those women back.” I close my eyes and clip the bridge of my nose, exhaling as I do.

“Don’t stand there pitying yourself or any one of us, Dilan. We will get through this.” My uncle stands directly in front of me. His words are mixing with the ones Roan just spoke, stabbing me with a dull knife into my already wounded heart.

“One thing I hate is repeating myself. But it seems with you I have to. You’ve always carried this fucked-up world on your shoulders. Just like your cousin, you’re a fixer. Determined to do shit on your own in order to protect those you love. Well, goddamn it, sometimes in life we need to ask for help. Even though you didn’t, you sure as fuck are getting it. There are things in life that drive us to do things we do not want to do. I know first-hand how these things or people that drive a knife so deep into your gut, twisting the shit out of it until you’re damn near bleed dry, can possess your every thought. It damn near killed me to know Royal had a part in putting you away. Why he turned on all of us is irrelevant. He did. He broke the rules and so did the Carlos family. The situation with Royal has lead up to all of this. My guess is he was jealous of you, like he was of his own brother. He had his filthy hands mingling with Juan’s, to attack me where he knew it would hurt me the most. My family.” He pauses briefly then continues on, his words pulling me from my gloom of guilt.

“He was my son. For many days and nights after I witnessed him take his last breath, I blamed myself. Then one day, I woke up and told myself I cannot control someone else’s actions . I control me. The way I feel. If it weren’t this, it would have been something else forcing us to go to war with them. They bring disgrace to all humans. They have no respect for territorial boundaries. They want to rule it all. Someone has to stop them. That someone is us. I love you, Dilan. We all do. I also believe the women, who we all love, will come back to us unharmed. Now, go tell your parents what’s going on. Then you need to decide how to break this news to Grace. Thank god she has Ramsey.” He lets out a frustrated breath then continues.

“And make sure your dad fully understands he is not a part of this. He will not fight. He needs to stay with your mom. Meet us out front in half an hour. By then, I want the Dilan I know back. I want the man who is prepared to kill for the woman he loves.” He sucks in a sharp breath after his long speech that smacks me right across the face. A slap that stings.

“The same goes for me and my family. We care, Dilan. Now, go take care of your parents.” Ivan strolls toward me as he speaks, our feet damn near toe-to-toe when he pauses in front of me. His arms settle on my shoulders.

“You’re a good man. Trustworthy. This is your fight. We choose to not let you do it alone.”

Again, their words snap me to attention, shoot that magical poison into my veins. In this family, killing another for taking the women of a mafia family is one of the worst sins, one of the worst ways to start the next revolution. Killing for the safety of the queens, the princesses, and in my case, my woman, is not a crime. It’s a moral necessity. It’s a source of survival. We treat them with dignity and have respect for our women. For we as men are nothing without them. I’m tired of blaming this on me, when in truth it should be blamed on those who have committed sins against us. I’m done taking responsibility for this. Am over being a pussy. It’s time the real Dilan stands up and takes his place in this mighty powerful family.

“Oh, dear god, Dilan. No.” Mom shakes her head when I rely to both her and my dad the stakes of how important it is that they both listen to me.

“I’ll stay with everyone. Have you told Grace yet?” my dad comments as I follow them to where my dad helps my mom sit down on the couch. Her sobs create a chaos of emotions inside of me.

“No. I wanted to tell you first. To let you know what needs to be done. I’m going to tell her now.” I watch both of my parents’ faces take on a warranted downward twist, misfortune and understanding cemented in the way they shift uncomfortably.

“I’ll be fine. It’s Grace we need to worry about. She survived what happened last time. But this, we all know this is much worse. She’s going to need you both. Mom, I need you to be strong for her. Listen to her. Help her in any way you can. We’re getting them back. All of them,” I stress. She nods and grips my face tenderly. “Of course, I will. I want them all back as much as you do. I can see by the way you look at Anna, by the way you’re stepping in and putting her mother’s worries to the forefront, that you love her, son. Even though what you’re about to do is dangerous and the repercussions are something I won’t allow myself to think about, I want to tell you how proud I am of you.” Her words come out all rickety and shaken. I know she’s telling the truth. It’s hard not to miss the concern and worry she has for all of us in the way her trembling fingers try to hold steady.

I would love to stay and make sure they will both be all right, but I have to go. I know my parents well. They have a bond that will never be broken. They will be there for each other as well as everyone else.

“I have to go.” I sit down on the coffee table in front of them. Tears continue to fall from my mom’s eyes. Even my dad’s eyes are glassed over from tears I know will drop the minute I walk out this door.

“You kill them. All of them. And then you come back to us,” dad chokes out.

It takes everything I have to finally twist out of my mom’s firm hold. I kiss her one last time and hug my dad tightly before I trek down the hall to Grace’s room. The sweat running down my back increases with every step I take. I falter outside their door. Laughter rings out from inside. Christ. This is one of the hardest things I have ever done. It ranks up there with when I looked into my parents’ broken expressions when the judge bellowed out my prison sentence.

I knock, hollering out my name, letting them know it’s me. “What’s going on, Dilan? Come in, please.” Ramsey strains when he opens the door, while Grace peers at me from behind him.

“Where’s Anna?” Her question hammers my already beaten-down chest.

I blow out a large breath. I don’t have time to answer all of the questions I see swimming in her nervous eyes. It takes all I have just to tell her this.

“They took her, my aunt, Cecily, and Charlotte,” I tell them, my voice small, my phrase right to the point.

“No. Not my baby. Not again. I… I can’t go through this again. You all said we would get out of here. That you wouldn’t let anything happen to her again. This is your fault. All of you.” I close my eyes while I stand there, already numb to the fact that I am the biggest part of this reckoning. This is a mother whose entire life has been built around her only child. A mother who should never have to deal with this kind of shit, not only once, but twice. It’s understandably more than any one person should have to take.

“Elizabeth. That’s enough. I know you need someone to blame, but you cannot act like this. This is a time when we need to come together. To have faith. Look at the man. Can’t you see he’s falling apart here?” He turns from her to me. I’ll take the blame. I know I deserve it. All of it.

“She has every right to blame me. I’m not going to stand here and defend my actions didn’t cause this. What I am going to do is find her. I love her, Grace.” She won’t look at me. Her hands cover her face as she cries uncontrollably. I get it. She may never forgive me for this.

“Those people are not human. They’re wild animals. They will kill her,” she rattles off. There isn’t a damn thing I can do to convince her they won’t or to try and console her. Time is of the essence right now.

“I have to go. My uncle has requested for everyone to go to his house. It’s safe and best for everyone.” I direct my words at Ramsey instead of Grace. She’s disappeared into the suite, her raking sobs burning a hole through my ears.

“Safe?” she screams as she comes back around the corner, piercing me with her tear-stained eyes. Her voice is raw. “There’s nowhere safe from you people. You… you’re everywhere. I should have never agreed to stay here. I should have told her no. That we would have been better off starting over somewhere else. But no, even though you disappeared and shattered her, she still kept holding on to you. And for what? For you to come back and put her in more danger?”

“We’ll leave now. Go do what you have to. I have her.” Ramsey places his arms around her. Her hands are balling into fists as she beats her wounded soul onto his chest. I know she doesn’t mean what she’s saying. But I’d be a liar if didn’t admit it doesn’t shake me to an inch of losing the little bit of sanity I have left. I go to leave them, her hateful words ticking off like a time bomb down to its final seconds before it blows you the fuck up, crumbles you to a million untraceable pieces. I’m so ready to get the hell out of here.

“Take care of her.” I extend my hand out for him to shake. He releases his hold with one arm while holding her securely with the other. The vibes I’ve gotten from the man since I first met him have been nothing short of sincere. He cares deeply for both Grace and Anna. She will be well taken care of until I return her daughter to her.

“Not a problem. Take care of yourself. Kill the fuckers.” He shakes my hand, his hold firm.

“That won’t be a problem either,” I respond before exiting the room with the weight of the fucking world, my world, on my goddamn shoulders.

By the time I reach the room Anna and I shared, my phone is blowing up with text messages from everyone, saying they are all getting ready to leave.